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Physical fights between DH and BS14

I.hate.cats's picture

What to do when your husband and 14yo son keep getting into it? BS14 has hit puberty and has grown taller than DH so he's about 5'11" and 135lbs and has the same temperament I remember having at that age; put your hands on me and I'll kick your ass before I even realize I've done so. He's explained this to DH several times and we've both asked DH not to put his hands on BS14 for this reason, not to mention, I don't feel physical intimidation is necessary.

The new job and DH playing 'house husband'

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I am soooo glad to be back at work! I quit working a little over year ago at DH'S request (read: insistence). However the stress of BM, her insanity, lies and drama in addition to how it's effected SD6, just ended up being too much for him to handle. She'd text him non stop ALLL day long and as if that wasn't bad enough, BM'S on again off again boyfriend got involved and routinely called or texted DH to complain about BM. Inevitably it just messed DH up mentally and emotionally to the point that he couldn't deal and ended up losing his job.

Depression, marriage and parenting

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Even though I built the case for DH, getting stuck going it alone and with a court commissioner instead of a judge really seems to have negatively impacted him.

Wednesday was SD13's birthday, DH did nothing - at all - then decided to go pick up SD6 at 7:30 after ordering all of the kids to move furniture while he argued via text w BM. I bought her a new dress and a little lock box, though it's all I could afford since DH lost his job. The stress of dealing with BM, court, seeing how poorly she was parenting SD6, it all just became too much for him.

Waiving mediation

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After three long months the first court date is FINALLY here. The judge DH is going before is notorious for referring everyone to mediation, which in this case is pointless since BM is a liar who's continually provided DH with false information and made herself out to be the victim.

So the question I have is how does DH get the judge to waive mediation without exposing too much drama????

Moving is almost as big of pain as dealing with BM

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I'd love to say we moved somewhere warm with tons of employment opportunities and the ability to grow a vacation trees. But I'd be lying. A years worth of crap accumulated, DH's extensive wardrobe and shoe collection (sometimes I can relate to men complaining about their wives shopping), appliances, two dogs, one kitten and in the midst of it all BM texts DH 2 hours ahead of time to say 'I can't take SD6 to the therapist appointment that I insisted on taking over and made 3 damn weeks ago.

BPD BM told DH that I'm a bad influence on him.

I.hate.cats's picture

I realize that to BM DH standing up for himself and SD6 is a bad thing. I'm sure she misses the days when DH would merely patronize her because he was too non confrontational to call her out on being the lying Slore that she is but what makes her judging our marriage / relationship EPIC is that in the last nine months BM and her BF have had the cops out there a handful of times for domestic violence committed by BOTH of them, questions about restraining orders, retrieval of firearms,they've both been arrested and that's her idea of a good relationship?! Ha.

Now that it's going to court, BM wants to "talk"

I.hate.cats's picture

But how does one talk to a pathological liar and actually get anywhere? She's convinced that she's a great mother! It's not like she's involved in an abusive relationship where she's as much the abuser as she is the abused, she doesn't lie to DH about things like having signed SD up for summer school or having gotten her an actual diagnosis for her cough. The fact that she hasn't taken SD to the doctor for so much as a well child check or can't follow through with dentist appointments or therapist sessions is none of DH's business.

Mission impossible; BM-b*tch acts like she's on a reality show.

I.hate.cats's picture

Why, oh why is it SO impossible to get simple information? Oh, yeah, because she's a bipolar control freak who does nothing but lie! The more involved DH and I became in SD6'S life, the more apparent it became that we needed to be. I took SD for a follow up with her pediatrician who turned out to be a grumpy, dismissive older man who had to be booked two months in advance and was about as friendly as a ferrel cat. We found out that BM hadn't taken SD to the doctor in 2 years, no well child checks, no sick child visits, nothing but missed appointments.

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