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HAPPY EASTER (the golden eggs are coming!)

toywas's picture

DH just informed me that SD40 and her crew are coming to visit this weekend. Need I remind DH that he still hasn’t cleaned up from SD40 from 2 weeks ago!?! Needless to say, I told him that it was not Christmas, this was my holiday, and I really didn’t want them here! Give me kuddos for being honest!

Our tradition has always been - coloring eggs (yes we still do!) going to the movies, mass, and just have a special “us” weekend together. And now this has been put on hold. DH wants to color eggs with SD40 and the GKs; I can understand that so I told him to go to the store and buy the eggs and the coloring kits and have fun. I got the sad unhappy clown face! F**k that! I am coloring eggs tonight – period!

As for the movies “how about if they go with us?” so I said “no thanks; I’ll go next week to the matinee!” Again, I got the unhappy clown face. Again, f**k that!

Call me a bitch, and I would be proud and smile. But don’t tell me that when those ungrateful little bastards come in my home, disrespect and ignore me, eat all my food, drink all my alcohol, make a tornado through my home, and not say one f**kin word to me is ok?! Again, f**k that!

This past week DH received invitations for 2 GKs communion parties. The invites was addressed to both of us but the inside note stated something similar to I was not invited since the Golden Goose was going to be there. Yes this hurt, but seriously, I wasn’t planning on going to either event, whether it was close to home or out of state. And as usual, DH didn’t t say a word of why I wasn’t invited only “it’s a misprint on their writing!” Again, f**k that and f**k you DH!

Forgive me for being honest here – you guys are my friends; you listen and understand what I am going through. I am so tired of crying when holidays come. I really don’t know how much longer I can take of this! I can’t help but wonder if our marriage was a mistake. I know in my heart I deserve so much better than this! I just wish DH would have the balls to say something to his special golden eggs regarding the way they treat me. As far as I am concerned, another holiday is ruined!

I wish all of you the best of Easter this year. Thanks for listening!

Orange County Ca's picture

Is this your husbands only fallback? Yes? Then its worth staying.

Do you care about these kids? No? Why are you letting them bother you?

Except for the religious rites holidays are way over-rated and commercialized. Tell your husband you'll be there for mass if its important to him but that's it. The rest of the holiday he's free to do as he wishes but you won't even be in the house.

Find a friend and take a trip - make it a several day trip if that's what it takes. There are plenty of non-Christian people who find the holiday boring. And when you get home tell hubby HE's cleaning up because you're not. Better yet put him on notice when he first mentions the planned visit.

toywas's picture

Thanks Orange for your response. I am already in the process of making a "me" trip. It just sucks that it's an "our" holiday! And yes, DH already knows he's cooking and cleaning.

twoviewpoints's picture

You could always make a reservation for 'one' for Easter brunch and let DH and his bunch all to themselves at the house. DH can cook their dinner (that he shopped for the groceries himself) and clean both kitchen and house up afterwards.

I can't imagine being a guess to dinner at my mother's and not bringing part of the meal, going early to help set-up and get ready, help Mom finish up whatever she's making, and totally clean up afterwards. Even DD pitches in running vacuum and setting table or whatever Gma needs her to do.

You got stuck with rejects. Perhaps they could invite Dad over to their house some times so you can have a peaceful day while he visits his rude slobs, uh, children/GC.

toywas's picture

BRING A DISH!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Several years at Christmas I asked DH to have all the golden eggs bring a dish - at first they did, then they got offended, then everything fell back on me! DH does all grocery shopping and cooking for 30 (it's amazing how the price of food for 30 hits their wallets!)

Rejects? Yes, I really got stuck with 6 rejects as well as their spouses!

My mom would have slapped me silly several times if I EVER went into someone's home and treated the host like I am treated!

toywas's picture

I'm using my foot surgery as an excuse! My own son just informed me that he was not coming for Easter dinner because he, just like me, doesn't want to be part of their BS! Now I am sad and I know later on, I am going to get f**kin mad!

Happy Easter to you and yours!

sandye21's picture

Anyname has a really good suggestion. Falling back on the foot surgery is one thing but something contagious sounds a heck of a lot better. Maybe something that's invisible, know what I mean? Let DH inform them that they are going to have to celebrate at their house so they don't get any infection. You need to pout an end to this crap anyway. This is your home too. If your DH won't insist that the skids have respect for you in your own home you are going to have to. The best thing you can do for yourself is to 'convince' the skids that they don't want to be around you anymore.

toywas's picture

DH and I have been loudly fighting for the past 30 minutes. His words "his kids always come first!" He took his stand as far as I am concerned. Stupidass thought I was being sincere by letting them in our home to eat all our food and alcohol and walk all over me! What a dumbass! I asked for divorce and he said I was crazy.

I'm packing some things to go spend the night elsewhere. What else can I do? To be with a man after 13 years to tell me that his kids will always come first before me - I am his wife!

F**k him!

hereiam's picture

She's 40 years old and he is using the "my kids come first" line? If my husband told me that, I would tell him, "Fine, go live with SD, then." Which would be extra funny in my case because SD22 lives with BM.

Take your alcohol with you, they can buy their own.

toywas's picture

I know my DH is an idiot! He's been a Disney Dad for the past 13 years since we have been together. I can never get him to see my point of view - then he's disloyal to the Golden Egg and his golden children.

Unfortunately for me, all the golden eggs AND THEIR SPOUSES treat me like me shit! I am the only one standing up for me.

sandye21's picture

I can't believe he said his kids come first! What a jerk! He doesn't deserve you. You stay home and get better. It's your home too, isn't it? Tell HIM to go to a motel for the night or to his cherished bunch of troglodytes to stay until he can treat you like a husband should. And as notasm said, get rid of the booze.

angelbeth's picture

He needs to set his daughter straight, I like the idea of the hotel, if she does not go you go. It took my Dh years to get it. would dh go to a counselor?
I set boundaries years ago. Not sure how I survived either. Went to a counselor and she told dh how it was. I said it is do I die time. If two do not come together as one, then I am done. It took a while but he understood and set the boundaries with the kids and the ex.
Have two ss and a bio daughter. She is closer to my dh then her own father. one ss is a jerk, I posted about it but he has decided that he is keeping the grand kids from us. D-i-l had to rub it in our faces on face book. They are not nice never have been have mental issues and we have to let go and move on.