Hi everyone. Long time no post... Actually, I have a question for a friend of mine I just spent the weekend with. Long story short, she is the bread winner. She makes a lot of money and her husband has not worked for 8 1/2 years. He gets little jobs here and there, but hasn't made any significant impact on their finances. They have two little girls who have been in full time daycare since they were infants. Okay he's been cheating and she is sick and tired of him. So divorce court is next month. They will be married for 10 years 1 month by trial time. He has a lawyer and she doesn't. She thinks that because they live in California she automatically must pay him alimony and child support with a 50/50 shared custody.

Going to the retreat, made me feel real in this cyper relationship we have. So I felt drawn back in. Only to find a different site. Maybe it's like graduating high school and going back for a reunion.

We all travel on journeys for different reasons. Me, I ended my fury with the ex and steps, or rather they with me. Even so, I've struggled with my choices, behavior and the consequences that my being influenced. For a long time now, although I haven't written much on ST, I watch and occasionally respond because if it weren't for this group, I may not have survived. So came the retreat...

Here's life: Part 1

I thought I hit gold, a great husband, two step kids and a seeemingly cool ex-wife.

NOT:

Part 2

Fights, legal battles and parental alienation

Part 3

Too much stress, building a new house, husband loses his job, multiple miscarriages inexperienced contractor, fails to finish project and tries to sue us because he can't pay his own bills.

Hola everyone,

Okay, life has been crazy, and I won't go into it for too much drama. But, a friend of mine recommended that I sign up for this email from "the Universe". She's a super chill, very cool, incredible woman so I thought, okay, for her, I will. I did. It's www.UT.com I started getting daily emails and they are great. Inspirational, motivating, and astoudingly "right on". I don't know how they hit the mark. So, I would like you all to do the same. It's not a gimmick, just cool. I love it. It has made me reflect, washed away some fears, given me hope and offerered me a sense of a brighter future. For those of you who are interested, go for it. Let me know if you like it.

We're having a birthday party for my daughter on the 14th. She'll be three. She wanted her sister, my SD to come and paint faces. I emailed SD and asked her if she would come and paint the kids faces.

Okay, my friend Liz has had a bad bunch of luck lately. She missed getting the job of her dreams by making a mistake on an entrance exam, her mother died, and she got pnemonia and was feeling pretty shitty. All within 2 weeks. I called her today to see how she was and she said....

Can I? Some of you don't know me because I'm not on here that often anymore. This place was a sanctuary for me during the eye of the storm. Now, well call me evil, cold, ugly, poison.

I've thought those thoughts about myself wondering how I can say what I am about to tell you all. Here it goes. I'm glad we don't see DH's kids anymore. I'm glad to not worry about the shit I went through daily, all that you do still. But, I feel bad. DH had his birthday on Tuesday and not a single goddamn word from the kids.

Well, for those of you who responded to my last post, I was very concerned about my daughters daycare and you gave me the strength to find something else. For some reason, my husband, didn't, and actually still doesn't get it.

Okay this isn't a step parenting issue but it is a parenting issue so if you have the patience to read the whole thing, I hope you can help me. Here goes.

I have an irregular schedule so I need to enroll my daughter (2 1/2) full time in preschool even if I don't take her every day. We found a Spanish immersion school that comes with lots of high level exposure and accolades. From day 1,(november) my daughter hated it. I thought maybe it was because she didn't like the uniform and didn't understand the language. Now months later she still throws a fit if she has to go. RED FLAG to me.

For those of you who know about our troubles with the stepkids, a brief synops. DH has met with the counselor and BM to work towards fixing the relationship with the kids. They agreed to "have 3 good days" over the holidays instead of the regular 2 week visitation per the degree. The kids agreed to come over on the 26th, even though my last contact with SD was an email stating that I was not to write to her or respond to the email she wrote. I honored it, but it was difficult.

I listened to these words last night and thought how beautiful, and I wanted to share with all of you. To those who need faith, support, love or just a little break. Happy New Year to all of you with all the love in my heart, read on...

For those of you who know my story, I finally agreed to go back to counseling. So this time I went to the skids counselor with my husband. I thought before hand that I would keep my mouth shut and see what he had to say. I was pretty convinced from the things I had heard about the sessions with BM, DH and skids that this counselor may not be seeing things as they really are.

I want to scream. This situation with my DH kids and his fricken ex-wife is bringing me to tears. SD as you read in last post, has again repeated that I should attend counseling, today I received an email asking me to not email her or respond to the one she wrote. If I have questions I can ask (my husbands name). No she does say dad she uses his name. I need to say this. We are Damn good people. Upstanding, healthy, successful, kind, educated, well traveled. You would think we were sinners, child molesters, abusers. I can think of nothing other than her mother's support. Every week she hates us more, says more devilish things. Last week she said to throw away anything of hers at our house and she didn't want a room there. (well that is fine with me, since that was a battle DH and I had some time back, if you followed me about the "guest room" thing and the new house we are building.)

The last time DH went to counseling with the kids. BM sat in between the kids on the couch while DH sat in a chair opposite of them. Metaphorically, I think it says it all. (yes my opinion all along is PAS) So this time. DH asked the counselor if BM could not participate in this session so that he would have alone time to talk to the kids. So....when the kids arrived, the first thing SD said is, "Dad, keeping Mom away isn't going to change our opinions". Why couldn't Bm just keep her mouth shut and say this time you are going alone with Dad, and support it?