sandy777's picture

Found undergarments- not me, the dog!

Had ss and both sd over the weekend. I then found soiled underwear and blue jeans, with feces through the jeans, in ss trash. In the bathroom upstairs, I found 2 incontinence pads soaked with urine.I think these are one of the sd. Actually the dog found them all! The sad part is, I can't say ANYTHING to dh as he will flip out and accuse me of "picking" on his kids! They seem to need SERIOUS MEDICAL help, but even saying this will cause dh to flip. So I'm just pretending nothing is at all odd!!!

exhustedSM's picture

How old are skids?

How old are skids?

sandy777's picture

Skids are 15 and 13.

Skids are 15 and 13.

farting_glitter's picture

what the

what the what???????......jesus.....

—

I got 99 problems ....and it's all step-related

FormerAAGirl's picture

You must show him what you

You must show him what you found.

Here's the thing - if you simply told him they were pants-crappers and pee-ers, THEN you would be "picking" on his kids. If you SHOW him what you found, he will have no choice but to at least think about his pants-crapping kids.

Doing nothing is the WORST thing you can do, sandy.

askYOURdad's picture

Hmmm... as I said in my last

Hmmm... as I said in my last blog, I am passive aggressive, but I would maybe put them somewhere that your DH would find them and then it has to be obvious who they belong to right?

Not to turn a minnow into a whale here, but depending on your skids ages this could be not only unhealthy but very telling. I have read in several locations that bed wetting, or even regression in the toileting department can often times be an indicator of abuse. I'm not saying that IS what is going on, but I would feel awful if I missed a red flag like that and didn't protect them. Aside from abuse, even if that isn't what is going on, it sounds like the kids still could use some help.

—

"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."

Generic's picture

Why are they going in their

Why are they going in their pants? The hell?

zerostepdrama's picture

OMG SHOW HIM!!!!!! Just like

OMG SHOW HIM!!!!!! Just like Former said. He cant be mad at you showing him what you found. Can you play it off with concern and not disgust?

DaizyDuke's picture

WTF? If I am reading your

WTF? If I am reading your personal information correctly.. these kids are 13 and 15??? If so there is something seriously wrong with this picture. Why would your DH think that you are "picking" on the skids???? I should think a parent would be CONCERNED if their 13 and 15 year olds were pooping and peeing in their pants???

—

Funny how people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.

brooklynsmom86's picture

Next time you go to the store

Next time you go to the store get a small size in adult diapers. Maybe that will shame him into getting them some help. And that's a big maybe, my dh was irritated that I wouldn't let his 11 year old daughter wear pull-ups to bed. Sigh...

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

As I said in the forum--reeks

As I said in the forum--reeks of sexual abuse. Docs asap.

Azure's picture

They are way too old for

They are way too old for this. They need medical attention immediately.

furkidsforme's picture

Regressions with toilet

Regressions with toilet behavior are a common sign of sexual abuse. That is fairly well known.

Alright... I'm gonna say it.

Sandy777, has it crossed your mind that your DH could potentially be part of the abuse, and that is why he ignores it? I can't imagine any parent not being concerned that a teen child routinely has loss of bowel and bladder control.

askYOURdad's picture

Sandy777, has it crossed your

Sandy777, has it crossed your mind that your DH could potentially be part of the abuse, and that is why he ignores it? I can't imagine any parent not being concerned that a teen child routinely has loss of bowel and bladder control.

^^^That is a good point and a very disturbing thought!

—

"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."

ctnmom's picture

This is beyond horrifying. It

This is beyond horrifying. It HAS to be addressed. They are either monsters who are seriously messing with you/hate you, or are being abused.

Shaman29's picture

Sandy...I'm with the others.

Sandy...I'm with the others. Something is wrong with these kids. Get them some help.

—

"Seek first to understand , then to be understood"

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Roddy Piper

sandy777's picture

The abuse is definitely not

The abuse is definitely not from him. He sees them one night per month with all of the rest of us as he lives in another state then they do. I have thought of the abuse, but they are seeing therapists already, and I'm guessing this would have come up by now. The last therapist said that the kid's issues were not with their dad. Of course, BM got a new therapist after that! They are on all types of meds per BM, and they are certainly odd. In my opinion, they all have some mild autism from extreme prematurity We have taken them to the Dr ourselves but BM just won't listen to what our dr has to say. The whole thing is super weird and is only getting weirder the older they get!

SS 13 is the one with the poopy pants.