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Confessions time

disengagmentninja's picture

Submitted by disengagmentninja on Tue, 07/29/2014 - 6:26pm

I confess:

I decided to have a baby, because I could not stand anymore how my life was expected to revolve around my skids (then 2.5 & 5) when I married dh. I had a baby, and it was wonderful and still is wonderful having a 2nd bio-child (first with dh). And as I hoped, the baby usurped the skids, and everyone, even BM, was forced to deal with the fact that the skids are not the only two children on the fucking planet.

I deliberately fuck with BM at every opportunity because I hate her so very, very much. She is a selfish asshole. I fuck with her in ways she can't complain about. I kill her with kindness, and have for four years. And she hates it!
AND I LOVE IT.

I was one of those smoms who gave the skids everything, same as my own kids, and got burned, and burned out by it. I learned that sometimes less is more with skids. The more less I can give, the better. Especially in the negative energy toward BM department- I can own that.

I feel most powerful and like myself again when I am fully disengaged. DH comes home from dinner and doesn't bother asking me if I cooked for him and the skids because he knows he's on his own on skid nights. Skids treat me like a friend, and it's ok, now. I feel most pathetic when I slip into old ways of trying to teach them how to be good people. That is not my battle but I do apparently love to work hard..

In-laws were forced to acknowledge BOTH of my two bio children, because now I have one that is related to them. It amuses me when they tack on "and oh bd13 too!". Fuck them. I am also on ihatemyinlaws.com.

I'm bitter, but I'm a ninja. I'll get through it! I will find peace.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Tue, 07/29/2014 - 6:58pm

I confess:
I inwardly rejoice my kids made good choices with their lives (YDD had a false start though) and they now are on good paths. They got higher GPAs in h/school than my ssons who are a lot quicker and brighter.

I feel sorry for my DH who lost control of his sons who lived under BMs umbrella and were allowed to run their own lives and have 'life lessons'. He never signed up for this tye of crazy.

disengagmentninja's picture

Submitted by disengagmentninja on Tue, 07/29/2014 - 7:27pm

No, I'm working on that. It has nothing to do with my skids, though, and everything to do with my marriage. The marriage is, in my opinion, dead. He disagrees. So I'm living with someone I don't feel is right for me. And I have people around me I can't stand (in-laws, BM). Other than that, it's perfect! Smile

Shoofly's picture

Submitted by Shoofly on Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:12pm

Your skids are 2.5 and 5? And they burned you? I am sorry but this doesn't make any sense. You had a baby because you didn't want your life to revolve a 2 and 5 year old?

I am confused?

disengagmentninja's picture

Submitted by disengagmentninja on Wed, 07/30/2014 - 12:26pm

Just try to read slower and you'll probably get it. Sorry if it was confusing that I had a 2.5 year old and 5 year old skid when I got married, FOUR YEARS AGO. And burned out. And I had a baby and thank god for him, because otherwise it would still be The Skid Show around here!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 07/31/2014 - 1:26am

So that makes them 6.5/7 and 9 now. They're still fairly young.

Hopefully you resent the people raising them instead of them themselves.

disengagmentninja's picture

Submitted by disengagmentninja on Fri, 08/01/2014 - 4:52pm

When I said I gave to them and got burned by it, I was not blaming the skids. I was blaming myself. I gave, and I got burned. Clearly I need to give in a way that does not burn me. Working on it.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 07/30/2014 - 12:40am

I confess that I cannot believe how bm neglects her kids.

I also confess that I can't believe a lot of what's written here. Ie expecting inlaws to treat their step grandkids the way they treat your sks. I had SPs growing up. Their parents were nice to me and that was the end of it. I also confess that I cannot understand why people resent kids who aren't teens yet. If you mean you got burned by bm every time you did a good thing for these kids and SHE, an adult, gave you grief, I understand getting burned by that. I confess I don't understand why someone would choose to bring a baby into this situation. Have things always been this bad?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Wed, 07/30/2014 - 10:14am

I confess that I love it when SS15 is at his mom's, as the entire atmosphere in our home is so much more peaceful.

I confess that even though I know SS15 would be better off with us full time, I don't want him here any more than he already is.

I confess that DH and I are both counting down till he's 18 and we can tell him to go live with his mother full time if he hates us that much.

I confess that I'd enjoy next week's family vacation so much more if SS15 weren't coming.

Somuchdrama's picture

Submitted by Somuchdrama on Wed, 07/30/2014 - 12:45pm

I confess that I am glad the BM had to have a hysterectomy and will never have children with anyone else. She is a horrible mother as it is. Plus it eats her alive that DH and I have a beautiful baby together.