Well, I haven't been on here in a while! First, the site went down, then had some "tween" issues with SD11, then found out after a year and half of trying that I'm pregnant!!

I know the drill... most days I'm ok and focus on the positive. But damn, I'm drinking all of Colorado Girl's wine tonight I've just had it! Custodial Stepmotherhood really does suck sometimes.

I understand that just because my SD's live with me doesn't mean I'll ever be "anything" in their eyes. But it sucks. Their mom sucks. Even at her best, she sucks. This year had by far been the best, seriously. Background for the newbies: Married close to 3 years, SD11 and SD7 live with us full time and my BD15 is with us 100%, BD15's dad never in the picture. SD's BM rarely would see them, real party mom. But she got married this year. The new guy she married is a decade younger and for some reason scared of my DH. Regardless, BM is better; more grounded. We can all sit at a game where my DH is coaching, not speak at all but have some calm, civil experience (about time!) Just this year she took SD's on a trip and brought DH, my BD and ME a gift back. Go figure, I thought good things were finally happening.

Ok, not really step related but I need some serious help. My DH is turning 40 next week. He's working that day and that evening, usually doesn't work evenings but his restaurant hosts a religious youth group meeting on Tuesday evenings in the summer. So I feel bad and want to do something for him. His restaurant isn't doing great (what is in this economy!), he's having a milestone birthday, and his kids are with BM that week...Poor DH!

Just a major vent here - bear with me.

Why is it that because we have a uterus we are supposed to automatically take care of things like laundry, cooking, appointments etc... So I do take care of these things and usually don't get annoyed. BUT SERIOUSLY - do the words L-I-S-T-E-N mean anything to you DH? Apparently not. So I go out of my way and make appointments for SD's all the time because he won't do it and BM won't do it. I guess I could just opt out and someone would do it...??? Nope. DH hasn't even been to the dentist in 2 years but that's another story.

I hate that word. Regress. And it's just what I did last night. I'd just gotten to that "happy" place, married to DH for 2 1/2 years, custodial SM to SD11 and SD6 and BM to BD14. Things this year have been great. BM became less obsessed with DH, met and married a guy 10 years her junior last month. Finally all of our boundaries were in place and seemed to be working...And then last night....

Ok so I want to hear stories of whether or not your situation with BM improved or got worse when BM got married. Little background for those who don't know me. DH and I have been married 2 1/2 years. We have my BD14, SD11 and SD6. DH is primary custodian for his 2 and my daughter is with us all the time. BUSY!

Yes, that's a happy new year to everyone but also the subject line in an email from SD10. SD10 and SD6 spend Christmas evening through New year's day with BM. This usually translates to BM driving them to her parents out of town and leaving them there after staying a day or two. BM is the non-custodial and really doesn't spend a lot of time with the girls when she has them. Pretty much boyfriends or parties come first.

I'm having a tough time lately. I read about disengaging and pretty much disengaged with BM. Things have been good in that regard for the past 6 months or so. Problem now? I'm about to be the primary parent in both my SD's life, and I'm "only" the stepmother.

I received this as an email today and added the "stepparent" in since that applies as well. We all need a good laugh today!
Enjoy
Stepmom_C

PARENT/STEPPARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Stepmom

I'm wondering why I continue to feel like crap. The job of step-parent is hard enough. Is it harder when you are the custodial stepmother? I've really hit a rough patch and I'm not sure I know how to fix it. Long story short...I get the blame for everything. SD's(10&6) get disciplined, it's my fault. School is too much pressure, it's my fault. IT'S MY FAULT B/C I PAY FOR A PRIVATE EDUCATION? I've really had it. Their BM is a psycho. She's no help. She thinks life should be fun and the girls should dance 4 nights a week. WHOOOO FREAKIN HOOOO. Then they can grow up like her and live in an apt. with strippers like she does. Sorry, but that is true. My DH disciplines then they tell their crazy BM that I did something like "hit them, take tv from them, you name it, I do it." BM threatens me (via phone) in front of the girls and they still throw me under the bus thinking they will somehow get something out of it. They say they don't want to live with her. My DH won't make them live with her. My BD14 has to live with all this drama. WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH? I'm resentful because I do everything for them and get NO respect. And financially they are taking from me - their BM won't pay for education or much of anything so it falls on me. I bring in more $$ than DH. HOW DO I FIND PEACE??? I know it's not about the $$. I love these kids but the constant threats from BM and SDs blaming me for everything is really putting a strain on my marriage. Advice pls??

Just when I thought I'd heard it all. My DH is the primary custodian. BM has EOW visitation and during her last visitation she was watching Hannah Montanna with SD10 & SD6. SD6 asked "what happened to Hannah Montanna's mom?" and SD10 says "she died." Then...BM says "I hope your f#cking stepmother dies soon. Maybe I can make it happen. You know the devil is going to take her and your dad."

I'm not sure where to begin. My SD10 and SD6 live with me and DH is primary custodian. I also have a BD14 who lives with us 100% of the time. Problem? For the past 3 years I feel as though I've been catering to my SD's and my BD is missing out. They have an abusive BM but I'm starting to notice more (now that they are older) it seems they are "playing" both sides of the parenting fence. I know it's typical in many divorced situations but I guess I thought our family was different because we have them the majority of the time. The BM only calls once every 2 weeks or so and it's not been a nice experience when she does decide to come around. She's threatened me and DH, police have been involved, overall nasty experience that was finally starting to settle down a little and the drama was getting to be less frequent. Until this weekend...

What are your honeymoon stories? In my situation it was my first marriage and my husband's second. I have a BD14, SD10 & SD6. Primary custody is in our home for all three. We got married close to 2 years ago and put the honeymoon on "hold"...how many had to/ chose to/ do that? If so did you end up having one later?

I posted quite some time ago about my DH and his lying about his ex-wife. Finally we had worked through our issues on this one and things have been going so smooth lately. We even began planning/talks about having a child of our own. Well, that's what I thought anyway...

I know this seems petty and ridiculous but today I'M FED UP! There have been plenty of posts concerning who buys the gifts for Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day etc... Well...I've been married now for 2 years. In the two years we haven't bought BB anything for Mother's Day or her birthday (mainly because of the hell she's put us through and also because she complained that the last gift card we got was from the wrong store). If SD's want to give her something then they "make" something sweet or give a card with some cute pictures (for most mothers this would be even MORE special since it was made by her children...not enough for her). On her birthday this year she texted my DH and said she was "crying for him because he didn't buy her a present and she didn't like the person he had become." Yes, I have one of those CRAZY BB's. BIPOLAR FREAKIN CRAZY BIATCH.