Unfreakingreal's picture

Told off SS21 this morning....

DH just celebrated a birthday. SS21 couldn't even be bothered to text, call or even Facebook his dad a happy birthday. It made me furious & I couldn't restrain myself. I sent SS21 a private FB post. I told him that he should be ashamed of himself and that he should be thankful & grateful to have been blessed with a father that put in so much energy, time, money and love into trying to change his life. That he should be happy that he has ONE parent that actually gives a flying fuck about him and that I know that he is acting like a DICK because he wants to blame his dad for his life being SHIT right now but that he'll regret that. SS21 replied "Why are you messaging me? Go away."
I replied "I'm talking to you thru here because I haven't seen you face to face to tell you what I think. Life goes in circles. Mark my words, you will need him one day. To think that I treated you as if you were one of my own children. I was blind to this person that has taken over your body."
He replies "So mature. I'm confused about why you're still talking. CHOW!"
I replied "That would be CIAO and believe me, you'll come crying to him and I will be the one standing next to him to hand you the tissues. Good riddance and good luck until then."
He replied "Woopty doo. Who gives a shit."

Despite his attitude, I am 100% sure my words stung. I do not regret sending him the message. I feel great for letting him know what a huge POS he is and how he WILL come crying to his daddy. Of that I am SURE.


Willow2010's picture

Uh oh...how is your DH going

Uh oh...how is your DH going to take this? lol

Mine would be mad if I did that. Honestly...I would probably be mad if DH sent that to one of my kids too.

BUUUT...my kids are not assholes like your skids.

Unfreakingreal's picture

He'll probably ask me WHY I

He'll probably ask me WHY I did it and I'll reply because it's what my heart felt like doing at the time. You have to understand that this maggot BEGGED us to move in at age 16. When he was truant in HS, depressed, miserable and feeling lost. We took him in, pushed him, helped him, stood by him. Graduated HS simply because we pushed him up a hill in a fucking wheelbarrow. Put him in college, PAID his tuition, bought him a car, got him a job. HELD his hand for FIVE years. What does he do? He pisses all over it. When I couldn't take it anymore, I threw him out last June. Now he's at his mommy's house. Being crippled by this woman who THINKS she is doing right by her son, who instead is securing herself in the position of being NEEDED by him for the rest of his life. Doesn't work, doesn't go to school, nothing. All he had to do was call his dad and wish him a Happy Birthday and he couldn't even do that. It infuriated me.

FormerAAGirl's picture

Good for you for speaking

Good for you for speaking your mind. I should think that your DH would only be mad at you for sending this if his kid wasn't a gigantic asshole, but he is, so I think you're good Smiling

Unfreakingreal's picture

Former - He'll probably get

Former - He'll probably get mad but he'll get over it. He will know where my intentions stem from. He knows I am right & also knows that unlike him, who lets people mistreat me, (in laws and the such) I do not stand idly by and let people mistreat him. It's just not in my nature.

StepAside's picture

"chow"? Can I get two snaps

"chow"? Can I get two snaps for the dumbass??

Smooth seas don't make great sailors.

Unfreakingreal's picture

StepAside - I almost fell off

StepAside - I almost fell off my chair laughing. That's why I HAD to correct him. Because I HAD to stick it to him the best way I knew how, by letting him know "Not only are you an asshole, you're a freaking stupid one at that." Smiling

FormerAAGirl's picture

SA - I am now cleaning

SA - I am now cleaning raspberries off my monitor. Thanks for that - lol!

Drac0's picture

Is it possible that he simply

Is it possible that he simply forgot? I am horrible with birthdays and anniversaries myself and need my external memory cache (my DW) to remind me in advance of upcoming birthdays.

This week on STalk: "It boils down to choosing hope over a sealed fate. - - yhatzee

LadyFace's picture

DH called to wish FIL a happy

DH called to wish FIL a happy birthday a few days ago. I thought that was pretty great of him, considering I usually have to remind him of important dates. Well, his well-wishes were exactly one month early. Doh! At least he tried. Sticking out tongue

Keep on keepin' on!

Drac0's picture

LOL! I did that to my own

LOL! I did that to my own father! I wished him happy birthday a day early. I can remember SS, my bios and DW's well enough because there are patterns to their birth dates. With everyone else, there is no pattern.

This week on STalk: "It boils down to choosing hope over a sealed fate. - - yhatzee

Unfreakingreal's picture

With Facebook? And the little

With Facebook? And the little reminder on the side of the page? And the fact that SS21 and DH have numerous mutual friends and when a mutual friend posts HAPPY BIRTHDAY it comes up on the Newsfeed? Highly unlikely. He did it on purpose. He did it to HURT him.

Drac0's picture

I forgot FB has that feature.

I forgot FB has that feature. I haven't reviewed my own profile in over a year.

This week on STalk: "It boils down to choosing hope over a sealed fate. - - yhatzee

Fire_Inside's picture

I never pay attention to

I never pay attention to those alerts on Facebook...not that he didn't know, but facebook isn't a guarantee.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad choices.

bellladonna's picture

Your SS is a jerk! He doesn't

Your SS is a jerk! He doesn't have any respect. Thank goodness he is out of your house. I'm glad you gave him a piece of your mind.

You are so right in what you told him. He WILL need his father one day. I hope what you told him hits home.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter"-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Unfreakingreal's picture

Oh let me tell you that I am

Oh let me tell you that I am placing mental bets on how long it'll be before he calls CRYING to his daddy to help him in some way or another. Here's the thing with these kids. They think that they know everything. They don't know shit about shit. This is my favorite stage of the game, waiting for the groveling. Patiently waiting.

Rags's picture

CHOW? SS21 is either hungry

CHOW? SS21 is either hungry or an idiot. My condolences on SS21 ignoring his dad's birthday. Even when we know that these kids are being polluted by the blended family opposition it is heartbreaking that they can't see the impact that the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool is causing to them and to the quality parent in their lives.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian. Not a buddy.-Rags

If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR

If you want to be a piece of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags

Unfreakingreal's picture

Rags - he is a complete

Rags - he is a complete idiot. His tweets are beyond bizarre. He acts as if he were a 12 year old moron. Hell, some 12 year olds don't act as dumb as he does. It broke my heart when my DH, who for the record is NOT by ANY means an emotional man, said to me during dinner..."it made me sad that I didn't hear from him". I reached across the table, grabbed his hand and with tears in my ears said "I'm so truly sorry, he will come around honey, he will".
We actually discussed at length how BM is the culprit here and how her PASing thruout our 13 years together has finally reared it's ugly head.

Anon2009's picture

At the very least, good for

At the very least, good for you for correcting his spelling. You said what you felt you needed to say and I'm sure that felt good.

Now you might want to unfriend and block him. He'll get his soon. I think he already is. Doesn't sound like he has a gf or friends. Sooner or later, he'll be wishing he was better to dh.

Chapter 3, Ecclesiastes, vs. 1-8

Unfreakingreal's picture

He actually beat me to it and

He actually beat me to it and blocked me. Which honestly, I could give a rats ass about. He doesn't have a girlfriend and the few friends he has, laugh at him behind his back. While they are in college and working he is sitting in their houses watching tv with their parents. I am sure the parents must rip him apart too. Everyone knows he is no longer welcome in our home and that we kicked him out because he was such a loser. He will regret his choices. They always do don't they?

Fire_Inside's picture

I'm guessing your words

I'm guessing your words didn't sting. Not at all. He's 21—he may as well be 4. He's still in that "Me Me Me" stage in life. It's all about his needs and what he wants. It's good that telling him how you feel made you feel better, though. It's healthy. But the bottom line is that he is the way he is and lives the life that he lives because he truly DOES NOT CARE about anything at this point.

I just hope if/when he comes back to your DH, that he is strong enough to tell him to sod off.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad choices.

Anon2009's picture

"I'm guessing your words

"I'm guessing your words didn't sting. Not at all. He's 21—he may as well be 4. He's still in that "Me Me Me" stage in life. It's all about his needs and what he wants. It's good that telling him how you feel made you feel better, though. It's healthy. But the bottom line is that he is the way he is and lives the life that he lives because he truly DOES NOT CARE about anything at this point."

This is what I think. Unfreaking, it's great that you said what you felt you needed to say to ss. But he may well not understand the full meaning of your words for many years. They may not sink in for awhile.

Chapter 3, Ecclesiastes, vs. 1-8

Most Evil's picture

Ha! I think you did reach

Ha! I think you did reach him and called him out for bring a jerk to his dad and, it did hurt!

What is wrong with people, I have never missed my dad's bday in my life-!!!!! its free, jackass!

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
~ Jim Valvano

Máirín's picture

Something DH...and me...have

Something DH...and me...have been focusing on concerning his dickhead kids is me being me.

DH says what he wants when he wants to whomever he wants when it comes to my family. Historically, however, the rules were different for me when it came to his family. He finally really discovered, more recently, the double standard due to some stupud (and minor but passive aggressive) remarks his sister made on my FB page.

Instinctively, he started telling me what I should say back to her. Not one of his suggestions were anything I would do. Then he said it...."Ah. You should be yourself. I am always telling you that, but then I suggest you not be yourself. I am myself with your family. I should not tell you how to be with mine."

Amen hallelujiah.

Being me, doing what I would do is good. Doing otherwise is bad for me. I am not irresponsible.

So good for you. I held in way too much for too long in re DH's brats. That was a bad route to go. It only hurt me. Everyone got to keep being assholes with no consequence. No mord holding back from me.

~~~ Red red wine ~~~