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SD COMMING HOME!

jstorie's picture

So those who have kept up with my blog, my step daughter got kicked out of her aunts house. She stole and lied and manipulated all like she does at home. My husbands father died last week and so its all really really bad timing.
Now she will be comming back home. we have exhausted all of our options. dhs is breathing down my back. It has only been since may9th. The day after my father in laws funeral i told my hubby i was glad that she was gone becuase on top of loosing my FIL (best guy ever) she was turning it into what i call "the (hername) show" I took care of sd14 the whole time she was home. She had everything there. IT was really a case of fresh prince of belair. I don't know what to do this child has turned my home upside down. im a bit overdramatic been a bad week already and when the husband told me i started bawling i don't want my life turned back into chaos because she can't live without drama i just barely have my 4 old broke of saying i want to kill myself. I have specific things i don't want to allow in my house anymore. 1. do not yell i want to kill myself becuase your in trouble. 2. go to class 3. no stealing. but if i say those i have no backup to do anything. what divorce my husband at a time like this? I LOVE him! he is trying he did try to find another place to live. she botched it.
she has exhausted all our options and then the counsler says treat her like shes four. well one i have a four year old and he listens better than her. 2. how can you treat a 14 year old like a four year old? shes in school! all sorts of crap. anyone else been here?

Thanks,
Julie Storie

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Living the dream girl! My SD was 14 the FIRST time she moved in with us. It lasted about 4 months and then she went running back to GBM when DH told her no to something and she gave him attitude and it got ugly. She was gone for about 8 months during which time she didn't speak to DH at all. Our house was happy, healthy and wonderful during those 8 months. Then last April SD, who was failing school because, well basically she wasn't ever going, decided she wanted to move back in with us so she could switch school districts and get herself out of her jam. At first DH said no, because we BOTH remembered how badly it went the first time. But of course SD and GBM persisted as they always do, and DH caved as he always does and he were are over a year later. SD just turned 16 and nothing has changed.

she is a lying, manipulative, entitled piece of shit. Sorry, but she is. DH and I fight all the time, have threatened divorce numerous times and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME it is because of HER. DH had some grandiose notion that if SD moved in with us and she was removed from the craziness of GBM and BM1 that he could magically "reform" her. It's just not going to happen ever. Hell, this morning a car load of teens dropped her off at the house at 7:30 in the morning. No idea where she was just strolling in from. I know DH was not happy, I saw them "talking" outside and it didn't look like happy talk, but I disengaged LONG ago and I don't ask and don't care.

Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but read my blogs, and see what you have in store for yourself. I too have a BS4 and I would love it if he never had to see SD again. she is nothing but a negative influence on him and she creates nothing but negative energy in my home. I hate every single second that she is there and it has driven a HUGE wedge between my DH and myself. DH was my absolute best friend and we never fought.. UNTIL she moved in. I get that he feels torn and between a rock and a hard place, but there comes a time when you need to say enough is enough and address the problem. But alas, my DH won't do that, he just defends her, makes excuses for her, and makes me out to be the asshole.

jstorie's picture

She has been violent but only with me. i have pinned her down in a fit to keep from hurting her two younger brothers one is small enough he doesn't know whats going on but the 4 year old is. The reason dhs is even involved is becuase she hit me and i slapped her face and i was found guilty its all just really messed up. I do know my husband has had enough with the loss of his dad and her throwing away oppurtunities.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

Your husband needs to lay down the law. Take everything away and make her earn everything back. Empty her bedroom of everything except for the bed and a dresser. Strict ground rules need to be laid down and enforced. I'm not sure what punishment would work for her though. Good luck!

Starla's picture

Been there with my SD who is now 16 years old only she didn't live with other family members. I have never slapped my SD, doesn't mean that I was never tempted to...She hurts younger kids mostly but she has tried to physically attack my mom and I, hurting my mom to the point of breaking her glasses and left her with a concussion. We can't have her reside with us, its that bad. Sad

About the only thing that showed to have an impact on her, was her dad putting her to work. Lawn mowing, washing walls, making her run, she hates exercise with a passion. Not to mention, its the only thing we could do that worked and without breaking any laws in doing so. It sucks and its hard I know! Her dad needs to clamp down on her, it only gets worse if she is allowed to get away with pulling that type of crap.

Stay strong, I'm sorry for all that your going through.