Hi everyone. I haven't posted since prior to Christmas when I reported that I was thinking of leaving my fiance. Well I did it. It took me these last two months to work up the courage but I really did it.

That's right. I think I might leave. I'm 5 months pregnant with my first child and I'm going to be alone. I guess I just realized that whether I'm with him or not I'm all alone.

I can't bring my daughter into that home. I don't want her to grow up thinking that it is right for a man to speak to or treat a woman like that.

My 7yo SD is one of the most Jealous children I have ever seen. She is extremely jealous of her 3 year old sister ( they have the same mom and dad) and now that I am pregnant she is gearing up to be worse with the baby.

I had my third pre-natal drs appt today. I was nervous because I have had miscarriages in the past. DH couldn't make it. He had to work 8-4. Fine! Whatever. I also needed to have blood taken ( I get dizzy) so my dad was gonna go. DH flipped out saying That I am an adult and should be able to go by myself. Fine FU I went by myself. (If DH really wants to be concerned with people not growing up he shold look at his BD who still calls him, DADA depite constant reminders not to)BLAH.

SOOOOOO last year DH stated that this would be the first and last year that his kids opened presents at everyones house. He wanted both familes ( his and mine) to bring presents to our house so kids could open from everyone at once. I know some families do this but mine never did. And his parents didn't want to miss the girls opening gifts. SO then we all forgot about it. Well last night he starts with the same BS and states this is the way its gonna be..blah blah blah. SO I just wanted to lay it on the line for him. This is what I said,

I am terrified. My oldest SD is insanely jealous of her 2 year old sister. I mean I have never seen anything like it in my life. DH plays right into this and ignores the little one to give "extra love" to the oldest. He swears he's always fair but I've told him that the little one can't verbalize her feelings as well yet so he has no idea of knowing how she feels. Now I'm pregnant and I know that the 7 year old is going to be miserable once this baby comes. SHe has to monopolize all of her fathers attention. He can split it 99% to her and 1% to the 2 year old and she is a miserable little brat for that small 1% of the time. How is she going to deal with a baby living with us even after she and her sister go back to their mothers?

OKay so clearly I literally knew he had kids...but I am asking people to consider this...Has the relationship with the kids changed since you met your spouse....let me elaborate..

When I met DH and we started dating he had the girls for a couple of hours on Sundays..Tuesdays after shcool into wednesday mornings and wednesdays after school into thursdays. Whether it was summer vacation or school year both girls were gone during the day either at school or daycare (I'm talking gone from 8-430). I don't want to make DH sound abd but he worked crazy hours and this is what his schedule allowed for.

I posted before about DH wanting oldest SD 7 to have own room in new house (even though I'm pregnant and she is only with us 3 nigts a week). I wnated her and other SD 2 to share bigger bedroom and save smaller room for Nursery. It was a huge fight but eventually he came around to my side. ( I basically told him if he was giving that room to SD the baby and I weren't moving in with them).

SO last nighht we told my parents about the baby!!!! Yeah!! Everyone's excited. Then DH feels how he has to give a little speach about how it's important to trat SD 7 equal bn/c she feels left out. I wanted to kill him.

Okay so long story short my dh and I are moving. BM is in a bad situation with her current housing. She lives with a Jerk. So dh and I decided it would be great to turn our apartment over to her so she could get out of her current situation. Great! Everyone's happy. PHHLLPS not our landlord. He's being a jerk b/c he wnated us to buy the home...no way.....so he says she can't move in. SO now BF and I are discussing the whole screwed up situation...and he feels bad...me too I say...but no he feels really bad...yeah me too I say...no he feels bad not just for the kids but for the ex too. Here he got her all excited and now he has to disapoint her. well, I say, I feel bad too, but come on it's about the kids right ( isn't that every step-parents mantra...it's for the kids repeated over and over again while hugging a pillow or slamming your head against the wall)HOw would you feel...he now yells...having to call her and tell her. Again I remind hime that as bad as her situation is she did make her decisions herself.

So last night BF and I are talking (Im pregnant) and he was saying something about how many more kids we want because they are expensive. Which always irritates me because he thinks 3 is enough ( baby +2SDs) and I want at least 2 more. SO he wants all kids to have own room someday which means with 4 kids we need a 5 bedroom house. SO now I'm irritated b/c I just was and I said that the baby and the next one could share a room. Then he got mad at me b/c he said i can't seperate the kids. So now I was really mad and I said I won't split the kids. Then I told him that I'm afraid he will b/c he'll feel guilty that he is still with me and not with the skids mom. He denied it but I'm afraid its true.

I know I've said this before but I have 2 SDs 7 & 2 and I'm pregnant. We won't have the baby for this christmas but I am just thinking ahead....

BM likes to keep the girls for christmas morning and my BF doesn't fight her because she doesn't have a lot of family so we get them for christmas eve and christmas day dinner. So BM does the big Santa morning w/ the skids. Now my BF insists that they have just as big of a morning at our house even though they are not there. So we do just as many presents from Santa as BM. ( To me this seemed extreme b/c the girls also have my bf's family bm's family AND my family goes nuts on them as well) We still have toys from last year that they never opened at ourhouse.

I'll make this brief because i really just want feedback as to what is fair. We are moving to a 3 bedroom home. My fiance has 2 girls 7 and almost 3. I am 11 weeks pregnant. We looked at the house and I stateed it would be prefect because the girls could have the medium sized room and the baby could have the little one. Then my fiance states that oldest SD wants her own room with us b/c she has one at her moms. He wants to put the baby and the almost 3 year old in the same room. The girls only live with us 1/2 the week so I don't think that makes any sense. I asked what if the baby was a boy. He said there is nothing wrong with a boy baby and a girl 3 year old sharing a room. ( It's not that I think that is wrong. Just pointless when the 7 and 3 year old could share b/c they don't live with us full time). Plus I have always dreamed of doing the nursery and this is my first child.

for a 7 year old to kiss adults on the mouth. My SD kisses her father on the mouth when she kisses him goodnight. She used to try and do it to me....but I put a quick stop to it. I come from a very affectionate family but this is just something that seems odd to me.

Last night my bf, and 2 sds and I went to my mom's for dinner. My puppy was arking at the table so I yelled at her. SD 7 started laughing. My mom asked her why and she said,

"sometimes when Gabby yells I think it's so funny I have to put my face in a pillow to hide my laughing"