I would go and make sure the waiter splits the check so SD can pay for her own. }:) 19yo single dead assed broke breeders get no help from parents IMHO. If they are adult enough to spread their legs or take the reproductive plunge without birth control they are old enough to bear the consequences for thinking that they are adults.

Let her starve and freeze. If I were you and she were my Skid she would have zero access to one penny of my marital income and her daddy would have that message firmly applied to his ass by my boot.

Good luck.

I think you said "she is going to keep this one"? Does this mean that she's given other babies up for adoption or had abortions? I only ask because my SD had 4 abortions before she decided to "keep this one". I don't want to start an abortion debate but it's hard to fathom that SD couldn't figure out how babies are made and use protection (you know what I mean?). Anyway, it sounds like your SD has her hooks deep into daddy. My DH used to do the "let's go out to lunch" routine which translated to: princess picks out extravagant restaurant of her choice, stuffs her face with the most expensive items on the menu to be followed by a shopping spree afterwards; disgusting. She would hate it when I came. When she decided that I couldn't go then daddy would make his little lunch date and tell me at the last minute as he knew I would get annoyed. He knew days ahead of time that he wasn't going to spend a Saturday or Sunday with me but didn't have the balls to tell me when he made his little princess lunch and shopping date. She lived an hour away so there goes the whole day, DH would finally come back 6 hours later and didn't have any energy to hang out with me. I look forward to our time together and this hurt my feelings. It was like he had a mistress and I ended up resenting him for this.
I really feel for you. I know how the story goes. Hopefully your DH will get smart the way mine did and cut this brat off. She's the one that's making the bad decision to have a baby when she can't take care of the kid herself. If your DH keeps it up, she might go for baby #2 and #3 to ensure that the money keeps flowing. My SD tried this tactic but had a miscarriage; I do feel bad for her about that.
I hope she doesn't use the gskid as a weapon but I think the writing is on the wall. It's sad when these kids get pregnant and their parents are on the hook for it. Her bad decision, her problem but these guilty daddies will never see it like this.

He's acting like the dad of the baby. Normally I'd be saying keep well out of this and disengage but, this is so far gone there's nothing to lose by rolling up your sleeves and plunging fully into battle mode. I'd go further than separate the money. I'd attend absolutely every one of these meals and steer the conversations on what her plans are, what's she doing to get csa from the baby father, what's she doing for contraception now etc etc etc. Spoil the romantic atmosphere. Keep talking about responsibility. The other restaurant goers will assume they are a couple and they would appear to be about to bask in that. They have to get out of cloud cuckoo land if they want your respect. Regarding the money he pays her, that's fine if your finances are separate. But you want an end to the other treats or at least that they are not treats but brainstorming sessions to help her grow up and parent her kid.

If DH is using your joint account to fund SD's parasite lifestyle, separate the finances immediately. Do not give her a penny. Only contribute to 1/2 of the household expenses. Let DH pay for her - AFTER he contributes his half of the house expenses.

Ugh, It was 13 years ago when my sd31 pulled the baby card out on us. We made it very clear this was her baby not ours. Oh when a baby is involved the shih hits the fan. She showed up at our house when baby was about 3 weeks old and stated her bf was arrested, his mother was pissed, and now she had to leave. Ha! Not into my house. I told dh the baby could stay but she had to go! She asked for a ride to her bm's with infant in tow. DH dropped her off at bm's studio apartment. I have NEVER asked what happened after that because I really didn't care. We take sgd for 2cweeks every summer. She is 13 so hopefully this will be the last year she will want to visit. Also sgd13 begs for crap every single day. Last summer she told us her mom was broke but sd31 promised this kid we would buy all her back to school clothes and supplies. That didn't happen.

My husband does the same his step daughter is his mini wife. He tell's her everything, and I mean everything. One time we went on the river and well we had sex , he called and told her about it. Now why is that any of her business.

Ask him if he's having sex with his daughter because she is getting treated like the mistress while you, his faithful and hard working wife, get stuck with meager scraps.

My DH better not be secretive and lie about ANY other woman...including his daughter!