Crazy Ex Stories

StepMadre's picture

I am curious about what is the craziest thing the BM or BioDad has done? I'm amazed by how similar everyone's situations are to mine and it's comforting to hear stories like mine. So, if anyone has any stories of BM's being completely nuts, I would like to hear about it! (Misery loves company) This isn't that crazy, but the part that bothers me the most about my BM is that she lives in complete denial and if my DH is civil to her, which he always is, she interprets that as him liking her, when in fact he hates her intensely. He is totally unemotional and neutral when dealing with her and she thinks they are on good terms! When she doesn't get her way or he doesn't include her in things she thinks she should be included in, she is really bitchy, but in general she is faky nice to him and it makes me sick. She is totally psycho and hostile to me and she thinks that I am the problem and that if I weren't there, she and my DH would be bestest friends or get back together. He has blatantly told her his perspective (in an email, shortly after we got together) but it obviously didn't sink in. I think that she is so stupid that she ignores all the history between us all and assumes that if he isn't openly hostile to her, he's not mad anymore! I can't reverse her lobotomy or make her see reality, but it pisses me off to hear her squeaky and nasally voice in the background when he talks to her and hear about the things she has tried to give him (she has tried to give him beer, cake, medicine, a carpet and other small things ?!!!?). I don't know why she doesn't get that they aren't friends and that he hates her guts? This doesn't seem major in the scheme of crazy things she has done, but it really bothers me that she doesn't see things for how they really are. My DH doesn't care and thinks she's totally psychotic and therefore not worth thinking about. He hates her and has total contempt for her, but isn't particularly bothered by her delusions about their relationship. Trying to let it go......

sarahbernheart's picture

I think the craziest thing FH's ex did was call FH and want to talk about how to fix or what they needed to do (together) for their oldest son, (he was getting in trouble at school) Now mind you this person threw said son out of her home (and called the police numerous times) when he was just 12!!! she refused to come see him or take him on visits for nearly 2 years!! and she calls out of the blue, (the school couldnt get ahold of FH) and wants to work with FH to help their son.
oh man..mostly want she wanted to do was tell FH what a bad father he was and how she could have done a better job of raising him..WTF??

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

cpreston's picture

Sad ex story…
My skid’s BM is a recovering drug addict/alcoholic.
She had a car accident with her three children in the car, middle of the day, drunk, driving to the store to get cigarettes.

She would take her middle son with her on her “dates” with the guy she was cheating on her husband (my now husband) with.

She took off and left two of her kids. Middle son went and lived with her and her drug dealing boyfriend moved in. Her and the B/F got my husbands son into smoking pot, would allow him to smoke and drink in the home

The B/F then managed to talk him into selling it. the boy got caught and was put on probation. When her son told her that the b/f is the one that talked him into selling, she called him a liar and never wanted to speak to him again and threw him out of the apartment. He was devastated. He got into more and more trouble… broke probation numerous times and wound up in juvenile detention. His mother wrote him a letter while he was in there, telling him that HE ruined her relationship with her new b/f, ruined her life… accused him of all kinds of nasty things. He was let out of detention, came home to my DH’s house and ran away… the police picked him up on shop lifting and he went back to detention.

He attempted hunging himself on mothers’ day. His mother was too drunk/stoned or whatever to drive herself to the hospital. There were mistakes made in the emergency room of the hospital, which compounded this boy’s already precarious situation and he died as a result (DH believes) of the negligence of the hospital.

DH sued… his ex would show up at court proceedings as if she were attending a social event, no remorse or sadness whatsoever about the loss of her son.

At one point, (before DH and I were married she moved into the apartment house that sits practically in our back yard. She would call SS and comment on the comings and goings of our house. When DH confronted her about it, she told him he can’t dictate to her where she lived.

She lost her nursing license because of stealing painkillers and muscle relaxers.

She has been homeless, has called the remaining children to ask for money, invited them over on Christmas eve one year, told them she had no presents for them, but had a room full of gifts ‘for friends’ she abandoned her vehicle in front of our house.

My SD works in the mental health field and had her mother committed after a violent incident with a woman who was nice enough to let her stay at her place with her… she was on drugs, and had a psychotic episode… the police were called and my SD intervened to keep her out of jail, but had her processed for 72 hours against her will and then talked her into signing papers to make SD her medical/legal power of attorney, so SD had her admitted as an inpatient for two weeks. (to detox her)

She has been clean/sober for three years now. She’s getting her drivers license back, she’s getting her nurses license back. She was living in a halfway house for a while, and is now in an apartment on her own. I pray every day for her to stay clean and sober. I see what it does to my skids (SD especially) and what that in turn does to my DH… I never met my DH’s son that passed away. He’ll never forgive her for what she did to him but we do what we can to be nice to her. We know that there’s events in our future that bring her into our life for a time and we put on a smile and act nice.

sosikofdrama's picture

My SD bio mom is completely psycho .... bipolar.. doesn't take her meds & is a drunk ... killed my SD's twin brother in a drunk driving accident ! .. I can completely relate to your story .... we have restraining orders on the X ... she has harassed me since the 1st week we started to date ... when we started to date they were already divorced for 7 plus years. I/ we have been thru HELL!!!! I do not know her ( nor would I want to ) she is a HORRIBLE person & some how some way didn't have to go to JAIL for killing her own kid ( it was her third DUI) ... in 100 years I will NEVER understand how this could be ! the X gets disability, free food and free cell phones ( that us the taxpayers pay for) & gets to walk around a FREE person reeking havoc on everyone else's lives ~ because she doesn't have her own !! She has unsuccessfully tried to kill herself 8 plus times... I just wish that suicide was the one thing she could be good at!!!!!!

Stormyweather's picture

Id say she tries to suicide just to get attention so people can feel sorry for her.

Just enough to get her admitted and not enough to kill herself.

melis070179's picture

The BM in my case isn't crazy, just a manipulative b!@ch...I think everyone here knows what mine did! And is rewarded monthly for it! ugh

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

WowjustWow's picture

BM did the same thing. DH had a great job when the separated. He was paying her like $800+ a month and had the kids half the time. This was not court mandated, he just did it. Well bitch got greedy and decided to take him to court a year later, and she lost $200/month.

Serves them right!

hismineandours's picture

Same thing happened with our bm. Dh had full custody-she had eowe and whenever. If she wanted a week for no apparent reason he gave it to her (ss was only 1 when they split)-this did slack off some when he started school but dh was typically fairly reasonable about giving her whatever she wanted in terms of visiation. Not only did she pay NO child support, but she and dh had an agreement that he would pay her if she ever had ss for an extended time (he worked out of town sometimes).
When ss was 5-dh was in iraq (she was ok with me keeping my ss while dh was in another country)and we continued arrangments as they were. She had asked for extra time over t-giving and I said i had no problem with that as dh wasnt here and all. She never showed up to get him. I had plans to go xmas shopping, my two kids were with grandparents, and ss sat with his coat on and his backpack looking out the window for an hour. The next week she has her dh call and say she will be down to pick up ss on Friday-I was like-"wait a minute-this isnt her weekend-we've got plans". He was a smart man and immediately backed off and said I'll have her call you. She did call and leave a message stating since her visit last weekend didnt work out "for whatever reason" she wanted him this w/e. I jsut never returned her call. Evidently pissed her off alot and she went and filed to enforce state parenting guidelines.
Now this was incredibly stupid on her part. For one thing she already was able to get more visitation than the state guidelines (she usually didnt take it but it was available) and the state guidelines would not have allowed her to skip a visit by her own choice and then to demand the next weekend anyway. So anyway, since dh was already going to have waste time at court over such idiocy he went ahead and filed for cs.
It still tickles me pink that she spent hundreds on a lawyer, got no more visition than she ever had as well as actual "rules and guidelines" that she had to follow, and had to begin paying dh a weekly sum. Hahaha. It also killed me because for years when she would demand her visits according to her own personal idea of schedule dh always referrd her back to those guidelines that she wanted to follow! And she initiated the whole thing. What an idiot!

Texastexastexas's picture

Oh good for ya'll! BM tried to convince judge she made $61k less than she did (submitted false check). Our lawyer stopped court proceedings and we looked up her earnings on Forbes.com. Now she pays health insurance + $1500 month + we have custody. And we had offered her a deal to pay $800+ Only half health insurance 4 months earlier to avoid my SS's having to go back to court! She told us no, she wasn't paying us a dime. The judge ruled otherwise.

stepmom008's picture

*

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Gestalt's picture

Ex took me to court for medical bills, the reason I hadn't paid my half is because I saw no proof they had been run through the insurance he was ordered to provide and there were several discrepancies in the amounts. So, I asked him for that proof that insurance had been applied and clarification on the discrepancies.

He never provided proof of having insurance or that insurance payments had been applied, and never fully answered regarding the discrepancies. In fact- the statement "I did have insurance but the deductible wasn't met." was never made. Because Ex's wife doesn't allow him to talk with me, all of these communications went through Ex's attorney, for four months we went back and forth.

They took me to court for contempt. I stated the issues I had with the situation, asked the court to determine an amount owed. Court determined I owed about $1600.00. Which was totally fine with me, now we had a number.

How much in attorney's fees do you think he paid in four months of several emails and regular letters back and forth? How much for the attorney to appear in court for 3 hours? And he was not awarded the attorney's fees he requested. He lost money on the deal when all he had to do was provide the proper information upfront.

His wife had the idiotic audacity at the kiddo exchange to rub her fingers together in the way that means money and mouth the words "money,money,money".....not only being too stupid to realize that they didn't actually win in court AND that they went backwards financially.

I had a little chuckle over that.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

doglover1's picture

BM came to my job and started agruing with me. SHe then pushed me and knocked me to the floor. It was SO embarrassing!!! SHe left after that and then called the police and said i attacked her. IT was riduclous. ANyway nothing came of it, and fortunately that was the last time I ever set eyes on her. That was 4 years ago. SHe has since tryed to make up with me. But I wont. Mostly cus she is a POS mother to her daughter. I would like not to hate her so much but Just the thought of her ugly puss makes me want to kick her butt! ALthough i know i cant, she is one of those butch type jocks, she would cream me.

StepMadre's picture

Wow, I think you all have the same BM as me! What is it with their greed for CS and total psychotic attitude that they can do anything they want (even if it is illegal) and get away with it? This reminded me of a few more things my BM did. The CS thing really pisses me off and I see that most of you also go through this, which is comforting, but enraging. She and my H were split for 6 years after the birth of their first son (he broke up with her when she got pregnant because she lied to him and tried to trap him by having a baby). He was a completely devoted dad and had his son half the time and paid over half of his expenses. He and the BM got along great and CS wasn't an issue at all. Things only got bad when he started dating someone else. Keep in mind that during this whole six year period she never expressed any interest in getting back together with him or even hinted at it at all. She flipped out and being young and naive he agreed to give it another shot with her as long as she promised that she would take her birth control (which he paid for). He made it clear that he wasn't in love with her and that although he cared about her (vomit) they were getting together for the sake of their son, so he could have two parents in the same home and a somewhat normal home life. Surprise, surprise, a few months later she told him she was pregnant again! He was really upset and to make it worse, she didn't tell him for two weeks because she knew he would be mad! She told him right before they got to his parents house on a trip because she knew he couldn't show how upset he was in front of them and it would buy her time. It was so thoughtless and inconsiderate. He asked her what had happened with the BC and she acted guilty but claimed she had been taking it. He searched through their bathroom and found three packets of her BC from the three previous months completely unused! She totally lied to him and was too stupid to hide the evidence!!! She comes from a trailer trash family (just to be clear, my mom lived in a trailer when I was a baby and I don't think that is bad, but there is a trashy type that I call trailer trash-you all know what i'm talking about) and his family is really nice and classy. Her mom is a drunk and brought home random men from bars when she was a kid, fully admitted to having all her children to trap various men (all the kids had different dads) and completely neglected and emotionally abused her kids. Two of the BM's siblings are heroin addicts (one is mentally handicapped due to a car accident relating to heroin and alcohol) and another is in jail and the other one beats his wife. My H's family is stable, kind, classy and loving and my H had a wonderful upbringing and I am convinced that BM wanted to weasel her way into his family and trapping him with kids was her plan. His family never liked her, but they were nice to her and included her in things and they adore their grandkids. She desperately wanted to marry my H but he refused which is extremely satisfying to me. Nothing she said worked and he fobbed her off by telling her that he already felt married to her and he meant that he felt miserable and trapped! LOL. Anyway, so she lied about her BC use and got pregnant twice and by that point he felt so trapped and resigned that he had little willpower to do anything about it even though he fantasized about leaving her constantly. Anyway, during their split CS wasn't an issue at all and then when he got together with me she told him initially that they would be able to work out splitting the childcare costs 50/50 and promised she wouldn't involve lawyers. So out of the blue she served him with papers (during the eldest SS's birthday party at our place) trying to get full custody and an insane amount of CS! He eventually asked her why she went back on her word and why she wasn't willing to work things out reasonably and without lawyers and she said that it was because he was with me! She said that she would drop it all if he left me (as if!). It was so blatantly petty and disgusting. He also asked her why she hadn't done this during their first split and she said that it was because she "knew" that they were "destined" to get back together some day. Crazy!!!! So she fully admitted that the reason she went for so much CS and tried to get full custody was for totally petty reasons, not because she needs it for the kids. She had also told both him and I that she fully wanted him in the kids lives (he is a very involved dad and always has been) and then proceeded to try to keep him from seeing them at all! The kids are very attached to him and it would have devastated them to be kept from their dad. He pointed all this out and she responded that he had "forfeited" his right to see his kids because he had "abandoned his family" and got together with me! I really wonder if she realizes how crazy, petty and evil this is and that she was totally willing to hurt her own children just to hurt him and get revenge. It's disgusting. Weirdly enough, she doesn't want to alienate him completely (way too late for that!) and so after doing these heinous things she realizes that she's gone too far and then acts syrupy sweet and faky nice to him and acts like nothing happened. She can call his wife a bitch and say that I am abusing her kids (they adore me btw) and that I am "mentally unfit" to be around them (because I had ovarian cancer-and she says that this makes me "unstable"!!!!!!!!!!) and she thinks that he will forget all that and like her???? I could write a novel of all the evil things she has done and she still seems to think that she can do anything she want and they will still be on great terms. She also tried to attack me at work, but I had my boss call her and say she couldn't. I would have slapped her with a lawsuit faster than you can say "crazy" if she had. Before their split she lied to him constantly and it usually involved money. He kept finding out that she had taken out loans and not paid them and not paid any bills that she said she would and he only found out about it when collection agents called or the electricity was cut off! We have caught her in so many lies and she doesn't even deny it and just says "so?" I am completely disgusted and shocked by anyone being this nasty and evil. Before I got together with my husband I had never met anyone like this or had anyone in my life this crazy and vicious and it's been a big adjustment to me that she will be in my life for another fourteen years. With the CS issue, she makes almost twice as much as we do and we have the kids half the time and already pay for half of their expenses. My H's insurance covers the kids (he has great insurance through work) and hers doesn't pay for squat. We are struggling by and never eat out or have any luxuries and she is taking the kids out to eat constantly and spending OUR money on clothes for herself (the joke is that she looks horrible and disgusting no matter what she wears and apparently buys her clothes at the Fat and Ugly store for women). Despite all this, she still tells the kids that my H abandoned them and that they are "poor" because he "left them." It makes me sick and I know that she has sooooo much bad karma coming her way. I wonder what she is going to do when we no longer have to pay CS? We are planning a party for the last day that we have to send off a check. Smile Anyway, I know everyone says this, but I don't understand why the mother is so favored in CS disputes? My sister gets squat from the father of her son and doesn't seem to be able to do anything about it and yet we have to pay through the nose? I don't get it. It is blatantly unfair and anyone looking at our individual situation agrees. My comfort is that although she is a greedy pig and is living off of my H's hard work, we have a happy thriving marriage and I will always have his love and she just has his contempt and hatred and is fat, ugly and alone.

stepmamma2theMs's picture

I know what you mean about CS being completely unfair. My DH thinks that everyone is like his crazy ex, who automatically got custody just because the court favors mothers and uses CS and all her state aid to buy things like clothes for her $500 dachshund while we barely scrape by. Yet when I was growing up my BF didn't pay anything to help my mother raise me and my mom couldn't do anything about it because he had moved to a different state.

Angel37's picture

Ok, I have so many stories, but the ones that stand out are each and every time that the ex and his ex gf would call the cops on me but end up getting into trouble themselves!

One time the gf and ex's brother came banging on my door. I told them to go away (I was being severely stalked and harassed at that time and had an OP for a beating that I received with a belt and fists). Anyway, they wanted my daughter's bookbag. I would have given it to them if they would have just gotten off of my porch and sat in the car so that I could have set the book bag outside. I didn't feel safe enough to open my door, though. So, anyway, gf calls the police and starts yelling at them when they got there about how I wouldn't open my door to them. Cops told them that they were trespassing and if they ever set foot on my property again, no matter the reason, they would be hauled into jail.

Many more times of calling the police happened for stupid things.

Then the last one occurred. Summer vacation had just begun for the kids. We have 50/50 custody and on the day that I was to pick up my children at the house at 9 AM, I had a really REALLY bad gut feeling. Couldn't reach the ex to confirm that I would be there (he was at work and the kids were home with the gf). Left him a nice voicemail reminding him. The really bad feeling kept getting worse so I called my friend to come with me. Not kidding...within 10-20 seconds of me pulling into the driveway, I was surrounded by police. 3 town cops and 2 county. They wanted to know why I was there, had I gotten out of the car, was there a confrontation, etc. Turns out that the gf had told my daughter that she was going to call the police on me when I got there...she did. She called 911 and told them that there was some kind of confrontation and that's why they got there so quickly. Anyway, I had my court order with me (thanks, gut feeling!) and my witness so the police ended up writing gf up for trying to interfere with visitation. It made a beautiful police report! And my daughter said that the officer in charge was in the house reprimanding her.

stepmasochist's picture

Let's see. BM didn't show up for her divorce because she thought that if she didn't show her child support payments wouldn't be lowered. guess what, FH got custody so child support was lowered to NOTHING.

She does drugs, gets arrested for them with a druggie boyfriend then asks FH when he gets custody, "Why would you do this to me???"

Um, right up until he got custody she was practically begging him to take her back although she was pregnant with another man's child. Oh and btw, the other man was just released from doing 3 months in jail for assault. Lovely.

She allowed a registered sex offender to live in her yard in a tent and was so worried that FH would find out. I told one of the probation officers in town and CPS and that was the end of that.

She told the skids when FH got custody that their dad was going to take them away and they'd never see her again.

Um, that's all I can think of right now. I'd have to say I can probably sum all of that up as just plain stupid (she is INDEED dumber than a bag of hammers) and not necessarily crazy except if you take into account this quote attributed to Albert Einstein:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

BM has had 4 kids by 3 different men none of which had any desire to marry her previous to her getting knocked up, thinking that was going to somehow make someone fall in love with her and take care of her for the rest of her life. So far it hasn't panned out, who knows maybe baby-daddy number three - the felon, will stick around and make all her dreams come true. Ya, right.

StepMadre's picture

Thank God for this site. These stories are awesome (I mean horrifying, but so bad that they are awesome). You all rock!

sageleaf's picture

Its good to know Im not the only one out here suffering and going NUTS as a future SM with a craaaaaaaaaaazy BM in our lives! Its hard to keep your head, be civil, and the "better person". VERY HARD! The fact that it is so hard just really makes me want to keep trying and be the best wife I can be. Its good to know we are not alone.

annoyedstepmom's picture

I absolutely AGREE with you! It's been 6 years for me dealing with the crazy ex of my husband. We even tried counseling! LOL...I was pregnant. She looked pissed somewhat. He had a vasectomy for her, and reversed for me!
15-yr old SD came to live with us mid last year. Since then, crazy ex lost custody and ALL the child support and had to pay us!
She never contacted her daughter after that. Her mother apparently abandoned her, but sees it as her daughter betrayed her.
SD is a complete emotional mess, rude, disrespectful, and driving me UP THE WALL onto the ceiling!

Serena's picture

{Sheesh Angel37, what a psycho you had to deal with!!}

BM used to call, drunk, once a week or so and tell DH that she wanted him back, she was leaving her BF, that she wanted to be a family, etc. He used to listen to her ramble on, trying to gauge if SD was in danger, but then he figured her out and started hanging up. Then she started calling me under the guise of telling me how lucky I am to have him because he's such a catch. I started hanging up pretty quick too. Then she started showing up at the door. Wow, have some self respect.

Then there was the whole bar incident from a couple months ago where she had a friend trap me on the dance floor and start making fun of me in front of everyone. Too weird.

Guess I should feel lucky. At least she never hit me!

WowjustWow's picture

No she didn't! Demanded pillows and blankets from your house???? I wouldn't want to touch anything that came from BM's house with a 100 foot pole!

I laughed so hard when I read you sent over the dog's blanket.

Wow, this one might take the cake for being a loony toon.

Reluctant Step Mum's picture

Love this post!

My husbands ex wife and BM to his two kids is a weirdo. Where do I start?

When we got married in Fiji two years ago, she asked my husband if she could come with us! and when he said NO, she went to his parents behind our backs and asked them to take her - nutjob. By the way she did not go (I would have had her throat if she had turned up).

She used to have a car, but had a 'dream' that she would have an accident, so she simply stopped driving it and never drove it again (no kidding)! I would have thought that taking it to a mechanic for a check over may have been a more rational decision.

She told her son that he couldn't ever play football because his neck was 'too long'.

When my husband tried to speak with her about his young daughter not doing well at school - she simply said that the child 'would get her intelligence in high school'.

A real nailed down woman LOL

A Step parent is in a no win role

StepMadre's picture

Hilarious!!!!!!

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki

dazedandconfused's picture

The most recent fiasco....

My BF and I were enjoying a wonderful camping trip... just us! We get a call on Friday night from the sheriffs saying that he needs to come get his boys cause the BM and her new BF just got in a drunken brawl, he tries to leave, she jumps in front of his car, he runs her over!!!!! So my BF has to take off, I totally and completely understand, we have a short decusion about what is about to happen (he has full custody, but just lets her see the boys) We are going to have the boys full time, unless her new BF is to not be around the boys!! I am supportive of this, no child should be put through seeing drunken brawls and violence. He returns in the morning with no children, once again she gets away with her craziness and the children have to witness the continuation of her and her BF's drunken fights!!

She contiinually tells the oldest that she doesn't want him and actually asked to have only custody of the youngest! She wanted to seperate the boys!!

She had 'adult relations' in front of her children and a whole campfire full of people cause some guy just got out of jail and she wanted to reward him! And she wasn't quiet about it, my BF had to takes his children and leave the area, but not before they got an eye and ear full. I actually got to be a witness to this one as well, prior to becoming involved with my BF!

When the oldest was 8yrs old, she downed a bottle of pills with some Vodka, then sliced her wrists open in front of him and says that its his fault!!!

And my BF still leaves her alone with his children!!!!!

She is always meddling in our lives, calls up my BF threatening suicide, he runs to her rescue!! All for the children of course! She had full access to the house, until about a year ago. She would leave him love notes, go through my things, take items, and always made sure I knew she was in the house!!!

bookgirl's picture

I think the BM who haunts my life has some undiagnosed mental problems. She does good for months & then loses it. Recently DH found out she'd been telling people we met before he left her, a rumour I enjoy because DH's response was, 'why wouldn't I leave you for someone like Bookgirl? You don't hold a candle to her.' ~Bookgirl~

Hogger's picture

The BM is my world flares up about 3-4 times a year and has bi-polar. Christmas, SS's bday are always a problem time. If BM doesn't get her way she starts throwing out all sorts of lies and twists everything around that she gets told by SS. Trying to cause problems between me and my SO...guess what honey, it's not working! Smile My SO has stopped responding to her, we figure that will piss her off more than anything else. There is no reasoning with a bi-polar person when they are in a 'mood'. My experience anyway. (I thought meds were supposeed to help???)

questioningitall's picture

sounds Familiar- Our BM is about a every 4-6 week rotation of crazy/not crazy. What's the deal? I am a BM as well with an ex and step mom with my BD7. I let them live their life and we have a decent relationship and they would agree with me. So I know it's not just being in a divorce situation... I truly think some BM's are just psycho and can't move forward with thier life .

shays1989's picture

Am new to this and noticing the same thing...She is an ABSOLUTE MESS and could give 2 shits about her kids...I'm at my ropes end...

tan868's picture

My DH's ex had nothing to do with oldest SS(27) for 13 years. She had been very cruel to him for many years. There were two other younger SS's to the marriage. He lived and worked with is father until he bought his first house at 17. In 2006, DH and I and SS and partner(who was pregnant at the time) all moved away from BM's town.....a fresh start for us all. When our first grandchild was born, BM made a phone call to the hospital and that was the start of it.............BM started to SMS SS once a week, making out that she is an angel of a person now. The next thing was she rang DH to say youngest SS and partner were pregnant. From that time on, she started to SMS DH, and DH would never tell me about it. DH then bought middle SS a car (this was after a month of being back in touch with him, due to SS telling DH over 6 years ago, that he was disgusted to have DH's surname and hated him and never wanted to have anything more to do with him. Low and behold BM SMS's DH again to say thanks for helping SS out.

I feel as though there is something going on with BM and SS's, especially that they are all in touch with one another again. My anxiety remains intact.............and suspiscion is always at the doorstep.......

tan868's picture

My DH's ex had nothing to do with oldest SS(27) for 13 years. She had been very cruel to him for many years. There were two other younger SS's to the marriage. He lived and worked with is father until he bought his first house at 17. In 2006, DH and I and SS and partner(who was pregnant at the time) all moved away from BM's town.....a fresh start for us all. When our first grandchild was born, BM made a phone call to the hospital and that was the start of it.............BM started to SMS SS once a week, making out that she is an angel of a person now. The next thing was she rang DH to say youngest SS and partner were pregnant. From that time on, she started to SMS DH, and DH would never tell me about it. DH then bought middle SS a car (this was after a month of being back in touch with him, due to SS telling DH over 6 years ago, that he was disgusted to have DH's surname and hated him and never wanted to have anything more to do with him. Low and behold BM SMS's DH again to say thanks for helping SS out.

I feel as though there is something going on with BM and SS's, especially that they are all in touch with one another again. My anxiety remains intact.............and suspiscion is always at the doorstep.......

Skyye's picture

I am new on this forum today and was so shocked to see this condition talked about. I am living with and engaged to a wonderful man who is now divorced and they have 4 children together ages 15 - 9. The EX (BM?) has kept these children ill almost since birth, especially the boys ( 2 of each)The 12 yr old lives in fear daily , carries a med bag with him at all times ... supposedly severely allergic to peanute.. but on 2 occasions snuck into fudge made with chocolate and peanut butter and was fine. No epi pen ,, not one small reaction. The youngest male allergic to dairy, eggs , milk, but can down 4 donuts and eat bread and eat eggs in cooked food plus milkwith no reaction. The girls only think they have fruit and veg allergies.

She runs the household almost as a cult, fanatically religious with her own interpretations. She discusses my finaces sins openly and constantly with the kids and condems us both for living together and "fornicating" a word that came out of the 12 year olds mouth last weekend. She calls for no reason and often 3 times daily. She tries to control her Ex's behaviour and his money - even tho she gets over 4000. a month including alimony and child support. She home schools so the kids are with her 24.7 except for every second weekend when they are with us>She always sends them upset about something.
She lies to them and calls is parents to tell them it is their fault their son is irresponsible .. and trust me he is NOT.

The elder son condems openly and in her words... every move we make ... ifwe have a glass of wine we re immoral and drunkards...she has taught them that it is not your deeds or actions in the world ..but your belief only that gets you to heaven . They are disrepectful and un disciplined.

He pays the support and she takes them to camps , amusement parks and events and tells the kids he does not give her enough and spends it on me which is not the case. We scrimp and save. We can gain no ground with this woman and I am getting resentful and tired of feeling the outsider and that my home is not my home at all.

I am looking for a psycologist to help me with coping skills and hope some of your experiences and tips might help as well ...
The longer I am here the more extreme herbehaviour and that of 2 children get. It is escalating not going the other way as I had hoped. Please share any help you have . I so need it !
Thank you !
Thank you !

nomorelies's picture

We had similar experiences when bm "found God", but not to those extremes. She did used to tell skids that it was bf's fault that they didnt have food in the house and that he always had enough to eat. She would also tell them that he didnt love them because he wouldnt give her more money. She was unemployed and getting $300 a week in cs and renting $1200/month apartments - 10 years ago. Hang in there.

Conflicted's picture

That woman is a nut-job.... What did dh say about all of that?

StepMadre's picture

this works out, because wow. This is a really messed up woman. She sounds like the worst of the worst. Her actions are so incredibly pathetic that my jaw literally dropped reading this. I'm so, so sorry you have to deal with this. Keep us all posted.

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki

Rags's picture

How stupid is SpermDad?????????? Oh let me count the endless examples.

You have four out-of-wedlock spawn by three different mothers. You would think that you would figure out how that thing works and keep your pecker in your pants.

You dip-shit, you periodically ask my Son (SS-17) if his Mom (My Wife) still loves you. Ummmmm you dip-shit. When you perpetrated statutory rape on her and she had MY Son she was 16. She is now a graduate degreed CPA and you are a intermittently employed plumber who lives in a house owned by your parents, pays no rent and pawn your younger three spawn of on your mother to raise. The fact that you would even ask this question proves how utterly toothless, worthless and stupid you really are!

When you call to ask if SS has had a tetanus shot and we say no, you really are going to have to leave the camp ground and drive him to a Doctor for a shot. Calling back a dozen times to ask if we are sure does not change the facts. And, as you learned, if you do not care for the kid when he is with you we really will call an ambulance to pick him up, transport him to the ER (2hrs away), get him the shot and stick you with the bill. Next time we will send a helicopter. Wait until you get that bill! }:)

The list goes on and on and on.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

stepmasochist's picture

Wow, can you get school to teach proper butt wiping? Because I might send a note with SD8 if that's the case. Blum 3

StepMadre's picture

LOL!!!! My skids need to go to this school! I don't call them skidmarks for nothing! Biggrin

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

stepmom008's picture

Uh, shouldn't it be the school sending a note to BM to make sure that SHE ensures that SD wipes her bum properly?

Good grief.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

glynne's picture

The worst that BM did were the lies told to SD to alienate her from DH. We always took the high road and did not disrespect BM in our household for SD's sake. We were repaid with a hideous ugly lies. SD has figured out the truth and now has a solid albiet codependent relationship with DH but those years were hell.

Glynne

Constantly_guilty's picture

The BM in my life is actually not that bad. I don't care for her because I strongly disagree with the choices that she makes in parenting (or more accurately being best friends with) SD10. I don't agree with some of her personal choices (what woman voluntarily marries a man living in another country and then leaves her child behind?). But for the most part she stays out of my way (something to do with living in another country). Occassionally I hear that she has been stirring the pot with SD10 about me or DH but as frustrating as that is I recognize that she is operating out of fear. She gave up her daughter to another woman for all intents and purposes. She must hate herself for that far more than I or SD10 ever could.

That said, has she done jaw dropping things from time to time? Sure. When we used to share custody with her she could make things difficult. The worst was when she broke up with a boyfriend that she had brought into SD10's life. SD10 really liked him and was quite upset that they had broken up. So BM sets to trashing him right in front of SD10. Later that day she dropped SD10 off to us for visitation. The next day she called to ask for my help in fixing the problem she had created with SD10 because now she wanted to get back together with the boyfriend. She just made bad choices and continues to make bad choices at every turn.

efettig's picture

Let's see. My ex husband has his girlfriend drop him off at a gas station near our home, his gf comes and gets the kids and then they go pick dad up to go home for the weekend. I'm not sure why he does this. He doesn't want anything to do with me, and doesn't talk to me or co-parent with me, but yet I'm bound by the court to give him visitation. Either he doesn't want to see me, or else he thinks I'm going to call the cops so they can serve him with his $3000 body attachment bond for back support. He's a real peach!

Frustrated woman's picture

hmmm lets see the latest thing the BM did to us was 2 weeks ago she was getting my SS which we have custody of for visitation on her weekend and she recently moved a state away to Ohio because she broke up with your boyfriend for the millionth time she has no job and she had to run to her baby brother to bail her out financially and get her back on her feet. Anyway at the time she was supposed to get my SS for visitation she didnt have any money and she actually called my fiance and asked him to pay her to take her son on visitation because she had no money and her brother didnt have any more work for her at the time at his business to pay her any money. I nearly passed out I felt like we would have paid my SS's BM to babysit her own child....LOL LOL is that pathetic or what I have never encountered such a pathetic loser in my entire life. My fiance thought it was important that my ss spend some time with his BM so he sent $20 with him. I hate that my fiance is such a pushover when it comes to her, its like he hates her more then anything but he is still so nice to her its just weird and I will never ever understand it. The only time he gets rude with her is when she tries dragging me into things when I have never done anything to her or her children. But that doesnt matter she is better for a couple months and then she turns all psycho on me again... I just hate her to the point that sometimes I wish she would just die. I know that sounds bad and everytime I think that I have to ask god for forgiveness, because that is so out of my character I am a very loving caring woman and I hate that I have such hatred for one person that I actually would feel better if they were dead... Does this make me a bad person?

efettig's picture

No, I feel the same way. I am always telling my BF that if my BioDad would just die, our kids would be spared from so much drama and dysfunction. I know it's awful to say and feel, but I really do think it's true.

IAMTHEMOM's picture

-IAMTHEMOM
I HAVE SO MANY..
BUT THE LATEST AND GREATEST IS VERY DISTURBING BUT ENTERTAINING..
SS-8 comes home from a weekend of "supervised" visitation at BMs parents. He proceeds to tell us that BM was in the shower and he had to use the bathroom(they only have one) so he goes in and as he is on the pot she asks him why he does not call her. SS tells her he does not know her number(she rarely calls unless she is in her obsessive "IAMTHEMOM" mode and he never asks to call her). She makes him repeat it to her until he has memorized it. SO SS gets up to leave and BM tells him to get her bible and bring it into the bathroom. BM then makes SS read to her the entire Proverbs 7. WHILE BM IS IN THE SHOWER> if you have time please read it..
NOTE:
this will be HER talking to him not GOD. AND I am the immoral adulterous woman referred to in it. BY THE WAY.. she left my husband for a woman when SS was 7 months old. I met him when SS was 2.
OH I have SOOOOOOOOO many more stories.
Hollar if you are interested!

dsfsdjfn's picture

Just came across this today...made my day Wink

the stupidest thing bm ever did (in my eyes) was she called DH because apparently he had some tupperwear that was hers and it had gotten mixed up when they separated things (funny she remembers this so many months after...)so she says she will come pick it up...she didnt know I would be over (I was in the shower)so she comes over and was wearing a long coat (I am sure you can guess where this is going...)

She opens her coat in the door way and miss BM is wearing nothing underneath that but her smile...I came out of the shower to hear DH laugh his head off and tell her :we werent doing it then, we wont be doing it now and shut the door in her face...she has done worse...just not as dumb...

Insta-Mom's picture

Bm did the same thing to us, wanted more child support so went back to court. Because she can't get the kids to school on time or feed them breakfast we have them during the school week and she gets them on weekends. We have way more overnights. So instead of DH paying $317 a paycheck... she has to pay him $138 a month. The look on her face when the judge said that was priceless I wish I could have a picture of that moment!

Tiredofit's picture

I can relate to 99% of the stories in this forum. I have been married to DH for 25 years and we were together for a year before that. When we met the Skids were 5sd and 9ss. Their mother initiated the divorce and had an affair and wanted her freedom. She said she didn't like anything about my DH and went on about her life. My DH stilled loved the freak for some reason and before I came into the picture, he would do EVERYTHING for her that she asked, including babysit while she went on dates and take little family vacations together. It just makes me sick all the the things he did for her. Well, it didn't stop merely because we got married. He continued to carry out duties as if they were somewhat related. Feed the dog when she left town, fix broken things around the house when she asked and even go in and pack the skids weekend suitcases if she was too busy (which only lasted a couple of months because she refused to send clothes to our house, we were to go buy them a wardrobe to keep with us). We would have hellacious fights that first year or so. She was CONSTANTLY calling our home any hour of the night, buying my DH expensive father's day gifts from the kids, (yeah right) and always bad mouthing me and my little girl 2 years old. I packed my bags many times that first year. I don't really know why I stayed quite honestly because I felt like I was the outsider. After many all night conversations, my DH finally came to terms with how it was all affecting me. For many years, it was like a war with BM about everything. She always wanted MORE MORE MORE. When she didn't get what she wanted it was always my fault. She always made catty remarks about me and how things were so different before I came into the picture. (yeah, things usually change when someone gets remarried!) She just couldn't understand why DH wasn't at liberty to come over to "fix her furnace". When I married DH, I automatically became her rival whether I wanted to or not. She treated me like I broke up their marriage and I didn't meet DH for 3 years after their divorce. She even went as far as to tell me that I trapped him! I don't know how the hell I did that considering that we didn't have a child together until we were married close to ten years. We paid 700.00 a month cs, half medical and dental, half of the extras and had to fight to get our visitation. She called ALL the shots and totally resented anything I did or said and was the catalyst in what problems are evident with myself and the Skids now. When the kids got older, DH paid for half their college and provided for them as much as he could. His kids were always cared for before anything else. After going through 20 years of shear HELL and the Skids got married, she had the balls to come and ask my forgivness for everything she ever did (including reaking havoc over the wedding preparations which we paid for). I have tried to be cordial to this witch "for the sake of the kids" but I just cannot do it anymore. Whenever I go to the grandkids bday parties, Easter egg hunts, baby showers or anything else she is attending, she does littly crappy things to put me in my place as the STEP. At the last little bday party we attended, I was sitting 5 feet from the grandchild and had my camera taking a picture of her while I sitting on a stool. BM came and stood 1 foot in front of me and my camera lens, totally blocking my view completely. I took a snapshot of her ass because it was right in my face. She is just a total B!t@h. I have been told by others that attend these events that I seem uncomfortable. DUH!! Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer be attending anything that she is also included. Maybe it makes me look like an ass but quite honestly, I resent the fact that I am expected to be around her after all the years of torment. I will be happy to plan bday parties at our home to make up for not attending the one she is at and I won't expect my DH not to go to anything he wants to go to. Am I being unreasonable? I don't know what reaction to expect from the Skids over this. I wish they would just understand how I feel and respect my feelings for a change!!!! Any input would be appreciated.

aidenjames's picture

when my husband and I first started to date, his ex would fake the children having seizures. I think there was a total of 5 times just so he could drop what he was doing in the middle of the night mind you and go to the hospital. Yes I am 100% sure she was faking it. She wanted him to comfort her and be one big happy family again. Except she was the one who walked out on him for another man.

oh and she also wanted to move in with my husband and I when we got our first place together. Mind you she is still to this day seeing the guy she cheated on my husband with. Yeah...what else....

oh good one, she threatens to take away the kids because she gets mad at my husband (for stupid things). I am a registered nurse, my husband is a auto tech, we make good money and have a stable place for the children to live. She lives at her moms house and is unemployed. Not because of the economy but because she wants to be a stay at home mom. Oh and she also has another child as well and says she wants more. Yeah, I can't stand the crazy b#(ch.

NikkiMac1's picture

Wow! Great stories - How about My husbands ex to this day (4 years later) still thinks that my husband is going to go back to her.

After she abused the privledge of having our cell and home numbers I told her it would probably be best that she didn't contact us again - so she went and tried to get a warrant on me for threatning her with bodily harm. That was super funny!

When my husband and I first started dating we were coming back from going out to dinner and a movie and she was parked in the apartment complex parking lot at midnight with their son asleep in the back of the car and all she would do is crack the window and yell his name crying - PSYCHO!!!

Not knocking praying or anything but she would Fedex him letters to his work (because he would ignore her calls) saying that she had talked to God about it and he told her that they would be together again one day.

I could go on and on and on for days since I have 4+ years of putting up with her stupidity but those are just a few to add for today Smile

aleshiafenner's picture

I got a good one, the ex attacked my husband when he was visiting the kids for Christmas with the kids watching, who had to pull her off him. She looks like she is close to 300lbs fat is what she is. Then she had the nerve to call me and tell me she can do whatever she wanted, and call me a childish little girl.

She called the cops on him saying he assualted her. The things is he called to so the police saw the marks and could tell she assulted him. She got arrested Friday night and is going to be sitting in jail till Monday.

She also had the nerve to ask when she was getting the car back (its his car that he is letting her drive because he is stationed in Korea), she also try getting his key to the house (he owns the house she lives in).

Child protective service came out and talked to him and the kids last night because it all happened in front of the kids and she went as far as trowing a sword at him. Which could have hit one of the kids.

Did I mention she got my phone number by hacking in to the husbands email account.

dvm99's picture

I love this post. I have been married to BF now for 10 yrs. While we were dating BM tried everything to get him to break up with me. When we got ingaged she married her first husband. Three weeks after we were married, she had a guy call and make it soulf like I was cheating on my husband. On our 1 yr. anniversary she left her husband and called my husband every night for two weeks. We receive midnight call for the first 4 years of our marriage. We then disconneted the home phone and only have cellphones. He still gets at least 5 2am phone calls a month. The funny thing is that he never calls her back. He hates her so much. One of the stories talked about how if BD was nice BM thought he liked her. Well with my husband ex, if they fight he likes her....And they ALWAYS fight.

Denial's picture

My DH's Ex - There are so many, but the craziest recently was several months ago. She called DH to see if he could take SS to his counseling appointment on one of the weekends we had him (duh - why wouldn't we - the kid needs it BAD). DH asked if it was individual, group, or what - she said it was individual. He then asked if she was going to be there (she likes to tell us she won't be some place and then show up). She said no. So WE take him to the counseling appt. because DH would just be sitting in the waiting room himself bored for an hour and we were going to do lunch afterwards. As the 3 of us sat there, the counselor came out and said "DH, SS, BM - are we ready?" My DH said, WE? And this is 1Life, my wife - she is not BM. Long story short - BM set up "family counseling" to try to resolve issues to get the family back as a unit. In talking with counselor, we were figuring this out in lobby as BM came in with her hair done up, fancy clothes. We were livid, walked out with SS. Piece of s--t heffer!

My Ex - (we didn't have children together) - BUT CRAZY - the stupid moron brought his girlfriend to our divorce mediation/hearing. Can you imagine the look on the judges face when she stood up and started saying he deserved the house?

SteppingUp's picture

SD4 asks me if I can take her to get her ears pierced. I say, "Why don't you ask mommy to take you?" She says, "Mommy won't do it because she says she doesn't have any money." BM gets $900 a month child support and lives with her parents!! GRRRRRRRR!

This weekend we see BM, she has a new nose piercing...

SteppingUp's picture

SD4 tells us that BM's new boyfriend spanks SS2. Mind you, this child does not need spanking...stickers for rewards and 2-minute time outs for not listening work perfectly for us. In a year that I've been in the picture

The issue is raised with BM immediately, and she ends up telling us that she had her new BF doing ALL OF THE DISCIPLINING of the kids because they don't listen to her. WTF? YOU are the parent, psycho. Later in the conversation, we find out this has been going on "for a few months". They've only been together SINCE NOVEMBER! She tried telling us that she knows that I discipline the kids (nevermind that I've been here living with my guy for a year now, so some of the rules of our household are MY household, where this guy doesn't even live with them, also that I would NEVER spank the kids, and only ever give time outs on rare occasions when I'm watching them, otherwise all discipline goes through Dad).

So let's get this straight: she ropes in a new boyfriend, and within a month he is doing "ALL" the disciplining of her two kids, which includes spanking a child that does not need spanking. What guy would want to do this? What mother would even try to put her BF in this situation?

A few days later, we were having daycare issues and BM offers up her BF to be the new "daycare" because he doesn't have a job. WHAT? My guy refused to allow this.

Here's the kicker...she broke up with her BF last week, and said she just wasn't into him anymore. Whatever.

VERY scary for us to see that she could care less about finding an effective parenting strategy...and that she'll put a boyfriend (that she isn't even that serious about) in charge of discipline, including spanking. Stay tuned for more adventures as she continues dating Smile

Greenfig's picture

The ex went completely nuts when her daughter drew a picture of us gardening together. We gardened the day before.

She tore off the picture from the classroom wall, stormed out yanking the kid by the arm. When they got outside she tore the drawing up into little pieces while screaming at the kid "are you trying to undermine me as a mother". The TA saw her doing it. At the next kid exchange she tore into my ex screaming the same thing. Then she took the kid and threw her out the door and then threw her backpack at her.

Other story: When my partner and his ex were still married she was constantly depressed. She was diagnosed bipolar and had a few suicide attempts under her belt.
When she had her kid she said that she felt like Andrea Yates and felt like hurting her kid, then jumping in front of a bus.

Wickedx1's picture

I'm truly sorry to read everyone's stories but I am so grateful to know that I AM NOT THE ONLY STEPMOM TORTURED BY A CRAZY, EVIL, PSYCHO WOMAN that my husband was stupid enough to ever get naked with!

epgr's picture

there are so many crazy things to choose from.. its hard to pick one.. hmm
she told the child support court that the kid she had with someone else is in the hospital waiting for a liver transplant and she is pissed (her exact words) because she is being drug away from her dying child over a dollar (her child was not sick, not waiting for a transplant of any sort.. she was actually in contempt)
then there was the other contempt hearing that she missed, instead of going to that she decided that SD had "life threatening asthma", RUSHED her to the Drs. called DH screaming at him that she is soo bad, and that by him not doing anything he is playing with her life.. BTW Dr. found nothing, did further tests and found nothing..
wait.. she did promise to have a huge bday party for SD a few years ago, but instead took off, moved 4 hours away, didnt say one word to DH, or kids.. she didnt have a job, or a car.. ended up living in a homeless shelter for 9 months.. even though she has family here, and could have lived with them, we had no way to get ahold of her, she used a phone card given to her by her parents and a pay phone.. then she got mad at US when we didnt call her cuz skids were in a car accident and SD broke her arm .. seriously how did she think we were suppose to do that??
but then again the craziest was stealing over 8,000 from a job she worked at...

IAMTHEMOM's picture

While SS7 was on the toilet at a pizza joint BM tells him that she does not have him NOT because she is unfit like everyone says but because she is a Lesbian. When asked why we spoke to her parents about it.. furious of course.. and thinking they will be too.. they tell us that SHE said GOD spoke to her and told her to tell him.
One of many stories but needless to say the kid is in therapy
-IAMTHEMOM

cvn221's picture

My SD BM is bipolar. She is absolutely CRAZY! Thank God she lives in another state, but it hasn't stopped her from driving three days straight to get here. Before my husband and I were married, I became pregnant. So the situation was not easy for us to begin with. One day I came home and there were flowers on my doorstop from her welcoming me and baby to the family! A couple days later she was put in jail for going into my SD school to deliver her flowers. (Because of her crazy behavior she is not allowed on school grounds.) Since then she has threatened my life and I have had a restraining order against her. She has told her daughter that she is pregnant about fifteen times in the last two years. And then a couple weeks later she tells her that the babies have died. It is very sad. She tells her of boyfriends that do not exist. One time she said she was dating a man named Tank Turner. The name was familiar so I looked on her myspace page and saw he was a character from a movie I had seen. She claims to be in the army and has also said she is a nurse. She lives with her parents and hasn't had a job in three years. Just recently she was able to get into my facebook page and steal my pictures of my husband and I and post them to her page. She then made horrible comments about the two of us and again threatened me. As all of you know, it can really be frustrating and tiring dealing with someone who is incapable of reason. My husband doesn't want to hear me talk about it because he says it is out of our control and we are wasting time talking about her. I agree with him but sometimes I need to vent, especially since I know that this is going to be a never ending battle.

IAMTHEMOM's picture

When I first read your post I thought OMG.. It can always be worse. But the more I thought about it.. what is the definition of worse? Is it worse that yours acts out and restraining orders are necessary? or that my ss bm chooses to act as though I am insignificant do not exists? Is it worse that yours tells tall tells and sounds like she believes them. Or is it worse that the ONLY person my SS BM lies are targeting is my SS? The manipulation, the constant fear of making sure she is happy, the consant wondering if this is gonna set her off.. I feel as though he has the whole wrath of her sickness on his back.(He told us the other day he believes if he does not make her happy she will hurt herself or run off).. Our lives revolve around what she does or says to him next. SO having thought this through I empathize with you. I feel your need to vent.. I share your fear of the never ending battle. Our I just have to trust that if we do all we can to save them because lets face it the ultimate goal here is for the SS NOT to grow up to be like the BM that somewhere somehow it will work out for them. The real question is will WE as the SM survive it. -IAMTHEMOM

imagr8tma's picture

BM filed allegations of abuse against DH and myself December 2008 and enrolled SD in trauma abuse counseling sessions..... Then turned around and gave DH spring break (court ordered was her week) so she could party and be off for the week.

How do you accuse us of abusing her so badly she supposedly is hysterical when she has to visit and has nightmares that i am trying to kill her..... BUT you give up your court ordered week to us to go and party for the week in DC.

Just stupid.

********BM doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM! SD is way more important to me - then your feelings...... AND she should be to you as well.......************

epgr's picture

ahh sounds a bit like BM.. the one time she didnt willingly sign over more of her custody and decided she was gonna go to court..she claimed that she had 20 witnesses to testify how horrible we were and we would drop it if we knew what was good for us, then her lawyer called our lawyer and told him that she had the people.. hmm soo you have all these people to say that we are "terrible parents, we dont even deserve to breath the same air a her, a loving mother" (lawyers words).. umm DUHH, if we are htat bad of people you can easily find 20 to come down there and testify that, then why are you only fighting for every other weekend? seems after the horror stories that she would want full custody..
anyways, the court was running late that day, funny we didnt see anyone there with her except her enabling sister and aunt.. it was gonna be rescheduled, but she went to our lawyers office and signed the papers.. which she claims now she was tricked into doing..

IAMTHEMOM's picture

Wow- what is more dangerous the psycho x or the enabling parents and family? At least the X has some sort of excuse for being sorry.. the enablers are just ignorant.. and sorry.

Marie09's picture

Craziest thing she ever did....lol

When DH & I first started dating, we kept it on the DL b/c one we wanted to make sure this was something with both wanted before the kids met me and well BM still wanted DH back and she'd flip if she found out he was dating and I didnt want her drama. So DH & B, get into a huge fight and he tells her that he's been dating someone he loves and she needs to get it through her head that he doesnt want her and never did. So she goes into stalk mode. She somehow found out where I lived and what car I drove. So he parked his truck about a block from my house. One night, DH & I had a few drinks and were watching a movie. When we hear this loud bang on the backdoor. I had never seen her in person. Geeze, she was ugly! So I say to DH, I think your ex is out on my back porch. So I open the door, I have nothing to hide.

And she storms in my house, breaks my back door handle b/c shamou has that affect on things and I start cracking up (mind you I'm a tad tipsy). She was like what are you laughing at? I said I didnt realize you were so damn ugly and pathetic. She went off and all I could do was laugh and I guess DH wasnt expecting that reaction which caused him to laugh. BM keep asking DH to go with her and leave with her. He was laughing at this point. So she leaves and was so upset, she ran into my neighbor's fence.

The next day she plastered on Myspace how she had told me off and so on. I was still laughing at it. I guess I've never been so deseperate to want someone who clearly doesnt want me and beg someone to be with me. So I was quite amused. I think its crazy that she tracked DH down and basically went door to door till she found him.

IAMTHEMOM's picture

Wow.. I am not sure if I am most amazed by the fact that there are other people out there who REALLY get what I go through OR if it is the fact that there are SO many crazy BM's in this world.

her lastest and greatest quote..

"My testimony has been tainted with sin and hatred and bitterness."

The only true words she said in the entire message.

trixilox's picture

Ok, I don't even know where to begin...things were great with his ex until we got married and were prego with our first child. I was on the pill (religiously I wasn't ready) and here came the baby.... She made my now husband ask the doctor if possible to get prego on the pill. My SD was 5 then. She said I did it just to keep him. We planned on a bday party sleepover for my SD and her mom invited all the kids that were coming to our house to hers so that we couldn't have one here. She wants my husband and her to plan everything for SD. Birthdays, school things, parties, sleepovers, they are to plan everything including the things that we do in our home. We are not allowed to have a sitter when my SD is with us and if she finds out she will try to take off work early and come get her when we are gone. When my SD was rushed to hospital for blindness in eye my hub and I both went. I was so worried about SD I didn't even think of how he was doing. We left the other 2 kids here with hub brother and neighbor. Stayed in hotel first night when she was finally admitted. Stayed all day next day until we found out from doctor that things were not serious there was no mass and that there was no further testing going to be done. Hus was not allowed to go to cafeteria to eat he was to stay in hosp room. BM went shopping mind you for shoes and clothes and that was ok. She got angry when we left to come get the other 2 kids. Hub brother is school teacher and they at the time had 2 mo old baby. We were there everyday and came home at night. She was very unhappy and told him she was disappointed and that I should have just stayed home with the kids. Her husband was there the whole time. She called 20 times during our little family wedding reception that we had at hub parents house. Not before not after but during from start to finish. Crazy????

suebennett27's picture

Sounds like this may be EX-W behavior for a while if not forever. Do your best to stay calm and keep your wit. This may lessen the potential for her behavior to come between you and your spouse. Hopefully, eventually, she will get bored and move on. It appears she uses your SC as the reason for all this interaction with your spouse. Well children growup. Try real hard and keep trying to never let SD know how SD's Mom's behavior effects you. If successful it will help you to have a good relationship with SD. Good luck.

trixilox's picture

Thank you for the support. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship. She tries very hard to come between us. I am always very strong for the kids and dont' let them know a thing. I kill with kindness...... That is the worst thing that you can do to them is act as if it didn't bother you a bit and smile and say "have a great day" works everytime....

suebennett27's picture

After 6 years of being divorced BM (under the influence) decides to drive her car through the front of my BF's. Prior to driving the car through the front of the house she walks up to the front door her young BChildren let her in. She is holding up a picture of my BF and her asking (yelling) him what happened? Are we going to get back together? Keep in mind, she cheated on him and divorced him 6 years earlier. Realizing she was not getting anywhere she walked out the door, picked up a step ladder and threw it through his front window. I was amazed glass shattered, landed so close to the children. Thank goodness the kids were not hurt (physically) Then BM gets in her car and decides to drive it through the front house. Very grateful the house had a front porch. Police eventually picked her up as she as driving around the neighborhood. *This is only one experience, unfortunately there are many more. Over the last 5 years she has been pretty quiet but never feel like I can totally let my guard down.

violetforest's picture

I am both a bio and step parent, so here it goes crossing lines. The kids step mom gave my youngest son who was 2 a mohawk the weekend before my wedding. They knew when the wedding was and my 2 oldest girls called me bawling and telling me that they were laughing about it as they talked about how it was going to ruin my wedding and how upset I would get - instead of letting it get to me, I "did lie" to my daugters and told them that I had been planning on giving him a crew cut before the wedding anyhow and that they could tell their dad thanks for me.

In court they complained that I was overstepping my boundaries as the primary parent when I "cut" his mohawk off. All I did was tell the judge that it was the weekend before the wedding and the Judge shook his head and asked how much it cost me to have my son's hair cut and he ordered my ex to pay me the money before he left the court room. ExBF complained that he did not have the $7.00 and the Judge told him that for every day that he did not pay me that the amount would double. Ex continued to argue with the Judge and the Judge explained to him that "now you listen to me, I can and will make this worse for you, what you and your wife did is horrible - you will pay her or the amounts will go up 7 14, 28, 56 etc. If you do not pay at the end of 7 days I will put a warrant out for your arrest" It was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!

they8ntmine's picture

Some of these posts made me laugh, others made me want to cry. I was gonna say I'm glad I'm not alone with the crazy ex Bio-parent to deal with, but I wish none of us dealt with any crazies!!

Let's see a couple that I'll never forget and I prob will never remind the skids about (even when they think they're mom is the greatest and could do no wrong. Theyl figure it out someday)

When DH finally got overnight visitation (BM didn't want him to have it at first cuz SD5 SS3 and she thought they were to young) Well we had to save money up for bunk beds and when she dropped them off with us she started yelling at DH in front of the skids about money and we don't have bunkbeds for the skids (they slept on a futon the couple times they did sleep over) well the skids were with me crying about their parents fighting and I'm tryiing to console them and when BM finished yelling to punish DH she wouldn't give him the carseats cuz they were hers but she told him he could take the kids to wal-mart without the seats and she wouldn't call the cops or anything. DH tells me this and I start laughing, I'm like yea, you know darn well she's parked across the street waiting for us to pull out to call the cops. So he took the skids to our apartment and I went to the store and got the carseats. The funny thing is the seats cost me $20 for 2 of them, I couldn't imagine how the BM wouldve felt if we drove in the car without them and something happened.. Seriously!! The other great part is this was all over bunkbeds, which we had inside and couldn't wait to suprise the skids.

The other unbelieveable moment was we all went to the movie and BM called DH several times, he didn't answer, the pphone was on silent. We got out of the movie and we both had 20 missed calls on the phones. She also called the police to come over and do a wellness check on us and the skids because she was "concerned" my SD was hysterical because the cops were called and she didn't understand that BM was trying to control our house too. We are not the ones that don't return texts/phonecalls that's her... Lol

ohiknow's picture

Ahhh..... Where should I begin......

How about the time she showed up at the house while I was at work and she literally BEGGED for him to move away with her. When he said "No. I don't love you anymore. In fact I'd love to never speak to you again" she said "I know you don't mean that. I know you still love me"

OR! How about the time she told everyone she was pregnant with his child.

Or How she asked to move to another state with only ONE OF HER KIDS! She said the other one was a mistake and that he could take full custody of him.

Oh I Know Crazy.

KRCMomma's picture

My husband and I have been married for two years, we dated off and on for 8 years before we got married. During one of the off times DH met and got involved with a woman and they had my step-son. The woman was seriously unstable and it just didn't work out and they split when my step-son was three months old. My DH was awarded custody of his son and his ex got one hour supervised visits once a week while they were going to court. Why did DH get custody? Coz she is crazy..

1.She punched herself in the stomach repeatedly while pregnant with DSS

2.Grabbed a knife and threatened to kill herself in front of a group of kids that were over my MIL house for a Halloween party just because DH had to leave and go to work(they were living with them at that time)

3.Threatened to kill herself by jumping off a two foot bridge that was down the road by my MIL and FIL old house.

4.Tried to stab DH with a wire tester because DH told her that DSS didn't need a bouncer seat yet since he was only 3 weeks old and refused to buy it yet, since he had bills that needed to get paid first. This she flipped out over in Wal-mart argued with him the entire time there, on the way home and continued to scream at him once they arrived home. To which she then began pulling items out of the grocery bags and hurl them at DH and hit DSS with a soup can. The cops were called. She bit a cop/bit DH and was admitted to the Psych ward of the hospital for three days.(she was charged with child abuse as a result of hitting DSS, the charges were later dropped to a CPS investigation after she agreed to get a Psych evaluation, CPS founded the charges of Abuse and that's the first one on her record)

5. After they broke up and while DH was at the court house attaining Temporary Emergency custody she broke into MIL and FIL house and stole all 6 cans of DSS formula. She then told DH the ONLY was he would get it back was if he went back to her. He played along and agreed to let her visit DSS with supervision in his parents house with everyone there. After the visit he had her served with the court papers granting him temporary custody and she flipped out. Slapped DH's niece(who was 11 at the time) coz she was holding DSS and wouldn't let her have the baby. She crumpled the paper up and threw them on the ground and started screming and was escorted off the property by the police.

6. At the first custody hearing she refused to sit in the chair with her lawyer but opted to lay on the floor in the court room and wail and cry. She refused to answer any questions and this was when the one hour supervised visits was ordered as well as a restraining order for DSS and DH.

7. From that point on and until the next court date she called and harassed DH relentlessly. Calling/screaming on the phone to anyone who answered. He taped some of these coversations and played them for the lawyer and let me tell you some of them were like talking to a demonic person. During on of the supervised visits she slipped a note into DSS diaper bag that demanded DH being her all of her clothes that were left behind as well as all her other son's(not DH's) clothes. DH told her that if she wanted her clothes and belongings back that she needed to make an appointment for a family member to retrieve them for her because she was not allowed on his parents property.

8.At the last court date she tried telling the judge that DH and his family had lied about everything and that she had done nothing wrong(even tho DH had several witnesses to the incidents that came to court to testify on his behalf and she couldn't get anyone to come for her sake). That everyone was just out to get her and DH was trying to take her son away from her. DH and his lawyer made the custody agreement and she finally agreed after many outbursts and crying/screaming fits. But once it came to signing it she refused and only after she spoke with her lawyer and was threatened for contempt if she kept acting out did she sign it. DH has full physical custody and they share joint legal custody. She gets 48 hours every two weeks and they alternate holidays. Since this order went into effect there has been several problems with her, her house and her attitude toward us.

When she found out I was back with DH and that we had gotten married she was furious because she knew she would no longer have him to fall back on when her life goes to shit. She would always call him cryingsaying she got thrown out of whatever dump she was living in or that her family had thrown her out. DH tried to help her a few times by finding her a place to live or letting her stay with him. Since then she had tried anything and everything to split us up and is determined to cause stress and drama in our life. We took her back to court because of the way DSS was coming back from her house.

He has come home with lice three times so far.

He comes home covered head to toe in bedbug and flea bites.

He came home with a huge bite to his left eye(we called CPS and the charges were "founded" to be true and it was put in her record.

We've been dealing with the BS for going on four years. DH and I are both sick to death of our son having to go through this every two weeks. We FINALLY get him healed from the sores and rashes and he has to go right back. How many indicated(found true) child abuse/neglect does can someone have on their record before something is done. She now has three that we know of and one from her older son. She starts drama by stalking both my Cafe mom and Face book profiles and then goes back to DH cussing him out and telling him that I have no right being around her son, that I have no right saying I love him or that we're a happy little family because I'm not his mother and I never will be. That I mean nothing to him. Hello? His father and I ARE married. I am here everyday raising that little boy, supporting that little boy, nursing him back to health when he comes home from your house all covered in sores. You only have him for 96 hours a month and you can't even handle that. My husband gives me rights(his words) so that I can help his raise DSS and take care of him. Weather you like it or not I am not going anywhere no matter how hard you try. That little boy is the sweetest, most loving little boy who is happy despite your determination to harm him. He loves me and I never forced him to. I've been raising him since he was three months old. He chooses to call me mommy I never made him. I never claim that I had given birth to him, everyone knows I am his step-mother. But you know what? It takes MORE then just giving birth to be a mother. I'm the one here with him everyday, not you and it's no ones fault but your own. Your life is the way it is because of your actions. You can deny the truth all you want and scream to the world that everyone is treating you badly and that it's all lies. We ALL know the truth.

My Question is WHAT has to happen before something is done to protect him? Does she need to break his arm or something? Who gets to figure out the level of severity of abuse?

We have pictures upon picture of all the bites. Stack after stack of paperwork from ER Dr.s and our peditrition diagnosing him with these bites but nothing seems to be good enough. I fear for his health and mental state when he is with that woman and I'm terrified something serious of going to happen to him.. How many children that have been killed by Bio parents would be alive today if the courts had interseeded BEFORE it got to that point?

Justwantsomepeace's picture

It is so hard to just pick one crazy story out of the million or so. My personal favorite doesn't have anything to do with me. BM had borrowed "mooched" about $30k from her mom and step dad. When they wanted her to start paying them back she faked brain cancer so they would feel sorry for her and not pressure her for money. She even went for treatment several times until they finally figured it out. So they finally took her to court and in retaliation she accused her SD of grabbing her butt. Then it turned into he "put his fingers in her". She took him to court to get a RO and sobbed and wailed about this specific incident but completely forgot that she was on the phone with her cousin the entire time. The cousin testified that she heard the whole argument and the SD had told her to "get off her lazy a** and take care of the kids" and had never sexually assaulted her. The judge dismissing the charges and giving her a lecture telling her she had serious problems was priceless! Sometimes those small moments make the rest somewhat bearable.

Love_My_Kids's picture

Oh where do I start?! BM spit in my face while we were picking his daughter up for a visit (totally unprovoked she just didn't want me on her "property")

She has filed two restraining orders against me and her children. She claimed after 4 years that my boyfriend was not her daughter's real dad (false). She has e-mailed my ex-husband telling him lies about my boyfriend and I. She paid $90 to get my divorce documents from the court to get information about me.

It really doesn't end I'm not allowed to be at my house during my boyfriend's visits with his daughter. We are actually broken up right now because of it. Worse thing is we're having a baby together in May Sad

tofurkey's picture

Lets see, there is so much to chose from lol! Well personally, I think that her only knowing DH for a month and getting "accidently" knocked up was pretty crazy....but the one that sticks out in my mind was when she made sure we had court papers waiting for us in the mail when we got back from our honeymoon. nice...

DaizyDuke's picture

BM #1 is a trailer trash skank and came crying to DH (shortly before I met him) that she was being evicted from her trailer and that her BF (that she has 3 more kids with) was beating her. DH fell for the line of crap and let her rent a house that he owns that had just come up vacant. She paid her rent for about 6 months and then just quit paying ANYTHING! DH kept telling her to pay or get out, and I swear to god, one time when he went up there to serve her a pay or quit notice, she was in the living room window screaming that HE better get off HER property or she was calling the cops! WTF? We finally took her to court and got her evicted and then had to clean up the HUGE mess she left. She ended up taking him for about 3,000 on that one between the unpaid rent and all the repairs and clean up we had to do to the house when we finally got her booted. Sidenote: She just got evicted from yet another place last month... she's a real winner

BM#2 is just a down right bitch. Likes everyone to think that her shit dont stink and that she is so wonderful because she belongs to this religious cult thing and she goes to church 3 days per week. funny that someone who goes to church that much still has a mouth like a truckdriver and is the most selfish, greedy bitch you could ever meet. SS used to tell me stories about how she has out of body experiences, she has him totally believing in spirits.. he talks all the time about how he saw this figure in his bedroom or that something touched him in his sleep... whatever.

I just shake my head and ask my DH how he was able to find, not one, but two freak shows to procreate with... young and STUPID is the only thing he can come up with... lucky me!

stepmamma2theMs's picture

My step-kids' BM also thinks she's better than everyone else because she's suddenly super-religious. She's filled the kids' minds with hell so much that SS11 recently told us that he thinks his mom's religion is "kinda scary." It's part of the custody agreement that DH has to be consulted if she sends the kids to any extra religious classes or events, but she went ahead and enrolled SS6 in Sunday school on our weekends, so we have to get him up and ready early on Sundays for him to go to religion classes that his father doesn't believe in. Yet she constantly lies to get her own way and is so greedy she only wants full custody of the kids so she can get more state benefits. I think it's pretty funny that someone who cheated on her husband while she was pregnant with his twins is now claiming the moral high-ground.

cbeckwith's picture

BM took dh to court to get full custody and lost all rights. no visitation rights no nothing! She just was not happy with her $600/month so she took him to court and lost all rights to see her own daughter. Now keep in mind her parents decided to hire her an attorney to fight for full custody after the has not seen daughter in over a year and has been in jail. What made her think that she was going to win? She didnt even have a home?

keepinit2gether's picture

I wish I could say the craziest thing was child support! But in my case its not just the ex..she has an obsessed mother as well! Between the 2 texting callin and emailing not only him but his family and me, it has been battle after battle. From showing up at my wedding and hour early(which a mutual friend was suppose to do) to pick up skids. To court dates to raise the 4000 she already gets between support and alimony. she even has the balls to ask us to get clothes games etc! She went from creepy friendly to over the top stalker! Boyfriend to boyfriend and even has spoke badly about my kids. I will take no more!!! I let it all slide, until her kid said to my 3 yr old my mom says that your daddy doesnt love you so my dad doesnt have a choice! Well skid was punished and dh made sure to elaborate on his choice to love my kids as his own. Whenever she says your kids, he says which ones I have 5!

ddakan's picture

Well, our psychotic BM used the skids key to come into our house while we were in the shower and beats on the bathroom door. We thought it was one of DHs friend playing a prank. We get out of the shower and there is BM standing in our bedroom screaming at the top of her lungs about how could he!!! She was like....this is what you are going to do now that I have to take care of the kids and you just go on with your life???

DH is standing there screaming back...get out of my house....and all the while he's butt naked. I'm in a towel. She goes through the house looking for things she wants to take and she says....i gave this to you, i'm taking it! She was obviously high on something, probably pot.

After 15 minutes I called 911 and the police came and handcuffed her in the living room. DH said, look, i just want her to leave, don't charge here with breaking and entering.

I got so mad I told her if you don't learn to be civil your kids are doomed to hell! She's alll.....she said my kids were going to hell!!! I roll my eyes. wtf ever psycho lady, now go home and take your seroquel and smoke some more dope.

She got soooooooo mad at me and has been trying to get revenge ever since. She's on anti-psychotic meds. Now she just prys into our family on facebook and tells the kids I'm a devil worshipper mean lady.

6 more months until the last little fucker is 18!!!! Gonna have a party, gonna go on vacation, gonna spend that 1200 a month on DH and buy him somethin nice!!! He deserves it for putting up with that CUNT for the last 10 years and frankly, so do I!!!!

nomorelies's picture

Pscho bm tried to have me arrested for kidnapping. Bm was an hour and 1/2 late for visitation and I had shopping to do. SD(15 at the time) called her Grandpa, who came and picked her up for the day, then I went shopping. She freaked when she arrived at the house and no one was home!! She called the police and told them I kidnapped her daughter.

BM also had gas, phone and electric bills put in SD(then 17)'s name, because bms credit was so bad and she owed them all so much money that she couldn't have them turned on in her name.

I'm so glad that I have some place to vent!!

sixteensmom's picture

ok I'll narrow it to Top 5

1. Took SS15 to doctor and called to tell us he had FIFTH DEGREE sunburn on his NOSE because WE didn't make sure he put on sunscreen. He's FIF FUCKIN TEEN YEARS OLD.

2. Told SD21 when she got engaged she was absolutely forbidden to allow DH to bring me to the wedding. HELLO, I PAID FOR IT! SD and SSIL ended up going to Vegas to get married. So DH didn't get to walk his daughter down the aisle. BM called SD the night before they left and told her police were on their way to arrest them (they lived at our house then) because BM was certain SD stole the boxes from her basement with her garter from BM and DH wedding. SD told her she didn't want it because 16smom got her one. HA

3. Threatened me that FBI agents were coming to pick me up for identitiy theft because I called to put her utilities in her own name at her house 3 years after her divorce from DH.

4. CO required each of them to pay $6000 of credit card debt on a joint card. Move it to their own cards or pay off the joint card. She never paid a cent but he paid his $6K. So there's still $6K of her debt on that card. CC Company won't close the card til it's paid off. She WENT to the bank 4 years LATER and reopened a joint equity account, signed SH name. Withdrew $3000. Bought new furniture for SD. SD gave her cash. BM put it on credit. FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY and YOU GUESSED IT - DH was liable for the $3000 bank loan and her $6K credit card debt, AND she wrote off the furniture that SD gave her cash for.

5. Is currently requiring we pay DOG SUPPORT for her to TAKE HER OWN DOG back.

iwishyouwould's picture

When kiddo was about 5 months to 2 years old he lived with a relative of DH's ( there was no court order, Dh and later me would see him about four times a week and bm would see him on holidays and an occasional day maybe every other month or so. One day bm swung by, got him for the afternoon, phoned DH and told him that she just bought kiddo 200 dollars worth of clothes at kmart, wasnt bringing him back, we didnt know where she lived and she thinks that spectacular. Then we found out where she was living, and bm called the police every single time that dh went to try to see kiddo. She asked him for money, food, pull ups and he brought it to her - he had to leave it on her car because she said she would call the police if he came near the door. Bout two months later she sued for CS, failed to tell DH, failed to tell him there was a meeting, had him declared an absent parent, tried to get childsupport from kiddo's birth, was real pissed that dh got a lawyer once he finally figured out exactly how bad she was trying to screw him. She wouldnt let Dh see kiddo for about five months, then she dropped him off on our doorstep, told dh that she couldnt do it anymore, and dissapeared for six months except for the occasional phone call about 'where is my child support money that you owe me?'. Come to find out that when kiddo was with her, he spent from 8am to 5pm in free state run daycare, spent every weekend with bm's parents (who had never met kiddo outside the delivery room) and her boyfriend who she was going to marry and was a much better father than DH could ever be regularly beat her and used drugs in front of kiddo, who was left alone with him on a regular basis. That's the craziest, buts there are definitely others that make the list.

Honestly my craziest Ex moment was right after highschool i dated a guy for about two months, found out he used drugs, dumped him and he stalked me for about six months. He broke into my car a few times and left flowers, music, cards...he came and banged on my door at 1am once, sobbing. he followed me around town for awhile. That was pretty creepy. I guess i can be grateful that bm isnt the stalker type.

sasha101's picture

BM is a nasty, vindictive bitch who has done some horrible things to both DH and her own kids. There was a court case for custody of their 3 kids, which went in dh's favour due to her crazy behaviour. This included taking an overdose in the hope he'd go running back to her, turning up on his doorstep shouting and swearing and asking him for sex in front of the neighbours and her own children, telling her 4 year old to tell me I was a slut who needed to f*** off, shouting obscene things at dh about our sex life while the youngest (aged about 3 at the time) was in her arms, threatening to report him for raping her (he recorded that conversation, thank god), telling other parents at school that he beat her up and abused the kids amongst other vicious lies, trying to set him up so I'd think he was cheating, refusing a divorce so he couldn't marry me (we managed to outsmart her on that one), slashing tyres on his car, constant phone calls/texts which varied between begging him to take her back and being very abusive and threatening. She even told him one day in front of the kids that he was useless in bed cos he had a small d***. She is obsessed with sex in the most crude and vulgar way, and has since had another baby, father unknown, and I really hope the poor kid gets taken away from her cos she's not fit to look after a house plant. She is a complete and utter nutcase who uses the poor me excuse that it's not her fault cos she was abused as a kid. She's very good at making people feel sorry for her and is great at the helpless female act to get people to do things for her - she even got help from the womens refuge claiming dh was abusive when she was the abusive partner. I was also abused as a kid and I have never, ever used it as an excuse to behave like that and it makes me so mad that she can use something like that to hurt her own children and get away with it. She's calmed down now as dh takes none of her crap any more, but she's always there in the background and I'm always wondering when she's going to start again. I don't even know her personally but I hate her for what she's done to dh and her kids.

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

This is actually about my crazy xhubby. I divorced him for running around and has since had so many wives and girlfriends I've lost count. But the first wife he married three weeks after we divorced takes the cake. (Now he married a girl, but not the one I divorced him about.)

I dropped the kids off at his house because it was his visitation weekend and he was supposed to know I was coming. A lady answered the door and looked shocked by me and the kids. She asked who I was and I told her and introducted the kids to her. She burst out crying. She explained that she never knew he had any kids and that my ex had told her that I WAS DEAD! I HAD GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ON THE WAY TO THE MAILBOX ONE DAY AND DIED. I felt so sorry for her. I explained not only am I alive, but honey I live just two houses down from you in the two story house next to the river. I think she lasted two weeks and we never saw her again.

Can you believe that? Ex told told her I was killed by lightning on the way to the mailbox! He just thought that was the funniest thing. I thought it was sick.

wynelle's picture

hmmm what to share what to share from the awesome escapades of my SS's classy BM

- drugged out hoochie who goes on a rampage mon-wed when she is coming down, I'm talking delirious screaming rage phone calls/drive bys
- drives loaded with her son when we attempted to get the police called on her, she said my BF was beating her
- proceeded to sleep around with local police now we are unable to use them for our own good, as one of them went so far as to tell her what we went to them for
- smashed windows in our home
- destroyed the house when she moved her shit out, roughed up walls, roof, stairs anything she could get her hands on
- tells son how much she "wont be friends with him" if he does anything with us (yet is more than willing to have me take him if she is busy)
- posts such lovely things about me & her ex all over the internet
- has convinced her son that his father caused her to lose all the weight because he doesnt pay her.... when really a cocaine diet will do wonders for your figure
- said son will chat up about my poor mom can only afford to eat oranges... when really she chooses to have 2 well paying jobs one at a hospital, pays $0 CS, or bills of her own
- went to both of my as well as my BF's bosses on a drunken drug fueled rant attempting to convince them how awful we are
- fingers us every time we pass on the highway
- will park in our driveway and just lay on the horn until SS comes out
- tried to move SS in with a crackhead dealer
- has physically attacked my BF punching kicking screaming scratching multiple times
- sees her son one day a week, yet attempts to convince the world of what a fantastic mother she is

Shes just a GEM really... I could go on for hours with all the individual stories about the lovely times that we have had. Now that she is getting laid on a regualar basis things seem to have calmed a wee bit, but when this crashes and burns (I predict will happen in a few short months) I cant wait for the explosion that is sure to come after that as I'm sure it will be our fault that she has failed at yet another relationship.

I cant help but laugh at her patheticness.

ddakan's picture

I was dating DH AFTER his divorce and was staying at his house one weekend. BM broke in his house, the house that used to be theirs. We were in master bedroom shower. She beats on the door we thought it was one of his co workers making a joke. DH got out and it was BM standing in the master bedroom yelling at him. I got out of the shower to see what the hell was going on....dh stood there naked arguing with BM to GET OUT OF HIS HOUSE...so since i got out and was in a towel, she went to the kitchen where he continued to tell her to leave...so i get dressed and go in the kitchen, she is screaming, "how dare you bring her into our house! this is mine, that is mine, i'm taking it!!"

so i call 911 and they keep yelling at each other....cops arrive (dh finally puts on a towel), cops handcuff BM and charge her with breaking and entering....and dh says....i don't want her to go to jail, i just want her to leave...so they unhook her and she leaves.

this sets the tone of her trying to get revenge for the next 10 years....talk about BM being an uncooperative bitch from hell, DON'T I KNOW IT!

sickofitall's picture

Well our BM called the cops many times when DH used to pick up SD.She used to say she was afraid for her life. Blum 3 One time she tried rubbing against DH when he was standing at the end of the walkway waiting for SD. He told her to get away and she proceeded to call the cops.My DH is in law enforcement so he knew them anyway but she swore he threatened to kill her and was beating in the door. The cops told DH to wait by his car.The funny part?After all that she handed cupcakes to the cops to give to DH! She said she made them for me,DH and SD and forgot to give them to DH! The cops were cracking up! Afraid for my life but HERES SOME CUPCAKES!

Needless to say we wouldnt eat them. :O

Also BM used to smack herself in the head with her phone out of frustration when she couldnt get her way! Sounded pretty funny on our end!

And finally she tried attacking me when I was 9 months pregnant and she was eight months pregnant. She shoved me and threw something at me but DH got in the middle of us.Must have looked like sumo wrestlers.

I told you shes a f#@cking nut!

Lynnleigh's picture

Craziest thing my husband's ex ever did (and I think this is pretty out there), she sent out Christmas cards with an old family photo from when they were married and signed his name on the cards. This was after they had been divorced over 5 years and we had been married for two years. She still has his photos all over her house, and once she called me and told me that SHE is his number one priority, then his kids, and then me. She's kind of nuts!

cmamma's picture

I am right there with everyone. The craziest thing (there are many) is when she called my DH after I moved in and told him to get "that girl" out of "her" house with "her" dog, and "her" neighbors!! Umm well, first off, she cheated on him with his best friend, left him the house and took everything in the house with her. She even took the bed, he literally had a tv and a sofa. After she said that to him, he obviously stood up for me, and read her the riot act. She proceeded to get so hammered that he had to go pick up the kids, and they had wrecked her beautiful home with toilet paper strewn everywhere while she was puking, her Mom had to take care of her.

Also, since I stay at home with our own baby, we thought it would only make sense for me to help with the kids instead of daycare, she said "over her dead body!" HAH joke's on her, nothing went her way, the greed and jealousy got to her and she took him to court, lost half of what he was giving her, and we (DH) have more time then what she wanted. Now she is so phony sugary sweet to me it makes me sick. Karma.

mags's picture

So my sort of SS broke his arm rough housing on the playground recently (its a long story with many different versions. Of course, BM thinks SS's story is the only true one even though he will lie like a rug to avoid grounding). BM makes him wear a cut off sleeve over the cast all the time because "I've got to deal with that thing for three weeks and I don't want it to get dirty!" She has this poor 7yo so terrified to wash his hands because she tells him that the soap will burn his sensitive skin that he panics and throws a tantrum whenever he is asked to wash his hands (his skin is not that sensitive, not if his "special sunscreen is Avon's sensitive skin formula), and SHE IS WORRIED ABOUT A 7YO BOY GETTING A CAST DIRTY!!!!

Also, she told many people that SS is now helpless since his arm is broken and he can't dress himself, feed himself, or go to the bathroom by himself, yet I watched him do all three things when he was with me and BF. Now that the bones are immobilized the arm doesn't hurt at all! And also, if he is so helpless and she doesn't want me to feel like its my responsibility to feel like I have to babysit ever, then why am I the one home with him while she is a work?

SS has a mild shellfish allergy and she has him convinced that if he touches a crab or eats fish (not shellfish, I have watched the boy eat tuna) he will go into shock and die. She is an ignorant, hypocritical, selfish, opportunistic, manipulative bitch and it is REALLY REALLY REALLY hard for me to listen to some of the stupid ignorant things she says. This makes my head hurt!

pseudo_stepmom's picture

I've been vegetarian for over 17 years and when I met my DH 4 1/2 years ago, he went veggie too. I'm borderline vegan, (I USED to be vegan, but DH can't adhere to the "strictness" of it, so we compromise) i eat very little/occasional cheese, no milk, no eggs (chicken periods!!), no fish, etc... ANYWAY, back to the story, when we first met, my DH took his kids out to grab lunch (without me or DD) at wendy's real quick thru the drive-thru & took a bite of a chicken nugget. Apparently big-mouthed SS11 told BM about this and she decided to take it upon herself to TYPE me a letter explaining that:

"Since he lies so easily to others on a daily basis, what makes you think he does not lie to you?"

Drove 45 minutes from her house so it was not post-marked in the same city as her, mailed it and then repeatedly denied it for about 2 months and then finally agreed it had been her. She was trying to scare me away from her skids & former husband.

She has also sent me numerous messages through myspace and FB until I blocked her, so THEN she started creating multiple fake myspace and FB accounts & tried repeatedly to add me as a friend & continued to send me messages through there. Some anonymous about my DH lying, and some blatantly exposing herself as a stalker.

Nutso!!

cc01's picture

Wow!
Some of these stories are CRAAAZYYY!!!

Well, SD9's bm wrote me emails when she found out I was with my BF. She said "welcome to our little world", and she still thinks they are a family, and I am now a part of it. WTF? lol

She added me as a friend on fb and started stalking all of my posts, and previous posts, then she was putting crazy things as her status that was directed towards me. It was obvious.

She has dated a man who was accused of sexually abusing a little girl, around her daughter's age. About 2 months after the accusations is when she started dating him. She told my bf that their daughter was old enough to tell her if anything would happen, therefore she wasn't worried. I just recently witnessed proof that this guy did in fact abuse the little girl he was accused of abusing!!! SICK!

She's met many men online and has moved them into her house, around her daughter. She's been engaged to 4 different men in the past 4 years.

She tries to put on shows with my in-laws, acting as if they are soooo close. She recently threw a bday party for her daughter, and when my MIL walked in, bm walked up to her and gave her a big hug, and acted like they were besties. After the party was over, we went to my MIL's and she was like "WTF was that, did you see her walk up to me and give me a big hug?" she was all disgusted lol. It's funny how the bm puts up a front, but little does she know my MIL was disgusted in her fake behavior. lmao

And most recently, she won't let us take SD to Disney because she doesn't want me to be there on her first trip to Disney. She says it should just be a "Daddy/Daughter" trip. She insists that. Then she tells my BF to "go ahead" with me and my kids...like she is "giving him permission" to go with us. Get a grip, idiot! HE'S NOT YOURS ANYMORE!!!

She's bipolar! She'll give my BF attitude, then hang up on him. 15 minutes later, she is back on the phone and acting all nice, like nothing happened. Take your meds, you witch.

She's a boatload of crazy. The kicker is, she thinks she owns him because they have a kid together. Golden Uterus Complex!!! Completely!!!

So-tired's picture

I've been flicking through these and am amazed the amount of times the crazy ex calls the police!!! That happens all the time to me too, in fact just at the weekend she was on the phone to them. I was like she must have them on speed dial?! Seriously. She locked SS out the house and then tried to leave, he was in front of the car so she drove into him! When he wouldn't get out the way she started screaming and swearing and threatening to call the police so my DH said go ahead. Course they told her to let my SS in but she said only so he could get his stuff and leave, and take the dog with him!!

He's in the middle of his exams!! But she's always locking him out the house and then she rings up ours saying is he there?!?! Tell him to get back here now. You locked him out you crazy *****!!

She is ALWAYS phoning really late about nothing important at all. When the phone goes in the night you straight away think something bad has happened but no it's just the crazy ex saying 'can you drop off some loo roll when you come round tomorrow, we've run out' (Like she couldn't walk the 5 mins to the shops in the morning anyway!) I'm sure she does it on purpose. I've even disconnected the phone when I've been really tired just to make sure.

Her latest blow-up is because she can't get on the internet as she smashed up SS's laptop in a rage and he won't let her use his PC. She said he had to take all his electrical stuff to our house as it was causing arguments. She can't seem to grasp it was HER that broke the laptop therefore her fault! She threw a phone at him and when he walked out she chased him in the car, yelling and crying out the window with all the street watching. He had blood running down his head!!!

Really there are so many psycho things she's done it's all one hideous blur!!! I must really love my husband to cope with all this! :?

MM1011's picture

Omg I thought I had it bad with my BFs ex lol apparently it could be so much worse. Anyway I admire all the people on here for putting up with some of the stories that are iv read. It really shows the love you have for your husbands/ boyfriends. Way to go ladies!! The bm of my sd's is a very manipulative person she can talk her way out of pretty much anything. Shes been arrested multiple times for unprescribed medications, assault and battery ect and nothing ever comes of it. She has a abusive relationship with her now husband and has even had social services get involved cause they were fighting so bad then they found out that her husband was verbally abusing the kids and takes out a court order saying he cant be around them. We then get called from social services telling us to come get the girls cause their bm is having an all out fight with her own father in front of them and the kids. We get temporary full custody, but after her manipulation and the change of social service workers about three times the last 'male' on the case dismisses it. Tells us that she isnt going to leave her husband and there is nothing they can do about that they made them go to parenting classes then just dismissed the court order and let her have the kids back. I try to just make the best of every situation even tried to be friends with her which didnt work out. When i first moved in with my bf she told the kids that he didnt love them he only loved me. Every time they tell her what a great time they have had over at our house she starts telling them lies and turns them against me so when they come back to our house its like having to start over. If any of you have any advice i would love to have some feedback.

novemberm's picture

My boyfriend's ex gave him a really hard time when they were signing the divorce papers. At the time, 2 of their kids were minors (one was close to turning 18) and the other was an adult. Since BM refuses to work (she and the kids believe the world owes them), she was determined to get "ALL OF HER MONEY" as she would refer to it loudly. After increasing court fees and mediation, the court awarded her with over 350 a week for alimony and support, for 3 years. She had wanted it for much longer. Anyway, my boyfriend would have struggled with that, but we kept saying it wasnt forever.

Unbelievably, less than a month after the papers were signed, BM got married, which caused the alimony to be cut off, reducing the payment by half. IT was like a miracle! We werent supposed to know she got married, but my bf's son wanted to be his usual brat self and texted, bragging about the marriage. LOL!!!!!!! Within the next week, my bf's lawyer had the amended papers signed and filed. BM became enraged and decided that she didnt want my bf sending the money by mail anymore (he always did faithfully), bc she figured she could scam the court by bringing her original judgment to the offices. Seriously???? She must have been floored when they pulled out the amendment and declared that she could not get alimony when she had remarried.

2 months later, BM calls my bf and says she needs $3000 to file for an anulment. She was acting all pitiful and saying the new husband was crazy. We found out from one of her relatives that she was planning on getting the anulment so she could get the alimony "back." Of course my bf laughed at her and said NO WAY, and she called him some rather lovely words and slammed the phone down. She apparently then spent weeks trying to convince lawyers that she should have "ALL OF HER MONEY" back. They laughed at her, I am sure. We still laugh, now. I don't know what planet she came from, and unfortunately the kids are EXACTLY like her. They look like my bf, but that is all-they are all her and it is sad.

blending all 5's picture

Let me just say I think my stepson has the most seriously crazy BM ever! So she is to have her son for the entire summer, {he lives with me:SM & BF} She sees him 4 times during the school year and then well lets say she is to have him the entire summer..However.. So my poor Sson is visitng for 22 days of what is to be a 3 month adventure with his BM and well I get a phone call that he wants to come home. Now he is on the phone clearly asking for another week... And she is in the background saying he wants to come home today! Knowing she can not handle him for longer than a few weeks.. {we have him for a reason} She sends me a text message and tells me she arranged with my husband her ex husband for him to be picked up today.. That this was considered child abandonment and if I did not get to her house to get him now she was going strait to the court house and filling for full custody.. You know I should be in a big rush because she abandon him for 15 months and could not keep him longer than 22 days.. I really was going to be shook up that she was really going to file for full custody. really??? Yes btw my husbands ex wife is also bi polar!! What a beautiful future as the other mother said. Yep her fit was right on schedule Blum 3

blending all 5's picture

Let me just say I think my stepson has the most seriously crazy BM ever! So she is to have her son for the entire summer, {he lives with me:SM & BF} She sees him 4 times during the school year and then well lets say she is to have him the entire summer..However.. So my poor Sson is visitng for 22 days of what is to be a 3 month adventure with his BM and well I get a phone call that he wants to come home. Now he is on the phone clearly asking for another week... And she is in the background saying he wants to come home today! Knowing she can not handle him for longer than a few weeks.. {we have him for a reason} She sends me a text message and tells me she arranged with my husband her ex husband for him to be picked up today.. That this was considered child abandonment and if I did not get to her house to get him now she was going strait to the court house and filling for full custody.. You know I should be in a big rush because she abandon him for 15 months and could not keep him longer than 22 days.. I really was going to be shook up that she was really going to file for full custody. really??? Yes btw my husbands ex wife is also bi polar!! What a beautiful future as the other mother said. Yep her fit was right on schedule Blum 3

my-looney-tune's picture

7 years ago my DH was out of town, they lived in Mass. While he was gone she sold everything in there home, even her step-son's stuff. Not her daughter's though. She sold everything she could and bought a BMW, took every dime out of the bank account, that didn't even have her name on it, that was used for the mortgage. Took Step-son to the baby-sitter and left him there. She took there daughter and moved to Maine. My DH comes home to find a broken into home, no wife, no kids, and an empty house. Rewind 4 years, my DH and her father went out for drinks, he came back home. She flipped out; he grabbed his son and was leaving. As he pulled out of the driveway and was heading down the street, she jumped out of the bushes with a steak knife onto his car and tried to stab his tires. Go forward a year, they were at a gala at his country club and she obviously is mad because as they left she stopped in front of everyone and squatted, pulled up her dress and pissed in front of everyone. My DH was devastated; he never showed his face there again. That’s just to name a few of the major incidents. :jawdrop:

Jenner3's picture

Uhhh wrote me a 10 page long letter illustrating how my hubby is not upfront with me about their relationship. LOL Mind you she has remmarried someone new and has 5 children.

Agged and Fragged's picture

My ex husband tried with everything he had to poison my son against me during his visitations. He would tell our 13 y/o son, in excruciating detail, stories that were either explicit or outright lies. My son would come home from the e/o week visits furious until he got to his Thursday therapy session (therapy that lasted for nearly three years) then the dam would burst, either there or within 24 hours, and my son would generally lose his temper and everything would come pouring out and he would be pleasant until his next visit. This pattern continued until my son stopped seeing his father, with whom he now has no contact.

My ex never once, in all the time after the divorce, took his son for a vacation or even spent any focused father/son time with the kid, the new wife was always there. He basically spent his visits with his son trying to make the kid hate me, badmouth me and DH, and lavish attention on his new wife and her child. My son built up a ferocious resentful hatred for his stepbrother and viciously beat the hell out of him. My ex reacted as though I was speaking a foreign language when I said "no, I will not punish him for what he did while at your house." and "By the way, what did you expect, he's jealous. You treat your stepchild better than you've ever treated him and you never give the kid any time without your stepkid or new wife around."

I tried for sole custody and unfortunately my son was old enough that the judge took his opinion into consideration. He really held hope out for his father, and continued to believe he could change for years. I kept telling my son if he wanted things to change all he had to do was say the word and I'd move heaven and earth to legally cut his father out of his life, but he kept saying "I don't want to give up on him yet." Helluva kid, turned out to be 1000x the man his father is. Served in the Air Force and just recently got his college degree.

He also has major rage issues and is deeply conflicted about his childhood. He'd like to talk to his father just to get some closure but his father is a pathological liar and manipulative, he's just given up. The last time my son was in this state he didn't even go see his father. I don't think he's seen him in nearly seven years.

a_nurse's picture

Wow, I am so thankful to read this forum even if it is hard for everyone. I am dating someone with a crazy ex BM. She calls in drunken rants. I blocked her from my phone because she calls me slut, white trash, etc. She constantly harrasses the BF. She tells a 5 and 7 year old things like 'Daddy left me for her' when really she left and moved in with her boss. But she tells the kids they are friends. She will cycle for a few months; then quiet down. I had to report her to cps because she wouldn't complete treatments for the respiratory infections induced by her constant smoking. The stories I hear from the kids are heartbreaking. The youngest told me he started a fire and 'thank God mom had her miller light. She put the fire out'. And she calls me 'White Trash'. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry. I am commited to this man. But sometimes I want to run.

ExhaustedStepmom's picture

It is nice to hear from other step-moms!

The worst thing BM has done is come to our house, assault us both, and after she was arrested (my sister called the police ha ha) and let out of jail after her mandatory 24 hours, tell SD12 and SD14 that the divorce was all my fault and they would be together if not for me! Now this woman gave my husband a STD! Yes, you read right. She gave him a STD from sleeping with random guys, and then going home and sleeping with her husband. We did start dating before the divorce was final (what a nightmare that was, it dragged out almost a year) so I guess that's all she has to manipulate the kids with. She tells EVERYONE, including the kids, "my husband left me for his personal trainer". No, crazy, I think you giving him chlamydia 6 months before I even met him pretty much was the last nail in the old divorce coffin!

We pay $1000 an month, plus 1/2 medical expenses. Actually we pay for much more than that, as she constantly whines about how she has "no money". She would drop the kids off to get thier hair cut and have my husband pick them up there so he can pay the bill! Well, that stopped after we got married. She won't buy clothes for the kids, won't give them lunch money, etc. It's really hard to see the kids put in the middle so my husband usually caves and gives the kids money.

9 years of child support left, I can't wait! Of course she act sickeningly sweet to me, says she wants all of us to get together "to talk about the kids". My husband told her "not until you apologize to my wife for assaulting her". Needless to say, we don't talk : )

The kids are surprisingly good to me, usual temper tantrums for teenage girls, but they are pretty good for the crappy situation they are in.

It is really hard to keep my mouth shut about her. I just want to scream from the mountain tops all the crap she has pulled, but I don't want to get dragged down to her level. I am hoping the truth comes out eventually. It is very hard on a marriage to deal with all of this stress. I just try to act like she doesn't exist, and make our family life as happy as possible.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Wow. These stories are amazing. This is actually making me feel a bit better about our situation. Nevertheless, the woman is nuts.

I'm 90% positive she tried to break into our house and somehow ripped the doorhandle halfway off.

She wrote all of DH's family telling them he was a compulsive gambler (I have NEVER seen him gamble) and a workaholic and that he was abandoning his children to move to las vegas. REALITY = we have them 70% of the time if not more.

She called DH and told him all the schools were shut down due to a storm and screamed at him when he respectfully disagreed. REALITY = the schools were not shut down

She interrupted SS5's soccer game to ask DH for money and freaked out when he declined.

She sold SS5's bike (bought for him by DH's mom) and told him she needed the money to pay for him and his brother to get into the fair. REALITY = she has flat screen tv's in every room of the house, just replaced ALL her kitchen appliances with frigidair or whatever, and just got her counters replaced with marble. Also, children under 12 get into the fair for free

She routinely sits RIGHT BEHIND US at events for SS5. Last time, she actually sat right beside DH. As if we were one big happy family. Yuck.

She spent 8000 dollars to get DH to give her 500 dollars in CS--which was turned down by the judge. The judge actually asked "why would the petitioner spend 8000 dollars to get 500?"

Ten days after ss2 was born, she took a vacation to Florida and left him with DH

She drives by the house at all hours of the day, even when we lived on a dead end street.

She tries to sit on DH's belongings when we are at events. I have no idea why, but it is incredibly strange and persistent

She's been feeding ss2 pop tarts for almost every meal since we was 9 months old

She harasses DH by text for days on end about nonsense--like making sure to bring a clean towel to school for ss5.

She forbid DH from getting ss2 FREE help for his speech when he turned 18 months and had a one word vocabularly. DH had him evaluated and he was 75 percent behind in three areas of communication.

The woman is crazy.

littlemommy's picture

I could tell you so many stories, I seriously didn't think women like BM actually exsisted tell I met her. For starters she broke up with and walked out my DH 9 days before SD's first Xmas for a new drummer boyfriend with no job. She filed a restraining order and the judge granted it bc she got in there and boo hoo'd about how mean DH was to her (bc he was smart enough not to marry her dumbass basically) and even tho there was not a single police report, pic of a bruise or witness besides her mother, the judge granted it. DH was single for about a yr, then started dating me, then all of a sudden she wanted him back and was constantly calling and dropping by (still with the RO btw), and when she found out I was pregnant and later miscarried she told everyone I had lied about being pregnant bc I was jealous of her.

Orange County Ca's picture

Meth. Cheap, and made in America. Support your local dealer eh? What a story.

Bekkah's picture

Wow... BM has been put into a court ordered, locked psych ward three times so far in 2012. She has been caught shoplifting with the kids in tow 5 times in the last year. She told SD who was having some depression issues, "I wish you would just kill yourself." Add in the basic neglect - having your then 5 year old responsible for preparing all meals for the 3 year old, kids who still don't understand (2 years later) that they are supposed to change their underwear every day, and kids who feel the need to horde food so that they know they will have food tomorrow.

My BF has full custody. She gets up to 6 hours per week of supervised visitation.

Last visit, she started crying and yelling at the kids because "SS and SDs let (me) buy them school clothes" and "How dare (I) buy you bikes?!? You could have come to my house and gotten your *real* bikes.". When the kids said that they prefer their new bikes because their old bikes were too small for them last year (the last time they went to BMs house). This caused BM to break out into hysterics. Visit was ended shortly after her outburst.

Lynn79's picture

Thank god for this site and the shared crazy. I have it bad...but so do many others. My craziest BM moments(of oh so many things she has done is as follows):

1- Crazy bitch BM pursued and then dated MY ex husband to "get back" at DH and I then faked a pregnancy with him. After awhile of dating him....She sent me a text message stating "Wife swapping is the new black."

2- Next crazy thing she did is call my DH's boss and state that DH was going to kill himself because their divorce was going through and she was soooooo worried about his well being cause he wouldnt be able to live without her and the divorce would send him into a downward spiral. (side note.....he had been my boyfriend for a YEAR at this point)

3- Crazy bitch also had sex with DH's FORMER best friend from work.

AND THE KICKER HERE PEOPLE......CRAZY BITCH BM...LEFT DH FOR ANOTHER WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How does she even get dressed in the morning? shes too goddamn crazy!!!! LOL

Rags's picture

Our blended family crazy EX stories are primarily abound my SS-20's SpermIdiot. I became dad to SS when he was 1yo. My wife was 16, nearly 17, when SS was born. The SpermIdiot was 22. My wife went on to graduate HS with her class with honors, a BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is now a CPA.

DickHead went on to a stellar breeding career spawning a total of 4 (So far) out of wedlock children by three different baby mamas. The most regular crazy EX story is that DickHead still will periodically ask my son (SS) if his mom still loves DickHead. My son just laughs when DickHead pulls this toxic crap. This of course just crushes DickHead who's fee fees get hurt by a clear satement introducing him to reality. My wife and I recently celebrated our 18th anniversary and SS is now 20. DickHead is eternally pathetic.

When you add the stories around SpermGrandMa the crazy EX stories get even more volumness and fun. Custody filings in DickHead's name without DickHead's knowledge. Not returning the SKid on time from SpermLand visitation. Filling the Skid's head with toxic crap about how it is not fair that the SpermClan has to pay CS for SS while the three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawn go without the nice things that my SS has, etc, etc, etc, etc.......

stepmamma2theMs's picture

So glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with my hub's crazy ex!

The BM I get the joy of dealing with has frontal lobe epilepsy - basically she has seizures within her brain that cause hallucinations. She at one point was convinced that her daughter was a demon. (And yet she still has primary custody..)

She's displayed honest symptoms of being a sociopath. The only time she does something for her kids is when other people are paying attention and will praise her for it. When left to her own devices she more or less ignores them, but plays up being a mother when she can get some kind of benefit from it. So, for example, when she had a Memorial Day BBQ and it was our weekend with the kids she insisted on picking them up for the day. There were no other kids their age to play with there, but she wouldn't allow them to go inside and play in their rooms. She didn't interact with them all day (in fact, the reason they came back that night instead of cutting the weekend with us short was because she wanted to get drunk that night) and the people there were friends and family members they see all the time. The only reason she insisted the kids go to her party was so everyone would see them there, and so she could tell them all that she picked them up from our house for the event. She's more interested in looking the part of a good mom than acting it.

Shortly after their divorce she tried to file a restraining order against hubs. It was such BS that the judge lectured her on the fact that people like her take up the courts' time and lead to real cases not getting the attention they need.

She treats the kids like they're a burden. When my SD was six or seven years old she was already making dinner for her infant brother so mommy could take a nap (for three or four hours a day). Still if she's late picking them up her kids assume it's because she's asleep. At 12-years old the twins have to go to bed at 9:00 on weekends so BM and her fiance can "enjoy themselves" - meaning have a couple bottles of wine without the kids seeing them get drunk. The older kids do all the housework because she won't lift a finger. But she never actually disciplines them for anything - in the last couple years she's gotten into a pretty strict form of religion so her "discipline" is lecturing the kids on how god is going to judge them (and their father).

But to me the absolute worst is that she is incredibly greedy and uses the kids to get what she wants for herself. She's been offered full-time work but refuses to take more than part-time, then lies to the state about that to get more benefits. To my knowledge she gets food stamps, rent subsidies and help with her utility bills in addition to child support. Her fiance has moved in with them, but claims a different address so they don't have to count his income. She refused hub's offer to take care of their youngest before he was old enough to start school, then lied and said she didn't have anyone to help so she could get free childcare (which was paid to her own parents for watching him!). When it's all said and done she cries about how broke she is but always has a new car, takes at least two vacations a year and spends more money on clothes for her $500 dog than I do for myself!

A few years ago (before I was in the picture) my DS, who was about 9 at the time, was having a lot of problems. Her grades had slipped, she was getting in trouble at school and her BM was constantly complaining that she was misbehaving at home too. The hubs took her, he's always been better with discipline, and within a couple weeks she was doing all her homework correctly and her behavior problems had almost disappeared. Granting him primary custody was brought up and BM was all for not having to "deal with" one of the kids, until she realized that giving one of them up meant she'd lose some of her benefits. All of a sudden she couldn't live without her daughter and came to take her back - all because she wanted the money.

stepmamma2theMs's picture

Forgot to mention...

One of the replies here reminded me of the time the kids came to our house with terrible sunburns. She and her fiance had taken them to the beach for a week, with nothing but SPF8 tanning lotion. Which they put on the kids just once, before taking them to the beach for seven straight hours, without making the boys even bring a shirt with them. She hates spending money on the kids, so they each only had one bottle of water that they had brought with them. The fiance was watching an air show so he refused to cut the day short, even when the 6-year old was complaining that he felt like he was going to be sick (an obvious sign of dehydration and sun poisoning). His older brother (who is a bit of an indoor kid, so early in the summer he had absolutely no base tan to even lessen the shock of that much sun) got a burn so bad it blistered for four days. By the time they got to our house his skin was peeling off in sheets. That's when I found out that his BM hadn't been putting any lotion or anything on the kids' burns, and that her fiance had told him it wasn't too bad and he should just suck it up.

The hubs and I had only been living together for about three months before I realized that I was more concerned about the kids' health than their BM.

gettingreal's picture

BM is alcoholic, drives with kids in car drunk and gets in accident. Ends up in rehab, cheats on husband (now her ex and my BF) in rehab with drug addict. Gets out of rehab and proceeds to give husband's money to her drug addict BF. And those are some of the better things she has done. I can't tell all. Best part, now she spends her days trying to get my BF to go back to her. She blames their breakup on me - even though I didn't even know him until after they separated. And BTW, she gets paid a lot of support money to sit on her ass all day and think up how unfair life has been to her. Can you say crazy b?

Sick and Tired Step-Mom's picture

Both happy and sad that so many others are in the same boat. My DH's ex is also in the certifiable category. She left him for her boss (also married) and attempted to tell the world the my DH beat her (absolute lies). Even got an RO having him removed for his home while she moved out happily that was thrown out and she was reprimanded by the judge for falsifying a report. Flash forward thru 2 years of drama and self created hell by the BM and her boyfriend is now divorced but breaks up with her (for his 2nd girlfriend), fires her and evicts her from her townhouse that he'd been paying for. At ths point I've been with my husband for 3 years and we are a week away from getting married. She's spent the bulk of that time telling everyone my husband is in love with her and is stalking her. The day before our wedding she attempts suicide becsuse she 'just can't handle life anymore' Thankfully husband didn't tell me this has happened until we were on our honeymoon, Her second suicide attempt is the day we return from our honeymoon. She calls to tell DH that he should get the kids from school because she won't be there when they get home-very ominous.. Of course, she didn't actually attempt anything- it was just another attempt at drama. Flash forward 5 years we are still married, and she is the ultimate victim to anyone who will listen, The story has now become my husband left her for me ( I didn't even know him), he is still in love with her (funny no boyfriend for 5 years, readily available and yet he is still married to me) and the kicker, she and the kids have nothing but we have everything due to daddy's cheating. I could type for days all the craziness this woman brought into my life, At the end of the day, I know the truth, but I'd love to expose her for the crazy psycho she is. She deserves an academy award for the victim role she plays so well. MOVE ON- he has. GET A LIFE- stop living in a false reality, It's only hurting your kids, I pray they will see thru this when they are older and not become the self created victims you are teaching them to be.

Sick and Tired Step-Mom's picture

Both happy and sad that so many others are in the same boat. My DH's ex is also in the certifiable category. She left him for her boss (also married) and attempted to tell the world the my DH beat her (absolute lies). Even got an RO having him removed for his home while she moved out happily that was thrown out and she was reprimanded by the judge for falsifying a report. Flash forward thru 2 years of drama and self created hell by the BM and her boyfriend is now divorced but breaks up with her (for his 2nd girlfriend), fires her and evicts her from her townhouse that he'd been paying for. At ths point I've been with my husband for 3 years and we are a week away from getting married. She's spent the bulk of that time telling everyone my husband is in love with her and is stalking her. The day before our wedding she attempts suicide becsuse she 'just can't handle life anymore' Thankfully husband didn't tell me this has happened until we were on our honeymoon, Her second suicide attempt is the day we return from our honeymoon. She calls to tell DH that he should get the kids from school because she won't be there when they get home-very ominous.. Of course, she didn't actually attempt anything- it was just another attempt at drama. Flash forward 5 years we are still married, and she is the ultimate victim to anyone who will listen, The story has now become my husband left her for me ( I didn't even know him), he is still in love with her (funny no boyfriend for 5 years, readily available and yet he is still married to me) and the kicker, she and the kids have nothing but we have everything due to daddy's cheating. I could type for days all the craziness this woman brought into my life, At the end of the day, I know the truth, but I'd love to expose her for the crazy psycho she is. She deserves an academy award for the victim role she plays so well. MOVE ON- he has. GET A LIFE- stop living in a false reality, It's only hurting your kids, I pray they will see thru this when they are older and not become the self created victims you are teaching them to be.

QueenWickedStepmother's picture

Well, Stepkids BM heard a platypus near her backyard, in a pond. I thought she was joking, so I didn't say anything. She was dropping something off at our house for the kids. After she left, I made certain the children were aware that this was impossible. That platypuses were a very common example of an animal that is only found in waters far off from the ponds of PA. That's one thing that comes to mind. Oh, then there is the embezzlement from the cult she works for. She is now wanting to take us back to court to get more child support because she can't live on what she gets from my husband. Yes, you are reading this correctly. She embezzled money (only 11 grand) from a cult, she has to work the money off, and because this will make her work 45-50 hours a week instead of the 35 she used to work, and the 15 or 20 she currently works, she has less spending money. So even though there is no alimony involved here, she wants to go to court and ask for an adjustment. My husband will not lie about the embezzlement. No one else seems to care about it, including the cult, who is just fine with her working it off, I guess. She said she'll tell the court the extra hours she puts in are volunteer. She left my husband for a younger man she met at a party after she had some cosmetic surgery to lose weight. When I first sat down to talk with her about what was holding up the divorce, she stated she didn't want to sign anything that would make her look like a whore. Ok, well, she also stated that I was with my husband before she was with her boyfriend. I said that was impossible. Without her leaving her husband for this boyfriend in the first place, I wouldn't even be in the picture. But she insisted that she met the boyfriend months after she separated from her husband, and that even though it seemed like she was on the phone with him for thousands of minutes those bills must have been wrong for the cell phones.

stina1119L's picture

BM is definitely one fry short of a happy meal here. I try to not let her get to me, but over the years she really has broken me down.... Its been awhile since I've physically laid eyes on her, but I should so I can get my joke of the week and maybe feel better! Shes nuts and she's a bitch and she's evil.... then I see her, and it all makes sense. She has(HAD) red hair, but most of it is grey now. She had roots about 2 inches of grey and this fuzzy red hair and she dyed her roots BRIGHT BLUE! (for her sons HS graduation). I burst out laughing when I saw that! I mean really???? OMG... hysterical. I am sooo glad I am NOT her, clearly her issues extend much further than her animosity towards me and DH. One summer she went to all the kids games dressed in the same outfit. A cheap grey USA tshirt with a lime green knee length jean skirt (circa 1985) plain white ankle socks and plain white Reebok sneakers (old and dirty!) and then a blue bball hat with her kids HS logo on it. She clips her cell on her waist band like a man, she carries a wallet in a back pocket like a man, she wears the worst hot pink lipstick (think wet & wild circa 1989) and gets long fake bright red nails. She's a hot mess 99% of the time. We are so different.

Her craziness is just her need to control my DH through the kids. Shes alienating the kids from their father, she's just evil and the stories, although not dramatically drastic like some others, they are constant, they come up 3-4x a week, for over 5 years now. Her need to control DH is so crazy!

svillemomof4's picture

My poor DH married a psycho the first time. There are so many horrible things that she has done but one of the most recent ones really stands out to me.

It was this past late September or early October. DH gets a text from BM while we are on our way to the beach. It says something about "our bio daughter said this is how she feels about you. how can you live with yourself after denying your flesh and blood your love"..... the text included a pic with some words on it about how this person still loves this person even though they have crushed their heart, or something to that affect. Anyway, DH did not respond.
Fast forward three weeks. DH is working, on his way home from a day trip for work. Lucky him, he is alone. SD21 calls all upset, crying like crazy. He tells her to calm down, can't understand a word she is saying. Finally she calms down enough and starts talking to her father. This is what happened:

The previous night SD21 had informed BM that she really wanted a deeper bond with her father, my DH. She told BM that she and DH had been talking for months and that she and I had even been talking. She told BM that she didn't care if she had to "kiss sara's ass" to have a relationship with her father, she would do what it took.
BM waited until around 2pm the next day to call SD21 and talk to her about what she had supposedly found out from DH. BM proceeds to tell SD21 that she has just gotten off the phone with DH to inform him that SD21 needs his support and his love and could he be a decent father. BM says that DH said he didn't want anything to do with SD21 or SD19, that he never loved them, he wants to just to continue his life like it is, like they never existed, he is finally happy, blah, blah, blah.
What makes this so screwed up, other than the obvious, is that these girls were raised by DH. BM could not be bothered to fight for custody, to get them on her weekends, all she did was pay child support. No involvement at all. I was more a mother to them in a few years than she all their lives!

So, SD21 is understanably upset and is asking DH if he said that. He said no, he did not, he had not even gotten a text message from BM in a couple months. He told her to meet him at home. DH calls me and tells me what happened. I am livid.
SD21, DH, and I are at home. I tell her I love her and there will be no kissing of ass in this house. She says she doesn't know what to think anymore. See, the kid really wants to think her mother loves her, that is all either has wanted all their lives, but she knows her BM is just crazy.
I bring up DH's phone records online. I show SD21 the date of the last text message/phone call from BM. Text was over three weeks from BM but no response from DH. Last phone call was from BM lasting 22 sec over a month prior. SD21 calls her sister, SD19, and tells her everything. SD19 had gotten the same call from her BM that afternoon. Both were upset but both finally saw the truth.

Fast forward to four weeks ago. SD19 is pregnant. My SD's and I have a great relationship and are excited about the baby. BM told SD that I was not to be at the hospital. SD19 told BM that that is her day, not BM. If BM does anything to cause any stress on her when she is at the hosipital then she will be kicked out. SD19 told BM I am going to be there and involved and she can either get on board or not be involved. He he, came back to bite BM in the ass Smile

lovelylife123's picture

In my situation, BM told the SD10 that I was a stripper and I slept with daddy while they were together, that I hate their dog, I'm jobless and hes my sugar-daddy:), Called the bed and breakfast we were staying at one weekend and said she was his wife, was in his email monitoring him,lied and said the family dog was dying when she heard my loving German shepherd moved in,called at 5 am while her child was over our house said she had a fibroid cyst that burst, (Not sure what we could of done to help that), and on and on...

The reality.. I'm a licensed nurse with a job, not a stripper, they were never married, he was single when I met him and I love the dog and the dying dog is still alive:) lol

They do come up with whatever they can, it is simply insecurities and for some a mix of mental instability.

Normal confident and secure women do not act in this way...Be thankful for your sanity:)

kimbysue's picture

Oh man, I've got a bunch of these...all of them revolve around court because that is the BM's hobby.

BM took us to small-claims court because she said WE put a nail on the freeway so she would get a flat tire, forget to call her work saying she wouldn't make it, and get fired. It was a conspiracy on our part. riiiight (Although, if we had such powers I would seriously consider using them).

She tried to get a restraining order against my husband because once, 10 years earlier, he had wadded up a piece of paper and thrown it at her.

She sued us for slander because her children want nothing to do with her (literally, all she put on the paperwork was "my daughter won't talk to me"). While this might have been more interesting, it ended up getting dismissed because she got caught having her friend pretend to be an attorney. When we told the court that the BAR association # listed on the court paperwork belonged to a deceased, male attorney, they quickly vacated the courtroom.

I'm sure there is more (she takes us to court at least once a year), but they all are just more of the same.

Plan4ward's picture

I am new to thsi site and I am looking forward to having someone to reach out to. I have been a SM for over 12 years and BM is a narcissist. She has taken us to court five times and always for more money. We have sept over $70,000 in legal fees. I have my own company and my husband does the same type of work as I do. He joined my company and now works for me and I pay him the same wage he earned at his government job. This past week BM filed in the courts again to gain access to all the funds in my company and have thsoe added to

darkangel00's picture

I had the same issues with my fiancés ex wife. They were separated for 4 years and we had dated a year before getting engaged as soon as she found out that we planned to be married as soon as the divorce final she flipped out.

First she said that I abused her teenage daughter because I disciplined her and had open handedly smacked her mouth when she called me c**t to my face. No charges were filed due to absolutely no mark at all not even red when she showed up to pick up kids. Then she claimed to child services that I punched the child and she had knot on her head and that I called her daughter a c word. When she learned that child services would not file charges without a mark either she then denied visitation with father till her payday when she called him to come get the kids cuz she had a date and he was to pick them up at 8pm sharp when he wasn't off work till 9 so she flipped out on him again telling the kids that he didn't want to see them.

That very night they spent the night and same daughter went through my entire bedroom stealing cash and my engagement ring that usually left on nightstand in box when not wearing at night. Since both my son age 11 and her son age 5 both share a room here with bunk beds she then called child services again cuz her son age 5 is used to sleeping with both sister and her other son from another marriage in the same bed and prefers to sleep with my son here. I don't like it but I don't mind they are both boys and sleep in pajamas. so since she knew this was a common practice when they sleep over she then filed with child services saying that my son age 11 was molesting her son age 5.

She has then since proceeded to threaten my fiancé with deportation cuz he is from another country. When she realized that I am also from a different country and I could move with him and still marry she started making threats to me saying she is gonna make sure we are both kicked out of the country and that fiancé will never see his kids again. She then filed a restraining order against me and my son saying she fears for their safety in my home.

Child services is now looking into her for harassment and the fact that she has no food in the home is not awake when the kids are home and miss school constantly cuz she don't wake them up for the bus and she has 3 kids. boy age 15 boy age 5 and girl age 9 that all share same bed and room in her apartment.
Never had I ever thought someone could stoop so low just to look good in a divorce. But alas this lady is a winner.

mimi38's picture

Whoa dude and I thought I was dealing with crazy!!!! Makes me feel so much better that I'm not the only one having t deal with it...whew!
I got one for ya....It's the day before Thanksgiving 2012, Scene just clears fireman leave we lost all of our belongings, one truck and 2 family pets in a house fire, home is a total loss. Ex calls DH on my phone because his was in the house and threatens to take him to court for full custody of SS if he doesn't buy SS new phone so he can call her....REALLY???? #1 SS hates talking to her cause she's crazy and that's not just my opinion she calls freaks out screaming at him cause he doesn't want to see her and hangs up, then calls back 10 min. later crying cause she loves and misses him! #2 SS phone was in the dry box in our sons' boat that was in the water tied to the dock...hmmmm can we say crazy???
Then fast forward to May this year, we are in a rental waiting to close on our new home when ex calls DH's lawyer telling him that the lawyer needed to write DH a warning letter to abide by the CO that SS is to spend a week in the summer with her, and tells DH's lawyer that it doesn't matter that she IS NOT paying CS DH still has to abide by the CO....she called DH'S lawyer freely admitted to not paying CS can we say crazy??
She walked out on DH and SS to move in with younger guy from work that was living in his parents basement, left a really cute house on the water had a brand new SUV, DH owns his own business, narcissistic??..... maybe, just maybe.

adafrank's picture

My girlfriends ex decided to vandalize her family home, threaten her, neglect his child support and stole items she packed for her child for visits. This bullying went on until I became involved in their life and he decided to threaten my life. I calmly recollected to him that I was not afraid of him due to his prison rap sheet and infact I had looked into his past and all his charges were Uttering threats and sexual assaults against minors. I proceeded to fill him in that as long as he wanted to act like a threat, that I will make the people around him believe he is a threat as well.

He has since been arrested 3 times for violating the restraining order and everytime he is locked up and released I wait for him in the bail office. He knows who I am and I've made it abundantly clear unless he is going to work and support his daughter and be a respectable member of society I will make sure he is a level above homeless.

He has gone on to date women just above the age of consent and divide them from their families, crush their self esteem and use them for free money and living spaces. His previous 2 girlfriends have left him and filed restraining orders and written affidavits of his abuse for our family court. He has tried filing restraining orders on me for documenting him with a camera and his online activities, all the while ADMITTING to violating the restraining order and his sex offender status.He showed up in court complaining I stalked his FB and Instagram(entirely true) and notified people of his child molesting past.

He has 3 other children he never sees or pays for and goes after my stepdaughter to waste court time and to delay her divorce.I found his employer and after a few months realized he wouldnt ever pay for his child and it was all lip service.Needless to say he doesnt work again. I figure if he is going to lie and obtain work the least he could do is pay for his daughter.Now he has no money so I guess he can justify it.

My ex-gf now has to deal with this useless biological being granted supervised access which he pays for. He has the money to see his kid(well he is actually too cheap to see her but has the option) but not to pay for her existence.

Recently he met a new girl and moved in with her 2 young children only to be found violating his probation order and CPS stepped in. CPS removed her children as she didnt see the problem with a child rapist she had known for a few weeks living in her home. Her kids are in the father's care and CPS has blocked visitations until a PO will clear him to be around kids.

Sadly this story doesnt end well. My gf and I split due to the fighting during the divorce and family court. She couldnt deal or cope with it mentally and it pissed me off to watch her sit back and take the abuse.

It has been 30 days since they walked out my front door and my little girl told me she loved me.

wednesdayhaley's picture

I have a good one.

Since DH and I got together about 3 years ago BM went completely batshit. She always used the kids to control DH but when I came into the picture it went into overdrive...Especially when we started living together. The insanity went up a few notches after we got engaged, then married. She REALLY lost it when we decided to have a baby of our own and I got pregnant.

She would call him in the middle of the night telling him to come over because one of the kids is sick (with a cold) or make up stories about having cancer or other terminal illnesses. She would cause drama over any little thing she could think of and threaten to take the kids away and not let DH see them if he disobeyed her. She once tried to make a rule that the kids could see him but not be around ME even though the kids love me and I love them. They have never been a problem.

I had DH sit down with an attorney to discuss his rights as a father and let BM know the consequences of her actions the next time she tried to pull one of these stunts.

Once BM was being ignored because DH no longer took her seriously, she went out and got herself pregnant WHILE I WAS PREGNANT by some random.

Keep in mind she only had her first child in the confines of a relationship (not married). She got pregnant with SK#2 after DH had left her-I guess it was a one time drunk and stupid thing. Once she realized she no longer had a hold on DH and couldn't control him she ran out and got pregnant again. No one knows who the father is. We have mutual friends with her and no one knows. Whoever he is I feel sorry for him. He's in for a ride!

Smokey_Bear's picture

Oh crazy stories eh? *cracks knuckles*

BM1 has, through the years, survived approximately all the cancers. Most notably, brain cancer. The others being colon, cervical, and ovarian. She survived them all though, but now she's going through breast cancer and chemo. And recently discovered, is pregnant. About 5 months, apparently.

New 'turns for the worst' always came when SD16 called mom to talk about stresses that he had.

I realize now, I failed to mention two things. One-SD16 is defining himself as Trans, so I use male pronouns. Perhaps I should say STD16? StepTransDaughter? =\ Two-STD16 lives with us full time. BM1 does not have custody, as He won custody after BM1 made STD16 lose almost a full year of school. Told school STD was being home schooled, told Him that he was going to school. STD is not aware of this. I don't know the reasoning as to why, but I know He doesn't want to tell him now, because STD will just feel that it's an attack against his mom. He's very protective of BM1.

Okay, continuing. BM1's new ailments, or new discoveries that she's closer to dying/needs a masectomy/doesn't need a masectomy now cause it's too deep/might not see christmas (this past christmas that was...)/might not see summer/is being sent on a trip by the doctors because she's so terminal....they all are told to STD when he calls to tell BM1 troubles in his life. BM1 seems to need to have the attention on her. Let's not even delve into the deep caverns of the fact that all BM1's specialist appointments occur on Sundays, whenever STD went to visit mom in CancerCare, mom would meet him downstairs in the coffee shop, or across the street, and the doctors wouldn't let STD into mom's room. Or sometimes it was 'I can't see you this weekend, the Doctors say I'm to have no visitors right now' or some other slew of bullshit.

Recently, STD had his bf (also transman) come up from out of country to meet for the first time. BM1 said she had a hotel booked for them, that she would be staying with them to ensure supervision at all times, that it was paid and booked and good to go. Plane arrives and He and I with STD go to pick bf up, and lo and behold, the hotel room has been double booked for the night (but would be guaranteed for the rest of the week), so could the bf please stay with us. (Even though we had very clearly stated we were not comfortable with a complete stranger staying in the house.) We said yes, for the one night, but that was all, and that bf was to sleep in one of the SS's beds (as it was their week with BM2). Fairly certain STD didn't follow that rule as the bed was unslept in. The next day, oh no, the hotel guests that had been over booked in their room didn't check out in time, so somehow this meant that they weren't accepting their reservation at all. They would need the original credit card holder to show and pay (again, with no reimbursement) for another room if they wished to have one. Conveniently, it was BM1's mom who was paying for the room originally, and they couldn't get ahold of her for the card or her to come in to help, so they lost the room for the week.

They tried pushing us to stay with us, but as the Boys were coming that day for their week with us, it was a solid no. So they went to BM1's bf's place, and that led to issues from there. Boredom, couldn't get in to the city because of too much snow, oh no mom fell and her stitches ripped and she can't get out of bed because she might bleed out...

Again, please understand, if it's not clear, that we just don't believe this woman is sick. If nothing else, how many people do you know of that have survived, perfectly fine, brain cancer? Let alone three others, and now battling a third, with chemo treatments, specialists on sundays (when specialists in this city don't work sundays), a full head of hair, and a nice full and plump figure. I just don't buy it.

Unfortunately, STD does. And it's killing him. He's got so much stress going on with psych appointments, doctor appointments, meetings to get the transition on it's way, missing school for these appointments, mom guilting him into missing school 'oh, I guess school is more important than your dying mom, that's fine' and now mom 'dying'.

STD has severe anxiety, depression, and I'm not really sure what else. Perhaps it's just a more severe anxiety than I'm used to seeing. Not perhaps, it is, I just don't know if there's more potentially behind it. He has said that he has had suicidal thoughts. He's said he doesn't want to outlive his mom, that when she goes, he will be shortly behind, but that he can't because it's not what mom would want, but how can he go through a transition when his mom isn't there to see it. (We won't touch on the obvious concern there of how serious he is about the transition if he's questioning doing it if 'mom isn't around to see it')

Now, He and I joined STD in a counselling apt this week, and he let things out to the therapist that We didn't know. At his mom's, about a month ago, he tried sudo-suicide. He turned the shower on, laid on the floor, and choked himself until he passed out. I say sudo, because he even said he knows he can't kill himself that way. The body won't let us, but he just wanted to feel something. This is around the time that he was panicking about how the bf's visit would go, if they would get along in person, he was waiting to find out if the Clinic would accept him to begin the process of the Transition and didn't like the idea of his future being determined by others because if he wasn't approved for the transition, he didn't know what he would do. Plus stresses of school and friends trying to commit suicide and calling him in the process, a "friend" outing him as trans to the whole school. Thankfully the school and the kids around him, took it smoothly. "If they hadn't, I wouldn't be here right now."

Also STD talked about how he's happy he's getting a baby sister now. That even if his mom isn't going to be around, he's going to have a piece of her. But then would he ever see the new sibling (cause his custody is with Us, and baby would be....who knows--if mom does happen to die this claimed time.)

My Significant Other (SO) and I are concerned that when this baby doesn't happen, because sure as shit something is going to fail the pregnancy/miscarry/something, how it will affect STD. It will pull the floor out from under him and could just be a tipping point, if something else doesn't tip him before.

Oh I remember where I was going before with the story of the bf coming in from out of country. After the bf left, STD made a comment to BM1's fiance that he wasn't surprised that mom let him down again. ((His 16th birthday almost a year ago now, mom promised a hotel president's suite was booked for him and a few friends to party the night, and that fell through literally an hour before the 'check in' time.)) Fiance then told BM1 the STD's comment, and it apparently sparked a huge fight between BM1 and her fiance. Suddenly BM is pregnant.

BM1 has a history, from what I understand, of many men, and as soon as men start catching on to her insanity and bullshit, she pulls some big lie, or flat out leaves them. I have heard this from not only my SO, but a number of his friends who were around when they were together and married.

Steph0820's picture

The list!
1. Has told the kids she has cancer 3 different times
2. Called us to see if we would pay $500 to bail her out of jail for check fraud
3. Threw a bunch if trash in my front yard
4. Picked up the kids & yelled "BITCH" at me (I don't even speak to her)
5. Asked if we could call the court & let them know we don't want any more child support from her. She owes $52 a week for 2 kids & is behind $3000
6. Paid $10 of child support 1 month & ask for a receipt of what we used it on
7. Has been engaged 7 times in 5 years & tries to make the kids call each one of them Dad
8. Left the kids to move to Florida with man & told them their sister (her kid not DH's) was with her when actually BM put sister in foster care. BM called & had some random girl acting like it was sister.
9. Yelled out in the custody hearing "IM NOT BIPOLAR IM MANIC DEPRESSANT & HAVE BOARDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!"
10. Tells us all the time "KRAMAS A BITCH!" We don't tell her we have no idea what "Krama" is
11. Came by the house & gave SS13 $5 & told him happy birthday! Last week (mid April) his birthday is in June.
12. The 1st year I was with my DH, BM had a bday party for SS. I was at home & got a knock at the door. It was about 10 kids & parents asking if SS was here because he never showed for his party.
13. Got a pounding on my door by 4 police asking to prove my identity because they thought I was her. Apperantly she "rented" a car, kept it for a month & she put our address down.
That's just what is on the top of my head Wink

txmomof2's picture

My DH's BM is a real piece of work. She started out by messaging me on FB telling me what a great lover my DH is! :jawdrop: (which he is, but that's beside the point!) He made it clear to her that he only wanted her to contact me if there was an issue with my SS. For a while, that worked.

Then a couple of months before my wedding in November she started asking about the details of the wedding. Where would it be? What colors? She did all of this under the ruse of just being curious. That all changed, however, when she realized she would not be getting an invitation.

My husband and I talked it over, and agreed that we didn't want her, or my daughter's father, at our wedding. I felt that this was perfectly reasonable - why would we invite our exes? She didn't think it was reasonable, however. She started pointedly calling or asking my ex in person if she was going to the wedding. Finally, the week before, he told her that absolutely not, she was not going.

The day of the wedding, my DH went to pick up his son, who was our ring bearer. The whole time he was there (because of course my SS was not ready and his bag was not packed), she berated him, telling him to just keep his son all weekend, acting crazy and irrational. He ignored it, choosing to focus on the big day. Turns out, she had hidden some of his wedding clothes (I had told my husband it wasn't a good idea to send them home with him). My bridesmaids had to run out and get my SS a new shirt and shoes so he could be in the wedding.

Fast forward to after the wedding. She did not come, we had a lovely ceremony and reception, and afterwards, my sister and brother in law drove us to drop off my SS before heading back to the honeymoon hotel. We got to the house, my DH goes in with his son, and we waited. And waited.

20 minutes later, my DH comes out of the house WITH HIS SON. Turns out, his ex was so upset about not being invited to the wedding (which is SO WEIRD - who invites their ex to their wedding?!), that she threw a huge fit IN FRONT OF THEIR SON, screaming at my husband, saying she wasn't taking her son back, and even threatening to come outside and confront me (for what, I don't know). At that point, my DH decided that it was in the best interests of his son to not be in the house that night. He came out with his son, and I flipped out, naturally, because that was our wedding night. Luckily for us, my sister and brother in law agreed to keep our SS, who was shaken and upset at everything that his mom had done. He had a great time playing video games and eating ice cream with his new uncle and aunt, and we still got our wedding night. SO despite her best efforts to ruin our wedding and wedding night, she failed.

The next night when we handed off my SS to her, she acted as though nothing had happened. Now, she tries to act friendly with me at the kids events. I ignore her. She is sneaky with her little manipulations - she will not tell my husband about certain events that she is legally obligated to tell him about, then complain to her family and friends that he is never there for his son. We found out that he was in scouts one weekend when he was with us. He had already been in for several months, and she had no intention of telling us. We ask her every time we pick up my SS if there are any school or extracurricular events coming up that we should know about, and every time she says no, then my husband hears about it on facebook or from a family member. It's a never ending battle.

txmomof2's picture

oh, and I forgot to add, every time she drops off/picks up my SS, she finds a reason to enter my home. Sometimes, she says she has to pee. Sometimes, she comes in to talk to my DH about a medical issue for SS or a school assignment. Sometimes, she will pick him up and then ask him if he has a certain article of clothing with him (many of which we've had for a long time). If he doesn't, she will park and insist on not leaving until he has it, many times coming inside to "help him look." While inside, she will demand to take a certain toy, or ask for school pictures she claims to not have gotten, anything to have an excuse to be in the house longer. Many times, I've heard her criticize my home (her own home is disgusting). I've asked DH to no longer let her in my home, to get whatever item she says she needs BEFORE she comes by so she has no excuse to come in, but she still wrangles her way in. It's beyond frustrating.

Finally, my SS is 7, and still wets the bed at night. This horrified me when I first learned of it. I found out because my SS would go and throw wet clothes in front of our washer, and not say anything (and then if I didn't know, sleep on dirty sheets!! Ewww!) I talked to DH about it, and he said BM wet the bed until she was a teen and now SS has picked up this problem. We talked to SS, expressed to him that he MUST tell us if he wets the bed so we can clean it up, and finally set up a system where we wake him up every couple of hours to go to the bathroom. He hasn't wet the bed since in our home. His mother, however, sleeps in the same room with him and can't be bothered to get up and take him to the bathroom. She apparently has no problem with him sleeping in filth all night. It's just apalling to me!

MamaFox's picture

My answers if the BM ever comes to my house and asks to come in..

"I have to use the restroom"BM

"There's a few trees outside"ME

"SS left *something* In the house, I need it"BM

"Fuck off"

"I need to see my husband/loveofmylife/fatherofmykids/PapaFox"

"You're divorced and remarried, fuck off"

Those should be your answers too.

StepLady's picture

Where to start? I got anonymous letters to my home from a fake baby mama that BM2 made up! She also sent him fake letters from this mystery girl at my home! She did not stop there though.....she found out where I worked and sent letters to my boss pretending to be a customer I had done something wrong to. She sent a letter to my landlord saying I sold drugs out of the house, when he showed it to him I showed him the stack of letters I had and he laughed. She sent a letter to my mom saying I was on drugs and contacted my ex husband pretending to be someone else. She told me he was on drugs and that I would have to have sex with his dealers or they would kill him. She called and sent emails til she was ordered to stop by the police. She told me at court that I was stupid bitch and she was going to kick my ass, that did not make her look any better in front of my attorney and the GAL. She called my daughter's school and claimed to be a parent from the school, stating I give drugs to kids at my house at kid's parties. She messaged my ex again and his gf at the time. She messaged my ex mother in law trying to dig up dirt on me. There is none! I dont break laws or do crimes. She has called child abuse hotlines on me three times. She has told her kids to be cruel to my daughter and to tell me I will never be any kind of mother to them and to never listen to me. She has told the kids if DH and fight or yell to call 911 and keep hanging up til the cops show up to throw us all in jail. She has accused me of feeding her kids foods they do not like on purpose. She saved her kids clothes they wore to our home and brought them to court for the staff to sniff stating "It smells like grease smell it!" No one did and they all thought she was nuts to bitch about fried food in my house when I am thin and she is hugely overweight! She forced DH to visit kids at a safe space after accusing him of abusing her! He was not arrested nor charged by the way! And then wrote notes to the staff there that were offensive and outrageous to the point they submitted them to the courts! She has never let us have any extra time with kids but continues to bug us all the damn time about getting kids back early or not sending them at all so they can go to play with classmates. She is a crazy crazy bitch! The craziest bitch I have ever ever met!

StepLady's picture

She has also sat in her horrible wrecked out old ass car in our gated community calling me a fucking bitch and a whore while her kids were in the car at pick up time! I recorded it all and she knew I did and still could not control herself. She asked me where her son was once and when I told her he was in the bathroom said "shut the fuck up whore no one even asked you!" in front of my sd and my dd. She tored up court papers and threw them all over the parking lot in front of us when they did not say what she wanted them to. She has told sd and ss to never ever wave goodbye to me or say hello to me infront of her. Saw her and kids in public waved to kids, she flipped me off and told DH they were all terrified of me and had to run into the nearest store to hide from me......wtf? She is a stupid crazy ugly old lady!

The_Atheist's picture

BM was a gambler, stole my SO's mother's credit card and checks along with money from her employer. She went to jail on numerous theft and embezzlement counts, gave birth to their child WHILE IN PRISON!

He didn't want anything to do with her anymore, but she kept begging. His mother died and having four children without help now meant he needed her to watch the kids while he worked. So after splitting for a year, he takes her back. Within a few months she is busted for soliciting while on probation. She was trying to sell herself outside the casino to get gambling money!

This woman has done SO much nasty shit I could write you all a novel. And just like the rest of you, this bitch still begs him though they split for well over a decade ago! She still tries to hang on him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, he will push her away and she STILL comes back for more... 100% loony!

Blendedsven's picture

My sd and ss love to share the stories. There's a ton of them but the bm tends to frequently date different men. Not any of our business but the kids tend to rat out her lies. She's now currently dating a man has for almost a yr and she's told the kids not to mention her other boyfriends in front of the current bf. My husband and I just shake our heads at the lies she spills onto the kids. It's scary to think how the kids will learn from the bm that lying is k if it works to her favor.

TLW's picture

Ok, having read some of these, our psycho birth mother probably only gets a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. She's just controlling, manipulative, difficult, narcissistic, deranged, and a devotee of the how-to-do-PAS manual. BUT - at least she has some awareness that her social position (the poor, suffering, hard-done-by devoted wife and mother, who has been left by a man, and who everyone should feel sorry for) demands that publicly, at least, she needs to look like a 'good mother' - albeit, of course, a very long-suffering one, who has to make incredible sacrifices 'for the sake of the children'. So although she drip feeds poison into their ears the whole time about their Dad, at least she doesn't actually stop him seeing them.

And PAS doesn't really work, so long as the kids get to spend enough time with the other parent. They may grow up confused, on drugs, unable to form good relationships, in therapy for years - but hey, why would she care? Another thing to blame their Dad for! Another 'it's-all-about-me' drama to enliven her coffee mornings!

She sure has done some crazy things over the years though, but nothing that looks toooooo bad - it is just very constant, and subtle. Like sending the step kids to the airport without a passport, so they miss their flight with Dad. Oh - she forgot! Like claiming they had infectious, notifiable diseases to try and stop them coming over, without really thinking what it must feel like to them when they come over, and we say, 'so, you don't look like you've got chicken pox.' Like claiming to the kids she's poverty stricken, because Dad doesn't give them any money (yeah, right) and then taking them out with her to help her choose jewellery for herself. Like telling them unbelievable lies about what they missed out on with her by spending time with their Dad. Like buying them something better every time they get a gift from me. I did once fill multiple pages of A4 paper with a list of her crazy behaviour, and it hasn't stopped, 8 years later. Drip, drip, drip.... It's exhausting.

bibleofdreams's picture

the most recent thing was calling 911 because her car broke down. 4 blocks away from the school she was droping SD off to. Instead of exiting the vehicle and walking her there she called 911 and then us (biodad and myself) to drive half an hour to take SD to school. God damn she is dumb.

bibleofdreams's picture

she bought an old stove, gave it a name, remodeled her kitchen and did not use the stove that she named. She has had it for like 4 years and it just stays in the living room. wtf is that?

Rags's picture

My XW proposed that since I owned a business in the city we lived in together that when I was in town for business we could date and sleep together.

My response was that I had been married to her what gave her the impression I was interested in dating or sleeping with her.

19 years after our divorce she and her entire family (My IL's) were sued for return of assets my MIL had embezzled from her long term employer. XMIL ended up in federal prison as a felon and my XW got saddled with 1/4 of the $multi-million civil suit settlement. She will be paying that off for several decades. }:)

Gotta love Karma.

misSTEP's picture

Geez, I have too many to share but the first one, where I realized that my BF (now DH) was actually telling the TRUTH when he said that his baby mama was crazy:

She had decided to "let" DH visit the skids EOWe but we had to do all the transportation. There was a couple of times where she was fine and then one time, the skids were already in the car with me, DH and my DS. All of a sudden, here comes BM lumbering out on her front lawn screaming her head off! We all just sat there with our mouths hanging open, totally shocked. I have no idea what set her off but the poor skids didn't say a WORD for about an hour.

That's what finally tipped the scales and made DH take her to court to get his visitation rights and have pickups/exchanges done at a third party neutral exchange. Well, that and the fact that she decided to take the skids out of state for a MONTH LONG vacation in the middle of the school year without notifying their father...

blondielocks's picture

DH's ex ...
Impersonated one of her sons on FB and tried to get his gf to agree that BM is a terrible person and everyone hates her, apparently trying to prove her own paranoia.

Insists that her other son, who is very smart and capable, shouldn't be pushed to turn in his homework because he has some sort of disability (that he doesn't really have) and pushing him will make it more difficult for him to turn it in.

When SSthen13 snuck a cell phone from BM's house into DH's house, DH took it from him, contacted BM and said that he could return it to her at 7:30 at a neutral location. She refused and said she would come to his house at 7. He said no. She called the cops.

Told DH that she had to sell all of the boys' clothes that she had at her house because he made her pay child support. In reality, just boxed them up and hid them from the kids and told them she sold them to pay greedy DH.

These are the easiest to type out and they've happened since last summer.

Oh and she may or may not have told the older son to poison his father.

Sigh.