everyone knows that my DH's ex took a lump sum of money from us a couple of months ago. for years, she never complained about the main. money she was getting from DH and then when she heard about the supreme court of canada passing a new law that mother's can sue their ex's for up to three years back for child maintenance payments-she went for it. meaning, my DH wasn't paying enough child support according to his income tax returns. this meant a lump sum payment of $20,000. my DH and i have a baby girl together and he supports us both. i am a stay at home mom. his child maintenance payments have also shot way up and we are so broke that we are scrambling to buy milk for our baby girl and not to mention fix a broken down vehicle.

without getting into the detailed 'he said' 'she said' transcript, my DH let his ex have IT last night. she started with her very predictable and very old and boring 'bully attitude' with him and it just didn't fly this time with him. after paying out such a large lump sum to her to 'make good' on not paying enough child support for the last 5 years (even though her and her hubby make twice as much money than we do), i think he finally felt like he's got the freedom to take back a little dignity. he stood up for our family and very assertively pointed out to her that he stands by his responsibility and committment to his son, but at the same time, will not let his 'new' family suffer as a result. he stood up to her, put her in her place and sent the strong message that you can no longer use my child as a pawn in your sickening game of ego fufillment. basically he told her 'you have your money, now shut the f*ck up and leave us alone.'

i have a question for you guys. recently my DH and i did our wills. our biodaughter (1) is with us and his son (12) lives with his mother and his stepdad. when we did our wills, my DH was adamant that we split everything half and half between SS12 and biodaughter 1. i asked why and his answer was 'it wouldn't be fair.' and i replied, 'but if we were to both die at the same time, SS12 has his mother and stepdad to support him and take care of him. his needs will be looked after. our daughter will have NO parents left and will need all the help she can get! can we not split it 60/40?' this caused a big fight and i gave in.

our SS12 doesn't live with us. he visits EOW. when he does, he has no responsibilities or 'chores' or expectations to help with dishes, etc. i don't really make a stink about it, b/c he's here for such a short time. however, he's coming to stay with us for at least two weeks this summer and i'm concerned that i will end up being the cook/maid and i will begin to resent the fact that he will be expected to be treated like royalty while i clean up after him and he sits on the internet in his pajamas all day. his dad is tough to deal with, typical guilty dad that doesn't want to parent. so i'm not sure how to handle this. two weeks isn't long but it's long enough for me to feel drained (we also have a 1 year old biodaughter that keeps me hopping) and tired if i don't get some help.

i don't know who wrote this, but hat's off to whomever did. it really touched my heart.

The Sub

In the shadow

never THE mom

or THE dad

just the substitute.

Love like they are your own

ok, i really don't have anything real to back me up on this, but for some reason, i have made it a personal 'silent' pact not to leave our BD1 alone with SS12. my DH doesn't know i feel this way, and i cannot explain why.

i've been doing alot of thinking since we lost almost $20 grand to BM and her little 'lawsuit' last week. DH and I fought a little over this, of course, who wouldn't? i even cried quite a bit. i mean, we almost lost our house due to her needing this lump sum payment to finish her renovations for her big house.

things were really tense at her house last post, i hope things are alright...

this is getting ridiculous. i have 2 cats. both of them i've had for almost 20 years. they are getting old and ornery but they were my 'first' babies. the last time my SS12 stayed with us (every 2nd weekend), in one of his moody moments told me that he wishes my cats would just disappear. i told him that i'm sure they feel the same way about him.