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short update

StepLady's picture

Sad Well, I have not posted since we found out about the incident that involved SD and her much older cousin at BM's home. I did get support and advice here so I wanted to just let you know what has happened since then......nothing! We have been before the courts once since then, asking for an emergency change in custody so the kids can stay with us. Nothing happened! BM's nephew was ordered not to contact SD or us. He is a kid! He can NOT drive and lives far from us and BM as well. We were told that he is not a threat to SD since he lives so far away and BMS mom should be safe since the child will no longer be over there! I am sad and sick over this! I cry about his a lot and I hurt for poor little SD and my husband! BM feels that we were wrong to involved police who did NOT come to court, due to the officer involved being out of town. The social worker did not have his investigation done, he has been given more time, but was told to show up at court next time. We have had a private counselor in our home to talk to all the kids, and to work with SD. We did find out that SD did have all of her clothing on, and that is all I will share about that matter. SD and SS will remain in BM's home for now. We have also been told that social worker from county has not YET been out to BM's home. BM has texted us that the case was closed and no further action was going to be taken regarding the matter. We have been told they will investigate BM and family soon, and they will show up at next court hearing and so will police. No one is sharing anything with anyone else for now. We have also been told that BM and her loser husband continue to fight in front of kids, blames kids for their fights, and bring up unrelated issues regarding kids during their fights. The adults in that home are acting totally ugly all the time and no one seems to have a care about yet. So depressing and disappointing.

In other unrelated matters, BM continues to call home phones and each of our cells as well as text and email when kids are with us for their extended summer holidays/visits. We ignore it all and share with court contacts. She is permitted to talk to kids once a day, each! Not call until they answer! We will decided when they return her calls as they are disruptive and annoying to kids. There are days when they call her at Ten AM because they want to, and there are days that we go to water parks etc, there for they do not call her back until they are back home and ready for bed. There is nothing in the CO that says we need to respond to her more than once daily and what times etc. This has been explained to her many many many times. Kids are still expressing her desires to know what is going on at our home all the time and ask strange questions about our home, our other kids, and our finances and plans etc. This is all inappropriate on her part! But she has no care about that!

Kids express desires to not go to BMS home, they do express that they want to remain here with us. We do believe they feel this way sincerely but do understand and accept that there are kids who play both sides and enjoy that type of thing. So we do not expect courts to care about that nonsense.

They are both severely overweight right now to the point they do not want to play outside unless it involves swimming. They do not want to hike ever, riding bikes is not something they will do, they will not even use chalk outside while sitting etc. They sweat a lot and want soda all the time. They have also been taught by BM that when it is hot they should drink sports drink all day long as much as they want. That is not true! Water is best all day with milk at meals and sports drinks if you are swimming or hiking etc would be ok. They want to snack all day as they are raised by someone who lives that way. That is fine eat all day long if you need too! But they are to eat from pre made snack trays I make up, not gorge in the pantry every five minutes. I do make sure I have a wide variety of healthy and tasty snacks daily! I put out good cheese and meats mid day with some grains, evening snack is all kinds of washed and sliced fruits for summer, and the mid morning snack is veggies and dips, with some grains then too. I see nothing wrong with this! We have looked over their medical records and have seen that drs have told BM they need to eat well and lose the weight! She never listens! Isn't that wrong to ignore dr's orders? What can be done? My ss has not seen his glasses in months! Literally! So gross to me! Also SD was invited by her DR to take part in a summer program for obese kids, mom refused, but complains that we do not take her to her library on her side of town, in the ghetto! We go to a library near us where we do not send books or materials home to BMS, since we are responsible for them! We don't have cards in the kid's since we do not want BM to borrow dvds etc and lose them you see?

We are scratching our heads when it comes to this mess and crying often. My Sks deserve so much better! Just like any poor kid. That is all I would like to share for now.