This is gonna be a problem. I'm willing to bet that your fiance feels like your daughter doesn't like her and that's why she's trying so hard to "win her over." This will pan out into BEING offended if your little girl doesn't eat what your fiance fixes, etc.

And of course, your fiance is probably frightened because she feels that if your daughter doesn't like her, somehow down the line YOU won't like her (so to speak) and your entire relationship will be blown to hell. Sounds like overthinking?? You betcha. But we're women. We overthink. It's what we do.

Okay so! You need to sit your fiance down and tell her point blank:

"'Jill' likes you just fine. You can leave the kid alone and it's not going to bother anyone. SHE wants to be left alone. The kid is an introvert, it's not that she doesn't like you, she does. However, she is content to be left alone and it's not a reflection on you.
You need to back off of her and let her be, and it WILL be uncomfortable at first, but you need to crawl out of her butt. The more you try and get up there, the worse you make it."

Then I would have 'Jill' maybe make an effort to spend a LITTLE time with your fiance so it isn't all one way or the other. Maybe have 'Jill' ask her to watch a movie with her or look at some bugs, because I can guarantee you your fiance feels VERY left out of that part of your (and her) life.

Is that an acceptable compromise?? What do you think?

Fearless

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Soon to be Fearless the Free!