I'm sick of this situation, I'm sick of living with someone's elses mess. I will not allow this woman (his ex) to constantly attack me and my family, and given that my husband refuses to go to extremes necessary to protect his family from the verbal and emotional attacks we go through every day.

By many contributors here is our story so far....

Once upon a time there was a lovely lady who met a handsome man...they fell in love and they married....everything seemed like it was going so well...they had so much fun together. One day there was a knock at the door and the lovely lady opened the door and there were two small children standing there. They were beautiful children, with big round innocent eyes and soft hair and as she gazed upon them she felt like they looked familiar... the boy child had a note pinned to his shirt…she reached down and took the note and read it...

Once upon a time there was a lovely lady who met a handsome man...they fell in love and they married....everything seemed like it was going so well...they had so much fun together. One day there was a knock at the door and the lovely lady opened the door and there were two small children standing there. They were beautiful children, with big round innocent eyes and soft hair and as she gazed upon them she felt like they looked familiar... the boy child had a note pinned to his shirt..she reached down and took the note and read it...

I knew this is two blogs in one night...but as I was sitting here thinking about how I feel and why I don't leave, I think I know why....I think if I leave him, that he will go back to his ex-....i know it may sound crazy, but they were married for 18 years and had 6 kids, then she decided she wanted a divorce...he fought it, but she divorced him. I have always felt like the mistress and that she was still his wife, she is still the wife and mother of his children.

When my kids aren't here, and his are, it feels like they take over the house. There are so many of them and they fall into their routine and do whatever they want while most of the time dad is in his office on the computer, and Bio Mom is always hovering nearby...she doesn't actually live near us, but she is here as much as if she had a room in our house, she emails the kids and calls the kids constantly. Some days she calls 4 or 5 times....she is a control freak and a hypocrit and she isn't about to stop meddling and let the kids have some kind of a normal life...she also looks for opportunities to cause problems for us...her latest, she let the 14 year old dye her hair purple over the weekend, this is not allowed at the school she goes to...SD knew it and Bio Bitch knew it, so she takes her to school this morning and SD promptly get's suspended from school for the day and we have to go get her, go buy a hair dye kit and take her home to fix it, this is a normal day at our house. Bio mom managing to find ways to fuck with us. Then she is calling all evening wanting 19 year old SS to run around looking at cars for her, she wrecked her 5th car in 5 years, somehow she keeps managing to get people to either give her new cars of give her money for them....

So just to get a head count, who out there is in Austin, Texas and if you are, are you interested in a ladies lunch??

my husband is an ass....i'm either going to divorce him or have an affair....

I'm hiding in the bedroom, I'm pretending to take a nap...shhhh..cause if everyone figures out I'm really awake they will be all over me. This is the only way I can get a little peace, right now my wonderful strong managerial husband is out hiding himself too, except he hides in his office behind the computer screen, meanwhile the kids are running haphazardly through the house and it is a wreck..but I am determined not to go out there...if its a mess so be it...its his turn to run things and if everything is falling apart...i'm not responsible...right?

I've been talking to a counselor on and off to try and help me figure out, not so much how to deal with the situation I'm in, but how I got into it in the first place....

Anyway, one of the things I have a tendency to do, which based on some of the blogs I've been reading, I'm not the only one....is to do too much or feel guilty about not doing enough to the point of exhaustion.

This isn't really a step issue, but a divorced dealing with my own ex and the kids issues. Its a bit long to explain, but I could sure use some good advice.

I have an 18 year old son who just graduated from high school. When he started his senior year I bought a $3500 car and made a contract to sell it to him for $1500 at $100 a month payments. I wanted him to have some transportation and get it paid off before he started college. I also made a contract with him to stay drug free and alcohol free. Everything went fine until he turned 18 in January and then he just decided he was an adult and could do whatever he wanted. He first went out and got a tatoo, he started falling behind on his car payments and not applying himself at school. This all came to a head right after graduation, I had threatened to take the car and then he got caught with alcohol and drugs in the car on the 4th of July. I took the car away and told him he was grounded from using it for 30 days while I decided how to handle this and then a couple of weeks later my husband noticed one of his gas cards was missing and we found out my son had stolen it and when confronted lied to us about it.

....more and more lately I just feel like he married me because that is his nature, he wanted a wife to help take care of his children and run his household and that was his primary goal....in general he pays attention to me when he wants something or needs help with something...but I don't feel loved, or cherished or romance...this is probably why folks have affairs...at least during that time, you focused totally on each other, then you get married and it stops...

So, summer visitation is over and the ex- finally is back on her visitation schedule. Just an fyi, we have custody of the kids cause she is such a mess she lost custody.

Anyway, so it starts out a mess as usual, she forgot to pick them up from school. School calls and they finally find her and she gets the girls. They are with her alllllll weekend! Unless she kicks one out, which is a regular occurence.

Question - Which of the following causes the most trouble and stress in your marriage...

A. The stepkids....you just really don't like them and they are unpleasant to be around....

B. Your husband, it isn't really the kids that are stressful, its his inablity to manage them

I went to see the new 'The Simpsons' movie last night...just wanted to get a break and see something silly....

so I'm watching the movie and I'm having dejavu...I could feel the hair rising on the back of my neck and I got this scary feeling inside...and then I finally realized what it was..

Hmmm, logged into the office computer when I got home today and found out my husband has been reading my blogs.....is this a good thing?

Feedback ladies?