This year, we get SS for Christmas Eve. This year, my newly wedded BIL and his wife have decided to have Christmas dinner at their house. (Ooohhhhh gooooddddiieee.... I mean that sarcastically. See, I don't get along with BIL... but SOOOOO GLAD he's FINALLY married. It's a long story. He used to live with us, and well, he was a deadbeat living off of his brother, and my DH just didn't see it. I did. Now he has a wife, and has whiped him into shape- plus the military did too. So, things are sooo better, but I still am not sure about this dinner.)
Anyway, in the past when BM had SS for Christmas Eve, we've always been nice and allowed/offered SS to spend the night, and pick him up in the morning around 8am or 9am. Mind you, the actual time frame for Christmas Eve is 8am-8pm that same day... not 'til morning. But we figured, man that really doesn't leave a whole lot of time spent with his BM's family, or even play with his new toys, etc etc.
Okay, now it's our turn. When it's our turn for Christmas Eve, do you think that BM would do the same curtesy... hell no! Of course not! So, I'm bummed, because here we have this "great" family dinner to go to and be at by 5pm on Christmas Eve, which is over an hour drive for us, and then eat, just to turn around and drive allllllll the way back to drop SS off at 9pm. Not to mention that my DH has to work that day, won't get home until 230pm, which doesn't leave us much time to open our gifts here. So, SS and I have to wait for DH to get home, frantically open all our gifts, just in time for DH to jump in the shower, and we all load up the car, for our hour long drive... I'm already tired just typing this!
You know it's times like this I just want to throw every thing we have ever done for this women in her face and say... look bitch, it's time you helped us out! But no... I'm a big girl and I can act like a very very big girl even when she doesn't.
You know another thing that bothered me was, when DH explained that we had dinner plans, and we won't be able to make it back by 8pm, etc etc, she liked asked him... Why did you do that? Um, hello because that's when we have SS for the holiday, that's why!!!! And it's not up to us, but the family that is hosting it... geesh.
Hey, maybe you could use
Hey, maybe you could use this as an excuse to get out of the dinner, if you don't really want to go.
~ Anne ~
P.S. Next time just tell her, "Well, I know we always let you have some extra time when it's your turn for Xmas Eve, but we have plans this year so you'll need to keep him from eight until eight." Reverse psychology sometimes works.
Tried that...
didn't work with her this time. We did bring up the fact that we have always accommodated her, however what I really think is going on is that around the holidays, it becomes a very very hard time for her. She has some real issues and has isolated herself from her family and I don't believe she has any friends. I have noticed that every year, when the holidays come around, she gets pretty depressed, so what happens is she's pushier and needs more control, takes things out on DH instead of dealing with her depression. Turns things around. Sad.
She is getting help and has been easier to get along with in the last year, but I don't think things are quite as peachy a painted picture as she has tried to make it appear... if you catch my drift. I think when she gets stressed, she just tries to takes little snips at my DH. Sad. We've had less of it, though, so that's good. Since she's now married, I think she's been distracted... lol.
I'm just bummed by it, normally we don't have to worry about dinners and plans, we just stay home and are quite cozy with each other, so it won't have been such a big deal. This year, it's going to be interesting. I did tell DH that I think next time it's our turn for Christmas Eve, let us take care of the dinner, and that way, we can control the time we have dinner. I don't want to be rude to his brother and say... can you maybe make the dinner at 400pm instead? When I know they have other family members attending too from the south part of our state. It's an 8 hour drive for them.
Besides, I wouldn't just not go because I don't want to, it's DH's brother, and well, it's all in the family. We are adults, and we do treat each other civilly. I do like my new SIL, don't know her well, but she is pretty nice, so that should be good, just don't know any of her family. But, I think I'll manage. ;0)
Thanks though! Believe me it's great to beable to vent off frustration from time to time, and I soooo appreciate this site and everyone on it! ;0)
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