Step Talk

I guess it kind of depends…when biomom was more “happily married” (all TWO months of it!) she had a ss and a sd that lived in her home…had their Britney Spears marriage made it through to Christmas, I don’t think we would have bought a gift for SD’s Step-siblings mainly b/c most of the things we buy for her stay at our house so it’s not like she would go home with gobs of toys…and also b/c we don’t really “know” her step-siblings, we know of them but haven’t spent any time with them per say….but I can see where it would be nice to buy a gift for a sibling from “the family” and send it….

Make a GREAT Day!

who loves his brother and sister.. Now this year for sure I will not spend much but I will try to get him something and the GF daughter something.. Just to be very nice.
I know your son has a sister.. who is 2 or something.
I think it would be neat to get her something from all of you.. She will get a kick out of it as well as your ss will see that even though his mom is a boob you and his dad are very nice and great people. and the little girl will love it.

My ss does not have any siblings on his moms side yet, but I would not buy his siblings presents nor would I want or expect them in return for my children.

she is really good about gifts for kids..sometimes overboard, but we do send a small gift for her other son. I don't think it is necessary, but I think it is nice for us to have ss get gift for his brother, she has done the same, and it works for our fam.

The only thing I don't like is when she sends candy that are actually choking hazards for my son...she has had 2 kids before me, and you would think she wouldn't do that...but...she does. Oh, and when you send a bigger Easter basket than what a I buy for my son (who is not even 2 yet)...I do think that is overboard, but I just let it ride...

It's all up to SS. In the last couple of years, we have started to have SS purchase his own gifts for everyone in our family using his own money that he earned over a course of time- you know the whole saving allowance and the dollar store. We're also trying to emphasize that it's not the price, but the though behind it, and to figure out the knack of giving useful gifts.

The last couple of years, he has purchased small items from the dollar stores even for his brother and sister on BM's side. We're not totally opposed to the idea, but we certainly don't stick our necks out, since BM doesn't do it for his half sister on BF's side. But we are sure to recognize that those are his half siblings and they are part of his family. But, we can't afford to spend money out on them, since we can barely afford our family.

Also, in the past, BM has snobbed her nose at gifts that SS picked out himself, and was quite surprized that we even took the effort. It threatened her too.

Just recently, she, BM, remarried and now has her own SS. Funny how all of a sudden she has been getting a taste of her own medicine and things are getting alittle quieter with her for the past year. But then again, she's been on medication too.

Just last Wednesday was his SB's birthday, and he wanted to purchase a gift for him. I don't feel comfortable with this new sibling, because he has been so rude to me personally in the past. He's spoiled to say the least. But, we feel that SS is at a point in age that he can now take on responsiblity for his own creativity and self guidence. So, we told him if he would like to purchase a gift for his SB, then we'd gladly take him to the store, and he could find something he would like with his allowance, just as he does with everybody else.

In my opinion, that would be the responsibility of the ex to help the kids get gifts for any other kids.

~ Anne ~

When my son goes to their home for Christmas, he brings something for everyone. His stepmom receives a DVD. His Dad receives a football themed gift, and the two little girls get some type of toy, doll, etc. I make sure that the girls get the same gift. They are only 2 years apart. I explained to my son that it is better to buy identical presents for them.....girls can be so "catty", lol!

I used to control what my son bought for his Dad and StepMom, for fear of his gifts being unappreciated. Now I allow him to pick out what HE wants to get them.... He has to mature into the whole gift giving business eventually, right?

When I did the shopping, his other Mom received a more personalized present. Perfume she wore, Wizard of Oz themed coffee mug, an intial pendant, etc. His Dad would receive something with "Dad" on it. Then I would purchase something for all of them. Whether it was tickets to a baseball game for ALL, or a gift certificate for dinner so they could ALL go one day, it never seemed to be appreciated. So I stopped. My ex would take my son shopping behind his wife's back and purchase something from him for me. One year they bought me "Tickle Me Elmo", one year it was a 49er's sweatshirt. But my ex never bought my youngest son (not his son) anything from my eldest. That was my job.

Whew! Blended families are confusing enough. Blended Christmas is hell!!

Hugs,
Janice

I use to buy gifts for Sd to give Biomom but have since stopped. we had a son and on my first mothers day she couldn't even wish me happy mother's day. But the real kicker was when my son turned one and Sd didn't even bring a card over for him. we of course bought her presents to give to him. I am just tired of doing for sensitive Biomom and getting not even a thank you in return that I don't do it any more and wouldn't do it for her kids unless it was really important to SD.

Although there are no other children, when I started seeing my BF the BM and my BF would get a present for each other from the SD on Christmas, etc. I put a stop to that. The BM is remarried and her husband should be taking the SD to the store to get BM a present (Mother's Day, Christmas, etc). The SD and I get my BF presents for special ocassions. I would feel the same if there were siblings involved. The X would be responsible to help the SD get gifts for other kids on her side of the equation.

No way! We have our own family including my two step children and my two biological (all of the children are in a 'shared custody' arrangement). When the children are with us we will take them to get gifts for their sisters and brothers whom are in 'our' family.
When the children are in their other house(s), their other parents can take them to get gifts for the sisters and brothers in 'their other family'.
If the kids wanted to buy gifts for siblings in their other houses I wouldn't object.... but the issue has never come up as we have always kept everything seperate.

I look at it like this, her children are her children and her responsiblity. I will provide for me and my house and she can provide for hers. This doesn't just end at her children but everyone. For example, Fathers Day.....My husband and I have 4 children, 2 are my step children, the first couple of years we were together EX would still take her BIO kids to get My Husband a Fathers Day gift for him, ALTHOUGH I had already taken all 4 of the children to get Dad a Fathers Day present, B-Day Present, Christmas Present ETC. She would do this intentionally. Keep in mind these were not toddlers who could not tell her that they had already been shopping. According to my step-daughter BIO mom would ask her what WE got DAD and then say well let's go shopping, as if the kids gift here wasn't sufficient, and her gifts would be back-stabbing gifts, not gifts from children, EXAMPLES not exaggerating these were true gifts from THE KIDS (hahahahaah) Victoria Secrets Gift Card (she said they sale men's garments as well) and they do but WERE u thinking you were going to see him in them?, $200.00 bottle of champagne (he doesn't drink) a $400.00 Movado watch (but in the same week you ask hubby if you can borrow money to pay your electric bill). It took my husband to put and END to EX's gift buying on behalf of their bio kids and it was agreed that she would take care of her house and we'll take care of ours. So no I do not nor would I even try to take my step kids to get anyone on that side of their family a gift including bio mom herself.

"Be there for the joy. Be there for the tears. Be there for each other."
(Step-Mom the Movie 1998)