SD from hell's picture

Am I just being a c&^%?

Hi; I think that I'm a normal 20yo, reacting the way a normal 20yo would in my situation. According to my SM and my DH im a total drama queen. I dont know what to think.
My dad went to jail when I was really little. Like 2 or 3. I hadnt ever met him until my mom sent me across the country to live with him when I turned 14. I am the only one of his three kids that has ever met him. It was a terrible time in my life.
He worked constantly, I would only ever see him for an hour or two at a time, every week or two. He makes lots of $ and thinks it solves all problems. Not seeing him was the best part of that time.
He was physically and mentally abusive the entire time i lived with him. I was not allowed to have friends, hang out outside and eventually he made me finish highschool online. when i was still allowed to go to public school, he paid friends of his to have me followed to and from classes. He hit on my friends and always told me i was getting chubby (I weigh 87lbs. and have been anorexic for ten years). Needless to say i didnt have many social skills at 18. Now i'm on disability for anxiety, depression and PTSD.
So; a week or so before my 18th birthday my dad decides to hire a maid. He asks a few people and hears about a friend of a friend who "really needs the money to pay off her mortgage". A few days later (three days before my birthday) i wake up to someone inside my house, screaming. I walk out of my bedroom into the living room and...BAM! The maids here! And she's fucking my dad on the living room sofa at 1030 on a tuesday morning. She had only been in my house for two and a half hours. Naturally i turned around and yelled "what the F---!" and walked out of the room. Five mins later i was being thrown out of the house for "cramping his style".
Turns out she used to be dad's buddy's favorite strippper and a recovering heroin addict. She is 28, bleach blond, fake boobs and so stupid it hurts. I wont say her exact name but it is one of the following; Cherry or Sugar. Apart from that; shes psycho. Smashing things, punching people, calling the cops.
We didnt speak for about six months and when we did i learned that she never did clean anything but shes still there. The only good thing is that my 43 year old dad has become nicer and less angry as time goes on.
My DH and i have been together for 4.5 years and we're planning on starting a family in the next couple years. All my family knows this.
Then out of nowhere guess what; the stripper is knocked up (even though my dad said a million times he didnt want more kids) and she's sooo happy with her self. I think this is the most retarded thing ive ever heard! well almost.... the most retarded came about a week ago.
I was sitting in their living room waiting for my dad who was having a screaming match with the pregnant ho. She comes out, sits on the couch and gets on her phone. "Yeah, I'm gonna be on my way home i guess. I cant believe I only made $800 sucking this guys --" I know im 20 but thats not ever appropriate to say in front of someones kid. They worked it out (yippie) but i just cant let that incident go.
I dont want anything to do with her or this kid. My dad is old and decrepit and has already asked me if i wanted to adopt this kid when he died. i said f- that. the worst part...she wants more kids! He's already 43! And what about me? How will I explain to MY kids why stripper granny is knocked up?
Am I being too harsh on them?


keepitsimplestupid's picture

You're not still living

You're not still living there, are you?

You say "he's already 43" like he's an old geezer or something. 43 isn't past his reproductive years at all. I'm 43 and have a 5 yo and a 3 yo, and I keep up with them just fine.

Being that the living conditions are so miserable there, my suggestion would be to get a place of your own and untangle yourself completely from this mess. It doesn't sound like you're getting any joy from reuniting with your father. Cut the ties and be on your way. Let them screw up their lives on their own.

SD from hell's picture

I dont live there. I havent

I dont live there. I havent since he threw me out the day she got there.

I dont mean to say he's 43 like all 43 year olds are unable to keep up with kids.
This particular 43yo has smoked tobacco for 20yrs, done crack and heroin for many years and can hardly lift his groceries. he also has three other kids in their early 20s. He would be 61 by the time this one leaves the house and if there are more........

It WOULD be better for me to cut ties with my dad. I also worry that this kid is going to have to go through all the shit i did and if im not around to keep an eye out whos gonna call CPS?

Anne Boleyn's picture

It is sad that this child

It is sad that this child will have to grow up with these two assholes. But you can't let that be your cross to bear. It's sad but you can only protect yourself right now.

Anne Boleyn's picture

I would stay far, far away

I would stay far, far away from that abusive man and his addict girlfriend. They are awful people. You need to move on. Sorry he's such an ass. Just get yourself out of that toxic scene and make a new life for yourself.

HRNYC's picture

This. Wish OP the best of

This. Wish OP the best of luck.

twopines's picture

Lol!! Omg where do I start...

Lol!! Omg where do I start...

“The witch in Hansel and Gretel -- she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.” Miranda - Sex and the City

ybarra357's picture

hehehe

hehehe

Anne Boleyn's picture

Why is this funny?

Why is this funny?

Echo's picture

It's probably the funniest

It's probably the funniest thing ever posted here. The Big Mahmoo of all Crews. The crewing that alllllll other crewings shall be measured against from now until the end of time. This one ticked every single "Dysfunction" box, hands down. LOLOL It's got it all: Dead beat Dads, Dads in prison, Moms who send away their kids to the other bad parent, child abuse, social dysfunction, depression, drugs, sex, strippers, pregnancy...I mean...there's NOTHING left ! LOL

A+ for Creative Writing. It really was pushed too far over the top to be believed, but as a full on piece of fiction, it was a fun read.

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

jjmomma's picture

LOL I'm with you.. cause we

LOL I'm with you.. cause we havent already heard it all!

jjmomma

dtzyblnd's picture

Stay away from him and cut

Stay away from him and cut him as a loss in your life.

For one, if he dies, she is still the mother, so it wouldn't be you needing to take the child. And you shouldn't want that at your age. Nope. They procreated, that's their deal. You just focus on your life.

****
Stephen King has ruined your step children!
And I'm the reason some women don't have babies!

2Tired4Drama's picture

Sorry, but I don't buy this

Sorry, but I don't buy this story. For one thing, why would any mother or court allow a minor female child (14) to go cross-country and live with a father she had no relationship with and who has a long history of drug abuse?

Second, the OP is a self-proclaimed "SD from Hell" and it appears she is using this forum (which is for step parents) to somehow get validation of her opinion about her father's girlfriend.

sandye21's picture

It DOES sound a bit strange

It DOES sound a bit strange that a 14 year old child would be allowed to travel by herself across country yo live wiht a drug addict. Many things do not add up. The OP writes she was kicked out of her Father's home when she was 18, then writes she has been with her DH for 4.5 years but she's presently 20 years old. She mentioned numerous psychological problems including PTSD. Sounds like more going on with her than that.

overworkedmom's picture

That part honestly didn't

That part honestly didn't make me blink. My older 1/2 sister went to live with our "Father" when she was 16- he had been in prison for 12 years for heroine. Her mother has split personalities and "didn't want her anymore". Thankfully I have never met the man (he went away when I was 6 months old and my step dad adopted me, so I was spared). The things my sister endured there for the year before she ran away would make you cry.

Echo's picture

Seriously. Seriously? You

Seriously. Seriously? You guys are getting sucked in by THIS story? You can't be serious. Come on...I am positively gobsmacked that anyone would buy into this for one single second.

ROFLMAO

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

twopines's picture

Right? It's all

Right? It's all just..just...I mean...from having paid friends follow her around, to the Sugar stripper not cleaning the house for 6 months, to...*sigh*

Really, she had me at hello.

“The witch in Hansel and Gretel -- she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.” Miranda - Sex and the City

dtzyblnd's picture

I have a soft spot for

I have a soft spot for strippers....because a lap dance is always better when the stripper's been cryin.....da da do do do do do....

****
Stephen King has ruined your step children!
And I'm the reason some women don't have babies!

StepAside's picture

I agree. I don't think your

I agree. I don't think your monkey was the only one smoking in this thread.

Smooth seas don't make great sailors.

Echo's picture

Yep. The only difference is

Yep. The only difference is MY monkey was only smoking Newports... Eye-wink

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

Echo's picture

Oh...and to answer your

Oh...and to answer your question?

Yes.

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

wickedsm123's picture

I think you are being a

I think you are being a little harsh, to be honest with you. If I was in your shoes, I would never have children because it is obvious you will have to adopt those your ancient old father keeps fathering and as he is so close to shuffling off this mortal coil at 43, you need to be on permanent stand by as an adoptive sister.
This will put the icing nicely on the dysfunctional cake you claim is your family.
So far as your girating step mum is concerned, she sounds like great fun, but I doubt she will want much to do with you as it looks like you have so much to complain about, you wont be a very positive person to be around.
Do yourself and everyone a favour. Stay well away from everyone. You forgot to mention that your pregnant step mother is doing everything solely to spite you and deprive you of your inheritance and what is rightly yours, but I guess that is just the least of your worries right now.

These kids are so utterly average....

imaSmom's picture

Her story might sound

Her story might sound unbelievable but, and I must say unfortunantly, I work with kids that grow up with this kind of drama all the time. For instance, last year, I worked with an 11 Year old girl who had 6 or 7 siblings and her mother was expecting again. Her mom was legally married but also mentally disabled. The 11yo who is the eldest of her siblings was very very sexually active. Her eldest partner being 34. I don't put much past people so again, yes the story sounds a little crazy but I wouldn't write it off complelty.

The freedom, the strength, the will to do as I damn well please.