I pretty much already tell my DH how I feel about his kid/bm, the PG version anyways LOL but he gets the jist of it...

1. If you guys don't step up and be parents, your daughter is going to end up pregnant (she did at age 16)

2. TELL your kids how you truly feel when they don't call or visit. Don't just say you understand so they won't feel guilty.

3. Call them on it when they tell obvious lies. Otherwise, they think you fall for them and are an idiot.

1) Kissing your kids' asses won't make up for the fact that you and BM are divorced. What it will do is make them disrespectful, disobedient, selfish, entitled, and ungrateful.

2) Your kids are disrespectful, disobedient, selfish, entitled, and ungrateful.

And that is all.

1) your children are turning into fat ugly people, just like their mother
2) your daughters arrogance and sense of entitlement have pushed me to the end of my rope
3) your sons ADHD has caused nothing but problems in our home, our marriage, in his education and with the only friend he had left. Wake up, address his issues and give him his medication.

Your son is "special" like dropped on his head wtf was BM smoking while preggers with him special! What 7 year old tries to eat a rock? Seriously you have to get this kid evaluated get him help! Even you think there is "something not so right with him" SO why aren't you helping him? (yes the kid was trying to eat a rock why "I don't know" and then spacy slack jaw staring. Just one of many things this kid does that raises red flags he's a little off, SO knows this has stated much worse than what I just said but damn he isn't in any hurry to get him evaluated. And his dd's mouth is about to get popped talking to adults like she's one SO actually handles that but his son nooooo.

I've pretty much already said it.

Your alcoholic, homeless, jobless (most of the time) crotch dropping is not my responsibility. period.dot. Not one dime of my money to him - ever. If his own mother won't take him in why should I?

This is more to SO about his BM than his kids but here it goes:

To the BM- You met SO in your early 30s and you didnt have a job because you lived off your parents wealth, thus making you think the world owes you something. You say you suffer from bi polar, i think it is a temper tantrum when things dont go your way you hold grudges, for months at a time. Then you feel guilty and apologize(i will give your credit for apologizing) but your behaviour really is childish and at 48, its time to take off the Huggies Pull ups and put real underwear on, get it? Also, you lived off SO because you didnt want to work and apparently you did f-all when it came to indoors as well, you didnt clean nor cook. You think because SO deposited inside you that he needs to take on 100% of the financial burden. It takes two to tango and you guys were already having issues, so you get pregnant and i realize its SOs fault too, but babies make things worse not better! To this day you still hold a grudge against him to a degree, I get it, but guess what your mentally immature. Thats why he left. He gave you all his money, lost a great job all because of your tantrums..please stop holding a grudge and holding him emotionally hostage....I also cant wait till we stop paying you support, your the Gold Digger not me!

To SS- Please stop being a douche to my daughter and telling her to be quiet when she is excited she gets to see you. Even though you are not biologically related. Sometimes you can be nice, othertimes you piss me off and those times totally take away any redeeming qualities you have because your going to grow up to be an asshole. I also think you have some preservation towards your mom, understandable, however youve only heard one side of the story. Also, we would see you guys more often but ask your mom to drive you, she wants to waste my vehicle and my gas, not hers....theres two sides to every story. Also, I dont think you are that cute like your dad thinks you are...im no super model either, maybe its because your a douche I dont know.

TO SD- You think you would be the most problematic in fact your the least. I think you have an awesome personality. You have an insecurity complex, I dont know why since you have a pretty face. You treat my daughter well. But please stop being insecure, you are perfect just the way you are!

To DH about SS8...

I am greatly concerned about the path SS8 is currently on. He makes poor choices and has almost no consequences for his poor choices. He doesn't show remorse and isn't empathetic to anyone or anything. He steals, lies, is physical with others, is verbal with others and self centered to the extreme. All of this together worries me the kind of adult he will become if he isn't treated today. Yes he was diagnosed ADHD but that doesn't give him an excuse to continue spreading chaos - the rest of us have to live with his choices. Its not anyone else's fault he has ADHD and we shouldn't all have to suffer because its excuses his wrong doings.

SS is 8 today. He is getting bigger and stronger, more aggressive and his stealing\lying\bullying is continuing and escalating as he ages. If his course is not altered, I am fearful he will become violent in our home as he ages, he will continue to use us without a thought or care.

His lack of remorse is my biggest concern.

For the sake of SS8's future, and the future of our family, I beg you to do everything you can today to alter SS's path.

1. DH I love you a lot and you are such a good person most of the time.

2. Unfortunately you slept with the Devil and created Devillynn and Devillita and called them children :sick:

3. Now they have gone to create more Devillees.

4. Nuff said

YOUR MISTAKE IS NOT CUTE!!

1. Why isn't SS15 ever held responsible for the things that he does EVER?
2. Why don't you take BM to court and ask for visitation rights? YOU are the one that keeps saying that you want to see him more than summers.
3. Stop trying to buy SS's affection.
4. SS is not innocent anymore.
5 SS does not like to interact with kids his age...this is an issue.
6. Stop letting him play you against BM. She does that enough.
7. I'm tired of hearing about how much SS doesn't call you. You've known that for a long time. You two only talk when he calls you. Man up or let it go!

1. Your daughter is spoiled
2. Your daughter will continue to act spoiled and get worse if you do not stop rewarding bad behavior
3. Your daughter needs to learn to do what you say, WHEN you say it and BECAUSE you said it, not because she'll get a treat or be taken to the park
4. Your daughter needs to sleep in her own bed
5. Your daughter needs to learn to go to sleep without you in the room
6. Your daughter is three and needs to go to bed before 9pm
7. Just because something won't hurt your daughter doesn't mean she needs it
8. Saying "no" to your child will not scar her
9. Your daughter needs to learn that just because we leave the house, it doesn't mean she'll get new toys and candy
10. Your daughter needs to learn that when two people are talking, she needs to be quiet and wait her turn
11. The reason your daughter does not stop crying when you tell her to is because she knows that if she stays at it long enough, you'll give in. Which is why she says, "I'll stop crying if you give me what I want" or "I WON'T stop crying until you give me what I want"
12. I do not like having to alter plans because your three year old doesn't like the original plans
13. I am not a life size barbie doll, I am a person and my world is not consumed with your child and I do not live to be her entertainment. I know she likes me, and I like her, but sometimes I need space or rest
14. I will not be bossed around by your child (or any child for that matter) like you are so when she TELLS me to do something, I'm going to ignore her
15. She just threw a tantrum, no I will not accompany you to the park to make her happy again
16. She is like this and it's all you and your ex's fault

1. your youngest is a sociopath, just like your Ex
2. you allow them to shit all over me and then lie to my face that they Like me!
3. your kids are the most spoiled little jerks I have ever met. no accountability at all
4. you're such a door mat - its hard to watch how they run all over you.
5. your ex is a C%^t (YES IS SAID IT)who maligns and manipulates to get her way
6. they lay around and sleep all day with nothing to do but go to the mall and play video games.
(how about a volunteer job, or an activity they can enjoy)
7. they treat my kids terribly and me with absolutely no respect! they make fun of my little ones weight
8. I watch my kids volunteer and have kindness and respect for others while yours just keep getting spoiled. sickening!

I don't necessarily dislike my stepkids but the 11 year old has been awful this summer...

SD7
Stop thrusting your hips and chest out like an exotic dancer everywhere. it's weird.
Not everybody thinks you're adorable, in fact they would be quite disgusted to find out you wet your pants practically everyday still. And the fact that you just sit around in it and get pee all over our house is disgusting.

SD11
Quit complaining about everything under the sun, especially when people buy you dinner or new clothes. I hate they way you constantly whine to dad after I get you in trouble. I hate the fact you are lazy and get out of bed at 11 everyday. I hate the face you refuse to shower, you're gross at times. I hate the fact that you refuse to go outside unless forced. It's getting annoying how you have to hug everyone constantly but then go to you BM's house and talk about how cruel we are down here because we make you clean your room and eat stuff besides chicken nuggets every night. I hate the fact that every time you don't get your way you tear up like a 4 year old and have a tantrum.

I really do not think you all would want to hear me rant. My verbage would contain several four letter words, a lot of blaming, a lot of insulting, and probably make me talk to a lawyer about a divorce.

My words would speak venom that would make even the strongest person head for the hills. As I told DH, don't make me use words you can't understand...

LOL

Here's what I'd say.

Your kid is not very smart, nor is she terribly talented or remarkable. Nothing about her is particularly special. She has no personality. She is boring. It isn't funny when she swears. Grow up and wake up and smell the fucking coffee.

I'd say:
1. Your child is not this gorgeous little girl that is only your spawn. I look at your child and see your ex- from her super low hairline, the huge neck and the faces she makes.
2. Yes she manipulates- despite your wildest refusal- and yes your child is selfish.
3. She plays you like a fiddle- I get refusal to pick up, no "thank you" from her and when you get home she's sweeter than pie and will say "thank you" 15 times to you for merely passing her a fork.
4. She hates anything that doesn't center around her- that's why she dislikes our engagement and wedding photos.
5. I am not equally responsible for her- you and your mom raise her- I will do a lot but I'm still going to go to the gym or see my friends- my life doesn't revolve around you and your exs child.
6 bottom line- she's a kid not a superhero in waiting. she's normal- no more no less caring than other kids- not extra talented or smart either.
7. lets raise her not worship her.

1) Your mom may be pretty, cool and have a million friends, but she has never worked a day in her damn life, and if you end up like her you are fucked.
2) She sends you to summer camp every day because she does not want to be around you! It is not my fault.

To DH about SD13...

1. no- she's not cute.

2. it's not a sense of 'style'... it is ghetto chic since her BM doesn't use any CS on the skid. Same shoes one pair... all year.... one pair of flip flops... ALL year... they were so nasty, they stayed on the porch.

3. other than you, her BM and her grandma, EVERYONE thinks she is odd. Strange behaviour, moods, thought process.

4. its called shampoo... show her how to use it. oh and the other stuff- YES! SOAP!

5. she is BFF's with one child... one...

6. your dd is not stupid. She is manipulated by that POS you copulated with a few times. allowing her to be just as horrible as her BM is allowing for the cycle of dumbassery to continue.

7. you have no power because you handed it over to BM.

8. there is one bitch in this house and that's me. BM has no say in what I do. EVER. PERIOD...

You are my BF, I love you. However your kids are NOT our kids so I don't want to live under the same roof with them. I never want you to not be a father, just don't force me to be anything to them. They can go live with their mother FULL TIME and you can go see them, spend time with them somewhere else, but NEVER let them stay or bring any dirt into OUR house. There I said it.

I'm NOT sk's parent and will probably never have the connection you want to see. I'm in a relationship with YOU not sk. I know sk comes as part of the deal, but I'm in it to be with you, not your child.

Your kids smell SO bad and I tell you ALL the time how disgusting they smell. WHY don't you make them shower more?? I've told you many times that I feel uncomfortable telling two kids that I don't know very well to wash their gross bodies, why can't you just man up and do it?! Maybe they can brush their teeth while they're at it. They look like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown, with a cloud of flies and dirt surrounding them all the time. It's no wonder your 13 year old daughter has no friends.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe how horrible and guilty I feel but kind of... relieved at the same time for writing that!

"7. lets raise her not worship her." - sadieladie, love it!

I would say:
1. Your son is a liar!
2.Your son is a thief!
3 What you think is cute and funny now won't be in 2 yrs!
4. By trying not to be your father, you're doing more damage.
5. WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!

Wow. What a cool post....
I would say to my SO: You are treating your daughter like a 4 year old and she is soon to be a tween. You think you are an awesome parent but you have turned your kid into a real weirdo and completely helpless. She is a social retard. Her baby habits aren't cute. She is homely and has no sense of style and grace. You have completely infantilized her to the point that she has bad bathing habits and generally poor hygiene. That is 100% your fault. You have no follow though.
To my Sd I would say: grow up. Your thumb sucking makes you look stupid. I am embarrassed to be around you most of the time. You dress like a baby. You can't match clothes to save your life. You are the laziest kid I have ever met. You are not cute. You are not funny. You are not talented and you are not that smart. If you don't start to assume some responsibility I am going to make your life hell. I will never let up on you. This is my house, not yours. You are not the boss. You follow my rules. If you want me to even give you the time of day, you better listen to me.

1- Your kids are nuts.

2- Your daughter quit hs, is living with a 34 year old anarchist and is now working for a bookie, delivering gambling money overseas. You have no problem with this??? No wonder DCF wanted you to take a psychological test. I know you're impressed with these so called intellectuals who share your crazy political views. When she gets herself in deep crap, please don't come crying to me. You are on your own...

3- Your sons are average. Accept it. They won't be following you to the ivy league.

4- Your kids have little respect for older people. Example-- The way they've ignored and hurt not only my mother, but your sainted late mother. That was their own bio grandmother. A woman who bailed you out when you went bankrupt and cried when your kids refused to talk to her. : ( You wondered why she wanted to disinherit them... She died very unhappy thanks to their cruel treatment.

5- Your father in law (from previous) marriage is a bad influence. He helped them to try to break up our marriage. He told my stepson to tell me to go "Sh-t in a hat and throw it out a window" Rejected my mother, walked out on my xmas dinner and made an anti semitic comment to me on Easter Sunday. (I am Christian.)Why have you never confronted him???

6-- While on the topic of religion, will you please tell your kids and their crew that I am not Jewish. I know they use anti Semitism to abuse me and my mom. If you are ok with them calling you horrible names and throwing pennies at you on a high holy days, fine. I am not ok with your daughter's ex bf picking up a matzoh and singing an Italian song at me. Or with your father in law calling me a "NY Jew". I am not ok with any of it. To screw this up even more, please tell your youngest stepson, he is not allowed to disparage my Christian beliefs. I don't care that he is an atheist. I am not very religious, but deserve some respect on Christmas Eve.

I am so sorry I think I went totally off topic.

So much I would say to him about his kids and bad parenting. (A lot of what I read on these boards is what I am experiencing.) Sadly, I've said it all and he does not listen. Some times he reminds me of a freaking Zombie!!! Just in time for Halloween... lol.

Thanks for listening.

What I would say to dh about ss?

I told you so.

I would say:

You Daughter is your EX-Wife in training!

Oh lawdy! To DH, they are your sons, not your buddies. They are almost men, not kids! (17 and 18) they smell terrible! Tell them to shower! Why did you let them run from their mommies' to escape chores and be lazy assh*les in my house? Why do you keep telling me I have a voice in all of this only to dismiss my plea for you to discipline them? Why were you such a nasty ass to my son and they can do no wrong? Why is my daughter expected to pick up after them when they don't? Why are you still letting BM take 800 per month for a damn kid that doesn't even live with her!!?
And why don't you see that I am in my room all time or not home when I have a chance.... It wasn't like this before.

You and bio mom need to get your sh*t together and co-parent this kid. Then maybe he wouldn't be such an angry, entitled, spoiled brat with no manners.I will not carry the blame for your relationship with your son. Me coming into your life is no excuse for not seeing him. It's not my fault if you're a lazy coward and and bio mom is self centered, self righteous, fake, and manipulative. This is your sh*t to deal with. Not mine! I want nothing to do with your baby or your baby mama drama. So from now on don't look to me to help with child support, birthday parties, christmas gifts, or when you can't man up to your ex. This is a mess you created and I don't want to spend one more dime or one more second cleaning it up.

1. Your daughter at 5 should not be still wearing a diaper to bed. She should be completely potty trained. Your mothering skills suck.
2. I refuse to have kids with you because of your shotty parenting skills.
3. You will not bully, intimidate, or use aggression toward me to get your way. I will fight you every step of the way even if it kills me.
4. Your a parent, not her "friend". She will end up a nightmare, 16 and pregnant, alcoholic, won't go to school, and do whatever she wants. You created this, no one else. Have fun getting phone calls from the school because she cannot behave. I warned you.
5. Keep your terrorist daughter away from my son. He doesn't like her and I appreciate just how honest he really is. I wish I was more like that.

Well, I woke up to a literal 500 word rant on my FB page that literally started out, "You manipulate my dad." Uh, no you and your sister and brother are demons. I have been with my husband for 8 years and I'm to sit quietly in a corner while these idiots have free reign of the home I PAID for, and as long as my wallets open and my mouth is shut, everything is kosher. Facts are facts, the oldest is 23 and the youngest is 17, and after 8 years of abuses, I wish to God I COULD manipulate their dad, because I would manipulate him right out of the country so I never have to see or hear these idiots again. They only call my husband when they want money, or something else financially, they never see him, but now all that's my fault. I love my husband, but I'm just not cut out for this anymore. If he would have had no children, things would have been better. I'm just sad, hurt and angered and I don't want to continue being held quietly in a corner while people berate me. For the last 7 years I have done nothing but attempt to forge a positive relationship with these children, to be verbally abused and demeaned in public and humiliated. WHen the oldest found out she was pregnant, I made her and the baby all sorts of wonderful things. The clincher is the youngest has lived with us full time for the last 6 years and is now 17. This is the first christmas in all those years his bio mother got him anything. She is a whore who refuses to work and has (documented) 3 and 6-somes in front of the children. Im the one who makes his lunch, buys what he needs, helps him with homework, and goes to all his games. But he told me two days ago, that I need to learn my place, I'm not really in this family, I just happened to be married to his dad, I don't mean anything to any of them, and can I have $20? I see why women drive cars full of children into lakes.

1) Your little boy is being pussified as he's raised by BM and her whore brigade of friends, princess sisters and art fag of a boyfriend. He is 7 and puncuates every conversation with "like" and thinks batting his lashes and talking like a baby makes him "cute". It's effeminate, disturbing and unnatural.

2) Quit coddling your son and acting like it's okay that he lacks social awareness. He's seven, not a dog. He can get off his DS and join us for dinner, say "hello" to our friends, and use "please" and "thank you". His being torn between two homes (come off it) doesn't excuse him to being a self absorbed, socially stunned ingrate.

3) He's not that cute - blonde and blue eyed? Borrring... next.

4) Give up the hockey dream already. It's been 3 years and he cries when you take him to the rink, complains that his feet hurt regardless of what brand-new skates you buy him, and hates watching the game on TV.

5) He's not cute... did I mention that?

6) When he says things like "mummy said to make sure you ask you to buy me *whatever fucking thing he wants today*" you need to CHECK your stupid ex. It's not our financial responsibility to provide any toy he wants, because her lazy ass feels like being a part time lash tech.

7) Every time your kid is around I feel like I fall a little more out of love with you. It disgusts me that this child you created with this idiot other woman holds so much power over you, and causes you to doormat yourself to both their needs. Man up, draw some boundaries and find your balls!! I feel like my balls are bigger, and I'm the bitch because of it? Get real.

1- i think its icky that you slept in the same bed as your child until she was 12 years old!

2 - i think its icky that your daughter leaves her dirty and clean underwear on the floor and then expects you to do her laundry

3 - yes she is a good kid, and a good student and generally well mannered, though her table manners leave much to be desired... but she is a spoiled lazy brat!

4 - your daughter does not cry tears of diamonds that will scrape her face as they come down her cheek

5- protecting her and coddling her are two different things

6 - teach her what a broom is for and how to hold the stick that is attached to it!

7 - you are a good father but I find you to be a mediocre parent.. with no clue how to actually raise a child!

8 - i do not intend on spending one more penny of my hard earned money on your ungrateful, messy child!

-----------that was awesome!

This is fun

Sdipshit is a horrible mother and is never going to change.
She's decent looking and not as gorgeous as you think.
She is a loser…..you judge everyone around her, her boyfriend, her ex, her friends and yet fail to realize that your daughter is ALL of those qualities that you hate.
Sdipshit is not going to stop mooching off of people until they stop
SD is pregnant with another kid and she doesn't take care of her first….. what does that tell you
BM looks like she was rode hard and put away wet while getting kicked and punched along the way……your SD looks JUST like her mother……connect the dots?
Every move your daughter makes is with the intention to manipulate….so every proud moment you have when you think she's changing like the other 1,000 times over the years…..shes not,sorry.
If my kids are half as bad as your daughter when they are adults I will beat my head into a wall.
Your daughter has no manners, your granddaughter has no manners.

That is all

I would tell her the same thing I have told her for the past 19+ years.

Thanks for making me a dad and trusting me to help raise the Skid.

I would say....

In all the time your stupid bitch daughter has spent calling you and whining to you about how unfair life is, she could have found another job.

She got fired from Burger King?? Really? How does that even happen?

Her, her husband, and their fvcking kid are NOT moving into our house. Ever.

Stop telling me about how rough they have it! I do not care.

I did not put them in this situation, and I will not get them out of it. They are adults.

They are NOT moving into our house. Ever.

Thank you for creating this thread! Some of these stories gave me a chuckle even though I feel like screaming uncontrollably at my own situation until a little white truck pulls up and carts me off. It seems that is the only way I will get some peace and quiet. May I vent now? This is what I would like to say to DH..

1. Your son is annoying as hell, in every way, shape and form. He is 13 yrs old and acts like he is 5. The kid has never been disciplined by you. Since he came to live with us full time, you don't spend enough time with him to realize how obnoxious he acts. You work 2nd shift so I spend the majority of the time with him. I work 40 hrs. a week as well and spend every night alone with him. I need "me" time. He is not my child. I am not his BM. I should not be treated like hired help. I feel like a single mom and he isn't even my kid!

2. When he grabs your breasts and giggles is just creepy. Instead of yelling your head off at him, get the freak a check up from the neck up.

3. I am tired of reminding your kid to poop. If he holds it for a month, I don't care if he internally combusts. He is 13 not a baby. Again, seek professional help for him and you.

4. You know The ps4 that you both refuse to move from the living room which I can hear your kid non stop babble and screaming because our bedroom is only 10 feet away? I accidently smashed it into a millon pieces while dusting. Oh so sorry.

5. Both of you are lazy. Sick of hearing about how you both gained weight. I am not responsible for what you shove in your pieholes. I am not Jenny Craig. I also know that running the vacuum burns more calories than running your mouths.

6. Sick of you undermining my attempts to discipline the little shit.

7. Tired of this kid picking up your bad habits. When you call me "Woman" when joking around before your kid came along was funny at times. Now that your spawn is mimicking you by calling me the same. the next time he says "hey woman", I am going to respond "what do you want asshole"? He will be addressed as "asshole" until this behavior stops.

8. I hope during your son's visitation time with his BM, she buys him a puppy so he doesn't want to come back.

9. You see how your 17 year old daughter turned out. She is spoiled rotten and grew up acting the same way your son is acting now. She doesn't even call you on your birthday or even have the decency to call to thank us for things we send to her. I can say one thing though, I do agree with her when she said her brother is annoying. I might just give her a call on her cell phone we pay for and have her come for a visit. I recall that your son was better behaved when she was around. Maybe it is because she got away with slapping the shit out of him. Since I can't and won't, maybe she can knock some sense into him.

10. You annoy me too. I can't tell you how many times I have planned my escape. I play it out in my head more than you will ever know. I will pack up and leave your baggage behind!

..........Wow, that venting did feel GREAT! Thanks

Dear DH and SD13,

I have raised SD13 with DH for 7 years. BM is a psychopath who lost all visitation and contact for many years, has NEVER raised SD but has ONLY abandoned her. So SD13...you're BM is the most amazing piece of crap in the universe huh? She of course brought you to counseling for over a year because of your PTSD and attachment issues caused by me or caused by BM? Yup, you said it BM! You are an ungrateful, lonely, depressing individual with an ugly personality. You are miserable and therefore cause me undeserved misery. I have only raised you, brought you to the doctor's when you were sick, met with your teachers, helped you with HW, tucked you into bed at night, made you dinner, brought you shopping, and I know what your likes and dislikes are. Although, you do not remember ever residing with your BM (because it never happened), pleasing her and sh*tting on me is the most important thing in your world right now. You have disappointed me to no end, frustrated me, made me feel like a failure, and made me hate and resent the person that I have raised. I no longer acknowledge you as my daughter or family member, it is a hardship and sense of hurt for me should I do so.

DH, you do not deserve me. You do not get to ask me to help you raise SD13 again, after I checked out for a long period due to you and her taking advantage and not caring about my feelings. You have too much baggage you do not want to deal with, you prefer to silence all problems in hopes that they will go away. You think I'm the crazy one for having feelings and concerns and for bringing them to light to work on them together. I am a witch, I am harsh and hard on SD. How dare you criticize me for my "parenting" when I was always the ONE to care for your child, after me disengaging and you asking for my help because you can't do it alone. How dare you???! You deserve the girlfriend you knocked up, the high school drop out, who never has paid child support, who collects welfare and claims SD13 (I've had to turn her into fraud every year), who can abandon SD and start new families with more illegitimate children equally as screwed up. I am educated, have an excellent job, have no baggage (other than you and this life), have no children (though I really want MY OWN), and take care of my appearance...you better thank your lucky stars because I'm going to start patting myself on my back for the apparent crappy job I've done raising your and a psycho's child.

Good night & thank you!

Dear SS12

I've been avoiding you on your visitation weekends for months now because I don't want to go to your basketball games, and your baseball games, and your soccer games because guess WHAT. You crying when your team is WINNING by 30 points is NOT cute. You get so frustrated when something doesn't go your way; it's pathetic. You are so competitive I think your dad needs to take you to a shrink. You cry when your PS4 beats you in any sports game. It rages me. How do your friends not make fun of you yet??? How do your team mates look at you??? Oh gosh he's crying again and we're winning the game.....such a spoiled brat. Do you enjoy your two laptops, cellphone, ipad, ipod, ps2, wii, xbox, gameboy....the list can go on and on. Oh and also the next time you take a ride with your dad in my grandfathers olds sportscar that is now mine, I swear to god I will slap you silly if you think its "yours" in anyway just because it's at a house you think is "yours"....mine mine mine me me me me me cry cry cry cry. I seriously don't want you in my grandfathers car and I can't tell my futureDH that it pisses me off because its completely outrageous and petty but UGH it makes me mad.

Your BM grandparents buy you a phone that you lose constantly and leave behind and your dad's house so he has to run it back to you because your BM can't get off her ass and use her car or gas. SHE NEVER DRIVES. I am going to glue that thing to your face.

If you piss in the toilet one more Fking time and don't flush I am going ....I don't know I need to think of something, but god it's gross. RAGE

The fact that your BM and her family are constant "one uppers" on us make me sick. Congrats on your new puppy that your mom "found", I find it hilarious that BM texts my FDH to say he (ss12) needs to come home before dark to pick up dog shit. (FutureDH is like....no this is my time with him, he can pick up ur dogs shit on ur time) lol BM got him a new dog a few months after DH and I adopted one .......so typical. ss12 "Now I have two dogs!" YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

***So.... ss12....I've been taking primate behavior classes and it all makes FREAKING sense. See, in the wild, if a sub-dominant female is pregnant from the dominant male, the dominant female might harass her into a miscarriage, or if the baby is born she will kill it in some cases. SEE now little ss12,this is why I won't ever like you one bit. It's not fucking natural. Thank you anthropology professors for this profound information in my degree.****

DH ....your family is no better .....DH mom ....gives ss12 a trip to hawaii for an xmas gift...... seriously?

ss12...taking your god damn plates to the kitchen, I am NOT your maid.

ss12, your basketball game is during the superbowl on sunday......I am going to have my phone cam ready for all of your tears. I am so excited, I told everyone at work about the meltdown that is about to happen!

STOP reporting everything to your BM. It's annoying and I feel like I can't even be around you anymore, which is why you haven't seen me in months.

I hate how my own mother tells me that you aren't that bad and how you sit on my dads lap like you own the place and now you get 3 sets of grandparents to spoil you. Work your magic kid, but you won't work it on me.

I hate you. So. much.

PS. Your BM is a manipulative angry bitch. Your dad worked so she could finish her degree and now she just wants to play games. I swear to god if we go to pick you up at school one more time and you aren't there because your BM gave you permission to go to a friends house and NOT TELL US I am going to have your teacher handcuff you to a lamp post outside of school on Fridays when we come to get you.

Ahhh nice.

Thank Jeebus I got out. Your kids are some of the most needy, stupid, manipulative, spoiled people I have ever met. I want to see you stick up for them and your ridiculous style of non-parenting in 15 years when they're still living at home, are still completely dysfunctional, and have failed at life.

I'd tell my DH to stop coddling his daughter. He was still turning the shower on for her at 11!?!? She sleeps to a tape of music every night that she's had since I guess she was 3. Sometimes if it stops while she's still awake she'll get up and come get him and ask him to "flip it" for her 'cause she "doesn't know how." What!?!? She's 12!?!? She can put her dishes away. She can clean her room. She can learn to do a few chores and actually clean up after herself. Recycling goes in the recycling bin - stop tossing everything in the trash!

just that I'm looking forward to them growing up so I don't have to deal with it so much. I get sick of the burden and hassle that I feel when they are visiting.

I've tried to love your kid. I can appreciate his singing sometimes.

I am not a doormat.

I am not free to be abused by a child or situation just b/c things are changing in people lives!
There's somethings that SHOULD have changed before you even started dating or we wouldn't have had so many arguments:

a seven year old shouldn't be taking showers with his father

he should not have to wear diapers at night and still be in nighttime potty training

he should know how to wash his hair so he doesn't smell

you should try and remember what it's like to want to be in love and how women are supposed to be treated before just adding one as a sidekick to your drama

you dad doesn't help by also treating him like an infant.

he doesn't know how to do anything for himself b/c before me no one ever expected him to zip his own damn pants

he's not as dumb as you think, he thinks your stupid,

he laughs at you behind your back and can bring on the tears and puppy face like a sociopath

i will tolerate him but I don't care to hear in our down time and alone time about him at all period
I shouldn't have had to listen to this shit in our first year of dating, i shouldn't have had to play coparent with someone elses infantile child

almost everything he does is to gain power of you or get attention - he doesn't act the same way with me, he acts closer to his age b/c i expect him to

your friends that are shitty will always be that way I dont' even understand how you have them in your life seems like you have enough problems w/o shitty friendships

things are better now but looking back i shouldn't have stayed with you I will NEVER ever ever go through what I went thru this past year again ever

the biograndparents are nice people but they aren't my family or yours and I don't need to have them over whenever they choose - you should start considering my family as your family These are crazy BM's parent and stepdad, they aren't my family however nice they are i don't need them in my space whenever they feel like it - maybe you should give them some of his 8 year old school photos so that they don't treat him like the 2 year old they still hold dear to their hearts

no one even knows how old he is b/c he's small and immature - but only when you're around

i'm tired of the faking sick and fake throw ups
i'm tired of hearing from the child "when we lived in the other house dad and I ...."
I'm tired of him hugging on me or making snarky faces when I come home then pretending to love me b/c you want him to. it's mostly fake so I now just keep to myself I've learned my lesson the hard way

i don't care... about whatever it is story you want to tell me about him I don't care you're naive

1) I hate your daughters. They are a nightmare and I feel like vomiting when they come b ack from their BM. They are spoiled and entitled and it makes me sick when they throw fits every minute when they don't get everything they want. My son is perfect and they are a terrible influence. Luckily they haven't affected him yet, but if they do it will not be pretty. They know I don't love them and I know they want me to. I try so hard but it will never happen unless, well, they change their whole personalities.

2) I wish so much you would step up and start disciplining more. You making me be the bad guy only stresses me out, keeps them from following the rules and makes me hate them more. It makes me hate you a little bit too, even though I love you..

3) When the fuck are you going to get a real job? Like a job that isn't at lowes? You were an electrician. If you would go the fuck back you might make less to start but one day you would make way more than you would ever make at lowes and we would be able to get out of this fucking 2 bedroom apt, into a house, have a baby of our own, put our children through college one day etc. you aren't thinking about our future! All you think about is next month and oh yeah as long as you can support your pot habit you're good, right? Fuck you! I stopped bitching about it a couple years ago but I'd love for nothing more than you to get a fucking real job.

4) Ok, I'm jealous of your ex. I said it. She's skinny and pretty, she's got the car I want, the house I wish we lived in. Not sure why she can do it as a single mom with 4 kids but you can't do it for us with my income too. You were with her for 8 years, I know everything and I'm jealous but it's gotten better. I hate her too because she's psycho and bipolar. You also don't stand up to her enough and we fight about her too much and this should not be an issue. Fuck you for that!

5) again, my son is perfect. You have the nerve to complain about stupid crap like forgetting to pick up his towel or clear the table when your demon spawns complain and cry about everything? They fight all the time, I could yell at them probably every 5 minutes because they never do anything right. My son lost his tooth and writes to the tooth fairy telling the tooth fairy to give his money to a kid who needs it. He got an award for most improved for self control in the classroom yesterday and gets to eat lunch with the principal. He says I love you constantly. Yet he runs to give you a hug and you say "get off me Connor!" You have no reason to feel this way, but I have every reason to feel this way about the girls!

6) you need to control your parents! They are poisoning our kids with mcdonalds, donuts, candy and junk food constantly!!!!!!! You won't say anything???? I've tried and they don't listen!!

Wow this feels so good to say... I love the other posts too... When I'm really feeling it I'm totally going to read these again, we aren't alone guys.

1. Your kid is annoying on so many levels
2. Why the hell does she have to eat so loudly? She sounds like a cow! Do you not hear it?? Are you deaf???
3. When I sit on MY couch, I don't want SD13 cuddling up to me. I like my personal space. I don't want her head or feet on my lap! I DONT WANT HER TO TOUCH ME!
4. If she asks me one more time if I think she's pretty I will probably slit my throat to avoid answering her and stroking her ego.
5. WHY DOES YOUR DAUGHTERS ROOM SMELL LIKE CHINESE FOOD??????
6. Pay more attention to your kid when she is at our house!
7. SD13 is not upstairs taking a "nap". Shes texting her friends and taking selfies in the mirror.
8. She lies. About everything. Are you stupid??
9. She is NOT sick! Shes lazy and doesn't want to go to school because she gets attention from BM when she's home. Put a stop to this now because when she is 18 and cant get a job because she has no education and probably is on her second kid she will NOT be living with us.
10. It creeps me out that you still kiss SD13 on the lips. I stopped kissing my dad when I was like 7. I have no kids of my own so maybe that's just me. But its WEIRD!!

That felt good....

Ok, here goes. From SD to wife- SS 7y/o, I'm the only "Dad" he knows.

1. When I say "your "s feet stink, I mean they f'ing STINK so get his ass in the bath.
2. Do I really have to say the same thing every F'ing night for 5 years and you still treat me like the asshole for wanting your prince to eat over his plate and not get food all over his clothes and the floor?
3. Your child is the most spoiled child I've ever met. I'm sure there are more spoiled children in the world, but I haven't met them yet.
4. Discipline your child! I assure you that you don't want ME to (though you throw a F'ing fit if I tell him to stop running in the supermarket).
5. He's 7 years old... You'd think he can notice he's gotta shit before he drops pants in front of the house to shit on the doorstep.
6. Bath. Every other night. And he needs to wash EVERYTHING. Don't just giggle when he "forgets" to wash his hair.
7. His hair is not cute. His curls are not coming back. He looks like he's wearing a F'ing football helmet on his head.
8. If you want to use the money that I work my ass off for to buy him every damn thing he wants, I get a say in how to raise him. If not, get a fucking job and stop volunteering at his elementary school so you can spend more time with him. You have a fucking degree (which I paid for) and are working on your Master's.
9. You volunteering at your son's school every day and taking him to sports that he doesn't want to play after school 3 times a week and twice on weekends doesn't mean you have a "job" and exclude you from doing any housework. I am the sole provider for our family, pick up a fucking broom once in a while.
10. There is a reason I don't want SS in our bedroom/bathroom. He's dirty, he stinks, his feet STINK, and my side of the bed is closest to the door so he's gonna crawl over MY shit to get to you.
11. He's 7 years old. Been potty trained for almost 5 years. How long does it take to learn how to NOT shit on the side of the toilet? (we have asian toilets, so they're different than in the states). Oh, and BTW... teach your son how to flush the toilet!! Walking upstairs after I've been at work all day and you guys aren't home yet from school/soccer and smelling SHIT, is not cool.
12. The kitchen sink was not designed for seeing how high you can let dishes stack. If you refuse to let me do the dishes (because I'm retarded and don't know how to load a dishwasher), then DO THE F'ing dishes on the regular!
13. That smell you smell when you open the fridge? That's the food you refuse to throw away that you know I'm not gonna eat.
14. I provide an AWESOME life for you and your son. You've been around the world on vacations and live in ASIA, FFS. Stop stabbing me in the back every time I tell your prince that he's acting like an idiot.
15. Your son doing his homework does not entail you telling him exactly what he needs to write or enter in RazKids & IXL. Your son is in "gifted and talented" because YOU do all his damn homework for him. He's really night that bright. You'd think a kid in gifted and talented for MATH could tell you what 13-6=?
16. That gigantic dining room table? Yeah, it's not a place for your son's toys to pile up and we just eat around them.
17. "Lick it and stick it" is NOT romantic. Just sayin'. Ya want some lovin? Act like it.
18. Stop treating your 7 y/o son like a baby. Make him tie his own shoes. A baseball cap is not supposed to flop around on his head, tighten it so it's snug and tell him to man the fuck up when he cries that it's too tight.
19. You want me to be "Dad"? Support me. Stand beside me. Don't degrade me in front of your son or deliberately tell him the exact opposite of what I just told him.

The end.... but I could go on FOREVER.

I would love to air everything off my chest and tell him, not sure it would go down well though...SD9 and SS5...

1. When both children can't get what they want and have a crying, screaming, kicking tantrum...IGNORE THEM...do not give in because it is easier. It makes the situation WORSE!!

2. When your daughter screams at me, I want to knock her head off with a a big, fat, heavy shovel and then she'll have a reason to scream.

3. When SD9 tells everyone else what to do including, me, OH, and SS, all I can think is when did I become the child?

4. Teach your children some manners!!! SS is getting better always says his please and thank you's now but SD...WOW! If I acted like she does, around my dad, even now, he would knock my head off!

5. What happened to good old, discipline and punishments?

6. You're daughter has to realise she is not an only child and she has a little brother, so she cannot have all of you're attention ALL of the time. She cannot do what SHE wants to all of the time, she has to SHARE!!! She is 9 not 2!

7. Teach you're 9 yo to talk properly, 'ain't' is not a word and talking like a baby is NOT cute!

8. You're son is 5, he can dress himself, wipe his own bottom, put his own (Velcro) shoes on, get out of the bath himself...

Wow feels good to rant and rave ahaha but best one is...

9. We got a puppy for the kids for Christmas, he is now 4/5 months old. Every time the kids go to bed he goes into his crate/bed because he gets them excited and they get him excited...Every time he goes in the crate/bed...I get kicking, screaming, crying tantrums from SD because ''It's not fair''...and every time my OH goes and tells her she can have him on her bed, before he goes in his crate which makes it TEN times worse, when he does go in. He knows the rules, its not fair on the dog or us because we then have a hyper dog on our bed when we are trying to relax and have quiet time.

10. The dog is not a toy. Tell you're SD to put him on the floor, stop carrying him everywhere and no matter how many times we tell her do not get him too excited because he will either scratch you or nip nose, trying to play...she stills gets him riled up...and then she goes home with scratches on her and BM goes mental at my OH...

Your kids are so far behind others their age mentally and emotionally,... it scares me sometimes because I wonder if they will ever grow up into mature adults in any way.

Oh and by the way, your daughters are so starved for attention they are going to end up pregnant as soon as they are alone with a boy. And your son is going to get screwed over by a girl in the exact same way you did.... so please don't act surprised when it happens

1. Your daughter's lying and manipulations are the reasons I've disengaged.
2. No, she does not have a good singing voice. Please stop encouraging her to sing.
3. No 15 year old should have to be told to have a shower.
4. Your lack of discipline with her so you're not 'the heavy' is the reason she is the way she is. It's not all your ex's fault!
5. I will watch her like a freakin' hawk and she will get away with NOTHING! I am tired of her talking her way out of things. I will call her on her shit from now on. Every. Single. Time.
6. Your 'do as I say and not as I do' attitude is highly ineffective.
7. Her laugh makes me want to rip my ears off my own head and I think I've developed an eye twitch because of it.
8. When she says she's sorry, she doesn't mean it. Ever.
9. She is almost 16, there are no more excuses for her not having a job.
10. The next time she says 'what do I get for it' when asked to help around the house, the answer from me will be 'you will get food to eat this weekend and be allowed to sleep in the bed I bought you.'
11. She doesn't call you because she doesn't want to talk to you. BM is not stopping her.
12. We are nothing but a joke to her. She only is nice when she wants something. You fall for it every time.
13. She is spoiled, entitled, socially inept, manipulative, disrespectful, ungrateful and I am counting the days till she's 18.

Wow...I feel better

1. Your daughters are annoying. They talk incessantly, about nothing
2. Your ex-wife is not a good mother, stop saying that. A good mother does not openly admit to using her children as weapons against her ex.
3. You call your daughters 'princesses' and 'babies', well, that's what you are helping create. Spoiled, helpless princess babies.
4. I don't like your firstborn. Honestly, I doubt she is yours, but that's not the point. Point is she is the spitting image of BM, in looks and personality, and she is only going to get worse.
5. The day you told me you no longer expected me to babysit your brats for you was one of the happiest days I've had in a long time, I cannot thank you enough.
6. I don't want to be around your kids 99.9999% of the time. On the rare occasion I do, they usually remind me why I don't.
7. I am scared to have a child with you for fear it is a girl.

SS9 - your son is not funny, he is a rude, manner less,whiny brat that has ruined every single effort we have ever made to go out and do ANYTHING. Not everything is boring. We don't have to entertain his brattiness. His sister is 5 years older she is entitled to things he doesn not. They are not equals. And it's too damn bad if he thinks it's unfair. And dammit he is a dirt ball and doesn't need to argue with you every time he is told to get a bath. And also little shit doesn need to ignore you and play video games until bed time and then be given his dessert that he slowly eats just to stay up longer. It's annoying. He's annoying. The way you mother and baby him is nauseating. You are lazy and need to mother the little bastard and not giggle at the asshole stiff he does. He's 9 he shouldn't be an asshole. It is awful you do not allow 14 yr old daughter to do things just so you don't have to deal with him whining. Wow
Sorry. That was a lot.

Sometimes i don't think words do enough thats when i just go silent and creep the whole family out by not ranting and raving... Or in severe cases i just send a text to my husband ( who's away working for long periods) along the lines of this;
" Can't find the real gun, had to use the nerf gun instead, kids alright but a little sore"
" Got a fine from the council for putting the kids bodies in the recycling bin instead of the household waste one"
He doesn't immediatly come home, but i do get a phone call from him to reassure himself that i havent done it.

That. Is. Awesome.

Until now, these are things I've only said to my sister in my weekly bitch-fests when we hang out. A lot of these have been brought up to SOME, but definitely with a loooooot of extra sugar coating.

To SO about SS6:

1. Your kid is not f*cking special. To anyone that's not bio related to him, he's your average little brat with an inflated ego thanks to his entire family. (You, grandparents, uncles, BM and all of her family too). The world does not and never will revolve around your precious baby prince. So give him the reality check he's well over due and STOP letting him try and completely take over every social situation. You know 20 different species of sharks? Good for you. Some kids can name 20 different countries. Some can name 20 different insects. Do they go around making sure all conversation comes to an immediate hault so they can be the centre of attention? NO!!! Because only self absorbed little POS do that.
2. I'm your SO. Not SS. I've heard all of this about SDs being mini-wives, but what in the f*ck kind of freaky-ass, weird, creepy dynamic are you setting up here? Why should I have to give up MY spot on MY couch that I paid for with MY hard earned money so that your needy little leech of a brat can lay sprawled out across your lap, stroking your face while your hands are perfectly intertwined? CREEEPY! Ok, I don't have any children in my family, and my only real reference is my own childhood. But my brother (now 22) would not have been caught dead doing that with my mom let alone my dad at nearly 7 years old in front of someone else. That is crossing some serious boundaries and makes me sick to my stomach. We have a second couch for a reason... GUESTS, which is exactly what your son is. He's a guest in our home 4 days a month.
3. Table manners still exist! You have them. So why aren't you instilling them in your own son? At 6 nearly 7 years old, you shouldn't be embarassed or worried to take your kid to a restaurant. You also shouldn't need toys and electronics to keep the brat occupied long enough to sit at the table while everyone else eats. Dinners at other peoples' homes have the same rules. You don't give your kid a mouthful, tell him he can go play, and come back in 5 mins for his next one!!! Not only is that a severe choking hazard, but you're not giving him any expectations for manners and common courtesy. Yet another reason your kid is a self absorbed brat.
4. He is NOT a little baby anymore. The fact that you still wipe his ass, bathe him, spoon feed him on occasion, and dress him disgusts me. What a lazy little waste of space you're creating. Asked my mom and she said by 3-4 I was picking out my own outfits and dressing myself, asking if I could get myself a drink etc. By his age I already had two little siblings , 3 and 2, that I would take downstairs on weekend mornings and get us all cereal so as to not wake up my dad (unemployed, lazy, mom had to pick up the slack by working 7 days a week). So don't tell me your little brat can't go to the fridge and pour himself a glass of milk or grab a juice box. He wipes his ass at school (not sure about other countries, but Canada will not accept your child into kindergarten if they are not full self sufficient in the bathroom) why allow him the luxury of having someone wipe his ass every other time? Let his brush his teeth, he's clearly going to need to step up his oral hygiene as he's in for a future of non stop issues (inherited from BM, not sure what it is, all teeth were pulled at age 3 due to no enamel, will have no teeth except the metal capped molars until abou age 8-9)
5. Although you do not have primary custody, that is still YOUR child and you need to grow some balls and stand up for yourself and your son when you disagree with BM's parenting. It is not ok for her to trash talk us to a 6 year old. And it's not ok to not correct that behavior as he's telling you what she said. It's not ok to use sleeping in the dark as a punishment just as it isn't ok to use school work as a punishment at his age. He's just starting his school career, don't have him view learning as a bad thing right out the gate. Put her in her f*cking place once in awhile. Don't drop everything to accommodate her schedule out of fear she won't let you see him. I'd rather prove I have a back bone and not see my kid for a weekend than to allow this behaviour from her to continue.
6. Going with #5, you have every right to take your kid to a doctor on your time with him. Growing up with my brother having ADHD, I can spot it from a mile away. He's exhibiting all the classic symptoms. It's not "cute little quirks". It's disruptive, disrespectful, unhealthy behaviour. And you wonder why he's getting in trouble at school nearly every day for the last 3 years? Can't stay in his seat, blurts things out in class, has no concept of personal space and boundaries and has difficulty controlling his anger? Yeah, ADHD dude. And while we're on the topic, I know he comes from a long line of shorties on both sides of his family tree, but come on, have you really never thought maybe he's a little too undersized? That there might be an actual medical problem there? Would that not be worth looking into? And when you're kid spends all winter with a runny nose and horse voice? Come on!!! You better believe if we had a baby or really any aged bio kids, I will not tolerate a snot nosed little brat spreading his germs all over my house for my family to get sick. He can wait it out at BM's or you can grow some balls and take him to a doctor *gasp!* without her permission.
7. Let's stop pretending that his issues are due to the fact that you and BM aren't together. You left her when he was 1. This is all he knows. This is normal to him. The ridiculous amount of toys for NO REASON other than your own guilt (which is completely unfounded) is making him worse. He's quickly learning manipulation, lying, and acting "sad" gets him his way right away, every single time. When a 6 year old has the nerve to stand up at his birthday party and proclaim to all of his guests "what's wrong with you all? Why would you all get me clothes? I don't want any of them, I want toys!" Does that not indicate a problem? That he may be spoiled rotten and ungrateful? As both you and BM have parents who are happily married, you both don't have the first clue about "children of divorce". You were never married, you dated her for 6 f*cking months, tried to break up with her and surprise she's now pregnant! A little over a year later you leave. What affect would this have on an infant? Next to nothing. As you immediately started paying CS without going to court, and spent every single weekend with him until he was 3, I'm pretty sure he understands that you're his father, you love him, and you and BM are civil for the most part. STOP with the guilt already!! You have nothing to be guilty about. My dad left us when I was 8. I had 8 years to grow with both parents and my siblings and came to know that as my family unit. A few months after the initial move out we had a few visits which dwindled down to nothing. I have not heard from my dad in 16 years. And look at me, Am I broken, incapable of loving or emotionally scared from that? Hell no! I wouldn't trade anything about my wonderful childhood with my amazing Mom who managed to fulfill both parenting roles. At the time though, what I would have given for even 1 day a month with my dad. So no, don't expect sympathy from me if you have to miss a day out of your weekend for work or because it's our anniversary, my birthday etc. I call bs on any behavioural issues being blamed on the parents not living together if that's all the kid has ever known. It's your parenting being outshined by your blind love for this little monster you're creating.
8. I do not, and never will love your son the way you love him, or even the way I love you. Not only am I not your average maternal instinct having kid loving female, I just don't like your kid. He's annoying, obnoxious, rude, ill mannered and a total disruption of my routine. He is a constant reminder of a connection you have with someone else that you don't have with me. Unfortunately for me, you let me fall for you before telling me you had a kid. If I knew from the beginning, you wouldn't have stood a chance. And I know out of everything I've written here, that would probably hurt your feelings the most. But here I am, completely head over heels with your mistake makin' ass, and I have accepted your son. To expect more from me, is unfair. I already don't like that he says I love you to me. I know that he doesn't. He likes me sure. But he's been raised going to this super catholic we all love each other bs school. Love is a strong word and should not be thrown around just because it sounds cute. It's very awkward for me and it doesn't feel natural. I have explained several times that with out some kind of blood relation, it's next to impossible for me to feel love for this child. In my mind, he is your mistake. It's your responsibility to make him feel loved, not mine. I welcome him into my home, try my best to be involved in activities and to tolerate his bad behaviour. I feel I've gone above and beyond what most women my age would have (I'm 25, I was 21 when I met SS). I do appreciate that you have never once expected me to clean up after him, wake up when he wakes up or cook etc for him. I've read a lot of horror stories here already, and I definitely consider myself lucky that you don't hold me to "the mother standard". But you cannot force a bond. It makes me want to completely disengage from anything that doesn't have to do with you and I as a couple.
9. Let's hurry up and get a move on with our own lives. You've accepted that your relationship with this kid will only ever be 4 days a month because of BM. We've talked for years about how we want to get married and we want to start our own family. What are we waiting for? Don't allow her to eat up more of our financial resources than she already has. I know you have the potential to be a great parent in all aspects, you just need a bit of guidance with discipline and boundaries. Weddings and babies of course cost money. We'll probably never have the money that takes just laying around as extra cash. Cut back on toys for the ungrateful monster, and maybe tell BM that unless she starts living within her means ie, putting SS in subsidized day care at community centres instead of the $1000 a month private day care, put him in activities at ymca/community centre instead of these ridiculous acting classes. And we can have what we want for our lives in no time.

Oh god that felt too good. I really don't want to hate SS but it's the competing for SO's attention every other weekend that i can't deal with and has really got me starting to resent him, BM and my SO. But either way, so glad to find women dealing with the same emotions I am, and a safe place to vent!

Okay, wow. Sorry for the novel lol. New to the site, got a wee bit carried away. That's like 3 years worth of pent up venting. My sister is great and will listen and give her opinions, but as a 21 year old college student, she can't offer much in the way of advice. I'm counting on you ladies and your personal experiences lol.

I love you dearly, I enjoy being with you however,
I dread the times when your daughter visits for the summer. I get ill around April knowing that she'll be here in June.
I hate that you allow her to interrupt our adult conversation and you use the excuse she just wants to feel included
too. Hello, adult conversation here. Make her wait till we are finished. She is not cute, she has this annoying Tourette's like useless movement that you and her chemically imbalanced mother refuse to address. If your daughter comes over here again and puts her hands on the child we share, our child has permission to punch the little twit right in her face. That spoiled, jealous brat is your problem. I do not want anything to do with her. No, I will never allow you to leave her with me so don't ask again. You and your ex should find a child therapist to resolve her emotional erratic behavior. And yes. I purposely lied to you about having to work to avoid Thanksgiving dinner with that monster.

What I have actually said to DH is that I wish he wasn't so stupid to knock BM up & that I wished SS had never been born.I don't wish SS any harm or anything but the reality is that his existance is why BM has cause to contact you & cause havoc in our lives.Lots of girls dream of being a mom but no one dreams of being a stepmom.Obviously DH was furious but at that stage I was at my wits end & beyond caring.Luckily at about that time I found this site and eventually slowly started disengaging.It has been the best thing ever for my sanity & for my marriage.

DH:
- Look just because you compare your son to a more openly disrespectful child (throwing tantrums/screaming/kicking/punching), doesn't mean he's well-behaved! Comparing your child to other children, and saying, "See he's not as bad as that kid." isn't an excuse to slack off on parenting!

- I've been taking care of your son full time (24/7) and I don't enjoy it. I know you LOVE spending every moment with your son, but lets face it…you only see him a couple hours before he has to go to bed. You haven't actually been around your son for any extended period of time. So of course you LOVE spending time with him! Since I'm with him all the time I've seen who and what he really is. A spoiled brat.

- You can't replace your Ex-wife with me. You screwed up and married a crazy woman and decided to have a child with her, and now you realize that she isn't a good influence in your son's life. That doesn't mean that by marrying me, I'm going to raise your son and be the mom that he should of had in the first place. I am not the one responsible for making your son into a good, kind, responsible human being. That's YOU and your EX's responsibility.

- Being a step-parent the way you want me to be is unrealistic. I have all the responsibility: Feeding, cleaning, teaching, doing laundry, dishes, making SS-approved meals, putting this child before my needs/wants, sharing your time with SS, needed to get approval from you or BM on anything regarding SS, and all the other tasks that fill up my day. But I have none of the perks: being able to decided how I want this child to be raised, support from your family that when I say child will or won't do something they will respect that because I am a parent to that child, or credit for doing raising child well. You never/rarely hear any "Wow, you are an excellent step-parent!" or "You raised this child right!" or from the child "I am who I am because my step-parent.". No, anything negative about the child will 99.9% of the time fall on the step-parent. It's because we didn't coddle them enough or we didn't discipline them enough or simply because we weren't their "real parent". But on the flip side, anything good they do, all credit will go to the Bio-parents, as though the Step-parent did nothing accept stand on the side lines.

- I loved the idea of us having a child of our own. I loved the idea of being able to understand what it's like to be a real mother to your child. But now that I've been taking care of my SS, I don't want to be responsible for another child. You and your Ex have made me feel so resentful toward my SS that I don't want to be responsible for another kid. Especially if this is an example of your parenting techniques, I don't want you spoiling another kid that I will have to be the bad guy to, because I would expect my child to be kind, respectful, and polite. And I don't think you would show me any more respect with my own child than you do with my SS. So, as far as more kids go…No.

- I don't love your son the way you to, just like your son doesn't love me the way he does his mom. Maybe we will like each other some day, maybe not. He is not my son. With bio kids to their bio parents there is that bond, that step-parents (who entered the picture later) will not be able to easy to build between them if ever. That's not the Happily-Ever-After you were hoping for but that's the honest truth. I have to work hard to forgive your son. It takes effort to look at him and not only see hard work. Raising a child IS hard work. It is easier when there's a biological connection of parent to child, but I don't have that for your son.

- Just because your Ex is in your life doesn't mean she needs to be in mine. She has made it perfectly clear that I have no say when it comes to your son. So, stop forcing us to interact when neither of us wants to. You be the go-between when it comes to your Ex's house hold and the one you share with me. You need to be the one who shuffles your son back and forth. Leave me completely out of it.

- You want to fight for full custody for your son, but I am so glad that you are too scared to do it. Your Ex is a crappy human being and probably a terrible parent, but at least for a short amount of time, I don't have to deal with your son. You want your son full time, but I don't. He's a brat. While he's with his mom, we can finally have time together. I'm not having to compete with your son for a few uninterrupted minutes with my husband.

Wow, sorry for the rant, but it feels really looking at what I want to say to DH…..

I am sick and tired of parenting for you when you don't feel like it. My disengaging is not a bad thing. You do not need my support to not raise your son. You only need support when you're actually doing something. Your son has something very wrong with him and it's not being on the spectrum. You are as much to blame as BM and granny for how he is. You LET this happen. Stop playing the victim. There is only 1 victim in all of this and he's psychotic thanks to all of you.

SS06

1. He knows how to play you. He's a dick and means to be.
2. If you don't stop his poor attitude now, it will only get worse.
3. He's the biggest baby ever and its because you treat him like he's 2.
4. I understand you had a terrible childhood and you want to do everything in your power to never let him feel anything, BUT if you don't let him feel anything ever he wont know how to deal with feelings and situations in the future. LET HIM FEEL THE GUILT OF HIS ACTIONS!
5. He doesn't need to be entertained every 4 seconds. Its OK to have fun without him! ITS OKAYYYYY!
6. Let his dad have more responsibility over him, he isn't just your son. let his dad be a dad.
7. He is a little shit 80% of the time.
8. I think he has ADD.
9. I wish he would live with his dad at least 1/2 the time. I am more than willing to supplement the child support that you would lose from this.

... his constant need for your attention and to always need to physically touch you makes me feel like a third wheel, its taking a toll on our relationship and making it very hard for me to want to be in the same room with you two. I feel like i'm competing for your attention but I know its a battle I will never win.

^^^^^ Ugh Derbygirl . . it sounds JUST LIKE MY life.

I can't stand SS7 - he does rotten, evil things, and all DH does is make excuse after excuse for his behavior. He's on meds, getting kicked out of daycare, kicked out of school . . and DH can't see the faults in his mini-me.

And he's sooooooo clingy. He's physically on TOP of DH all the damn time. He lays on top of DH on the couch, is constantly hugging DH - even in a restaurant, he has to get up from his chair and walk over and lean on DH. I can't stand it.

And he's SUCH a big baby. He cries/whines about EVEYTHING.

And he is, as you said, "a little shit". He physically provokes SD10 and when she finally retaliates and whoops him, SS will cry and smirk while DH yells at SD. I can't stand the little bastard. I try and stay away as much as possible on the weekends.

Ugh. I'm sad for you and what you are dealing with. I personally don't know how much longer I can take it. I have an "escape plan" I've put into motion. If SS gets worse as he gets older, I'm gone. I have no other choice.

Oh my...why did it take me so long to see this post?!?! LOL

About SD15
1--She is not ever going to be as pretty as she thinks she is and buying more expensive shampoo for that mess she calls hair is NEVER going to solve that issue for her.
2--She is filthy and disgusting...please teach her to clean up after herself, you aren't teaching her any life lessons by doing it for her.
3--As long as you continue to coddle her, she will NEVER be a productive member of society...but she better learn soon because she's NOT living with me after she's 18!
4--Just because BM has never been a part of her life does not make her breakable. Bad things happen to everyone...she needs to grow the fuck up and you need to STOP feeling sorry for her!
5--That shit she calls art...it's not. You need to stop telling her what a fantastic artist she is and blowing smoke up her ass. She's a fantastic COPIER...get it right.
6--You don't get something for nothing in this world. She needs to be doing chores! You EARN money...it's not just handed to you!
7--She needs to get her license and get a J-O-B! WTF???

About SD13

1--While I do like her, she is over weight and someone needs to do something about it before it gets more out of hand than it already is.
2--She needs to stop asking you for money for the things her mother should be providing her that YOU pay CS for.
3--I understand that she is a teenager but can we say DRAMA?

Felt kinda good to get that off my chest...

1. Move in with her mother again if the divorce was such a huge fucking traumatizing deal and stop asking me to make sacrifices for your mistake.

2. You kid is spoiled so rotten by your divorce-guilt that she is ungrateful and so entitled even you hate giving her gifts now.

3. Your kid is so desperate for your attention that she literally scare guests from our house.
Even when your friend called and saidf hes not bringing his wife over until you teach your daughter to calm the fuck down when they visit. But no, instead you decide they arent "real friends" because they wont visit if you let your daughter take over the whole visit?

4. You only talk to her when you want her to do something, you dont help with homework, you dont teach her any skills and that is why she is annyoing and ask you for help her with everything. If you didnt neglect your tutoring responsibility you wouldnt have to get annoyed/mad at her when she ask for help with thinngs you should have taught her years ago!

1. I do not love your kids. Sometimes I dont even like them. Stop trying to recreate the family uou and BM could not have.

2. I should not be forced to take long holidays with you and your kids. The last one started out ok but the last 4 days were hell on earth.

3. Our 14 month old daughter is not a source of entertainment for your kids. I refuse to take her out of day care (that I pay for) so your kids can play with her while bored during school holidays for an hour and after thqt selfishly forget she exists like I have observed many times.

4. SD5 and SS7 need to bath more often. They are filthy and the only reason they look clean at the end of the day is because they hqve spent all day rubbing off their dirt on the couches. Don't ever suggest again that you want our baby to take a bath with your kids and sit in their dirt. It will never happen.

5.ss7 acts like a girl. He is 7 but cant go anywhere without his baby sleeping bags and his stuffed cat. Sd5 is a little liar and an instigator.

6. Your kids are not cute to me. They dont talk to me unless they are forced to and that is why when we were on holiday our baby was wearing a diaper and shirt while I was only steps away making her milk..I could hear the kids laugh but I couldn't see them and I thought all was well. DD was 11 months at time...skids saw her removes her nappy and play with her own poos but because they are n weird little shits they sat there giggling and couldnt bring themselves to telling me that the sister you say they love so much was playing with excrement. It was 10 in the morning and your excuse was tye skids were tired. No, they were not tired. They are just rude and nasty.

7. Ok, your kids have their moments but to be fair they are not terrible kids but I feel nothing for them. I hate that they speak to each in French in our house and speak only in whispers when I'm around. So much for helping them fit in...not!

8. BM is ruining your kids by making them socially inept. They dont respond when greeted by anyone. They have no friends and it could have something to do with them having their arses wiped by you and BM. Who wants to ahve kids over for a sleep over who cant wipe their own bottoms at 5 and 7.

9. Ss7 thinks it's cute to take his smelly dumps witybtye door wide open and when my baby wanders I you think its cute the children are interacting. No it is not cute. Not at all. SS7 toilet business is jothing to do with our daughter.

10. You question why I'm not keen for you to watch our daughter for more than a couple of hours when skids are around. Thats becaus e I dont want our daughter to be anything like your kids. She is bubbly and very sociable so much so that some of her daycare teachers say they will happily take her home for an evening if ever we need a break because that's how lovely she is. Your kids are awkward and hard work to be around. I struggle to let our daughter be close to kids who dont like me and dont acknowledge me.

11. You love your children dearly. But I wish you would wear the parent pants and not them. You once told me we were going out for di ner as a family and whenyiu told the kids about our dinner plans they said they'd rather have a bath than go out so uou told me dinner out was cancelled. 5 minutes later skids said that they now wanted to go out so dinner was back on. I refused to go out for a dinner that was controlled by your kids. I gave in eventually but grow some balls. I also refuse to buy SS7 an ice cream as an apoligy for driving him around while we carried out our errands. Children should learn thaat there is more to life than playing games with them and entertaining thir every wish and command.

I'm new here and there are a lot of things I want to say to DH, but few that I actually say.

1. I'm sick and tired of SD10 sleeping on our floor. Even though she shares a room at home, when she's at our house she needs to get used to sleeping in a room by herself. Our bedroom should be a kid free room.

2. SD10 no longer needs help washing her hair. She does it just fine by herself when she's alone with me. She only continues asking for your help for attention.

3. I'm not making it up when I say that SD10 doesn't wipe after peeing. If you did the laundry you would know that her hamper always smells like pee.

4. Please tell SD10 to wash her hands after using the bathroom. Why am I the only one that tells her that? Then she wants to put her hands in food that other people are going to eat. That's disgusting!

5. SD10 is lazy! Please make her do something, anything, besides lay on the couch and watch tv the entire weekend.

6. SD10 still cannot read very well. Your need to make her practice reading, but you won't because you don't want her to hate her visitation time and I think that is ridiculous.

7. SD10 doesn't need to cling to you every second that we're out in public. She acts as though if she lets you go for a second you are going to run away. I'm sure she would even go in the mens room with you if she thought she could.

8. It irritates me that she has recently started calling you dada like a two year old. Although, "dada" is better than when she used to call you "honey buns".

9. Please walk next to me like we're a couple. It seems like I'm always walking behind or in front of the two of you.