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Recent Blog Posts
Last week I posted that I had installed locking doors on my office and the master bedroom, in order to keep nosy SD17 from snooping around and messing with stuff. SD17 apparently just noticed this, and in realiation, she locked the door to her room just prior to leaving for school. Apparently she got ahold of another one of the generic keys for the interior doors, and thinks that she can keep her room "secure" during the day.
I leveled with GG that I cannot exercise in front of him.
Either he'll be:
1. judgeing me
2. thinking it's foreplay
TOTALLY derails my concentration so I'm taking up walking at the local school district after work.
He says he's fine with that or even me joining a gym. I brought up "with what money?"
He went into his "Money Grows On Trees" schpiel
The walking program is FREE!!
My best friends are my family. I was a very late in life child, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. So needless to say I have a pretty non existent relationship with her. It is polite and distant. My dad who loved me and cared for me passed away many years ago.
Ok GG thinks and will ALWAYS think that he is justified to treat me ANY way he wants if I so much as half glower at his precious crotch droppings.
Established.
So on Sunday after getting into it again and trying to get it through his THICK SKULL that the REASON i talk to other women is because HE doesn't understand. He still doesn't understand and has made it clear that he wants me to go back to doormat days, aka 100% responsibility and 0% authority.
Dear SS24,
I Have been the closest thing to a mother you had for the past 15 years.
I have been at all your cricket matches
I have been the one called into school if something was wrong
I have been the one that helped you do your homework
I have been the one that that was crying myself to sleep when your heart was broken by your first girlfriend
I have always been there for you since you were 8 years old through bad and good times.
im sick of one minute DH backing me up and next its im too hard on SS8, but then its i never discipline SS8 and just yap at him. which is not true i do discipline him but 70% of the time DH is circumventing what i am doing. so then i tell him to deal with it and its i dont care about his kids blah the blah blah. BTW have i mentioned i love just love getting scolded by DH right in front of not only his kids but mine as well. can anyone note the sarcasm???? then its we have to listen to SS8's ideas of where to go. its always SS8 where would you like to go.
that incident that happened (blog posted titled as dh scares me on 1/27) was NOT something small. I am not CRAZY. H keeps saying that 'that one tiny incident shouldnt make you question our marriage' it wasnt just that! I started feeling that way in december, but just realized it more after that incident that I wasnt happy. I am sorry I feel this way. I wish that me feeling this way would not possibly break up our marriage. He also says 'its just the stress of school, work, and feeling like I am a burden that makes you feel unhappy' its not just stress.
Today #2SS became an Eagle Scout and I was recognised with a 'mom' pin. I was/am so proud of him. He overcame ADHD and remains unmmedicated, survived a near faatal bicycle/car accident 6 years ago that had him in a coma for 4 days, is the Great Procrastinator and drives us crazy .... but he made it and we (DH and I) are extremely proud of him.
This child is crazy! SD5 won't eat anything but macaroni and cheese, pb&j's, cereal, breakfast food, grilled cheese, and JUNK! Last night I made meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, and she didn't touch it. For lunch, I heated up some chef boyardee lasagna, and she didn't touch it and threw it away when I wasn't looking. Are you kidding me? What kid doesn't like chef boyardee? What kid doesn't like pizza? I'm at a loss what to do. It's driving me insane and I'm seriously sick of it. DH is tired of it too, but not so much that he won't give into her so she eats something.
My daughter (age1) is going to be travelling to my home country with MIL. It's also DH's home country and the in-laws' home country, but I only recently moved here to get married to DH, and they have been here since DH was 12.
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