I lovemypisces's picture

Need help writing bm a letter a legal letter.

Fdh and I need advice great advice. We are trying something that probably won't work but if it saves us going to court that Amen. Please help us word this email, our attorney is on vacation for two weeks and we want this ball rolling.

Bm was over 30 days late on the mortgage in June. In march, April, and May, she had late pAyments which means she was supposed to pay buy the 16th of the month and she did not so she got dinged. So as you can tell her bm has money issues. Now I will get into backstory.

Last year fdh took her to court because she has the house in foreclosure. She did not make one payment in 6 months. Fdh fault to take over house she fault to keep house since her family gave them the land when they were married and her daddy lives next door. Judge let her stay with strict stipulations..... Of course he did.

1. Fdh to be off mortgage by dec 1 2014

2. She is to pay the mortgage in a timely fashion if not the house after a hearing will immediately up for sale

3. Or fdh will take over home. And can sell or keep after hearing.

It clearly says that if she doesn't pay the house it either goes up for sale or fdh will assume the house.
This is where we need help with the wording. The plan is is that we send her an email stating.......

' that fdh is well aware that she missed a payment in June. Too avoid court, fdh is willing to give her 30 days to get his name off the mortgage. If his isn't off the house in 30 days or another late payment or missed payment is assessed this deal is of the table. Fdh is doing this because once we go to court the judge will order the house immediately up for sale. '

We know at this point she can not get a refinance but she might be able to get a co sign or sell to her dad. And guess what not our problem. Pay your bills.

So help us word this out so she will get fdh off the mortgage. We have been debating for two days about this. Remember this bm is pure high conflict. I have a feeling she will just send a nasty note back. Meh then we tried. She instead of paying the mortgage in putting ss10 in braces next week.

tog's picture

BM, Per the judge's orders,


Per the judge's orders, if you do not keep up with the mortgage, the house will be put up for sale or turned over to me after a hearing. I am aware that you missed the mortgage payment in June. I will be filing for a court hearing; however, if you are able to remove my name from the mortgage before the court date, I will revoke my petition.


Can you get a hearing in 30 days? If so, I really would file, so she gets served and knows that you mean business. Make it short and sweet, just the facts.

HRNYC's picture

You can write whatever you

You can write whatever you want, but I suspect it is going to court.

fightincrazytrain's picture

I would copy the CO with the

I would copy the CO with the language about the mortgage and include it in your letter. Keep it to the facts of the case, make it look like you sent one to your lawyer,(add a CC below the signature with initials) and send it so you know she got it. (registered, certified, whatever it is)

Basically you need to tell her facts, prove them with the CO and remind her of the consequences of not following the CO. That's all you need to do.


Be careful who you start dating. A lot of aren't looking for love, they are looking for help!

BM, I hear they are naming a new paint color after you. It's called Whore Red. Not very bright, but it's cheap and it spreads easy.

I am afraid of a w

step off already's picture

Well one thing to keep in

Well one thing to keep in mind is that even if the judge orders that the house belongs to dh, bm will still have tenant rights. So if dh attempts to sell, she could still live there, making the home difficult to show and sell. Alternately, he could go through the extensive (up to 9o+ day) eviction process and would have to pay the mortgage at that time and work with the bank on a modification, etc to ensure they do not foreclose. If he does not have the assets, they may not work with him.

Best bet all around is to try and be civil and "help" each other. Maybe help her I to a new rental home so dh can take over the house?


The Brady Bunch tricked us all

taushalove's picture

Oh her BM is psychotic, no

Oh her BM is psychotic, no working with this lady. Good advice though! She would have tenants rights and that can bring up a whole other set of issues.

I lovemypisces's picture

Yikes I will keep that in

Yikes I will keep that in mind.


With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine.

Ponygirl's picture

The problem is that you can't

The problem is that you can't just "remove" a name from a mortgage, it's not like a bank account, it's a contract and he's still obligated to what he signed. It's my understanding that the contract would have to be satisfied and a new one negotiated in it's place without your DH's name on it (in other words, BM would have to "buy" the house from herself and your DH, which means she'd have to qualify to refinance the house on her own.) Or it gets sold to another party. That's been my experience.


Don't sell your saddle. --anonymous

I lovemypisces's picture

She is so freaking cryptic

She is so freaking cryptic that we have no idea what she is doing nor does fdh have a right to know?


With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine.

dtzyblnd's picture

Well, that's the BM's

Well, that's the BM's problem. Her DH does have the Court Order, and all he has to do honestly, is go take that to the lender, because essentially, that court order has limited DH's obligations if he chooses not to retain ownership of the home himself. If BM can't refi, then she sells. That's the reality of divorce! She wanted that, she got it, and now she has to deal with the albatross around her neck.

It maybe frustrating for your DH to have this debt still sitting on his credit report. But, if it's dragging his credit down, he can contact the credit bureaus, with his CO and file to have a flag put on his so that what she does, doesn't hurt his credit.


Stephen King has ruined your step children!
And I'm the reason some women don't have babies!

aswang's picture

If the judge wrote those

If the judge wrote those points, then points 1 & 2 are "hold harmless" clauses. Meaning this is to avoid any harm being done to DH. Since BM is not paying in a timely manner, that means she is ruining his credit---causing him harm. And because she is not following court decree, she is in contempt of court.

Personally, I would not take my name off the mortgage at this point. I would get my lawyer to take her to court for contempt & clearly the order stated that DH can take the home & sell it, which he should do. You need to discuss with your lawyer, if it is correct that DH will be the "sole" owner. Then ask your lawyer, upon sale of home, if BM is entitled to any profits or it's all the sole owner's (DHs) profit.


Who let the skids out of the crate?!

I lovemypisces's picture

Good point and good advice. I

Good point and good advice. I know due to the house being in foreclosure she racked up more money onto the house so the house is underwater big time. No equity in that house. I think she should be responsible for any debt left if there is a short sale or anything like that.


With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine.

HRNYC's picture

If it weren't for the back

If it weren't for the back story (with abuse, Derf, etc.), I might feel sorry for her, especially given her parents kicked in the land. DH should be concerned that she may just rack up liens, etc. and if the house is not already underwater, it will become so. I don't understand how she refinanced (to get partial loan forgiveness) without DH's signature. Whatever. If her parents have money, DH may want to contact them, with a brief letter explaining facts, suggesting they may want to see if they can help resolve this. They may not know she is on verge of losing the house. I am not a big tattle tale person, but if she is just hiding her head in the sand, maybe her parents would look for a resolution.

I lovemypisces's picture

Not a pretty story with her

Not a pretty story with her parents and fdh. When you have a bm that still sits on her daddy's lap and he still swats his daughter's butt you can figure out how bm got to be how she is. He has bailed her out plenty of times so he probably will be the co signer. Her daddy has written an email to fdh about 6 months ago accusing him of physically abusing his daughter ( seriously!!!) he stated that he hopes that fdh's daughter doesn't marry a guy like fdh. The judge ordered fdh to go along with the loan modification process ( sign whatever he had to sign ) last year so she could get the mortgage lower and the start to repair her credit.


With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine.

mysocalledlyfe's picture

You need to do a Quit Claim

You need to do a Quit Claim Deed now & get his name off the house. Let her deal with her own mess.

dtzyblnd's picture

Ms. BM's Name (don't put

Ms. BM's Name (don't put dear),

It has come to my attention that several mortgage payments to Mortgage Lender for Property Address, City, State Zip have been late. Specifically, mortgage payments for March, April, and May 2014 were paid on the following dates: March, XX, 2014, April XX 2014, and May 2014. In addition, the mortgage payment for June 2014 was paid on July X, 2014, over 30 days past the due dates. As you are aware, mortgage payments are due on the 16th of every month.

Per Court Order Number, dated Month, Day, Year, you were ordered to make timely payments for Property Address, City, State, Zip. If you did not comply with the timely payments, then the court decided that either the property was to be put up for sale and/or reverted back to me after a hearing.

Due to the lack of timely payments, which have violated the Court Order listed above, I am notifying you of my intentions to petition the court for a hearing on the violation of the court order.

If you would like to retain the property, I would be more than happy to work with you on that, forgoing the need to take this matter before the judge and have the hearing. If that is something that you would like to mutually agree upon, then I respectfully request that my name be taken off the deed and the loan w/in the next 30 days. If you disagree or do not release me as a party to the loan/deed, then I will immediately file with the courts to have the hearing.

Please respond to me, in writing, within 7 calendar days with your decision.

DH's Name
DH's address


Stephen King has ruined your step children!
And I'm the reason some women don't have babies!