I guess we've all had both, right? Some of it has been a success and some perhaps not so much. I'm curious as to what you think has been behind the times when you were successfully being what you consider an effective SM and what might have been going on when things were not so effective.

My BM signed over custody to us last friday and left for NC on Sunday morning. It's Wednesday and she hasn't called SD. DH asked her if she called last night at dinner and SD just shook her head and looked at her plate.

SD's mother signed the papers yesterday giving us full physical custody. She moves away today.

I've been dealing with her for 10 years. She's been hard. DH and I are both a little in shock.

Week 2 of having SD with us full time and I feel like I want to enter an ashram and become a monk with no contact with the ouside world.

Funny how one extra person creates so much more work to do. I'm getting slautered here in laundry, dinners to cook, grocery shopping, homework supervising, driving to activities and on and on. All DH can do is walk around with that "I'm on top of the world now that I have custody of my daughter" look on his face. Can't he see what's happening to me?

SD moved in over thanksgiving weekend and started school yesterday. She and my DD worked on homework together last night and everyone seems so happy. I don't think SD has had much of a home life for a long, long time. DH is beside himself with joy. He woke her up for school this morning and came back to our bedroom and told me how grateful he was to have this chance to be here for her.

DH met with BM and her lawyer yesterday to work out the logistics of the custody modification.

She will pay child support, or at least it will be written into the modification that she will and what the amount will be and when it will start. SD will begin living with us full time beginning next Wednesday. She starts school in our district on the 26th of November. There is no set schedule for visitation, just that BM and DH will work it out between themselves. BM told DH that she understood that SD will not want to spend all her summers and all of her vacations with her as she will probably want to be with her friends and participate in activities from school. I'm hoping she will eventually have a little job as well. BM will try and come here to visit SD and stay with her parents as much as possible. BM will pay for all travel expenses when she does vist her in NC. BM will pay half of all medical and dental expenses not covered by my insurance. And she has agreed to pay half of whatever college costs turn out to be when SD goes away to school. DH will no longer pay CS to BM starting next week. The lawyer also said that it would be an act of good faith if BM were to give us a little money before she leaves and before the order is signed.

I knew this would happen. DH is supposed to meet with BM and her lawyer this afternoon to try and work out arrangements for her to sign over custody. She just called DH to say "Oh, BTW, I'm not paying CS." DH told her of course she would pay CS. She can't just waltz out of here like she never had a child. Why do women think that it is necessary for a father to pay but when it comes to them, the rules have changed. She actually told him that he had to pay all these years because SD was "HIS CHILD". Well, duh, isn't she YOUR CHILD TOO????

As much as I've told myself that BM will never sign over custody and just leave SD with us, it's really starting to look like that will happen.

I'm so scared. What woman in her right mind would want to have a 15 year old girl dropped off on her, taken out of school mid-year, desserted by her mother, who has been given all kinds of freedom and no limits in the past? Especially when she already has a 15 year old girl living with her?

Our lawyer advised us to enroll SD in our HS asap, even before final custody papers have been drawn up. BM is dragging her feet on the papers and we want to have SD in our school district by thanksgiving. I just called the school and they said they won't admit her until all papers have been signed. I explained that SD would be living with us before the papers were official and she would need to be going to school. I was told that DH needs to contact the superindentant and explain the situation. I was also told that since I was "just the SM" it should be DH that called.

Hello Ladies,

I joined this site about a week ago and am only now figuring out that most people post on their blogs and offer advice and support on other people's blogs. What a great idea.

So, I thought I'd start my own little blog and introduce myself.