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Nasty suprise

Midd83's picture

So SD8 claimed she stopped wetting herself all the time. Turns out she's been hiding all the underwear she pisses in inside her clothes to go to BM's house on the weekends. She's also been hiding it in her drawers, jewelry, boxes, bags whatever she can get her nasty little hands on. We thought this was a medical issue and took her to specialist, nope, she's just a lazy little disgusting brat who would rather sit on her butt on the computer then get up tp use the bathroom. Worst part of it is there were so many pairs of underwear, I know she's not bathing when she does it. Her room smells like pee all the time and we could never figure out why. My husband and I don't know what to do with her, we've taken away tv, sweets, computer toys, she stops for a month then starts again. It's not the first time we've caught her hiding them. And according to BM she never does it at her house. I'm at my wit's end, it's unhealthy for everyone in the house and I'm shocked that she isn't bothered by how disgusting she is. And BM won't give us consent to take her to counseling about it.

Midd83's picture

We gave her that option, just make sure you wash your soiled clothes and sheets, shower and no one will make a big deal out of it. Nope she just outright is too lazy to do it.

Calypso1977's picture

im shocked the medical specialist didnt refer the child to a psychologist. with a medical referral you could probably get permission of the court to take her.

hangingbyathread6's picture

I had this issue with my SS12 when he was 9-10. It was pure laziness. Plain and simple. There was nothing medically wrong with him (he was checked out), he just didn't want to stop whatever it was he was doing to go and take a pee. He'd even shit himself...that's how bad it got. Coddling by DH and BM and MIL was getting nowhere, and when I stuck my hands in to the laundry basket to fill the washer and put my hands in wet pissy pants and SHIT all hell broke loose!! THAT WAS IT!! I made SS come and clean his own pants...scrub the shit off his underwear...he cried...I said, "you don't like it and it's YOUR shit...imagine how much I LIKED it??" I also told him that if he wasn't going to go to the bathroom like a "big boy" and was going to soil himself instead like a baby, he would be treated like a baby. Bought him pullups, no sleepovers, early bedtimes, no electronics and certainly no sports, because you have to be toilet trained to participate in sports. Suddenly, he never had another "accident" and hasn't since....

somedevilishbeauty's picture

SS7 just started doing this too, i thought it was because of BM current legal issues and they started staying with us full time( like an emotional issue). so i asked him and he admits to not wanting to stop playing video games and playing to go. so i told him go talk to your dad about it DH and BM can handle this one. DH told took xbox and tablet away. tv was the next time it happened. SS got really upset and stayed in his room the rest of the night ( his choice not ours)DH put on a movie for him after supper. when it was time to get ready for bed he changed and put his clothes in the basket in his room. I tucked them in said our prayers gave hugs and kisses. grabbed clothes out of basket and turned off the light. made it half way down the stairs before i noticed my hand was right on his shitty underware. I flipped!!!! I yelled for DH to get SS butt downstairs to wash out his own underware. DH thought that was kind of mean ( maybe it was a little but i was steamed) so i put the shitty underware in DH hands ( "how do you like it?", SS then had to wash them and HE did not like it one bit. cried and wined the whole time. havnt had an issue since, but its only been a few days so we will see.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

SS7 just started doing this too, i thought it was because of BM current legal issues and they started staying with us full time( like an emotional issue). so i asked him and he admits to not wanting to stop playing video games and playing to go. so i told him go talk to your dad about it DH and BM can handle this one. DH told took xbox and tablet away. tv was the next time it happened. SS got really upset and stayed in his room the rest of the night ( his choice not ours)DH put on a movie for him after supper. when it was time to get ready for bed he changed and put his clothes in the basket in his room. I tucked them in said our prayers gave hugs and kisses. grabbed clothes out of basket and turned off the light. made it half way down the stairs before i noticed my hand was right on his shitty underware. I flipped!!!! I yelled for DH to get SS butt downstairs to wash out his own underware. DH thought that was kind of mean ( maybe it was a little but i was steamed) so i put the shitty underware in DH hands ( "how do you like it?", SS then had to wash them and HE did not like it one bit. cried and wined the whole time. havnt had an issue since, but its only been a few days so we will see.

Orange County Ca's picture

I too think the consequences are not high enough. Don't be positive BM is telling the truth.

I'm wondering if she is so engrossed in electronics that she doesn't want to break off.

One of my earliest memories is playing "cow" outside with a friend and eating clover with our mouths. I was very young. I held my pee so long that when I finally went inside my mother made some comment of surprise over how long it took to drain me out. lol Well cows pee a lot don't they? Now I know why, clover tastes good.

Try sitting down with her and Daddy and write down a schedule of what is lost and for how long with each occurrence or each panty discovered. Of course each repeat makes the removal even longer. Or tell her that its become such a problem she's losing everything until she has gone a month without peeing, make it two, and keep count of where those panties are.

BethAnne's picture

If she is getting too distracted can you try making her go and sit on the toilet for 3 mins ever 30 or 45 mins or something? It sounds like hard work on your part, but showing her that a short trip to the bathroom doesn't ruin her day and getting her into the habit of interrupting whatever she is doing might help. You could do it for 3 days and then say to her that she is on her own and if she wets herself again she has to do it for 4 days and so on increasing the days until she gets it.

Not had this problem in our house so I've not tried this to know if it is a good idea, but just something that came into my head as a possible solution.

Poodle's picture

I agree with this one. she's too old to inspect like a baby and yes it's a bore, but force her to do frequent checks of herself. If she has to take a toilet break every half hour under your care and STILL wets, then it's definitely a psychological issue that needs professional intervention.