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Learning to Stepparent's Blog

I Have Been Away For Awhile

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I haven't blogged in awhile but here are some updates.

We started family therapy this summer to try and find more effective ways to work with SD6. We haven't found that particularly helpful yet but we will see.

Sd was evaluated by a neuropsychologist at the end of September and the neurpsych very helpfully said "she has all these little neurological symptoms but none of them fit into the nice little diagnoses boxes that we have." Thanks lady, that's very helpful.

And yet more dental care for SD6

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SD6 is with BM out west visiting BM's family right now. BM called DH on Saturday and told him that SD "slightly" chipped a tooth when a storm door swung back and hit her in the face and wanted to know when SD's next dentist appointment was so it could be checked out.

Ummm......her next dental appointment is actually in a little over a month but given her other dental problems why on earth would you wait? We have no idea how bad the chip is, haven't seen a picture or anything. DH told BM that she needed to take SD to a dentist out there to get it checked out.

6 years old and SD is still apparently not potty trained.

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So DH and I took SD6 to the neuromuscular specialist to take another look at the toe walking. At the appointment last fall the doctor said as far as anyone can tell she is walking on her toes due to sensory issues and not anything physical (which we already knew) and that she could put her in braces to force her to walk heel toe but that as soon as you take the braces off she would be right back on her toes so she didn't think that method would be successful. Which is fine, I totally respect that opinion and it makes sense.

Whaaaaattttttt?

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So DH and BM went to mediation a few weeks ago to hammer out the summer visitation schedule. According to the previous CO BM is supposed to have SD6 for half the summer, no weekends, no breaks, we send her down after school lets out and don't get her back until half the summer is over. BM has NEVER wanted that time. She takes a 3 week block in which she goes out west to visit her family and then EOWE after that but the CO was never changed.

I'm Being Selfish and Immature But I Can't Help Myself UPDATED

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SD6 has a Mother's Day tea party in her kindergarten classroom on Friday. BM lives 3 hours away and while she does see SD pretty regularly she is not at all involved in her day to day life. I attend school conferences, doctors appointments, make the appointments, the only thing I do not do that a BM does is attend meetings at the Friend of the Court so I just assumed I would go to the tea party. The other day SD asked me if I was going to the tea party or if MIL would. I said she could ask whoever she wanted and she immediately said she wanted MIL to go.

MIL Issues Must Be a Theme Today

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We are in the process of moving. We closed on the house Friday afternoon and immediately started moving in. We have the majority of it done but we still have stuff at the old house we need to finish up.

The in laws and my parents all came to help unload the trailer and such on Friday and MIL was over all day yesterday helping the kid unpack and watching them so I could go back and forth with loads from the old house, etc.

Need Help With Appropriate Response

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This is nothing new, it has been an issue since SD6 was a baby even though I have only been around since shortly after SD turned 3. There is something about this child that makes everyone feel sorry for her. Poor, perfect, precious, SD acts out because she has a crappy mother and her parents don't live together anymore. This is used as an excuse to explain away her behavior and it is implied that I need to understand and accept that this is the reason she acts out.

The FOC is getting a nastygram in the mail tomorrow.

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So, Tuesday evening, I sat down and prepared the latest medical bill to turn in to the FOC. There was only one this time, but it was a big one, over $800. We had given a copy of it to BM last month and waited the requisite 30 days and it was time to turn it in to the FOC. I printed off the complaint form, filled it out, and had DH sign it. Then I collected the latest bills and prepared them to give to BM tomorrow.

I know I'm immature but I'm still laughing.

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Apparently BM called SD6's teacher today to discuss taking her out of school 4 days early this summer and the school had to call DH to find out if it was OK if they call her back.

It's terrible, pathetic, and sad that BM has had absolutely zero contact with the school all year so the staff has no idea who she is. But I still find it funny that nobody there calls DH to ask if they can talk to me.

Sometimes you have to find amusement wherever you can.

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