Did you get a thank-you if you gave a gift to the ex's child(ren)?

Yes-verbal
21% (21 votes)
Yes-written
1% (1 vote)
No
78% (78 votes)
Total votes: 100
Candice's picture

Our bm

is really good about giving gifts, and saying thank you for the gifts she and her family receive.

dee626's picture

When my SS was younger, I

When my SS was younger, I always made sure to get his mom something for her birthday, Mother's Day, etc. I even made sure we gave her daughter presents because my husband had been her stepdad for such a long time. We still give to the daughter, but I stopped buying for BM because she never acknowledged it but just once after 7 years of gifts and I have 2 little boys ages 4 and 2 and they have not once ever been acknowledged by her for their birthdays, Christmas, anything! I still give to her daughter because she truly appreciates what both my husband and I do for her and if I could trade and have her be my stepchild instead of her brother I would.

Candice's picture

just keep doing it...

I laughed when you said you would trade kids! It's unfortunate that some people just can't be nice. We aren't the best at always getting bm's other son gifts for every single occasion (she sends elaborate Easter baskets to my son- which I wasn't expecting), but we do send Christmas, and we also send a family Christmas gift.

I like it, I think it is nice, and it shows respect for each side of the family. Even though you don't get what you should, and your kids aren't getting gifts, just keep doing it, her kids notice, and it sounds like they appreciate it!

Bests,
Candice

Anne 8102's picture

We don't even get an

We don't even get an acknowledgment that the gift was received... unless you count the receipt from the UPS guy.

~ Anne ~

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áƒĻāŽ anne|8102 āŽáƒĻ

OldTimer's picture

We don't care.

We don't care. Don't want anything from her. Anything that is 'given' to her was merely from SS... not us. Although, strangly, SS had to make sure (repeatedly) that his mother got us a gift. And when he came back, sure enough, she gave us a gift, but I think it was meant to be from SS to us, not BM... but SS was trying to deflect it.

—

OldTimer Eye-wink
"Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow."

BlueberrysBaby's picture

Worse than no "thank you"

Not only did I not get thanked, I got a bitchy voicemail on Christmas Eve because I had used our "Mr. & Mrs." address label on the package. Apparently the little buzzards hadn't been told daddy's remarried. So I go out and buy them presents and wrap them and ship them Express Mail and do I get thanked? No, I get yelled at by his EX-WIFE because neither of them knew how to "break it" to the kids that we were married. And silly me, I thought our wedding (in July, by the way) was GOOD news!!!

Blueberry's Baby

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Blueberry's Baby

happy's picture

Wow..

Well now you have to finish the story..
Did you ask your hubby why the child did not know... I mean July is when I got married.. And it was a wonderful event.. I am so happy that the second time around is better. Although the kids all try to cause some sort of havic all the time. LOL

Congratulations. What day in July? Mine was the 29th..
Smiling Happy Smiling

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Happy

BlueberrysBaby's picture

Neverending Story

Oh sure, I asked him. He didn't want to upset them - it all goes back his own reunion fantasies as a kid and a mother who came right out and told him and his brothers that if she had to choose between her new husband and them, she'd choose the new husband. I know all men are little boys inside, but my husband turned right back into that 8-year-old boy when he told me that story. He vowed of course to never let the same happen to his kids. He's also just a big wuss when it comes to confrontation and he was sure it would upset them because other women he'd dated/lived with in the 7 yrs they were divorced beforehand were pretty crappy to his kids.

Anyway - hindsight is 20/20 and he realizes that they were more upset to find out that way than if he'd just told them (they knew we were engaged and the BM had found out in October because I sent a child support check from the joint checking account, heh heh. Why he was worried about telling HER is a whole other Oprah).

Blueberry's Baby

P.S. I just love the term "BM." It smacks of so much excrement which my DH's ex-wife is. Sticking out tongue
P.P.S. July 23rd - the sweetest day... just us and the officiant by the ocean at sunrise.

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Blueberry's Baby

happy's picture

Wow..

We are like 6 days apart in Anniversary..
July is a good month. It sounds like your wedding was very elegant and simple and beautiful. Wow....

You are to funny. you sent a support check out of joint account.. he he that is something I would do.. Totally oh wait I have done it before.. LOL..

Awesome and Congrat's to you..

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Happy

Julie30's picture

She say's thanks through her daughter

SD will always tell me that her mom said thank you for getting her this or that or I will hear it from the kids directly.

When our baby was born I was surprised because SKIDS BM bought our son a few outfits, a handprint/fingerprint frame & I can't remember what else and I verbally just told SD to thank her mom on behalf of both of us BF and myself.

SD is the one who made her mom get the gifts, but I think her mom really appreciates the fact that I am a good mother to her daughter and her son that I hate... Seriously, he drives me insane. But I am always the one who warned her about the issues she was neglecting and of course they always came back on her. So, I think she just appreciates it when I do stuff for her kids.

Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.

BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.

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Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.

BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.

Little Jo's picture

Blueberry

When we get married, we plan on giving the BM a gift card to a spa. We don't care if we get a thank you. We just don't want her crazy ass showing up at the wedding.

And they are idiots for not telling the kids. My Daughter's Father waited until his Father's funeral to tell his 8 year old son and 11 year old Daughter that they had a half sister. And only because I refused to NOT go to the services as 'Pop' was a part of our lives as well. Those poor kids lost their Grandfather and gained a half sibling on the same day!

Unbelievable. Can someone say therapy!

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"May the forces of evil get confused on the way to your house." George Carlin

Persephone's picture

No and They Live with Us

We were opening gifts and when all was said and done they walked past me said thanks dad how did you know we wanted this?? I perked up and said he didn't, I picked it out (smile). Still no thank you, my girls see this thank both of us and the oldest 19--says my mom always picks the best gifts!!! (she smiles and winks) LOL

Bonus Wife's picture

I Don't Think My Oldest SD Knows Either

Sadly, my husband's oldest (20) is in jail. Beautiful young woman who is a drug addict and committed a crime. She's been in and out of rehabs and now she's in jail. I met her only three times when we were dating. When I asked DH if SD knew we were married...he said he doesn't know, which means he didn't tell her. I'm sure his ex wife had to tell her that we got married. This is one issue that is not that important to me. If she knows, she knows...if she doesn't, she doesn't. I doubt we'll ever really get to know each other even when she gets out. Don't think she handled her parents divorce well at all. She was only 13 at the time. Rough age.