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Surprising

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Earlier today i get this text from bm telling me that ss5 wants to spend fall break with us and that he really wants to see his daddy. She also stated that she tried contacting dh but that he didnt answer. So i Call him and tell him what going on. He said he never got a call or text. We did not get him this summer as I am pregnant and high risk as well as due any day and he lives 8 hours away and 95% of the trip is nothing around. But ss5 understands. He is excited. Well she also said something about uniforms and additional cost for school.

Trying to be civil for the skids sake

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DH, our son 17 months, and I were on our way to my grandmothers house for a family get together. (FYI: Grandfather passed in feb and we were very close) On our way there DH, calls up ss5 so he can talk to him. Well BM made up something like usual so she could talk to DH and said that SS5 was not available. When DH got off the phone, he said in an annoyed voice "I was nice". I asked who he was talking to his mom or bm. He told me bm. So we got into a conversation about how I try to be civil and nice when I have to deal with them but it almost always turns into a fight.

Guilty

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For starters I love my husband very much and our life together also. We have a beautiful little boy 16 months old together and one on the way (another boy). And I also love my ss5 as if he were my own son. I would do anything for him and treat him no differently than i do my own kids. There was a time almost 3 years ago when we were told we could not have children of our own after trying for several years and losing two. So i came to terms that I was not going to bear children and that the only child i would ever have is my ss, whom we hardly ever see.

So uncomfortable

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So I am 8 months pregnant and tired as all can be. I want to sleep, wish I could sleep, but between the swelling, it being hotter than ever out here in the desert, and the constant back pain I dont sleep. I have a 16 month old so i need the energy from the sleep. I just want to not be pregnant anymore. Who ever said anything about pregnancy in summer is ok, you are so wrong. I feel bad also because ss really wants to be here and we want him here but bm wont let us because she is afraid it is going to take away from her thunder or something.

Confused

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Last night my husband went out for a little while to a friends house. Which I really dont care about. But It was getting late and I was tired so I called him and told him I was going to bed. He said ok I will be home shortly. This I dont mind at all. When he got home I was already a sleep and he crawled into bed. I woke up and he asked me if I hate him. I was so confused, I asked why he would ask that. Apparently one of his friends over heard his conversation with me on the phone and told my husband that he didnt even realize it but that I hate him.

Irritated

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So my mil got married yesterday and my husband and i decided not to go for various reasons. mostly because mil continuously bashes me and takes bm side. well I received a call from her today, actually it was my ss5 on the phone to wish me a happy mothers day. Complete surprise because a week ago they told me that he was not part of my family and that I was not part of his life. I have been here since he was born. So I lost it and started crying because I miss him like crazy and was extremely happy to hear from him.

Finally a decision

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So my husband finally said we are not going to his mothers wedding. Finally a few days before we are supposed to leave. but i am so happy about not having to deal with the drama. BM and her live together so it is a nightmare. Granted the sad part is we wont get to see ss for a while but me being 7 months pregnant and us not really going to get to spend time with ss cause bm and mil are being psycho. Just wanted to gloat a little cause it is a huge weight off my shoulders. My husband said Thank you for not making me go.

A little relieved but saddened also

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My husband got home this afternoon from work and we sat talking for a little while in regards to going to my mil wedding. (mil is getting married next weekend, s5s and bm live with mil) Well Last week I tried calling ss5 to see if he wanted to draw a picture or write a letter or something to his dad for his dads birthday. bm wigged out, wouldnt even answer the phone she had to text me. SS5 does this every year for dh birthday and fathers day. Then he sends it through the mail and i add it in the card attached to the gift from ss and dh and mine son.

F********** you

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This afternoon my 15 month old was getting fussy and cranky. He had had a nap but he was acting like he was still really tired. So I grabbed his blanket and him and we sat down and watched tv. Within 10 min he was out cold. Then he starts throwing up everywhere. I put him in the bath and he threw up again. Finally i got him washed up and dressed and he threw up again all over the couch. His dad came home at that time. dh took the baby so i could clean up a bite. He got sick another three time all over the couch on the parts he missed, on me, all over the bathroom, and on my bed.

I wonder sometimes

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SO mil calls me today and asks if we are still going to her wedding. I told her yes as long as my dr clears me the monday before we leave. (im 6 months pregnant and will almost be 7 months at that time, and baby is already head down and ready to go.) I told her as of right now there is nothing to indicate that they will say we cant travel. Then she told me that she needed dh t0 call her right away it was very important.

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