I picked ss up from summer school yesterday. He tried to bring a kid home with him to play video games but I told them that I would give the kid a ride to his house, but no one was coming over until ss's essay was done. Especially since he did basically no work on it over the weekend at Bm's. So I got the silent treatment.
When we arrived home, I asked ss if he needed to charge his cell phone. He always needs to charge his phone when he returns from a weekend at Bm's. We own the phone so we keep the charger here. Anyway, ss told me that oh, no, he had 3 bars left so he was good. I thought that that was odd but I let it drop.
Bm arrived at 6pm to pick ss up. Ss left. He was gone for 2 min. and he came back in and said his mom wanted him to tell us that when he was at the picnic on Fri. night, he was on a ride and his cell phone just flew out of his pocket and hit the ground. It came apart and they couldn't find the back of it. So his mom took him to the cell phone store on Sat. and they had a new one ordered. However, since they don't make that same phone anymore, it might not fit right.
I blew a gasket because of the fact that I asked ss about charging his phone earlier and he just acted like there was nothing wrong with the phone.
The only reason that Bm even made ss tell us was because evidently since we own the phone, the store would only ship it to our address and it is supposed to arrive today.
Don't you find all of that sneaky and underhanded? I sure do. I made Dh call Bm and tell her that the next time something like that happens, please let us know as soon as you can and not after you've tried to cover it up and then wait 3 days.(I added that last part. Dh would never accuse Bm of covering it up. That might make her mad)
Not to mention, Bm wasn't with ss when this happened. She had dropped him off at the picnic to meet up with friends. The whole story sounds fishy to me. I would think that if the phone hit the ground as it flew out of his pocket that it would have broken to bits. Plus, ss went to Six Flags twice within the last two weeks and his cell phone never flew out of his pocket. Not even on the upside down rides! The rides at Six Flags are much more serious rides than the ones at the picnic. Hmmmmm.
Dawn
No, it wouldn't make me mad.
No, it wouldn't make me mad. But I go through phones like crazy. My last one flew outta my pocket at Disney World and I never found it. I had just gotten it too, so I had to fork out $300 for a new phone. At least BM was trying to fix the problem since it happened in her care?
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
A lie of omission
Is still a lie - on both of their parts.
SS's story sounds fishy for sure. He was probably jacking around with his friends when it broke, like you said, it would have been in pieces if it feel from a ride.
Even if the part does arrive today, I'd probably hang on to it, and let SS suffer for a bit longer without the phone. You spent good money on it, and he needs to appreciate both you for giving it to him, and the phone - it's a privilage, not a right to have one.
If BM asks if you got the part today, just tell her it's back ordered, and you should have it by the end of the week.
When you
give kids phones/glasses/ipods they will get lost/broken/stolen.
I would have been irritated but not mad. BM tried to fix the situation but should have let you known sooner.
Lie of Omission as LN said. There is a reason why when they
swear you in in court that you swear to "Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth".
It amazes me that BM is not adult enough to call you or BioDad directly on this issue much less that SS did not have the fortitude to address it with you directly.
"No, I have three bars?????" BS, he had no bars because it is highly unlikely that the phone would work at all with a missing back/battery.
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
I would make me mad
whether she tried to fix it or not, you should have been informed since you own the phone and should have been told
I think you should be mad at not only at the BM but SS too.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
I would be mad about the lying
If he is old enough to have a cell phone, then he is old enough to tell the truth.
"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."
Um, wait. The phone is in
Um, wait. The phone is in YOUR name, you pay the bill, and she made a contract with the store to get a new one? Or did she buy this phone?
Either way, she had no right to order a phone that you pay the bill for and send it to your house. That phone is on YOUR plan. I would send it back and tell BM if she wants to get a phone for ss she can put it in her name and pay the bill for it.
She had them order
a part(the back) of his current phone. Yes, we own the phone and we pay the plan.
Trust me, I told Dh in no uncertain terms that I would be fine with Bm getting ss a phone and putting him on her plan. Then we could drop him from our plan and I wouldn't have to deal with a majority of the problems.
Dawn
Who paid for the piece?
Who paid for the piece?
Dawn, is it possible
Dawn is it possible that BM told SS to tell you about the phone and he didn't, and when she picked him up she asked him if he told you? Sounds to me like she made him come back in and tell you because he wasn't honest with you about it to begin with. Maybe I'm wrong here but I think she did the right thing to replace the missing part, and make sure SS told you. I think if he's old enough to have a phone he should be old enough to be responsible for it. If it were me, I think I would be more mad as SS for not being honest and not that BM tried to have it fixed.
Here's my beef
We should have been told before she ordered the part. First of all, it's a part from a different phone that they "think" will work. That should have been our decision. Secondly, knowing Bm, I think the only reason that we were told at all, was because they had to ship it to our house and not hers.
According to Dh, Bm said she did tell ss that he needed to tell us about it on Sat. when they were ordering the part. Of course, she knew he wouldn't see us until Mon.
Either way, fix it or not, or if she paid for the part or not, it should have been our decision.
Dawn
irritated yes,angry...maybe
I would be annoyed that SS didn't tell you about it. Unfortunately, just like most adults kids are hell on cell phones. That wouldn't be the part that upset me though. Just the "not mentioning" of the truth would irritate me a lot.
"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”
That is what I was thinking
That is what I was thinking Danyelle. This is your phone and they let her order something on your plan? It is something that is under warranty/insurance or do you have to pay for it? You would think that the company would have called you or DH for authorization before shipping it out. I still would have been mad at ss for lying about it. I think I would say it got lost in the mail or backordered as well and have ss be without a phone for awhile for punishment.
well
I wouldn't be mad about the broken phone but I would be mad about SS lying! Yes, he didn't "lie" but he lied by omission.
It sounds like you have alot of cell phone drama with SS. You should tell him that you're taking him off your plan and that if he wants a cell phone, he needs to work something out with BM.
small stuff
why do you waste your energy being mad over such small issues. Sounds like you're just nit picking just to find fault in your ss or his bio mom. work at being the best step parent that you can be. treat that child as if he were your own. all parents, step or bio, need to work together to raise healthy children.