When I come on here I get angry.
When I come on this site because I'm having such a hard time with this step mom crap and I see all the stepmoms on here that have to put up with so much garbage it make's me get mad. I haven't been posting a lot only when something comes up that makes me upset. But I do come on and read almost everyday or when I can. We are stepmoms I didn't know being a stepmom was going to be so much bullshit.
I may not be well educated like a lot of you are but I do have feelings and I'm tired of them being trampled on by my husband and his perfect little LIARS.
My husbands kids range from 30 on up. 2 of them are drug addicts. On and off for as long as I have been married. They lie, steal, play the poor me because they lost there mom. Please don't get me wrong I'm sorry they lost there mom. But that's always there excuse. I got on the computer and have seen both of there arrest records. They have been getting into trouble long before there mom passed. My husbands step daughter and her husband are such phatic jerks they have made my life a living hell from the first week I met them.
What brings me here tonight is, I haven't seen the step daughter and her husband for maybe over a year could be longer. For almost 6 years I have had to listen to there garbage and each time they came here it was crap but I always told myself ok let this be a new start. But bam it's back to the same old shit. Lying and just a bunch of crap and my husband says they don't lie my ass. They lie more than anyone I know. So anyways I'm sitting on the couch and my husbands says to me think I will invite the kids up for a weekend I felt like someone punched me in my stomach. I then said well if you do you will be here. he didn't say anything. its been so nice not having them around because I don't have to deal with there CRAP. My youngest step daughter broke into the house she is doing drugs. She has done some pretty rotten things to me but I still do love her. She is having to go to court and I found out that her step sister and her husband are having to go to court to testify against her. So I said to my husband I hope he goes to make sure that people are being honest. He said they are honest and I said oh no there not he got in my face and said yes they are and I said no they are not they lie and I know for a fact because they have been doing it to me since I came into this family. He got mad and said if you don't like it to bad. I got so mad on the inside I was ready to pack it up. He thinks his step daughter and her husband walk on water , that they are so perfect. He told me his kids problems are because of me. I said your kids had these problems long before I came along. I have disengaged from this mess some what it least I really do try to be honest sometimes I think my husband does this on purpose. sorry this is so long. and as always thank you for hearing me out.
Hi first please don't put
Hi first please don't put yourself down we are all equals, when you are being bullied by step kids and oh it makes you feel this way. I so know how you feel, when they haven't been around for a while its heaven . I have felt that punch in my stomach feeling many times its really awful and in your heart you are devastated.
Your steps are horrid sorry I don't even know them but they are using there Mothers passing as an excuse that's disgusting and how dare your oh say its your fault there bloody adults and horrid ones at that, try to get on with your own life and go out when they come over, better still tell your oh to meet them else where . I have spent many an hour upstairs, it was my sanctuary, books tv head phones so I could hear the very loud laughter, Im not saying walk away from your oh as I cant either just distance yourself. He will be resentful to you and lash out because he has failed not you
Its just sad Dazed123 I love
Its just sad Dazed123 I love him and to me if he loved me he should have put his foot down and told them if they don't like me that's fine but if you come here you have to show her respect. He has never done that he think's I'm lying but I'm not. Shame on him. I don't talk to his kid's He can deal with it. He created it not me.
Educated or not there are
Educated or not there are basic behavioral things anyone will take exception to. You very clearly state your issues and the response your DH has. This is his problem not yours and as he has tolerated this toxic crap from his spawn and step daughter at this point it is entirely his fault.
IMHO of course.
Take care of yourself.
Well said Rags. Every one,
Well said Rags. Every one, even we "evil" stepmoms, have the right to be treated respectfully. IMHO, if they don't like me, that's fine; just treat me with respect and the courtesy you treat other people with.
Like I once said to my DH, when I was in tears because of his Twit, she wouldn't treat her friends like this because if she did she would have none.
And, if my own daughter ever acted nasty with me, like Twit does, I would certainly set her straight or cut her off.
Nora ~ my heart goes out to
Nora ~ my heart goes out to you !!
In the beginning of my relationship w my fiancé ~ I was trying to prepare myself with him answering all the "what if" questions ~ he said to me of darling SD didn't like how things were in our house she could go elsewhere.
He told me that she was his #1 ~ but after a year of constant shenanigans my nerves got worn down my patience thin. This child was the epidomy of veruca salt gone wild. With sneaking out, doing drugs, lying through her teeth , manipulation. Either my fiancé is the dumbest person who blinded my his child. He was Mr Magoo could see shit until she ~ it was her bday n she had many gifts mailed her ~ she called him n asked him to met down the street n bring her presents. He told her NO you want them come her ~ she came over n destroyed my daughters bedroom on a rampage she collected all her belongings n left. I was not home when this happened n when I did come home he was sitting in the dark. WTF ??? At that moment he finally realized what she is capable of ~ n I think he realized I just can't have that in my home w my children. My kids need a calm safe environment n she can't be so selfish my world doesn't not pivot on her.
Now I haven't seen her in 3 years n it's nice. They are older n you don't have to have them in your home. ~ he could go some place else with them.
This is MY home not hers ~ if you behavior like a wild animal you aren't welcome in my home. I could careless over her reason ~ use your words veruca. I don't have to be in your life nor do you in mine. She has broken her fathers heart n spirit ~ but that was her doing. If your angry with someone explain don't mask your problem so badly. You look like your crazy ~ if you felt that Daddy wasn't spending enough time with you first open your mouth. I think her problem is that she misses her father but not enough to actually spend time with him. So to me ~ you don't miss him. What my kids would do to spend just 5 minutes with their father. !!
i marrried whilet the skids
i marrried whilet the skids were still in preschool. i had no idea what stepmothering was all about. i was a school teacher and understood children. i never knew skids would turn into mini wives by the time they hit their teens and expected their father to chose them over his wife.
He will defend his children
He will defend his children despite any evidence you present to the contrary. Quit trying. It's not your purpose in life to convince him his kids are worthless. As you hinted if his kids show up you simply make it a point to not be there. Harden your heart if necessary to the one you love or she'll use that weakness against you if she's still an addict.
Below is a link to a article on disengaging which you should find useful. It's just as valid for use in protecting yourself from adult step-children as it is kids.
http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html
Nora, you have to be strong
Nora, you have to be strong for yourself and your sanity. Battling with DH about his kids and their honestly is futile. Don't argue with him anymore. Do not sacrifice the sanctity of your home by leaving so they can visit. Would you allow anyone else in your home who had drug problems and stole from you? Tell him to see them elsewhere.