Step Talk

So our daughter was born, she is 2 months old now, beautiful & healthy. Life is great on that end, busy but amazing. The skids adore her and her daddy is just in love all over again.

But....the BM is insane. She needs to get a grip on life. And fast. Well, she's always been insane (our GP suspected she was bipolar years ago)but now it's 700% worse now that my husband and I have a child. The skids started acting weird just after she was born...but we were busy & figured it was them just adjusting to the new family situation and it would pass. Nope. Were we wrong.

Apparantly, according to my SS6, there has been 'yelling & screaming at the 'other house' for a long time now' (what a long time is in the mind of a 6yr old I'm not sure). He said that his now stepfather has threatened to leave his mother twice when he was on the phone talking with someone, but hasn't yet.....*just an update, his stepfather was her best friend's husband - okay drama over*...anyways, so both skids don't want to go back to the other house when they have to leave here, and always ask if they can just stay, which of course they can't according to the separation agreement. When my hubby dropped off the skids there a week before my daughter was born he saw him throw a carseat onto the lawn & scream at the BM inside, before he saw my hubby and then froze, stopped & ran back inside. The daycare worker told me the skids have been very 'quiet and unlike themselves lately' today when I picked them up. She also said the BM looked 'like crap and like she hadn't slept very well'. That just says to me she's doing her 'bag lady' routine as I call it. She's looked crazy before. She left 2 messages on our home answering machine this morning about my SS who wasn't feeling well. She was supposed to drop him off at our house but instead took him to daycare and left him there sick until we could get him! The daycare lady was irritated(exposing the other kids).

My SS has been acting out at school and at home, hard to discipline, doesn't listen, went from loving books & reading to hating them & wanting to only play video games & watch television, talks back, went from being able to eat anything to suddenly picky, sulks, throws temper tantrums, stomps up the stairs & slams his bedroom door, threw his scooter on someone's lawn when he didn't get his way....not paying attention in class, being a class clown, fighting with his sister. The ONLY person that can get him to behave & be normal is me. I spent 2 years raising him myself. I went casual at my job to take care of him from when he was 3 1/2 to 5 1/2 and homeschooled him. In September he entered full time school in grade 1 and since then things started to go downhill. I can't devote so much to him anymore because of my daughter. But I believe it's his way of expressing his frustration with his BM & stepfather.

My SD8 has started acting strange too (around the same time). She has had several private talks with me about her feelings. This is a model child, she never complains, always happy & smiling, very obedient - the ideal 'skid' so to speak. She cries to me, asks why she has to be in a divorced family, that she feels like an outcast at school, that other kids treat her differently, asks why her mother didn't love her Dad, why she wanted to be with another man, why does she have to have 3 stepbrothers (no question on why she has to have a stepmother though or maybe she was being nice, she's like that). She has NEVER asked anything like this before, except for the night before I married him, she stayed with me and asked for the truth about what happened between her Mom & Dad so I told her. She harbors a lot of resentment against her mother, but hides it. I told her to talk to BM about it and she refused. I got her a journal so she can write her feelings in it and she spends hours furiously writing in it. She is an angel behaviour-wise (which makes up for her brother's craziness)....but when she finally snaps I bet it will be directed towards the BM, which will make an already unstable situation worse.

And my hubby and I plan to get pregnant again next year. What will she do? God she made her bed, she cheated on him, tried to ruin his life, and now she's married to the guy she cheated with, he left his wife and 3 young boys for her, they're married now...and who cares??!! I mean, she's got to know she's with a serial cheater and he's probably already found a 'better model' because he's cheated on her in the past (which she doesn't believe)....why all the craziness?? Is it the holidays? Is it work? Does she miss her old life?

If they are to divorce (everyone we know believes this will happen soon & he will file) I hope it doesn't affect the skids anymore. We have had enough of this crap. I actually want them to stay together! No more change for the skids for god sakes. At first we were laughing at their relationship and the instablity and strange-ness of it all & hoping they would dissolve, but now we're somewhat supportive because the skids need a stable environment. They're tired of all the moving, not knowing which house they're sleeping at, living out of their backpacks, and being unable to have any structure whatsoever! And who blames them really.

I absolutely think the BM is a lunatic, but this year I sent them a Christmas card. It may piss her off, but we want to be the bigger people. My husband doesn't care either way about her but I think it doesn't hurt to be nice. And since I had my baby I don't feel the same about her. I think she's weird and off her rocker but I don't hate her...I just think she needs some guidance.

Weird but....we saw a psychic in New Orleans when I was 3 months pregnant who said I was pregnant (even though I wasn't showing & he had no way of knowing). He said the child would cause a disruptive person in our life to have a complete life breakdown & be unable to bother us due to personal & mental crisis (BM is the only person that bothers us at all). He also said that we would own a restaurant, we would buy a sailboat, my husband would become financially independent through personal achievement, and that I would have 3 baby girls...but that seems a little far fetched - who knows though!)

I guess I want to know WHY is this happening now? Their life was fine up until my baby was born. Now things just keep getting worse (not on our end, things are great and good fortune keeps blessing us every week it seems!)....but worse for the skids at their 'other home'.

What is with this woman? Why can't she just stop acting nuts! This has happened before but not to this extent.