sickNtiredofbeingsickNtired's picture

Grown Stepkids

Let me begin by saying originally I move in with my fiance, believing that it would be me, him, and my 2 children (at the time 8 & 5). But not a week passed before his 29 year old son moved in with us. So my kids bunk together. This is temporary says my fiance. It has been 2 years since. His son still lives with us. According to my fiance his son is bipolar. According to his son he is lazy. The "boy " does not work, does not go to school, does not clean house, eats all our food. I've lost it a few times now. I have told my fiance how I feel. I told him I don't want him out, just want him to get a job. He eats all our food, extremely overweight, stinks. We can smell his bedroom in the livingroom. When he walks by one can almost taste it. My fiance and I r suppose to get married in five months. I'm having second thoughts. His daughter is disrespectful to me and my family. My fiance let's them do it. Pays their bills, gets them out of every bind. I feel selfish. Like a bitch. My fiance is willing to help raise my kids, but I can't stand his. My kids love him and r starting to call him dad, and he likes it. He is also 16 years older than me, not that it matters. We love eachother, bit things aren't great at the house. I told his son he's lazy and he needs to get a job.

omgsaveme's picture

Why are you looking for

Why are you looking for another place ? I would tell him and his fat ass son that they need to leave and they have one week. Leaving sometimes helps them see, that we aren't putting up with this shit. Ugh, why cant parents be parents, which is the uncomfortable stuff.

Shannon61's picture

Emotionally beat up is right.

Emotionally beat up is right. My DH did everything in his power to refuse to see SD for who she really was . . until he didn't have a choice. She lived w/us and made my life miserable for 3 years. One of us had to leave and it wasn't going to be me.

You have to a decision to make. Either live with DH and his disgusting pig of a son, or leave and create a healthy, nuturing environment for you and your children.

doormat333's picture

Get out NOW! It never gets

Get out NOW! It never gets better!

Vanessa Winthrop's picture

Yes, we always get the blame

Yes, we always get the blame and if hecan't see it for what it really is how can you feel safe and comfortable in your home and not emotionally beat up under those circumstances. For your own sanity and peace of mind...ask them to leave unless there are major changes that are willing to take place and this time you call the shots!!!

Vanessa Winthrop

Vanessa Winthrop's picture

OR ELSE..Hit the road Sam and

OR ELSE..Hit the road Sam and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out...or maybe it should! Eye-wink

Vanessa Winthrop

mystery1's picture

please take my advice. get

please take my advice. get the hell out of that situation and don't marry him. I married a man with a grown child and it has been hell ever since. I love my husband but sometimes I feel like I am going to have to walk out because of his dysfunctional family. it has caused us alot of problems and I thought when we married it would be ok since his child was grown, but it has not be ok. I pray to god the spoiled brat keeps a job, cause he has a wife that doesn't work, and 2 children, so I feel like if he loses his job, it will be the end of my marriage, cause i will not take care of them.

I have one horrible stepson!!

emotionaly beat up's picture

Mystrry1, I am very sorry for

Mystrry1, I am very sorry for you. It is a living hell. This is not really the fault of the skids you know. They were raised this way. And while many husbands blame the bms and say they could do nothing because they didn't have the kids full time. That is a cop out and a lie they tell themselves and others to try and justify their lazy parenting, and the fact that they are too frightened of the spoilt brats they raised to parent them, because the brats will not talk to them. The way their kids turn out is not their fault. It is the BM and the sm, because the SM is the adult, she needs to try change her attitude, she hates his kids, she doesn't want him to have a relationship with his kids , she needs to understand these kids have been through a divorce, she should try harder. Most of the blame is on the SM because if he laid it all on the doorstep of BM, then people would say he as the father is also to blame. So SM gets the bulk of the blame for his kids being rotten so he can feel better about himself.

See, never dads fault, nor is it the fault of his off spring. So why should he do anything to fix it. BM and SM need to lift their game. Then it would all be good. These kids have lazy selfish fathers who fail to act like a father and accept the responsibilities a father has.