monday i came home from work...no water. i didnt say anything to SS. after the last blowout, i figured, i will let it slide...i really dont want him to think of me as the wicked witch of st. louis.

FH and i have been trying to figure out exactly what we want to do for our wedding for awhile now. we really wanted to go get married on teh beach at a resort in the caribbean, but lack of funds wont allow for that so we thought we could get married at a winery here and then stay at this beautiful B&B that we stayed at twice before, the first time being the very first time i came to visit him here in STL!

my FH just had the final wrap up to the custody bs thats been going on w SD. he had some issues w the parenting plan thats in place, but naturally the judge didnt care. anyway, what struck me is odd was the CS calculation. they have daycare included as part of the calculation, added on top of the normal monthly payment, which is fine for now but she wont be in daycare for much longer. so FH brought that up and said why is daycare included until the age of 18 when she wont be going that whole time? the GAL said that bc BM has to work and cant be home w her, she will need a babysitter. FH said but until 18??? the response? thats just how they do it. does this seem rite to y'all? BM doesnt even work M-F 9-5...she only works one day shift and 2 wkend shifts a wk. why is he responsible for her babysitter? daycare is one thing, but when she goes to work and her roommate stays home w SD, it doesnt seem fair that FH has to pay. does it??

in lite of all the events that have transpired here over the past couple days, and in homage to steve and the other "long-timers", i suggest we get back to the one thing we all (well, most) have in common...our love of booze!! everyone grab a glass of their favorite libation and lets celebrate the wkend! im still at work, but its gotta be close to quittin time for some of u. ive got a party tonite so i'll be enjoying some fantastic wine. i'll raise a glass to all my steptalk pals...cheers! who's in?!

anyone heard from her??? i havent and am kinda worried...

u all know i NEVER complain at ALL about my SS15, the one FH has custody of. i think hes a great, respectful, well-mannered kid...i really do. that being said, he really pissed me off yesterday and i flipped out on him...

i have mentioned before how SD3 is over coddled and babied by BM. granted, i know shes only 3 BUT this is how she is going to raise her and its never gonna change.

it was a rough weekend...SD just doesnt listen, has no manners, yells at us, screams alot and really just acts like a little monkey...had to put in her time out a couple times bc she wouldnt listen to us. she cried so much, every time she didnt get her way or we were trying to make her listen. its like this all the time w her. i know its not her fault and her age has SOME to do w it but it would be alot better if BM was raising her the way i would say most of us raise our kids...to be respectful, mannerly, listen, etc.

picture it...st. louis. 630 am. FH and i are lying in bed trying to wake up, kissing and snuggling like we always do when lo and behold...text msg on his cell! now, who do u think this is from?? its a visitation weekend w SD so naturally its the nutcase. she feels its important to text at 630 to tell him that she is staying home w SD today. so he will be picking her up from her house instead of daycare i suppose.

where's she been? anyone seen or heard from her? i missing her wit, sarcasm and humor!!!

i know this is going to sound really petty but im just looking for advice on how to handle this better and not feel so bad.
FHs family reunion is tomorrow...this is on his dads side and we dont see these people very often. i know everyone will be asking him about his kids...his older boys will be there but SD will not bc its her wkend w BM. so they will be asking, "how many kids do u have now? how old? hows the baby?" this one really gets me...she is 3, not a BABY. i know its family and the kids are family but i just feel awkward w him talking about his kids, not to me, particularily SD, and then im just standing there. i feel like if he has a kid that young it should be w me, and it kinda hurts when he has to talk about it. it just makes me feel bad bc we dont have kids yet and i dont know how to make myself feel better and not get miserable and mad at this all day long.

i was wondering if anyone knew where to find or what the post was called that talked about if it takes 2 people to make a baby, but one does it w/o the others consent or behind his back, shouldnt the BM take responsibility and absolve BF of said obligation? i cant remember the exact verbiage, but i think it even went on to say that men should carry little waiver cards in their wallets and have the ladies sign b4 having sex!!

dont ask me why i looked at the parenting plan again last nite...probably bc it was sitting on top of my laptop (thanks FH)...but the holidays are so screwed up in my opinion. before they had a rotating holiday schedule, meaning one yr FH would get certain holidays and the next yr he would get the other.

so this was the first weekend we've had SD in over a month bc of court and all BMs shenanigans...and naturally, like i predicted, BM starts again. she called and then texted on sat evening to tell him she had her cousins phone! who the f*** cares?! please explain to me why its necessary to bother him w this info. anyone? so he texted back, only bc he wanted to make sure she was gonna be at mcdonalds like they were doing b4 they went back to court. if u rememeber, when they were ironing it all out the GAL wouldnt put mcdonalds as an exchange bc "if you 2 cant get along to drop her off at each others houses, theres a problem." NO SHIT. FH didnt say anything bc the guy then said that they could decide on anywhere to do it, he just wouldnt put it in the papers. so we thot they had an understanding to keep it at mcds. heres the following texts:

so this will be the first time we have seen SD in over a month bc of all of BMs bs at court. needless to say i will be disengaging to the max. i just cant do it...all the drama from court and all that happened and how the situation is now is just too fresh and i really cant deal. i will be home as little as possible this wkend. i just cant be around SD rite now. i know its not her fault, i know that, but looking at her is just too painful after everything we've been thru at court, and everything we've been thru w BM. plus, not being around us for over a month, im sure her manners, or lack thereof, have gotten even worse. i just think its best to remove myself from the situation as much as possible, as least for this wkend, until i can resolve it all alittle better in my mind.

so we went to court today so we could hear what the GAL found out about the whole situation. first off, he said there are no issues...nothing is going on, SD is fine. then we find out that he costs $1000 and my BF has to pay $750 of that...we dont have this kind of money, dont know where we are going to get the money. so it cost us $750 to hear in court that BM is a liar...WOW THANKS. we couldve said that and it wouldnt have cost us a thing. then they started ironing out visitation. first the GAL wanted Bf to have SD every saturday...nice eh? thank god he put his foot down and said no, every other wkend is good. thats all he wanted but they forced the tues visit upon him...BF said, i am going to be doing training, OT and out of town training indefinitely...the didnt care. they said just let BM know if u cant get her via text. we asked about a communication journal to pass back and forth in an effort to limit her contact...they said no. and they wouldnt put the exchanges were to take place at McDonalds in the papers. GAL said, if u cant get along to drop off at each others houses, theres a problem. NO KIDDING!!! HELLO?!!!!!!! u cannot talk to this crazy woman about anything.