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MissElphaba's Blog

I need to pick your brains....

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SO and I are not married, I have a few more weeks on leave and I want to get all my ducks in a row before leaving. Doesn't seem to be much left to fight for with him. I don't know where to start. We have two little ones. I don't want to stop him from seeing them, and his schedule really only allows that he have them on weekends. My biggest fear? He slimes right back into BM's bed. It's what he's done every other time he's single, until he can find a new sucker...I mean girlfriend.

Yes, I'm devistated.

Finally able to update...

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Finally able to update about the last week or so... The weekend of the 17th was not fun. SO kept wanting to brush our huge argument under the rug and take minihag out for fun activities on Saturday. I tried to make the best of the situation because of DS1 and it being our last family weekend. I begged SO to do something with the two of us but he never followed through. He made it all about her.

I think SO made the decision for me.

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He decided to have the minihag over last weekend AND this weekend...He told me this while he was fighting with me because I am "not human" and I hate his daughter etc... He said that she is more important than I will ever be, and due to her mother needing to make plans for this coming weekend - he of course wants to have her.

Since then (Sunday evening) he's been trying to back-pedal on all of the horrifying things he said to me, but I'm kind of apathetic to it now. He wants to make a big deal out of our "last weekend of freedom." Especially while minihag is here.

So why am I still not happy?

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SO and I had the conversation Thursday night over dinner. My mom watched our son so we could hash things out and decide if moving forward together was something we both wanted. He agreed to work on the things I brought up and he had a few points about myself that I should work on. He has even been considerate and is doing the things he said he would.

So why am I still not able to "get it up" in the happiness department?

SO and I are going to have "the talk" this week...

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I complain too much on here about how uncomfortable it is being pregnant, but this time around has just been a nightmare. At this point I'm just trying to show you the building stress level I have. I've gained almost 15lbs more with this little guy and the Dr is measuring my belly and it's all baby in there...I'm not heavy anywhere else, my BP is actually 104/72, the sugars are good, I get around well enough but I have a lot of pressure and some pain. I'm less than two weeks away from the forced eviction of this little dude, and things are starting to get more difficult for me to do.

Is my SO the only one who doesn't think it's fun if his spawn isn't there?

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Why is it...the fun things I want for SO, DS1, and myself to do as our own family unit always seem to fall on visitation weekend? So, I either have to include MSH or I miss out on what I wanted to do. I'd wanted to take DS1 on a little day trip and SO wants to be included, but now there's a kid-central thing happening at a popular arboretum nearby and it would actually be a great visual thing for DS1 to experience, and with the weather getting warm…I can practically taste my own cabin fever!

Getting my tubes tied...or SO just called me by BM's name.

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Last weekend was NOT a skid weekend, but this coming weekend will be and I’m already dreading it. It’s Tuesday… I feel like I spend a large portion of the time that mini seahag is not here worrying about the next visit. I have a one year old and am very pregnant with our second son, due at the end of April. It’s been a very risky pregnancy and I’ve been uncomfortable 90% of the time between the bleeding and cramping and just awkward pain, which was never the case with DS1. He was a breeze to carry and outside of the daily “footsie” we played with each other, I barely knew he was in there.

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