super aggravated today!!
Forums:
Am i the only one who feels like their husband needs to be doing and teaching their kids more things instead of expecting you as the step mom to do it?? He works full time almost constantly, i cant get a job because hes constantly at work and making basically nothing. He wants ne to stay home bc he says we couldnt afford day care even if i work. So im stuck at home constantly with two bad boys who i didnt create and my lovely daughter who is now becoming just like them. I love my husband but how can i go about telling him he needs to start doing his share with his kids. I mean is it horrible for me to feel not responsible for them bc i didnt create them? Or is that normal invthe beginning? Been married 4 months....
I'm not sure I buy that you
I'm not sure I buy that you couldn't afford day care if you worked. Have you looked into how much it costs? Most places will give you a multi-child discount. You might not make much more than daycare costs, but it will get you out of the house and interacting with other adults! Daycare eats up fully half of my take-home salary, but I am a MUCH better mom when I work.
The day cares in the town we
The day cares in the town we are in all have horrible reviews. We found a good one his boys used to go to but for all three kids it would be 215 a week. I was looking for a job but i stopped because we were told my husband was supposed to get a promotion and we would have to move off. But now his boss has changed his mind and says hes not getting his promtion until january. So i started looking again for one i can get when the boys go back to school then we will only have to pay for my daughter to go to daycare. But every job i find hes like no you wouldnt like that or thats too far away. He knows i need a job in order to keep my sanity. We have all of them completely full time. They only see their bio mom for 3 days a year and my daughters bio dad left when she was a baby. So iv always had to work bc iv been raising her on my own for years before i met my husband. Now im jobless and with three kids two dont have any respect for anyone and they are spoiled. I guess i really shouldnt be so mean about my husband bc he really is a great guy and dad. I just get so aggravatex bc the kids never help me with anything and im up cleaning and cooking all day while my husband just sits when hes home. Im just like come on get up and help me a little!! And he does sometimes. Im just soooooo stressed from this summer constantly being with the kids. I didnt think being a step mom would be this hard.
Sorry for the long rant lol i just need an adult to talk to for once!
are you getting CS from your
are you getting CS from your kid's father or the boy's mother?
not sure where you are located, but $215 a week for 3 kids is cheap.
how old are these boys? At the very least, you need to lay down the law with them and take on the discipline of them yourself if you must spend the majority of time with them. Your husband needs to back you up on all decisions you make with tehm and make it clear to them that YOU are in charge when he isnt at home.
Iv filed for child support
Iv filed for child support with my daughters sperm donor but he avoides it. I have no idea where he even is. We are actually planning to lawyer up soon and get his rights taken away. My husband doesnt bother eith trying to get money from his ex wife bc she doesnt work and claims she left the boys with my husband because she cant afford to take care of them. We live in texas and she lives in colorado. They divorced bc she got knocked up with another mans baby.
$215???? I am WILD with
$215???? I am WILD with envy! I pay $600 for my three per week (which is fairly normal for where I am). I am sure you can find something that pays more than $200/week! And don't let your DH tell you that you "wouldn't like that" or any such thing - you are a grown ass woman and if you find yourself a job then you and only you get to decide whether or not you like it. (And how far is "too far" anyway? My DH commutes an hour each way every day, because it's a good job and we didn't want to move. I know lots of people who commute more than 30 minutes each way. And people in more rural areas have to commute more than that!)
But every job i find hes like
But every job i find hes like no you wouldnt like that or thats too far away. He knows i need a job in order to keep my sanity.
Who is he to tell you what job you would like or wouldn't? Sounds to me like he just does not want you to work (or keep your sanity). Maybe he wants to keep you dependent on him?
I am just leery of men who are adamantly against their woman working. Who wouldn't like a little extra money coming in, especially if he does not make much? Even a little more is a good thing. And if it helps your mental health, he should be more supportive.
How long have you been with him (before you got married 4 months ago)? When and why did you quit your job?
We actually had a talk last
We actually had a talk last night about it. He does want me to work and he knows i need too. Right now hes had interviews a several different places and we are wanting to relocate out of this town. He says he just doesnt want me to find a job i really like then have yo quit bc we are moving and that hes trying to help me build my resume so he wants me to wait till we are in a stable house and town so i can work at one company for more than a few months at a time. We have been together for a little over a year, yeah we got married kinda fast but it feels like we have known each other for years, in a good way though lol. I had to quit my last job because thats where we met was at work. They found out we were dating so they said one of us had to quit so i did since he made more money than me. Ever since then iv had some trouble finding a job where i can work the hours.