Child Support and Stay at Home Dad
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Hi All,
I was just wondering what you thought about child support when being a stay at home dad? Because of my job, it makes more financial sense for my partner to stay at home and look after the children than me (or paying for childcare) so we're living off my income only. My partner has a 4 year old son and whilst his mother has never asked for child support (and even refused it in the past), I was wondering what was expected in this sort of situation? Should we be paying her even though it would be me paying, not him, or do we just keep doing what we're doing which is just looking after him whilst he's here and buying things as and when he needs them?
don't know why bm isn't
don't know why bm isn't getting child support, but there's an ax out there that can fall at any minute. I can promise you that if you end up being the sole supporter of your partner's kids, you will become resentful. I believe that having a stay at home parent is a luxury that second marriages/relationships can rarely afford (financially or emotionally). but if it works for you, that's great. but have a back up plan for if/when bm wants cs so that your partner can easily re-enter the work force.
If Mom decides to file, Dad
If Mom decides to file, Dad may be imputed an income because his un/underemployment is voluntary, your choice (personal and collective) will be that either you pay his obligation or he goes back to work.
Some states still have
Some states still have minimum CS even if the parent isn't working. That is what we get from BM, $65/month.
Some states base it on minimum wage if the parent isn't working, some do it base on earning potential, some just go by actual income and have minimums. If I was you I would have something in writing just so that she can't go back and say that she is owed however many months/years in arrearages because he never paid.
Cocoa - he doesn't pay
Cocoa - he doesn't pay because every time he's tried she just refuses. I'm pretty sure legally speaking he doesn't have to pay if he's not working. But from a moral point of view, I guess I was just wondering what is etiquette in these circumstances.
Can BM really backdate it if she were to file a case? Definitely don't like the sound of that! We're from the UK so don't know if that makes a difference.
He doesn't have to pay if
He doesn't have to pay if there is no order, If there is an order, then he continues paying until the court tells him he can stop. If there is no order and she files for one, it will likely be backdated to the date of filing, unless she is on state aid.
Oh... yes, being in the UK could make a difference. Sorry - just saw that.
I don't know the specific
I don't know the specific legalities, because they're all different depending on the state. What I can tell you is my own experience is if you've set a precedent, the court may stick with that despite what the law says. Meaning, if she's never received CS before, she has to prove why she would need it now. Furthermore, if he's the stay-at-home dad, is he providing the primary caregiver role to his child? If so, HE may be entitled child support. It's definitely something worth looking into.
You don't say how much the
You don't say how much the child is with dad? If he is staying home with his own child or providing child care, the mom probably thinks that's enough. She probably thinks that she would owe him! I think everyone is suspicious of BMs here. There are normal people out there not out to get their exes! LOL
HRNYC is right, he stays at
HRNYC is right, he stays at home to look after our little one. He has his 4 year old son every weekend, Friday night to Saturday evening or Saturday night to Sunday evening. He also sees him one evening in the week. It's not practical for his four year old to stay over in the week as we live too far away for it to be practical for school and understandably birth mum wants to see him at weekends too, hence only one day out of the two. We do however have him a little more during the holidays.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it to be honest. I love his son but at the same time, he's not my son, so I don't know if we should really be paying child support out of my wages. Birth mum doesn't work (she's expecting twins soon) but her partner works full time. I'd hate for his son to go without but as far as we're aware, birth mum isn't struggling, he's always well fed, well clothed and goes places with her just like he does with us. I do feel slightly resentful that they had a child together and now ultimately it's myself and birth mum's partner supporting him financially!
I guess I just wonder how I'd feel if we ever broke up and he was a stay at home dad so didn't pay child support. I don't know whether I'd want him to or not but definitely wouldn't expect his new partner to pay as we chose to have our little one so it's our responsibility to sort out finances, childcare etc, no one else's.
I find it sad that a 4 yr old
I find it sad that a 4 yr old is already in school full time. In most countries, compulsory attendance begins around age 6-7. I bet most people don't know this. Most shove their kids off as soon as they can get in their first state paid classroom. With dad at home, and parents not together, a 4 yr old should be cared for by Dad (or Mom in other cases). This just does not make sense to me.
This is interesting. Many SMs
This is interesting.
Many SMs here complain because they have BMs who remarried and are SAHMs. As a result, the only ones supporting the kids are the dads and the new husbands. Many agree that both parents should work and support their children.
If the BM in the OP remarries, I can see her ex not paying CS creating problems. As SM, if DF had custody of his kids and made the choice not to go after CS, I would be livid.
I would force him to get CS or move out.
Why would you even offer to
Why would you even offer to do that?
That was what always stuck in my craw when skids were little. Not their behavior or them being bad, but the damned child support. Money out the window every month. BM and her new beau went to Reno a lot, partied a lot, while SS and SD never benefited from one dime of that money! Oh, don't get me started.