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now he's making me mad

Calypso1977's picture

...and pushing me away.

he calls me up and says "dont worry about tonight, im going to pick SD13 up and drive around with her for 3 hours so you dont have to deal with her" all pissy.

i say "why drive around? take her to a cheap dinner somewhere". he replies "for three hours?"

i sent him a link to some stupid disney movie showing at 530; i also suggested some other stuff including the free swimming pool at our complex.

he's just being really pissy about the whole thing. again, annoyed that HE has to be inconvenienced but doesnt give a damn when im inconvenienced. he says i have a choice, he doesnt. ?!?!?

i basically told him he's being selfish and i dont appreciate the guilt trip.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

OMG! Seriously? It is an inconvenience to actually have to plan an evening with his child instead of just allowing her to sit in some corner on her electronics or plopped in front of the TV while he does his own thing? Seriously? Come on dad! Take the kid to a movie, get some ice cream and/or dinner, do some outdoor activity, do SOMETHING! Now, I'm mad for you!

over step's picture

My DH actually said that it's enough his DD15 is in the same house. He doesn't need physically be in the same room. I do not understand that reasoning.

Calypso1977's picture

i caved in and told him id stay out again.

i know that as soon as he tries to do something with her she will give him attitude, and then her attitude will put him in an even worse mood and then he will take it out on me tonight.

weak of me but i dont want to fight all night and sleep on teh couch. i already did that last night.

damn you SD. damn you to hell. she is coming between us and im sure she knows it. and im afraid im going to lose.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I wish you hadn't caved, but dealing with the princess, I can understand why. When you have to weigh out another fight versus just going and doing your own thing...yeah...I think I would have chosen my own thing, especially if DH and I had fought the night before. I hope you can find something fun to do. Are there some girlfriends you can go out to dinner with? Sounds like you should start making visitation night girls' night! Go out for a girls' dinner, meet at a coffee shop...something fun. When your fiancee sees you going on and having fun while he is stuck with the princess at home with her either glued to a phone or TV, maybe he will change his tune. If it doesn't, it will speak volumes!

Silent River's picture

Can't for the life of me understand how DH's can be so unable to come up with "things to do"???? Mine heads straight to the master bedroom to watch un-child friendly crap on TV. He only gets SD11 EOW? You would THINK he would be dying to do something with her. What ever happened to "redeem the time"??? Loosing ALL respect for DH!

Calypso1977's picture

I took a 2 hour bike ride. He took her out to eat with a gift card. He feels bad i think because he brought me back a dessert.

I asked him if he had a better time out with her than at home. He said they talked the whole time with no phones (phones at dinner table is a no for us).

Too bad this positive wont sink in.

Sigh.

katielee's picture

I LOVE your style, Sally. I do the same thing. When SD12 tries to dominate the conversation with her dad, I high jack it and start talking about his interests. Once you start that, there's not much she can do to get his mind back on HER life and HER problems. I also make sure I have a movie or tv show picked out for the evening that I KNOW she won't enjoy. I avoid shit like, "Taken" and other movies that involve daddyyyy's being heroes to their daughters (I used to love that movie, btw, but not anymore) and pick movies and shows that emphasize the marriage bond.