Depressed - can't stand being around step kids anymore
I am a stepfather to SD 15, Sd 14 and SD 12.. lived together for 3 years now
We are full time, usually see them 12 days out of every 14.. at the moment Bio-F has disappeared out of the country on a training course for 4 weeks..
Normally what happens is when that weekend comes where their dad takes them, it cant come soon enough, but as theyre here all the time, theyre just driving me mad..
Constant fighting, swabbling, swearing... any advice i try to give is just responded with a 'look'..
I lose my temper from time to time and then I feel like the bad guy, I start beating myself up saying 'im not their dad they dont deserve to be shouted at'...
DW tells me'they are just kids, this is how teenage kids are'.... mayeb shes right, maybe if they were my own daughters I would be able to cope...
At times I really have tried to love them as my own daughters, but the constant 'selflessness' approach just backfires because teenage kids are ungrateful
DW says i am doing a great job and they really like me (apparently).. but i just cant stand them, theyre rude, greedy, ungrateful, arrogant... try to escape sometimes... but dread coming home....
Its also hard being the only guy in the house!!
I had two step-daughters. At
I had two step-daughters. At my entry one was 12 and she never liked me the other 14 who was friendly enough. Fortunately they got along with themselves reasonably well. With the 12 yo I eventually had to completely disengage to the point where I even quit initiating "good night" with her and that took a lot of tension out of the relationship. She changed a lot after she realized I no longer gave a damn but never went much beyond tolerance.
I maintain the hands off approach to them to this very day some 30 years later.
Take a gander at this, I had to make my own way back then and haven't read this through but it seems highly recommended by others:
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
^^^EXACTLY^^^ Also known
^^^EXACTLY^^^
Also known as...LAZY PARENTING!!!
Hi thanks for all the
Hi thanks for all the comments, I suppose disengagement is something I've done with the oldest I've just never put that label on it, I think I will try to disengage from middle one as she is the one who I fight with, the youngest is a good girl tbh and she treats me with respect and love… I would say the only thing I disagree with is what 'givingtree' said that treat them as my own or disengage@"… the problem IS that I treat them as my own and I'm only given disrespect in return, they do have 2 parents I don't think they need a 3rd