Hey guys and gals, haven't posted in a while but BM is as much a PITA as ever. I previously wrote about her refusing to pay her share of an uninsured medical bill for SD to the tune of $800 which we had to pay along with our portion of $3200. My DH decided to let it go (big issue with me but trying to get over it and move on, it's not working, lol). SO here we are at "back to school time" and so I asked him 2 weeks ago to contact BM to ask her to pay for the kids school supplies since (a) I purchased both kids supplies last year with no reimbursement from her and (b) in light of her refusing to pay anything towards the medical bill I categorically refuse to pay for supplies this year, we pay her substantial CS even though we have joint custody. So, of course, he didn't contact her - fast forward to today - the kids are at her house for a couple of days and then back to us until first day of school so my DH decides to tell the kids to make sure to get their school supplies over the next few days.

Sometimes I think my DH goes out of his way to frustrate me on purpose, he can't really be that simple, can he? Masybe it's me? I honestly just don't ever think I will get a grip on how he thinks. The stuff he says and does has absolutely no logic to me.

Looking for opinions and/or advice please. My DH's divorce states that he is responsible for 80% of the above and BM 20%. They have been divorced since 2003 and this order has never been enforced. My hubby has always picked up the full cost of uninsured medical expenses (he says he was waiting until she got on her feet after the divorce - hmm-mmmm - apparently driving a flashy car, vacationing 2/3 times a year, shopping extravagantly and paying nothing for the upkeep of your children is not a sign that one is on one's feet - I digress - grrrrrr) and insured is provided by him also. Over the course of the last 2 years my SD has been treated for a back condition which has resulted in us paying 4k over and above the insured expense. This has ALWAYS been an issue for me, we got married 3 years ago and BM has a good job, earns good money but has never been held accountable for any of her kid's expenses. So my DH finally grew some balls and asked her for her portion - we have only just paid off the last bill - had to pay in instalments over a year it was so high. This whole thing was something instigated by BM and her mom and half of the treatment the doctors said she had to have was never enforced by BM so it was just money thrown out the window at our expense.

OMG - I have to get another person's viewpoint on this - major vent - maybe I am just way off base here and need someone objective to tell me so but I don't think so ..... so today after Church we are trying to come up with a few ideas for eating lunch out on a budget since money is relatively tight at the minute, actually money is always tight.

Good morning guys. So BM asked us to change our custody schedules to week on week off, we currently do 2 days a week each and EOW. We said fine - let's try it starting next week which means this week we only have SKs our regular 2 days since this weekend coming is BM's. Rewind to 2 weeks ago - BM asked us to have the kids on her 2 scheduled days which meant we had them for 9 days since it was our weekend also. The day she was supposed to pick them up for her 5 days she calls DH and says she is in another state, she has problems with her brand new car and won't be back for another 4 days (what a crock of s***) - so we then have kids for 2 weeks without a break. Both SK's have ADHD and a lot of behavioural issues. The day she was to return she was supposed to pick them up at 11.00 but what a surprise she doesn't make it back until late afternoon and wants to do grocery shopping first so we drop kids off at 5.30pm on Saturday night. She then will have them for a week returning them last Saturday as that was our weekend. She says she can't return them Saturday because she is out of town and will return them Monday - we say OK because kids want to see her - they miss her - it's natural. Fast forward to yesterday and BM has SD call me to tell me it our weekend this weekend. I say no, your mom is mistaken, may I talk to her please? What ensued was the post pathetic display of selfishness and immaturity I have ever heard. She starts screaming at me that this is our weekend because she had them last weekend and if she has them again this weekend she will have had them for 3 weekends in a row. Ugh, excuse me, this is your scheduled weekend, your last scheduled weekend you only had them for Saturday night and Sunday and you had them last weekend because YOU said you were out of town and could not return them to us despite the fact that my SD told us they were home all weekend (they live 10 mins from us). Is all of this our fault? I think not. She is so mad I can't even make out what she is saying - I tell her she needs to speak to my DH because I won't listen to her tirade and she hangs up. She kept them last weekend assuming we'd take them this weekend plus the next 7 days so she could go out of town with BF. My SS's teacher told us she couldn't make PTC next week as she is out of town all week. Anyway she then has my SD call ME back to tell me she does not need us to take them on her days next week. I said I was sorry SD was hearing all of this but can I speak to mom again? She announces she is going for full custody and hangs up again. So my DH had been beside me the whole time, she refused to talk to him. When he called her she would not take his calls so he left a message for her. When she called back I was very proud of the way he handled himself. He basically told her that it was ridiculous that she would even suggest seeking full custody simply because she had made an assumption with the schedule and was annoyed it wasn't working out for her. She hangs up on him when she doesn't hear what she wants to hear. An hour or two pass and then she starts sending my husband pics of the kids in Halloween costumes. She then calls him up and says she was thinking of bringing them over to his parents and were they home? My DH asks why would my parents want to see you - you just announced you were going after full custody (she does not ever see/speak to his parent) so she hangs up yet again. We are both just amazed at how this grown 36 year old woman behaves. I feel like buying her a self-help book on anger management. I mean how can someone get so bitter and twisted about something so easily resolvable. And if you have such a hard time taking your kids on your scheduled days how in the heck are you going to manage full custody. Give it a rest. I don't need the drama.

Hey Guys - I haven't blogged in ages but I lurk every single day. Lurking here has kept me sane. Things have been crazy busy of late and I have allowed myself to just get tied up in knots trying to do it all. Anyway just wanted to say hi to everyone - old and new - and to re-commit to participating fully to this community.

Ok so I've decided to borrow Little Jo's name for BM. My husband and I used to call her the she-Devil between ourselves but The Darkness }:)somehow fits better since she is like one big fat frickin' dark cloud hanging over our every thought and action.

Hi everyone, looking for a little guidance on this one please. My DH's divorce states that BM must pay for 20% uninsured medical expenses and DH 80%. They have been divorced 4 years now and my DH has never asked for the 20%, has always just incurred the bill 100%.

My DH and I have been married for just over a year and I find some of his behaviour a little odd when it comes to how he raises his kids. We have 2 - SD14 and SS9 - I have no children of my own. When we first started living together, before we were married, we slept in separate bedrooms, he in with son and me in his bed. Prior to me moving in with them SS slept in dad's bed. We have had trouble getting SS to stay in his own bed even 1 year after marriage. SS is obsessed with sleeping with us particularly with his dad and shows some effeminate behaviour which I attribute to this as DH never encouraged SS to try to be a big boy and in many ways smothers him. But the most disturbing behaviour for me is how my DH behaves with SD. He frequently in the past slapped her or pinched her on the butt. He lies in bed with her when tucking her in to chat and say prayers and if ever any issue arises he always thinks how will it affect SD. I found this behaviour a little uncomfortable and after talking to him about it he seemed to try to be better but lately he's reverted back to his old ways. Last week he bought me a birthday gift and when he told me what it was he said he was going to get me "the pink one but didn't as he thought SD would be suicidal" (pink's her favorite color and mine for this particular item so he got me white) when he told me this I got quite annoyed because 1) it was my birthday gift from him and 2) he thought of SD 1st before me at a time when it's my frickin' birthday.

Hi Guys
Has anyone any experience relating to the following and what to do:- this is BM's weekend and Mondays and Tuesdays are our days, the divorce papers say that our parenting time begins at 9.00 a.m. or after school. As the kids are off school this week for Thanksgiving we expected to get them at 9.00 a.m. tomorrow and my DH called to confirm that he would pick kids up from BM's at 9.00a.m. as usually happens in this situation and which has never been a problem before. Both my SD14 and SS9 have ADHD. When BM used to drop them off on days like tomorrow it would usually be around 7.30/7.40 and the kids sometimes would not have had their medicine or breakfast or taken a shower. SS would turn out to be quite a handful for me as my DH would be at work. We agreed with BM that DH would pick kids up from her house at 9.00am to allow SS to have extra sleep and basically have time to wake up before being thrown int he car to come to us. Well tonight BM has SD call us and insists that she will be dropping kids off early, when my DH asks to speak to her she refuses to speak to him and then hangs up the phone - when we called her back she shouts "it's done" and won't talk to my husband but tells SD to tell dad she'll still be dropping them off early.

My SD and I have an on again off again relationship depending on whether she gets what she wants or not or whether BM fills her head with crap. I've always taken her shopping something BM does rarely because it seems to be a common interest for both of us.

So here's the latest clanger, SD has been fitted for a backbrace which she must wear at night whilst in bed, we have 50/50 custody so obviously backbrace must make it's way from BMs to our house and vice versa.

Hi Guys
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, extra work and family commitments have left little spare time to write but I have been reading all the posts. So here I am with the latest issue and I don't really care if BM reads this, in fact I wish she would.

Hi Guys, as you may have noticed I replied to a lot of postings over the last few days but wrote none of my own because SK's were gone and it was bliss, no arguing, no discomfort in my own home, no dealing with biomom, no nothing, just normality, well tomorrow they're back for a week and I'm already tense, I really wish my husband did not have joint custody.

to see if anyone has any thoughts on it, maybe I'm overreacting or too sensitive, I don't know. Biomom never buys SK's clothes and I mean never, if she does they're forbidden from bringing them or wearing them to our house, they turn up in all kinds of crap, my SS turns up in jeans so short he looks like an orphan and she passes them off to him as "playpants".