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How to survive as a target of blame for a high conflict personality

AmIWicked's picture

Recently have seen escalating behavior from BM. I have always been her target, since we got together(it was the girlfriend's prior to me before that).
It's gone from emails, to ranting phone calls, to threatening texts, then confronting me in a public setting.
Now she continues to bring my name up in emails between her and my husband and even goes so far as to say that I am the one harassing her.
I keep my distance from her. I do not talk to her ever. And my husband only talks to her through our family wizard.
That doesn't stop her from calling his and leaving voicemails were she is screaming at the top of her lungs that "I" am the problem with their communication.

Mostly, I'm just wondering how to best protect myself.

But also, I am in a two party recording state and I'm curious if stating "you are being recorded" in a confrontation, is enough to notify that a situation is being recorded.

princessmofo's picture

Your husband needs to step up and set some boundaries with her. He should block all communication with her other than the family wizard. I will tell you one thing though, if bm ever got physical with me I would not hesitate to defend myself.

abugandabean's picture

I got a "no contact" against my BM for harassing, threatening, stalking, etc. It's basically a step below an RO. All I did was went to my local police after she sent me a threatening letter snail mail and they called her and told her that she was to no longer contact me, speak of me, contact anyone in my family, etc. Surprisingly this was enough to get her to stop after a year of CONSTANT harassment. Texts, phone calls, I blocked her number and she would call from other peoples phones, stalking, driving past my house, harassing my ex husband, etc. If she breaks the no contact order then she will be cited for harassment. If she breaks it twice she gets arrested and I get an RO. As much as I detest this woman I didn't want my YSD to suffer if she goes to jail or has harassment charges on her record.

AmIWicked's picture

This is all great advice, thanks!

We've got the court order saying our family wizard only communication unless it is an emergency.
BM however is using every excuse possible as an emergency and all we are doing now is documenting everything.
Her last voicemail was her misunderstanding the our family wizard event calendar and she left a 75 second message on my husband's cell with 14 profanities. Almost one every 5 seconds. He never answers her calls, so he doesn't mind her venting on it. We record and upload every crazy voicemail and document it on the site.
We are just waiting for enough ammo to take it to court without it looking petty. It's only been a month since the last court date and we have two crazy voicemails(a violation of the court order in themselves) and two crazy emails through the our family wizard site. We just don't want it to look like we are slinging mud, but we don't want it to escalate so far that someone gets hurt either.

derb84123's picture

I wish we could use Family Wizard... but unless we pay for both our side and BMs she would never use it. Instead we just have detailed stuff in google docs, google calendar, and google spreadsheets. Ive heard its a great program tho