Right Now I am Just Shaking and Crying. Enough Twit is just Enough!
So, Twit went on vacation and we did not agree to take care of her dogs. Today DH went fishing with some of his friends and while he was gone our phone was ringing off the hook and Twit was leaving messages. Seems she hasn't been able to get ahold of Drunkie yesterday or today and wants DH to go down and check and bring the dogs back to our house.
Of course I saw her name on ID and just ignored it and listened to message, then the next one, then the next one. Then she was calling both my land line and cell phone and that is when I picked up and told her, not too politely: "What the hell do you want" She started in about her dogs and I just hung up. Not my problem.
So, the harassment kept up with the phone all morning. Once she left a message telling me she is going to sue me if anything happens to her dogs because DH doesn't go down there! I finally disconnected the phone etc. just for peace and quiet!
Hell, let her call her husband's sister to go and check them out, or her other son who lives about 50 miles away, let him run his butt around for her dogs. She even has one son that lives in the next town and only works PART TIME in a grocery store, let her get ahold of him and run his arse off about her dogs.
I should have erased the messages before DH came back because he feels for the dogs. I reminded him she has sons who can take care of them rather than having him running back and forth. DH had accidentally left his cell at home (which I think was a lucky thing) so he didn't see all those frantic messages from her on his cell and on our answering machine until he got back at about 5.
Me, I'm shaking. Especially after the threat that if we don't do what she needs because SHE IS ON VACATION and something happens to her animals it is our fault and she is going to SUE US. What an ass this Twit is.
Like I've suggested before,
Like I've suggested before, twit should board her animals. They are like kids; if you can't or don't want to make sacrifices for them and/or
can't take responsibility for them than don't have any. Plain and simple. Twit is losing it. Sounds like she is getting crazier by the hour. She cannot sue you if her dogs get sick, hurt or die. After all, she's the one that should know all about animal cruelty. You know, keeping that poor dog alive when he was suffering and allowing the other dog to chase and kill chickens. Twit is a horses ass and a big one at that! If she wanted to sue your DH for not running over to her place to take card of her dogs, she would have to prove that your DH was negligent reguarding their care. Since DH never agreed to take care of the dogs then there was no contract between them and he can't be found negligent for care he never agreed to give/do. I think twit left knowing that she was going to call DH and ask him to check on the dogs. She knew this and set it up with the hopes that DH would think "oh, twit made arrangements and the people who are supposed to care for the dogs flaked". I bet you anything this is what she planned. I say GOOD, let her sue you. The judge might order a psych eval. Twit is a nut case and no judge would even entertain her claim that her father was negligent. This is absurd and non-sensical.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES^^^^^^^^^^^^
brilliant advice by dtzyblnd
Call animal control or the humane society.
I would. Poor dogs
SDM you do NOT deserve all
SDM you do NOT deserve all this shite. Twit is one sick f*****, but now I am worried about those dogs. Please do not be angry at DH if he checks on them - he will be doing it for them and NOT for the heartless bitch. I only hope that he truly sees what a wicked , selfish user she really is. Maybe this will be the straw that broke the camels back for him. I agree with others, you need to move far away from her if you are ever going to have any peace in your life. Don't wait until its too late xxxx
I have been through the
I have been through the ringer today. It is the day my Mother passed away 8 years ago and can still be a tough time for me as I miss her. So this Twit Sh*t has gotten to me.
She is going to SUE ME if something happens to her dogs. Hey, she was told before she left that we were unavailable. Obviously she is relying on Drunkie and, as she said, can't get ahold of him since Monday evening to see if he took care of the pooches. Not my problem. If she can't get a hold of him, or one of her other sons, she needs to come home NOT call us and make it OUR problem.
This is not about the dogs, it is about control, trying to keep control of DH.
I must say, DH has not gone running down there, but he is concerned for the animals. I mean, why should the animals be hurt because the owner is a Twit and her drunken bum son can't be bothered; much less she inconvenience her other son. I can tell he is thinking about this. He hasn't called her back though she is still leaving messages on his cell...the house phone is disconnected so all she gets is ringing tone and it doesn't even go to the answering machine....I don't want to hear her threats.
My guess is that DH is going to decide just to drive by and check on the animals, make sure they have water etc., but not bother to call her back or answer any of her calls. Let her worry about it. DH even said he wouldn't be surprised if drunkie has been taking care of the dogs but, as he usually does, just doesn't bother answering Twits continual texts to him.
I can say that the threat of suing us, which I pointed out to him specifically, really got his attention. Not that he thinks she can, we both know better, but just the fact that she makes such grandioso threats.
You're exactly right...this
You're exactly right...this is about control 100%. She sees that your DHs isn't falling for her shit so she's trying another, or escalated tactic. She's scrambling because she sees she's losing control of him. Why, oh why, do people have to behave like this? I mean, we've all got issues. She needs to go to a therapist and work them out like the rest of us instead of trying to ruin everyone's lives around her.
Yep, that is what he is going
Yep, that is what he is going to do. He even said that if they messed in the house he is not going to clean it up. All he wants to do is make sure the dogs are okay.
Here I thought we had actually made a mark with her, but what can I say. Hey, I can deal with a lot, but we all have days when things just get to you.
As I said, this is the anniversary of my Mother's passing and some years is tougher to deal with than others. I will always miss her.
Sorry to be a crying, blubbering mess about this. It is just the incessant calls, messages, phone ringing, threats got to me until I unplugged the phone.
Your're right, of course.
Your're right, of course. It's all about control. Twit's losing it and going into panic mode. This latest escapade will further enlighten DH to the truth of her. Think seriously about removing yourselves from her orbit. She may be his daughter, but it comes down to staying near her or your sanity - and your marriage. He needs to realise that.
And I agree about calling the animal welfare people - get her reported for leaving dogs without proper care, but I don't blame DH for checking on them - I would.
Good for your DH for checking
Good for your DH for checking out the dogs. If they are not being taken care of properly, please call animal control. GEEEZZZ! Twit is too mild of a name for this nutbag! If she calls again I would tell her you are going to sue her for harassment. It is sad she has to do all of this crap on the anniversary of your Mom's passing, but do you really think she cares one iota?
Don't apologise for crying.
Don't apologise for crying. This sounded like quite severe harassment. Remember, empty chair method. If there's caller display, turn machine volume down low when she's repeat calling or keep off hook for lengthy period. If you pick up on her by mistake, lie the receiver in a drawer and go away to do something fun. Works a treat.
fightin, it's prob not the
fightin, it's prob not the threat of sueing made him jump, but the welfare of the dogs. The threat to sue is laugable.
Well said Cat. The dogs were
Well said Cat. The dogs were definitely used as a weapon in a harassment campaign -- like the alcohol and drunkie. She knows they are your weak spot because of your compassion.
Texted her " thank
Texted her " thank you"
"Thank you for letting me know I need to call animal cruelty on you. MAKING THE CALL NOW. Enjoy your vacation."
Well, DH and I did drive down
Well, DH and I did drive down and check on the dogs. They did have food and water abiet it was obvious they had not been let out for awhile, but I am not cleaning anything up, and we did let them out in the yard for awhile.
DH did not call Twit back, nor did we leave any indication we had been there even for drunkie. He DID however text her that perhaps she needs to come home and take care of her dogs. Ha, like THAT is going to happen, she and her hubby NEED their time. NEED to get away.
We are still pondering what to do.....
Oh, in all our concern about the dogs, I left out that, and this is going to blow your mind as it blew my mind, Twit also left, as part of one of her messages, that we should take her "fine" wines out of our garage and put them in our refrigerator as the high temp in the garage these days is not good for them! Really? She can't get back to take care of her dogs, but she is worried about her booze and she wants us to clutter and fill our refrigerator with her wine! Umm, THAT isn't going to happen no way, no how.
If I was a b*tch I would have packed up the wine and other booze and dropped it off yesterday when we checked on the dogs. But, I know drunkie does have a problem and, even as angry as I am at Twit, DH and I are not going to add to enabling drunkie to get more alcholol.
I did tell DH the BOOZE goes Sunday, I am tired of tripping over boxes of booze in my garage getting in and out of my car - I have some trouble walking. If I even dreamed, which I do not, of putting the stuff in my refrigerator it would take up almost all of it! And THAT isn't going to happen.
Sorry friends, I am still shaking. Heck, I am firm on things, tough, but I am also human and have limits and feelings as well.
Hopefully today will be better.
You're still shaking? Heck,
You're still shaking? Heck, chill a nice bottle of fine wine, crack it open with hubs and drink to your freedom.
There is one bad thing. DH
There is one bad thing. DH is blaming this on drunkie, and his irresponsility rather than on Twit where I believe the blame belongs. Denial on his part? Don't know. Maybe he is just having problems realizing how bad things are with Twit, how lack of feeling and inconsiderate plus more she really is. I am no counselor, but I would think that he feels bad every time he has to deal and clean up Twit sh*t.
My bet is that Twit will be burning up his cell phone again today. Great, not only high temperatures and high humidity, but Twit nonsense as well. Sorry, I just want to cry, this is causing a lot of stress on me. DH is doing the best he can, and he IS trying, but the constant onslaught is getting to me.
I just wish I could call the guys with the nets to come and get her and get her out of my hair forever. Do they still do lobotomies? Sorry for that, just a tad bit of "humor" there on my part.
Borrow his phone and switch
Borrow his phone and switch it off for the day.
^^^ says - She has a 22 y.o.
^^^ says - She has a 22 y.o. son...or maybe 23 by now who lives there. He doesn't like to get up early in the morning to let the dogs out. So, she has to hire someone to do it.
Well, Twit is always trying that.....US, and she wants for FREE. Heaven forbid she should have to pay someone. She is super cheap but always has money to spend on herself.
I'd be drinking the fine wine
I'd be drinking the fine wine myself and finding a boarding facility for the dogs. Then drinking more of the fine wine.
Love it. Sadly, what Twit
Love it. Sadly, what Twit considers "fine wine" really isn't. We tried a few bottles as we felt we were entitled for having them up here all this time. In fact, the heat may even be an improvement.
But that is a matter of taste, I guess.
Yep, she's been a ringing DH's cell, which he has been ignoring. But, and this is our fault, this whole incident has ruined our, what was to be, relaxing holiday weekend. We are both upset, emotions up, adrenalan (sp) running, can't get into relax mode. Told DH we should go to the show this evening and see the movie "jersey boys" about the four seasons and leave the mess behind us.
Why can't the both of you
Why can't the both of you turn off your phones for a while? Maybe until Twit gets back from vacation? You've already made sure the dogs are alright (even though I would still call animal protections on her). Please turn off your phones and enjoy the weekend.
I think an unplugged weekend
I think an unplugged weekend is just the thing. Turn off all phones, all devices she might use to contact you. Do not give her the power to ruin your weekend!
I so second these ladies.
I so second these ladies. When you are being harassed even the sound of the phone ringing begins to jangle your nerves. Don't do it to yourselves. If you allow a chink in your armor, your recovery from this situation will be the slower.
Your sd is the type who will
Your sd is the type who will use ANY reason and opportunity to harass, stress and be nasty to you. They almost always inevitably, escalate their behaviour when boundaries are put in place and their tactics are slowly blocked. I sympathise with you, as sustained and continued phone calls from an unwelcome source is always upsetting imo, even more so when its a particularly sensitive date.
Our BM and my SIL used to do this and the only way I could stop the harassment was to change my number, block them as much
As possible. Seeing as your sd is not able to use your telephone number responsibly and cannot be trusted to abuse this, then she gets treated like the moronic imbecile that she is and you change it.
Wow - that Twit really is
Wow - that Twit really is deranged.
1. Change your cell phone number and block her
2. Get rid of the wine - dump it on her front lawn
3. Call Animal Control and report her as neglecting her dogs
4. Move further away ASAP!
I cannot stress #4 enough. We moved 2.5 hours away from YSD and it helps a lot. problems didn't disappear but they are a lot less than they used to be.
Be good to yourself and try to relax - deep breathes. DO NOT ANSWER any calls for the next week or two, she might try to call from an unknown number.
What a wack job she is - SHEESH.
Why are you shaking and
Why are you shaking and crying? I would be laughing my ass off if I were you. She left recordings of her threats, save them and if she is stupid enough to sue you counter sue her for harassment, extortion (threats of suit if you do not do as instructed).
You have pegged this worthless POS supposedly adult kid as an idiot so enjoy her idiocy. Egg her on. Enjoy her melt downs. If something happens to her dogs then call the SPCA and police and let her deal with animal cruelty charges.
Seriously, have fun leading this fucking moron around by the bovine ring in her nose. She demonstrates the intellect of a cow so enjoy setting her up to bare her own idiot ass.
But she has gotten you and DH
But she has gotten you and DH to do her bidding once again-so she remains in control of your lives
Exactly. When your DH said no to begin with, this was plan B. She still got what she wanted, without any inconvenience to her (except making all the damn calls).
heriam - Twit doesn't know we
heriam - Twit doesn't know we checked on the pooches. The only thing DH left her was a text saying that she had better get back home and take care of them. She doesn't have a clue that DH and I checked on them at all, and we are not telling her.
IMHO, this will be very telling if she cuts short her trip and comes home or not. DH thinks she will come back early as she doesn't know what is going on at her house.
DH has his phone off, but the
DH has his phone off, but the one time he turned it on today had 6 messages from her. The house phone is unplugged from the jack so her calls can't even get to the answering machine. AND, I have blocked her on my phone.
Cat -I agree - I am dealing
Cat -I agree - I am dealing with one sick, forgive me for using this word as I can probably count on my fingers how many times I have said it in my life, f***ing moron.
Oh, she can be very sly and cunning. You say something and she has a remark right back where she tries to make YOU look like the problem is yours and not hers, she is PERFECT, don't cha know. You can't have a conversation with her because she does this constantly. Case in point, DH inquired why she never invited him over for Father's Day etc., Twit resonse? "Well, Dad, we like spicey food and you have stomach trouble so I don't want you to have your stomach flare up on you. (Get it? She is doing him a favor by not inviting him over for Father's Day!) DH: Well cook something that isn't real spicey for me. Twit: Well, my budget is tight and I can't afford it.
Listening to it you can see it is a losing proposition for DH because, as I said, SHE is doing him the favor by not having him over. Bad part here, DH use to believe it, that she was looking out for him! Maybe it was denial, don't know, but regardless you get the drift.
Hi Cat - Amazing isn't it?
Hi Cat - Amazing isn't it? What is really interesting to me is how she made it sound like it is in HIS best interest. This didn't have to happen on Father's Day, it would be any time. BUT, she sure can call up and want us to do something for her so - she and her hubby can get away.
Bullshit! Do I sound like I am mad, foaming at the mouth? You bet the hell I am.
There was one Christmas Day that she invited us over for Christmas Dinner. Served A frozen pizza and a can of pop and pretty much threw us out of the house by 1:00 p.m. The weather said that there MIGHT be bad storm later that evening, but the day was clear and Sunny at that time. She was SOOO concerned that the roads would be bad before we got home.....9 miles away. I remember that day well....didn't even start snowing until after 10:00pm when the forecast pretty much predicted it.
Nope, no sign of drunkie and we did look around the house.
DH & Ichecked yesterday and
DH & Ichecked yesterday and the pooches had food and water, and he let them out for awhile. The house reeks because, well, they've been left alone for too long a period of time, but not our problem.
We didn't go back down today as we had plans with other friends. DH & I have not answered her messages (phones off/disconnected). We love animals but we can only do so much. And since both times the animals had water and food, I think maybe drunkie is doing that once a day before he goes out and gets plastered with his buds. Either that or she knows he is taking care of them and just is trying to get DH to jump through hoops for her....poor little adult Twit.
Once again, agree BIG time
Once again, agree BIG time with you Cat. The one son is a drunkie/druggie, the oldest one is a big fat (350+ lb. loser who, at age 29 works only part time stocking shelves in a grocery store and....Twit still supports him. Can you say LOSERS? I can. And no wonder....look at Mommy. She enables them, has them tied to apron strings. The story with the fat ars is that she has to help him out because he has threatened suicide in the past (sound familiar?) and has told her he just knows he is going to die young. (Ya think weight might have something to do with that?) So Twit supplements his meager income, buys him his cars, buys extra food for him.
But, SHE is perfect, perfect mother, etc. In her dreams because reality of what goes on hasn't set in.
Oh, I did do something last time we checked on pooches. She keeps them in the family room, so I opened the gate so they could get into the house. Hopefully they will poop and pee a few times. Didn't tell DH or make it obvious I did that. Hey, I'm not perfect and, quite frankly, just doing that gives me some small pleasure. Let drunkie explain how the dogs got in the main house.
I was just pizzed off at us
I was just pizzed off at us running around and her phone calls. Really, it was beneath me to do such a thing but its done. I DO however hope she has a lot of DOO DOO to clean up. Understand she just had her main house carpets cleaned last month. Oh well.....
As I say, I'm pretty commonsensical (is that a word?) but I am not perfect.
And I have had stomach pains all day from all this Twit nonsense. DH was saying that I need to have some compassion for Twit, she is under a lot of stress dealing with drunkie, how no matter what she says to him he still drinks and lies to her. SDM to DH, hey, we all have stress, but I have no sympathy for those who's stress is of their own making. DH you need to realize she is crazy! Interestingly, where as in the past this would have started the war of the worlds with him, he didn't say much in response except that he felt pity for her with her drunkie son.
Now I hope that is a good sign because pity IMHO doesn't mean the same thing as feeling sorry for them, as he has said in the past.
Make sure you underline that,
Make sure you underline that, that general pity/compassion for her problems does NOT equate to then helping her out on things she can deal with herself... such as kenneling some animals. Kenneling animals has doodly squat to do with her son. If she puts herself up a false expectation that her son can take over in her absence, then that says more about her poor judgment than her pitiable son. Don't let your DH slide the concept of pity into the concept of doing free work which leads to further emotional harm to yourselves.
Poodle - When I feel sorry
Poodle - When I feel sorry for someone I can understand what they are dealing with, perhaps a loss of a loved one, a major illness, etc. When I feel pity for someone it means I see them as, well losers, not worth my time, not worth bothering with. I think DH may be getting closer to the pity thingy with her.
Kind of like the difference, as I see it, between empathy for someone and sympathy. Empathy, to me, means that I can understand why someone is feeling like they do, or upset over something. Sympathy means you just feel sorry for them.
I actually slipped and called Twit crazy this weekend. And as I said, in the past this would have started WWIII between us, but it did not. He just said that she is under stress and has some problems, is confused, but he didn't come down on me like he would have in the past if I said that. Had to bite my tongue not to add that I certainly know she is confused as well as delusional, adding that would have only been throwing gas on the fire. As Kenney Rogers says - You gotta know when to hold and know when to fold em.
Silly me, I've been humming that song because it helps me stay in perspective this weekend on all Twit nonsense. That and talking to you fine folk.
make sure you take care of
make sure you take care of yourself. stress like this will do damage to your health.