Letter from the schoolSubmitted by tiny kitten on Sat, 07/19/2014 - 2:26am
All right! First blog post. First off, a little background.
My SO and I will be 25 later this year. BM will be 26.
SO was 17.25 when SD7 was born. He married BM a few months before he turned 18, and BM insisted that they go in with her mother to buy a house in a crappy housing market. At the time they were living in the eastern states of Australia.
The marriage didn't last long, about a year. She cheated on him from the beginning. Never wanted to marry him, really. Never wanted to be a mother, just thought that it made her "cool." Like smoking, I guess.
Anyway. So after about a year, BM kicked him out of the house they'd bought with BM's mother (herein referred to as MGM- maternal grandmother.) SO moved out, was studying, and working- sending money to care for his daughter. Not long after that, MGM insisted that SO move back in, as she was sick of playing mummy to SD while BM sat on her arse and played computer games, completely ignoring her child.
So SO moved back in, but he and BM weren't in a relationship.
Around the time SD turned two, BM signed over custody to SO, and left the state to shack up with someone. SO never wanted to be in the eastern states, he just followed BM so he could be with his child. So he got some legal advice, and was told that because BM left the state they were in, and abandoned her child, giving him full custody, he was legally able to return to Western Australia, where he was born and raised. So he did.
Eventually, BM came to WA too. She got visitation. A few months before SD turned five, I came into the picture. SO and I have been together for 2.5 years, living together for one.
Last year, BM got what she wanted- 50/50 custody. She's never worked a day in her life, just abuses the system, and wanted 50/50 for the money.
We began a week on/week off schedule around January, just before SD7 started year two at primary school. She's just finished her first semester.
So now to the title of this post. SO wants to go back to court and get the 50/50 reversed. He wants to have it switched to 9 days with us/ 5 with BM- 5 for BM being at the very most. SD7 isn't coping.
We've been keeping in touch with her teacher because we've been concerned about her. The teacher has said that she's noticed some anxiety on BM's weeks, as well as her being emotional. Her report card is nowhere near as good as it was last year, when SO had primary care. She was 'High' and 'Satisfactory' in every area last year. This year, she's down to only 'Satisfactory' with a handful of 'Limiteds' thrown in.
BM rarely does any reading with SD on her weeks, not even her homework. And she's constantly missing days for no reason, including at least two occasions when BM took her ice-skating forty-five minutes away, rather than school, ten minutes away.
She tells SD horrible things like SO's family isn't her real family, that only BM's family is her real family (and SD is DEFINITELY SO's daughter). Of course she also tells SD that she 'had a fight with Aunty AlsoASlut, I never want to speak to her, we'll never see her again.'
So she doesn't care about SD7's emotional needs. Doesn't care about her educational needs. Doesn't care about setting a good example for her. Just wants the money and to make SO miserable.
On top of the evidence of her being a massive bitch, and the falling grades, the comments from the teacher (written in black and white) that SD is often overly emotional and anxious, we also got a letter from the deputy principal.
"SD has less than 90% attendance. Poor attendance is not good for a child's emotional or educational well-being. She is deemed as being 'indicated at risk'."
Things are just falling into our laps right now. We've also requested a copy of ALL of SD's absences, to prove that 90% of them fall on her mother's weeks.
If the family courts here actually give a damn about the child's wellbeing, as opposed to the parents' rights to screw them up, then we're just about ready to file.
So that's that. Sorry for the length, and congratulations if you made it this far