Yes, even though on Mother's Day I didn't get a phone call from Ss because he's too afraid to even mention my name in the presence of his mother, Dh and I told Ss that he needed to call Bm's former live in ex to tell him Happy Father's Day.
Ss said that he wanted to anyway. I told him that even though he's not your father, your step father or even your mom's boyfriend, he is Ss's sister's father and the man still does all kinds of nice things for Ss. I said that he should thank him for doing stuff for him. Ss asked if he could text him with Dh's phone and I told him that that was too impersonal and made him call.
It sounded like the guy appreciated the call very much.
Dawn
Good for you
Dawn! And this is what makes you a GREAT SM! Being Sm's ourselves, we know the importance of appreciating non-family members! That's awesome and some day SS will remember you made him call the man instead of BM!
You're a much better person than me!
DH commented last night something to the effect of "I'm kind of sad you didn't take the girls to get me something for father's day... not even a card" to which I replied "Well, you're not MY father, you're not MY son's father, and on Mother's Day you sure didn't take MY son anywhere to get me a gift or a card and I never heard a peep from YOUR kids on Mother's Day even though I've been around for NINE, count them, NINE years now. So yah, I didn't go out of my way."
Poor guy was stunned... then said "Oh, ok, I guess you're right."
HE UNDERSTOOD!! WA-HOO!! LOL!!
Dawn you did good.
Wicked, sounds like double standard highway may be coming to a end???????
~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~
I can only hope....
that highway is ending!! He also asked me why I have casually said to myself "this is not my problem" (oops! haha) So I told him I learned a new word called "disengage" and told him to look it up.
I did sit him down a while back and told him I was stepping back out of being in control because it didn't work and he's stepped up much better than I thought, although he still has LOTS to learn... LOL!!! But maybe, just maybe, it's working!
Hopefully
one day SS will look back on all of the things that you made him do that builds character and shows appreciation and THANK YOU! I think when they have no one to teach them or tell them or make them be accountable for something they just don't understand. One day he will hopefully GET IT! Granted that day may not come until HE is a father himself, but come it will.
I called BMs SDad to wish him a Happy Father's Day late yesterday afternoon as I was headed out. The man was most appreciative of it. He said his other steps (from 1st marriage) and bios all called or did something for him, BM and her siblings IGNORED him. Turns out that I called him and none of them did. The kids had gone with BM for a couple of hours earlier in the day so I asked them if they had called Papa? They said, "For what? Why? Did he call?" I said, "To wish him a Happy Father's Day!" THey gave the excuse for not having the number, even though it was on the caller ID. The same caller ID that they scoured through to get BMs NEW cell number off of. So, they called him and it just lit up his DAY. This guy used to babysit them when they were babies and is their GRANDFATHER even if there are no blood lines. He was married to their grandmother until her death. AND even after her death, he still works at keeping a relationship with THEM and with BM and siblings. Geez.
I then asked the kids if they had called their uncle? Finally they did and had the freaking nerve to say, "Is there anyone ELSE you want us to call?" Someone grab my hands before they clamp shut around a child's neck please. BM is the only one that they will run through a brick and mortar wall to buy something or wish a happy whatever and she is the one who does the LEAST. So funny to me. Used to piss me off, but not anymore. Afterall, she is still that same someone who REFUSED to even get them when she KNEW that DH would be away in Afghanistan. One day they will TRULY see her for what she is.
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
YAY FOR US STEPS!!!!
that is sooo nice!!! i wish BPs(bio parents) would think that way more often...
Very classy Dawn
which doesn't surprise me a bit from you-!
"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912