....BM threatening to move the custody case from our current county, to a different one. Can she really do this? The case has already been heard twice in our county. The order's been in effect there since 2005. The papers she was served said she is in the same county as us. From what I know, her address is still covered in our county. SS was born here, and lived here until she wanted to move over a year later. Now she is saying that she can file with this other county, because that's the one listed on her lease. We have no idea where the courthouse is in that county. We're not so much worried that having the custody heard in a different county will work against us~ actually the county we live in is one of the most backwards and corrupt in the Tri-State area. We just don't know how he would get to the hearing.

I have been pondering this question a lot lately. The courts claim that everything they do is in the child's "best interest", not the mother's or the father's. The courts claim that they are not biased, but I see a different story. Because of the way the contempt and modification hearing went down in May, BM is now convinced that she can do whatever she wants and it's ok. DH emailed her to ask if we can transfer the booster seat that she says she has into his Dad's car if we pick SS up that way. First of all, she didn't even answer the question, she just said "If you're talking about this weekend (the scheduled visit) I told you several times that he's not coming". She also said that she hasn't made copies of the clinical tests that were done on SS back in mid-August, and DH does share legal custody and the arbitrator did tell her to share information, even though he wouldn't find her in contempt for not sharing info. It's like DH has no real idea about SS's life.

Can't really say that I'm surprised, just appalled that BM is fighting so fiercely over this issue of telling DH that he'll either switch weekends or let her pick SS up early on Saturday (weekend visitation is 6pm Friday to 6 pm Sunday), or else he will "lose" that weekend. As if SS is a "game" for her to always "win" against DH!! But now she is trying to pull a new trick out of her sleeve, saying that if we do not use a car seat for him, even if we "call the cops" to get her to let SS go with us, she says she "can promise that they won't make [her] release him if [you] don't have the proper child restraints".

BM still has the brass balls to tell DH that SS will NOT come for his scheduled weekend, and it's "the end of the discussion". She also threw in that we could "be mad and threaten all we want". DH offered to take SS to the party as someone suggested, and she said "No, I had no idea of that?", and throwing it in our face that we "don't even pick him up". She knows that we do it when we are able. But either way, of course she still didn't give any info as to where and when the party is, things we would need to know if we're going to take him. She just wants to demand that we switch weekends and that's final. Oh, and now she's claiming that he was JUST invited to ANOTHER party that Saturday, so she's saying he can't come bcause he has plans for both Saturday and Sunday. I'm thinking about the possibility that there really is no birthday parties for SS to go to, that she just has other plans for him and doesn't want to tell us.

The latest drama BM wants to pull is the fact that she wants us to "switch weekends" again, because she says that SS has a birthday party that he really wants to go to. First she asked if she could pick him up early, and then she said to switch weekends. Although now I'm pretty sure she set this argument up, because she has now told my husband that SS "won't be able to keep his scheduled visit", because "he has plans that day". Indeed he has plans, to spend time with his father and other family. So, anyway, I guess that means that when we go to pick him up, she will refuse to let him go with us. But she's still telling us to "let her know" what's going on, even though she's already trying to dictate.

It's been quite some time since I've posted. Things have been insanely busy and hectic. Lately the hubby and I get up at 4 in the morning so he can go into work early and grab some overtime. I have to get up with him so that I will have a chance to eat breakfast and all, because once 6:30 comes I go through a whirlwind of chores, of course.

Yes, DH found a pretty great job back in May~ it is so close that he walks to work, the boss is great, there's lots of perks,he loves the work he does....we couldn't ask for much better on that front.

Ok, so I know last time people thought I was wrong for how I felt about the situation with BM, but today I really do need to vent and blow off steam.

Contempt of custody hearing was today. Even though DH requested me to come in to be a potential witness, they denied it, even though it says you can bring other parties if you feel it will be helpful. So all of this is coming from what DH said happened.

I just want to scream a litany of curses right now....

Last month DH made a HUGE lump sum support payment to the evil wretch. DRS told him that he was clear of any contempt, and that so long as he makes sure to give something each month then he would be ok. About two weeks after he paid, we finally managed to wrangle my mother over here to babysit our 6 kids so that we could take the bus to BM's town, walk to her house and pick up SS. This was on St. Patrick's Day, and he hadn't had a visit since Jan. 21st. BM had sent an email saying "you want him, come get him". She said that the only days he would be "available" were the weekends, even though he only goes to school 3 days a week. No explanation was given why DH "couldn't" pick him up any other weekday.

Alot to say about BM right now....

Finally she responded by email. But it doesn't matter. It's the same bullshit, over and over. Now she is just telling DH to get SS all the time, and that if he takes the bus that no one will meet at the bus stop, he has to go to her house to pick up and drop off. She won't discuss a compromise. We asked her about SS coming to our 2nd daughter's birthday party this Saturday. The custody order says that the custodial parent is to see to the child's attendance at such things as extracurricular activities and birthday parties. But she still told my DH that the only way SS will come to this party is if DH gets him. We tried to explain how that would not be fair to our daughter~ the public buses start running around 10 on a Saturday. We would have to change our normal party time, around 3, and have it earlier, because BM said that the buses stop running in her area around 6pm. It would take an hour to get to her town...then at least 15 minutes to walk to her house and then another 15 to walk BACK to the bus stop. So we'd have to wait for the next bus to come, so we wouldn't get back until 1. And everything would have to be strictly followed to schedule, because it's happened before when buses won't run regularly...there's been times we've had to hoof it for a couple miles. If that happened in her town, we'd be stuck for a way home.

Some updates here~

My DH hasn't heard anything from BM in over a week and a half, and SS hasn't visited in a few weeks now. On one hand, I can't say that I miss the head-spinning emails from BM that came every day. But she's further alienating SS from us again. There were a few times DH checked up on her, and it showed her as being online...so I don't know if she's just not checking her email, or reading them but purposely not responding.

I think my brain blew a fuse....

Anyone who has read my recent blogs know about the situation with SS's IEP meeting, and how BM was saying how she DIDN'T want me there, I wasn't "allowed".

A short while ago, she sent my H a few emails, the one dealing with the meeting said this (among other things)~

Not much new here....DH called the school again. The teacher said Yes, she spoke with BM and Yes, BM was VERY VEHEMENT that I not attend. The teacher said she didn't understand why, and she thought that it would be good for me to come...but because of BM raising such a stink about it, that wouldn't be good for SS. She never said that I couldn't go, just that having "Mom" cause a scene would not help SS. Me and H, understanding that, set up the separate meeting.

Now I am seeing red.....

We thought/hoped that since my attendance at SS's IEP meeting was cleared by his teacher that BM would find out I was allowed to come on that day.

Nope.

First she said the school called her after my DH had spoken with them to "see if [BM] was ok with it". From the way she spoke, my best guess is that she told them NO, she is NOT. She said to my H that she informed them that "[YOU] may go"...ie, only him, not me. More about how I'm not his parent...will she ever stop rubbing that in my face?

Well, before the New Year things seemed to be going somewhat all right.....SS was coming over about 2 days a week with one overnight for several weeks in a row!! This was a record folks!

But, now visits have dropped back to about 9 hours each week. And now, BM is starting in with her normal crap again~ she sent my DH an email informing him about SS's IEP (school appointment). They want both parents to be there ideally, and she said she needs to know if he's coming so she can tell the teachers who will be there.

I love this song, but I'm not going to post the whole thing...just a few lines. This is from "My Grown Up Christmas List". I thought this was appropriate for what a lot of us are going through