JuryOfOne's picture

Forsaking all others

smom101's picture

It means you are honest, you

It means you are honest, you dont lie down with others. PERIOD. You dont cheat - you dont kiss, you dont screw. You dont sext, you dont touch. It means fidelity. No if's, and's, or but's. Now having said that, we are human and as such we make mistakes. I am not a forgiving person when it comes to infidelity, however.

JuryOfOne's picture

Does include relationships

Does include relationships other than adultery?

"I love you" is not a question.

smom101's picture

You mean friendships? I

You mean friendships? I suppose it could, if you expect complete honesty from them.

2Tired4Drama's picture

I think so. At least, that's

I think so. At least, that's what I understood to be the truth when I said my marriage vows.

Traditionally, I think "forsaking all others" means the marital relationship should take precedence before other relationships. That doesn't mean you completely ignore everyone else in your life (mother, father, siblings, etc.) but the marriage should be your primary relationship and the one that matters most. IMO, anyway.

Shaman29's picture

Ohhhh....good one Ana. I

Ohhhh....good one Ana. I didn't think about jobs, addictions, egos and things of that nature. I should have added them to my list as well.

"Seek first to understand , then to be understood"

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Roddy Piper

Shaman29's picture

To me it means you do not let

To me it means you do not let anyone else come between you and your spouse.

Anyone.

Kids.

Ex's.

Family.

Friends.

Period.

"Seek first to understand , then to be understood"

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Roddy Piper

smom101's picture

All of the above, actually.

All of the above, actually.

oldone's picture

This is one time where it

This is one time where it pays to be an old person with a different perspective. In the 60s many people wrote their own marriage vows. Many of them were truly meaningful - but some - well they didn't vow to do much but stay around as long as things were good. those people never had to "break" any vows because the ones they made were so vague.

Tuff Noogies's picture

what a fantastic article

what a fantastic article cheri!
i printed it out Smiling

in regards to minor children, i didnt gather from the article he was talking about neglecting them. it seemed more of the opinion that 'forsaking all others' would include standing WITH your OH, and not allowing the children/skids to come between spouses, but providing a united marriage as a foundation for the family.

at any rate, i much appreciate the link Sticking out tongue

"I am the nicest person you will ever meet until you try to fuck over somebody I love. Then? I'm your worst fucking nightmare." - Former.

wicked_by_proxy's picture

"Marriage is a man and woman

"Marriage is a man and woman coming together and forsaking all others. If a partner in the marriage considers someone else equal to or greater than their spouse, that marriage is heading for the rocks, even if that someone else is an adult child. Adult children are supposed to be independent, gainfully employed, self sufficient men and women with partners and a life of their own. They are not supposed to be an appendage of daddy or mommy for that matter, and they certainly have no say in anyone's marriage including and especially their parent's marriage. The only marriage they can have any say in is their own. The only marriage they can be equal in is their own."

This is a quote I found a while ago - could have even been here on this site - but for me, it really summed up "forsaking all others"....

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain

3_steps_ahead's picture

IMO it's pretty simple: You

IMO it's pretty simple:

You don't allow for anyone or anything to come in and cause division in the marriage.

While it's a simple principle, sometimes what we may have to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage can be painful.

For my marriage, it ended up meaning that SD19 needed to move out and DH needed to cut off contact with her. Unfortunately, when contact was cut off with SD19, it also ended up meaning that most of DH's family completely turned their backs on him based only on SD19's lies. While the sacrifice of DH's family "relationships" was painful, I can tell you that there has been so much less strife in our home and immediate family and so much more happiness than there ever was before simply by not allowing the people that caused problems in our marriage to be involved in our lives.