I could be overreacting...or NOT...
So I was a member of this board about a year ago. I left my situation but like a dumb ass, I'm BACK.
Nutshell summary: I was dating a "great guy" who had a son but hadn't seen him in months. Things were AMAZING. CPS swooped in and took their child and gave them to my BF. The kid had serious issues from the jump. I left the situation because he refused to get help. He eventually wised up and got help for the son. I saw that as a sign of progression so therefore, we are back together.
Fast forward a year: The son was diagnosed with ADHD and started off with 18 mg of Concerta. BF thought that was fine. I disagreed. We went to a different doctor who SURE ENOUGH said that for a 5 year old who was weighing 60-something pounds - he should at least be on 27 mg. YAYYY! BF went along with it. The medicine wears off at around 4:30 p.m. When this child is NOT on medicine - I literally can NOT handle him. CAN NOT.
Lately, he has been lying about the most asinine things. As soon as BF leaves me alone with SS6 to run an errand, "My Dad said I could have this or that." "I haven't eaten at all today." "Yes, I took my medicine."
I bring it up to BF and he tells me, "well just call him out on it." Is that enough? Just to say "I know you're lying."?? There are no repercussions for it so he is just going to keep doing it!
BF wants us to all (myself, BS9 and them) to take a group family trip together in December. I am SO afraid. I have found myself in my room watching tv or reading a book with it's the 3 of us in the house (BS9 has had a busy summer going to camps and visiting with his father and wonderful - literally - stepmother).
I truly feel as if this child should be on a second dose after 4. But is that wrong of me to want just because it would make ME feel better or make ME feel like he is easier to handle? I have TRIED to spend time with him to "bond". I got us front row circus seats for a fun time with him and BS9. I took them out to eat at Outback afterwards where SS6 picked butter up with his hands and tried to skip around the restaurant. I just am at a loss.
As most of you must feel - when it's just BF and myself or BF, myself and BS9 - things are great. Sigh. I know I either have to adapt to this or leave - but its SO difficult.
As a survivor of a severely
As a survivor of a severely ADHD kid (my ex's first born) my advise is to leave.
Start a family of your own with a childless man. Don't throw away your life for this kid.
Stop eating processed foods which I believe has brought on this mess. Hope for the best for your own children.
Actually, he WAS lying. He
Actually, he WAS lying. He had eaten three times that day. When I talked to his father, he let me know what happened. And making meals together is a no go. He can't be still long enough. Tried that. Brought him to the children's museum. He tried to take a portrait down and kicked another child and started screaming at people.
The doctor mentioned another medication that was time released but "stronger". BF wasn't going for it though.
I agree about the consistency and communication. It just seems that the things I notice don't seem to be a big deal to BF. The constant lying for instance. The only time SS6 has gotten in trouble for lying was when BM called to say that he had been cursing ppl out during his visitation there. When BF asked SS6 about it, he lied and said he was never in any trouble, never cursed and the only time he had to sit out of playtime was then he got tired.
Thank you, Orange County. I'm coming to this conclusion myself. It's just so sad.
Good suggestion about the
Good suggestion about the movie watching and park time. I'm going to watch one of his favorite movies with him tonight and be the one to read his nighttime book.