Yesterday I blogged about the eye of the hurricane. Today I'm feeling more like a yo-yo. SD16.5 called this morning and canceled lunch with BF. So after 24 hours of wondering which new way my life was going to suck, instead SD16.5 has stayed away. We don't know what she wanted. Conversation lasted less than a minute between BF and SD.
I have my weekend back only slightly dinged. BF spent the morning grumpy, but has come around by afternoon. However, I'm sure we haven't heard the end of whatever it was SD16.5 wanted. So she's going to play our emotions like a yo-yo. BF's heart strings will go up and down with SD's desire to grace us with her presence. My emotions will also be played like a yo-yo as I dread, then recover, dread then recover.
The powerlessness and ridiculous-ness of allowing a kid to play adults like this only really understood by my ST friends!
First of all, why is your BF
First of all, why is your BF letting his teenager run his emotions? I CAN'T STAND when DH gets all hurt and sad because of SD's. It feels like he's pining away for a lost lover. Yuk!
I raised two kids so I know how thoughtless and rude teens can be. I was worried and concerned many times about my kids, but they never HURT me because I AM THEIR MOTHER. Our relationship is Parent/Child and for me that means that I love them and they love me, unconditionally. Yes, I got angry with them. Yes, I worried about them. But my kids can't hurt me because I know they love me. Period.
Many times SD's ruined weekends, and days on end because of their thoughtless, rude behavior and more because of DH's reaction to it. Oh, and one SD didn't speak to us for 4 YEARS!! (She's an adult) For god's sake, they are YOUR KIDS. Once they hit the teens, they do start pulling away, getting more independent. And so should the parents! I mean, we can always be there for support and guidance, but you can't watch them 24/7 like they are babies. You and BF have your own life, right? I just hate that self pity because of a thoughtless SD.
On a different side of
On a different side of this.
While I do love my son unconditionally, and belive he has the same feeling for me, he has hurt me in the past. He has hurt my feelings, my heart, my emotional wellbeing for a hour or so. Did I always forgive him, of course, no matter what he does I'll always love him. He is my son. But if he lived with his father and canceled his lunch date with me I would be hurt as well. Hurt because I'd look forward to seeing him and spending some time with him.
Kids are selfish by nature. Your SD is a selfish one and her true "wants" will come out soon enough. Brace yourself.
I am sure that really hurt
I am sure that really hurt his feelings. Don't let this bother you, this is DH problem.
SO was the SAME WAY; getting
SO was the SAME WAY; getting his hopes up and when the gir would "cancel" visitation or have the skid give some lame excuse as to why they couldnt' come, it would send him into this deep depression.
I feel the same way as goforit. I am not the huggy kissy type so that probably helps. They are the children; I am the adult. I'll be damned before I have a CO DEPENDENT relationship with my or any other children. Just like a alchoholic's spouse riding the same emotional rollercoaster as the alcoholic himself.
NO friggin' way! It's great when and if these DHs wise up and realize they are being played a FOOL!!
“The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.” -Confucius