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Being late and always tardy o/t question

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 9:48am

I've been reading a lot of frustrated SM stories lately of skids or BMs whose tardiness or failure to arrive on time happen frequently. Or the tardiness causes the SM to be late.

Seems there are two kinds of people in the world: chronically late and persistently punctual. I'm guessing most people are one or the other.

Is either a learned habit or is it part of the person's personality? Do BMs or skids be late or drag their feet on purpose as a passive-aggressive or control tactic? Are SMs over reacting? Is it cultural or geographic-specific?

Losing My Mind, Summer Time Blues

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Mon, 06/16/2014 - 8:26am

It's been just over a week since school's been out and I've had SD12 and SD8 full time (I'm at SAHM mom, DH works full time). DD12 has spent time with her bio dad so it's been skids 100% of the time and DD12 about 50%.

I'm normally engaged with the skids in most areas (deceased BM) and thought I had found my engagement groove/comfort zone.

The Blank Stare

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Tue, 06/03/2014 - 9:39am

What does it mean? Who do you get it most from? Skid? Bio? SO?

Do we project what we "think" it means, based on *who* is currently giving us The Blank Stare?

I've come to believe The Blank Stare often means one of the following:

"Oh shit. I'm in trouble. How I do get out of this with the bare minimum of inconvenience to me?"

"Oh shit. Am I supposed to feel bad or sad about what I just said/did? Well I don't, so I need a few moments to figure out which fake emotional response will get me out of this situation quickest."

Nature vs. Nurture: Related Post to StepKat's Intolerant SS10

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Tue, 04/22/2014 - 10:06am

StepKat just posted about her SS10s negative bias against gay people ("they're crazy!"). A sentiment that is apparently not shared by her SS12 and SD13.

I've often said, "It's all about who takes you home from the hospital!" when I see a poorly behaved, or well behaved, kid in public. Those are time I think Nurture is at work.

Are skids GUESTS/VISITORS or is your home their HOME

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Fri, 04/18/2014 - 8:21am

I see this a lot on Stalk...the debate about how much should be expected of skids when they "visit" your home, or whether or not they should have their own room, or share a room.

A lot is dependent on, of course, the CO arrangement. I have skids 100% 24/7. So my home is their home. They have chores, their own rooms. My expectations of skids are the same as my DD11, who lives here around 75-80% of the time. I consider my home my DD11s "home."

Was I an Awful BM and Not Know It?

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:07am

Several of this week's threads have sparked some self-reflection on my part and I want to challenge all you great SMs to ponder a thought with me. This is for SMs who are also BMs, and your bios also have a SM.

Have you ever considered what it is YOU might be doing, as a BM, that is making your SMs life miserable? Or harder. Or stressful. Or annoying. Or just plain more difficult?

Gonna have a LYS (lose your shit) moment - advice appreciated.

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Submitted by tabby yabba do on Mon, 04/07/2014 - 8:00am

Seriously! Sometimes I get so effing tired of the skid circus and when I reach that point, my spidey-senses for skid misbehavior kicks into overdrive. So I need to know if I should let this slide, or address it. I welcome all feedback, even if it faults me.