Sick & Tired
I have a question? Is it possible to love your husband but not like his kids. Its been two years and we have had some OK moments but for the most part I just don't like the ungrateful brats. Can you not like someone but as Christian I am suppose to love them. I'm just not feeling it. Anybody feel the same way?
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That's right! I struggled
That's right! I struggled with this love thing for a long time. I felt guilty about I can't force it and Im beginning to comes to terms with it. When your true to self it makes living a whole lot easier.
Very true. I think for me it
Very true. I think for me it was a lot of things that came into play My husband is not American and the SS kids immigrated to America from there home country. So there I was Ms Fix It. Trying to make there life happy in America and trying to love them. Well I've learned the hard way love is not forced. I'm tolerating them at this moment. The oldest one is off to college next month thank God
Of course it's possible. Many
Of course it's possible. Many many people can't stand their inlaws. Same thing. They are all different people with individual personalities and behavior. If we went around trying to like everyone we think we're supposed to like, we'd never get anything else done.
I totally agree with you..
I totally agree with you.. funny thing is I don't think my feelings will change too much damage has been done
Its days like this when I'm so glad I have at least one child of my own. These brats are the rudest and most ungrateful things on this earth
It helps a lot. This is such
It helps a lot. This is such a great support. Your comments helped to free my mind lol
Should have read this before
Should have read this before making my own post. You said it better!
OMG this is exactly how I
OMG this is exactly how I feel Oldest SD leaves for college next month on the 20 I am soooo happy she is leaving. Her personality distrubs our entire family. When she is around she just so mean. I dare not leave my baby around her... she says he doesn't like me he crys when I try to hold him. I'm like yea his spirit is pure and your full off the exact opposite
I love my DH but the two SDs
I love my DH but the two SDs have really become a thorn in my side. I care for them, in a responsible way, but I don't have that bond. It's a shame because SDstb13 and I were joined at the hip for the past year. Now that she's hit puberty and become difficult, well I'm just not feeling it. She's turning into the same person her SD19 is. I have struggled with guilty feelings.....I'm learning to deal with how I feel right now. Ugh. It's been tough letting them go some....
~ Moon
Don't feel guilty I felt
Don't feel guilty
I felt guilty for a long time it started taking a toll on my health and marriage
These braats don't realize how blessed they are. Maybe one day they will. If not do the best that you can and leave the rest to whomever
We will never be appreciated in the way that we deserve. So I salute you job well done you rock and so do I
Yes, it’s entirely possible.
Yes, it’s entirely possible. I have never wanted kids, but have a SD12 and a SS8. DH and I have been married almost four years. The kids and I get along and they respect me, but I can’t say that I love them. Even though we have a good relationship, they annoy me with their constant need for entertainment and thinking they always need to go somewhere to do something. I am sick of hearing, “What are we going to do?” all the time. It’s exhausting and I’m beyond over it. DH splits custody 50/50 with his ex-wife, so half of my life is spent counting down the hours until they go back to their mom’s house.
^^^^So this... I count down
^^^^So this... I count down the time they go back to their mom's house.
I didn't really like or dislike my DH's kids. They were just a constant reminder of Crazo. After 5 years, I do love them. Do I love them like my own biod, no. Do I love them like my 3 God Children....no. But I do love them.
Your description says it all, they are bratt's.
Don't expect to love them, just try to have a two way respected relationship.
By the way they are still a constant reminder of Crazo. Because when they come her drama starts, and the truth is...I would rather have my DH and our kid free life that is amazing when they are not with us.
Thanks for your insight and
Thanks for your insight and respect is a two way street.
You know, the only reference
You know, the only reference to stepkids I can find in the Bible is Sarah with Abraham's son, Ishmael. Sarah didn't get along with Ishmael or Ishmael's BM so she wanted Abraham to cast them out. Abraham prayed about it and GOD told him to do as Sarah asked.
I know this might rock a lot of religious boats, but it seems to me that God says that a man is supposed to put his wife's happiness above his child's.
Just my thoughts on the matter...
^^amen^^ and to add also,
^^amen^^
and to add also, remeber we're supposed to love our enemies. it's a different kind of love, unfortunately the english language only has one word for it, whereas greek (new testament) had four words, for four different types of love.
i love my husband in a romantic way. i love my skids in a familial-type way (like how u'd love a favorite cousin). but it wasnt always that way. i loved my skids from the start in a principled way, this is also the way you love your enemies. it's based on inner moral principles, NOT affection. i treated them accordingly, and then the 'family'-type, affectionate love followed in due time.
yeah you can love your husband, and not feel affection for his children- two totally different emotions. but i would hope you would cultivate a principled love for them.
depending on how involved in your christianity you are, you might enjoy researching the differences between Agape and Philia.
Amem Amen Amen. Your comment
Amem Amen Amen. Your comment didn't rock my boat it was right on time funny thing is within the past month DH has seen the light he recognizes that they are manipulative brats and we DH and I have been sticking together more than ever and its eatting them up lol
Matthew 1:24-25 ESV When
Matthew 1:24-25 ESV
When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Pretty sure Jesus is the ultimate step-kid.
^^^^True, true... Should have
^^^^True, true...
Should have said the only reference to a stepMOTHER lol, cause that's what I was looking for. Do you all know of any other references to stepmothers in the Bible? Would love to have more insight into this.
Yes, that's what I was saying
Yes, that's what I was saying in my earlier comment. God told Abraham to go ahead and make Ishmael and his BM leave because that's what his WIFE wanted.
Loving people does NOT mean
Loving people does NOT mean accepting their poor behavior. I've noticed that many Christians interpret the bible wrongly because they 1) don't read it or 2) are taught by the same people that Jesus himself condemned --- the ever-so-pious religious leaders. How can one live righteously without refusing to love (the action) those things or people who are dishonest, corrupt and downright evil? This tolerance of evil is not biblical, yet priests and pastors of today want us to "turn the other cheek" when it comes to these impure things. Anyway, it's unnatural to love your stepkids --- to love ANYONE --- if their behavior is unpleasant, and you should not feel one tiny shred guilt about that.
Love has many guises. I think
Love has many guises. I think people often think it's just about feelings. Love is also a 'doing' word. If you do things for someone, help them when they need it etc, that's love.
I totally agree Love is
I totally agree Love is action word to me show me better than telling me