nena123's picture

WTF!!! Why is it my responsibility???

Ok so let me recap what has happened in the last couple months. I will make this quick.
I had a baby in Nov. DH leaves me and the baby when the baby 3 weeks old. Got pist off because I wasn’t going to watch his son (SS5) on his visit with us because duhhhh # 1 I just had a baby, #2 DH wasn’t helping me and I was overwhelmed, #3 I was still hormonal, so I was not about to add more to my plate. Didn’t matter, he got all upset and walked out on us as if that’s what I needed on top of everything else. He left when I needed him the most. Sad

So now, 4mo later we have been getting along pretty good which is surprising, I thought I was going to hate him. Well last night DH calls me and asked me what I was doing on Sunday. I don’t do a damn thing on Sundays, Those are my lazy days. So he goes on to ask me if I can help him fill out some court papers to hold BM in contempt. AGAIN! I had already filled out one set from back in Nov. when she totally didn’t bring him into town for his visit over Thanks Giving. Well DH neglected to follow up on it so no court date was ever set. This time she was suppose to bring him into town for his visit over spring break but again she didn’t.

I told him I would help him fill the court papers out but this morning I don’t know if I want to do that any more. I can feel the resentment building up already just writing this out. Why should I help him when he left me and the new born baby to fend for ourselves? Why should I help him with his son when the whole reason he left was because I refused to watch SS and in my opinion completely chose SS over his family (his wife and our baby). Why should I even care, what do I get out of it, nothing. I know it is not SS fault yet my heart holds so much resentment against him and BM. The less time I spend with ss the better and I thought that when DH left, I looked at the positives which was never having to feel this resentment again or dealing with ugly mask face BM and all her bull shit that she does. In a way I want to tell DH just let her win already and save your self the stress. Give her what she F&*ken wants. Every time she takes him to court she gets what she wants any ways. The judge always sides with her so in reality there is no beating her no matter what it is.

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to fill out the court papers. This shouldn’t be my responsibility anymore, not that it ever was to begin with but I did it out of the kindness of my heart because I loved DH and I wanted him to be happy but what was it all for if he left us anyways? I don’t want to fight his battles and put my time and effort into something that in reality I don’t even want. I told myself when he left that I gave up on helping DH with SS court stuff, yet why am I such a dumb ass for saying that I would help him. How do I tell him no, how do I tell him do it yourself because I don’t want to. Please help!!! I need advise step talkers.


nena123's picture

lol.....I like that.

lol.....I like that.

I'm no ones mommy but my own babies....

misSTEP's picture

Nena, you have to flip your

Nena, you have to flip your bitch switch. I know that you probably still love him (for some reason, the abandoning asshole!) but you NEED to stand up for yourself (AND YOUR POOR LITTLE BABY!!). Either he will respect you more, which will help your relationship. Or you will run him off. In which case, better sooner than later!

The only other option is to continue to let him use you and continue to be the doormat and continue to not have a life of your own and be resentful and unhappy.

If you don't think you can be a bitch, just pretend you are acting out a role of the bitchiest actress you know. Like Shannen Doherty.

Give these psycho BMs an inch and they will take 10 miles and complain that you didn't give them MORE.

nena123's picture

I thank you all for

I thank you all for confirming what I need to do. In a nice way I need to tell him to shove his paper work and all the shit that has to do with HIS CHILD up his ass where he had his heart when he walked away from me and our son. I don't owe him a damn thing and in reality I want nothing to do with his son and all the drama, resent-filled, angry bull shit I got from being a step mom. I can hear my mom yelling at me already if I was to help him, tellin me how stupid I am if I did. Yea no thank you. I think after all the advice from you all I won't feel so bad telling him to shove it. I'm sorry but I just don't think I can bring my mind to put all the effort and time into doin court papers especially after what he pulled on me. Thank you all again. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Smiling

I'm no ones mommy but my own babies....