4Thebetter's picture

Mothers sacrifice.

My story is quiet the opposite of most. Things were great at the beginning with my stepdaughter who was only 6. Things since have only gone sour. Though my husband has never been on my side the last 13 years, He is the father of my two and for them I sacrifice my sanity and my happiness.

nelly's picture

This made me want to

This made me want to cry...why would you want to live your whole life so unhappy?

4Thebetter's picture

I don't want to be in happy.

I don't want to be in happy. But with my two being 8 and 2 I just couldn't bare the thought of not kissing them goodnight every night. The step is 18 and I keep telling my self that things will change.

outtahere's picture

This is very sad. *hugs*. I

This is very sad. *hugs*.

I too sacrificed a lot for the sake of my sons when married to my ex for 20 years. I realise now that I was fooling myself and it would have been better for all to have got out sooner.

I'm not suggesting this is what you should do. Only you know what's best for you. I'm just saying that sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees.

Best wishes.

A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary - Dorothy C Fisher

Re: PAS - 'Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope' (Aristotle)

4Thebetter's picture

I appreciate the hugs. I am

I appreciate the hugs. I am sad that there are others out there like me but am also glad that there are people who can understand. I do love my husband though maybe not with the same eyes that fell in love 13 years ago. He is a guys guy and does not know how to deal with his 1st born daughter nor the emotional world of women in general but I couldn't leave. I keep hoping that the now 18 year old SD will move out soon and I will be able to breath once more.

StepAside's picture

Still trying to figure out

Still trying to figure out why you think your situation is different from most here?

Smooth seas don't make great sailors.

4Thebetter's picture

It's the opposite as in

It's the opposite as in things were great at the beginning and then went sour. We're as the majority of stories I hear the trouble is right at the beginning or people say they just can't connect with the step child and I think that if there is a problem right off the bat then those people shouldn't get married because it will get worse. I had no idea that my sweet 6year old SD was going to change into a monster and had I known I would have left a long time ago.

StepAside's picture

My YSD25 couldn't snuggle

My YSD25 couldn't snuggle enough with me when she was 5. Our hands were practically glued together. She wanted to be with me on all the rides. At 14 she flipped me off with both hands. At 21, she told her father that she hated me too much to ever step foot into our house, even if it meant she never saw him or our kids.

It's pretty easy to start off good with little kids. They are so warm and fuzzy. Hand them a pack of Skittles and you are a rock star.

Smooth seas don't make great sailors.

4Thebetter's picture

You can truely relate. That

You can truely relate. That really sucks. It is so hurtful to see them change so drastically. My SD verbally abuses my 8 yr old son and when he gives her a taste of her own medicine she flips out and calls him names. And if anyone dare says anything to her oh boy duck and cover. She flies off the rocker with its all him he gets away with everything he's such a brat and then of course the eyes are on me because I obviously put him up to it. My husband and mother in law who do not suport me calls her a bitch all the time. I don't like to but man when the shoe fits. I can not stand to be in the same room with her anymore. I am uncomfortable. I refuse to attend almost any family gathering because there is always drama. If I were in a different situation and had the ability the SD would never get to have anything to do with my two lil ones. They have done nothing wrong to deserve her negative BS. I did nothing wrong to that girl but stick it out with her dad even when I wanted to throw in the towel. The worse part is that when I do try to talk to my husband it turns into an argument about me not
Picking. I just want what is best for my children.