You're definitely not alone. It's complicated that's for sure. You can't blame yourself for the situation, you can't choose who you fall in love with, and until you are in the situation you can't imagine how hard and complex it is. The best you can do is try to build a relationship with each child. Get to know them. The teens will be tough. My relationship with my SD9 is more like my relationship with my nieces, an Auntie role. So I'm not a parental figure, nor a peer figure, but a caring adult figure.

I am feeling more apart of my family with time and effort, but there are still times that it feels awkward. Did you spend much time with the kids before you moved in?